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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    Wait, a beach in the UK without people huddling behind wind screens? :D

    It's that one week of summer, don't you know?

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    Wait, a beach in the UK without people huddling behind wind screens? :D

    That is the emptiest beach I have ever seen when it's not raining

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • amethystoakamethystoak Registered User regular
    My husband and I have basically decided to be one-and-done, and we're both mostly ok with that decision. I'm probably 90% not wanting to have another kid and 10% wanting to have another one. We've been mulling it over for a while now, and haven't changed our minds.

    We saved almost all of our daughter's baby stuff with the expectation of having another kid someday. My husband's brother & his wife are expecting their first baby later this year, so today we made the arrangements and this weekend they are going to come pick up all the baby stuff we saved. And with that, I'm feeling more emotional than I expected I would. I haven't changed my mind, but I definitely feel sad about it. I wasn't prepared to deal with these emotions right now, ugh.

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    *hugs*

    that's tough. We were always one and done, but even knowing that, letting the baby stuff go to other people was tough.

    but, on the chance you change your mind, you stuff is just going to the brother in law. so you may be able to get it back.

    I know that my Medela breast pump that I bought and used like twice is already on it's 6th mum.

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    My husband and I have basically decided to be one-and-done, and we're both mostly ok with that decision. I'm probably 90% not wanting to have another kid and 10% wanting to have another one. We've been mulling it over for a while now, and haven't changed our minds.

    We saved almost all of our daughter's baby stuff with the expectation of having another kid someday. My husband's brother & his wife are expecting their first baby later this year, so today we made the arrangements and this weekend they are going to come pick up all the baby stuff we saved. And with that, I'm feeling more emotional than I expected I would. I haven't changed my mind, but I definitely feel sad about it. I wasn't prepared to deal with these emotions right now, ugh.

    :bro:

    A while ago someone on reddit asked what innocent question hurts the most and one of the answers that got upvoted a lot was "just the one child?" or some variation thereof. It resonated with a lot of people and yeah it fucking stings and will continue to for ages. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ngxdkw/what_is_a_seemingly_innocent_question_that_is/gytosnd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    I commend people that only have one kid. There's so much societal pressure to have at least two (gotta get that boy/girl combo!) and it's great to do what feels right for you and your spouse. And I say all this coming from a family with lots of brothers and sisters.

    We have two kids, but I was totally fine with just having one. We decided to wait 3 years before making a final decision on a second, granted we only made it 2 years, but we knew by then what we wanted. The biggest factor was my wife being an only child (she's from China and was born during the one-child rule). I knew I wanted 1 or 2 kids, but no more than that.

    So yeah, be happy with your decisions. If it feels right, it probably is right. If you change your mind, so be it. That's your decision and not anyone else's. Don't let society dictate how you should feel.

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  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    I commend people that only have one kid. There's so much societal pressure to have at least two (gotta get that boy/girl combo!) and it's great to do what feels right for you and your spouse. And I say all this coming from a family with lots of brothers and sisters.

    We have two kids, but I was totally fine with just having one. We decided to wait 3 years before making a final decision on a second, granted we only made it 2 years, but we knew by then what we wanted. The biggest factor was my wife being an only child (she's from China and was born during the one-child rule). I knew I wanted 1 or 2 kids, but no more than that.

    So yeah, be happy with your decisions. If it feels right, it probably is right. If you change your mind, so be it. That's your decision and not anyone else's. Don't let society dictate how you should feel.

    Honestly, as a pair of only-children, and first time parents, I have no idea how you all manage to wrangle and pay for more than one kid. I am tired a lot.

  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    I commend people that only have one kid. There's so much societal pressure to have at least two (gotta get that boy/girl combo!) and it's great to do what feels right for you and your spouse. And I say all this coming from a family with lots of brothers and sisters.

    We have two kids, but I was totally fine with just having one. We decided to wait 3 years before making a final decision on a second, granted we only made it 2 years, but we knew by then what we wanted. The biggest factor was my wife being an only child (she's from China and was born during the one-child rule). I knew I wanted 1 or 2 kids, but no more than that.

    So yeah, be happy with your decisions. If it feels right, it probably is right. If you change your mind, so be it. That's your decision and not anyone else's. Don't let society dictate how you should feel.

    I concur, and that's an eloquent way to put it. In my case it wasn't about what we wanted, but about what was possible. Our decision was forced upon us by my partner's health and our combined finances, and I don't see a way out of either situation quickly enough to still go for a 2nd child. So uhh I'm not happy about it, but I won't let others make me feel guilty about this.

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    edited June 2021
    Yeah, I didn't even touch on the financial and sanity investments for more than one child. Having a second kid is not twice the work, more like three to four times the work/stress/expenses.

    But again, I'm not trying to judge. I know there's some people here with multiple kids. Not trying to come down on their decisions either. Every couple does what they want to do, be it 1 to 2+ kids. Hell, some couples are happy with no kids. More power to everyone.

    My only exception to that rule is my cousin.
    She's currently pregnant with her 8th kid and her husband is full-time in the Navy and has been away from home at sea for several spans of months and years. Reading her Facebook is looking into a well of insanity. And not a "Guys I'm so tired" well, no, you get the hard right "Vaccines are evil and Trump is a savior" well. After getting blocked by her, I contacted my her mom, my aunt who's a nurse, and told her she really needs to get her daughter into therapy.

    "She's just really tired from having to raise the kids mostly alone."

    I mean....maybe, I don't know, not have 8 kids one after the other then?

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    I've got zero sympathy for parents who say they are tired with three or more kids.

    You knew how this works.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Ehh... in a healthy non-abusive household, yes. Definitely. If you just want a big family, you know how much work it'll be.
    But there could be reasons that just suck for everyone.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    But I need more kids to send down the tin mine!

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    I've got zero sympathy for parents who say they are tired with three or more kids.

    You knew how this works.

    I keep trying to figure out a tasteful, not personal way to write "Gatekeeping how tired I'm allowed to be, based on how many kids you *think* I should have had, is really shitty behavior", and failing miserably

  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    I think we should maintain an appropriate level of sympathy for all parents who say they're tired, regardless of how many kids they have. Shockingly it doesn't get easier with each new kid and so it's reasonable for someone to say "boy having this new baby on top of these other two existing children is hard," regardless of whether they should have and almost certainly did know that it would be hard.

    I don't think the reverse of this, where someone with multiple kids says to the person with one kid "you don't even know what tired is," would be well received here, I don't think we need to point that snark the other way.

  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Booger CoveRegistered User regular
    We're tired all the time with just the one kid and we're still thinking about having a second

    The first one took a year to conceive so who knows if it's even in the cards, but we're still considering it nonetheless

    I'm not sure if I have a point to make, just trying to add another perspective

    640qocnq4ske.gif
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Son was in a mood this afternoon, turns out he needed a massive poop.....

  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    Son was in a mood this afternoon, turns out he needed a massive poop.....

    Isn't that how it always is?

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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    We contemplated a third, but agreed we just couldn't do the newborn stage again, especially as both of our kids aren't really good for "zone" defense as opposed to one-on-one coverage. They're both great, but we agreed if we had three our attention would be too split to have meaningful relationships with them given our jobs and own space needs.

  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    We're certainly done at 2, which we're both agreed on. Our baby, being huge, has already outgrown a lot of stuff and while it's sad to see some of it go its nice to have the space it was taking up back, and we're passing things on to friends and family with smaller babies or kids on the way.

    :so_raven:
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    My wife has always wanted three.

    Unfortunately her endometriosis and my rubbish sperm has put that in doubt. If the next IVF cycle works and it's a girl we'll stick with two.

    If it's a boy we'll try again for a third as we both would like a girl.

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    I'm not keen on moving from man-to-man to zone defense. Largely as Nending is a nightmare to deal with compared to her older sister

    But we'll see

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    :so_raven:
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

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  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    Anecdotally, I feel like I hear about it happening a lot.

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  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    I think it's not uncommon. My wife was a bit sad at first that our second was going to be a boy, but we certainly didn't want to attempt a third kid on the off chance of getting a girl.

    Some cultures have quite a bit of pressure to produce a son, or parents may have always envisioned themselves having a kid of certain sex. I really didn't care about it one way or another.

    :so_raven:
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    I think it's tied to the old, ideal belief of having the boy/girl pair. Been around for a long time. I'd have to imagine that it's curbed off a lot these days though. You know, since millennials aren't having kids for some reason.
    The reason is money. They have no money.

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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    Anecdotally, I feel like I hear about it happening a lot.

    Because, to some extent, each parent (in a man/woman pair) would like a child that's closer to them genetically. I know plenty of moms of only boys that are tired of the types of play boys generally enjoy (I know this isn't an absolute, but true for them), or just want to buy cute girl things.

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Oh yeah, come to think of it French Girl's mum was weird about us having a second daughter. But it was just such nonsense it slid off my brain apparently.

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    edited June 2021
    My mother-in-law was pushing hard for the boy/girl combo. She pushed so hard, that the wife was considering not having another one at all. She changed her mind since she didn't want to raise an only child, so we got pregnant again. I was secretly hoping for a second daughter just to shut grandma up. :)

    Because seriously, she doesn't know how close her stupid second kid pressure almost backfired on her. Unfortunately for her she mentioned the boy/girl stuff once our son was older ("You see? He's so good. I was right!") and got an earful from me. That second pregnancy was really hard on my wife since she had to take twice daily blood thinner shots to her stomach because she developed a blood clot at the end of the first pregnancy. Then there was a lot of depression and mental problems that took her over two years to finally move past.

    So yeah, have any number of kids you want, be it 0-100. But don't let any motherfuckers out there, be it family/friends/social media groups, influence your decision. This thread, and the D&D parenting one, are the best places for honest and caring advice and both have helped me a lot with my parenting struggles.

    Ahem, thanks everyone. Y'all are the best.

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    Anecdotally, I feel like I hear about it happening a lot.

    Because, to some extent, each parent (in a man/woman pair) would like a child that's closer to them genetically. I know plenty of moms of only boys that are tired of the types of play boys generally enjoy (I know this isn't an absolute, but true for them), or just want to buy cute girl things.

    I think there's a lot of reasons that is difficult to really sum up as just one thing.

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  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    My mother-in-law was pushing hard for the boy/girl combo. She pushed so hard, that the wife was considering not having another one at all. She changed her mind since she didn't want to raise an only child, so we got pregnant again. I was secretly hoping for a second daughter just to shut grandma up. :)

    Because seriously, she doesn't know how close her stupid second kid pressure almost backfired on her. Unfortunately for her she mentioned the boy/girl stuff once our son was older ("You see? He's so good. I was right!") and got an earful from me. That second pregnancy was really hard on my wife since she had to take twice daily blood thinner shots to her stomach because she developed a blood clot at the end of the first pregnancy. Then there was a lot of depression and mental problems that took her over two years to finally move past.

    So yeah, have any number of kids you want, be it 0-100. But don't let any motherfuckers out there, be it family/friends/social media groups, influence your decision. This thread, and the D&D parenting one, are the best places for honest and caring advice and both have helped me a lot with my parenting struggles.

    Ahem, thanks everyone. Y'all are the best.

    I’m going to remind you that earlier this week, my son had five dumps in a day, and topped it off with a projectile poo-pedo that ricocheted around the changing table before landing on my shirt.

    You all help keep me sane.

    I have no idea, still, how you all with two or more kids do this, but I am in awe.

  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    Two is my max, I think, after having one.

    It doesn't help that he still can't get solid food past his lips, or that he's just now at 4 getting around to talking, or that he'll do everything for potty time excluding the actual potty in the toilet because the toilet freaks him out. He just drives me crazy. But he also is brilliant (too brilliant) at computers, and he knows all his letters, and his numbers up to 12, and he knows a lot of shapes, and he can read and spell, and I know this because he's started to find any search bar he can and enter words like "Mario", "Luigi", "Peach", and whole phrases like "Super Metroid Full Playthrough" and "Super Mario 3D World" with appended levels. He'll search for "Zoom" (while whispering "Zooon") when he wants to talk to people, even if that search bar is on a phone we left within reach for 5 seconds. He knows a lot, and he's very bright and inventive and if I could just coax all that knowledge to come out I feel like I'd be the one asking him "why".

    And if it can be that fun and frustrating with one, I'm willing to try for two.

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  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited June 2021
    Prior to having T, we hadn’t actively talked about how many kids we were gonna have, particularly after what happened in our first pregnancy. We are lucky enough to have T as it is, especially so soon after that first pregnancy, and there’s definitely a simplicity to just having to focus on one set of smol needs rather than juggling it all.

    But what changed my mind was the realization that T is not likely to have any cousins on either side of the family, certainly not any that live here in Perth. And so on that basis alone, I’d like her to have someone who’s got her back, and vice versa. God knows she’s gonna need it - my family is extremely intense. Blake’s is less so but still, it’s a lot for one person to manage.

    So we’ll start trying next year. I’m trying to stay realistic. My health will remain an issue and I’ll be older to boot. We do have one amazing kid, and we are already so so lucky… I don’t know how much luckier we can get. But I’m strongly considering getting back into some kind of exercise regimen anyway, mostly to try to keep up with T, and this is another reason to get moving.

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  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    schuss wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    Anecdotally, I feel like I hear about it happening a lot.

    Because, to some extent, each parent (in a man/woman pair) would like a child that's closer to them genetically. I know plenty of moms of only boys that are tired of the types of play boys generally enjoy (I know this isn't an absolute, but true for them), or just want to buy cute girl things.

    I think there's a lot of reasons that is difficult to really sum up as just one thing.

    Yes, absolutely. My statement was fairly reductive, but those are the most common things I've seen. In other cases, people try to recreate their own childhood experience or construct an ideal based on their own satisfied/unsatisfied needs as kids.
    Both my wife and I started with an agreed target of 3, but after the time logistics of #2 and seeing how dealing with 3 was going for friends, we opted out.

    That said, we feel incredibly blessed by a power of some sort (I'm not really religious) to have the kids we have and that we had minimal complications in the whole process. My heart definitely goes out to those who even struggle to get to one, as it's definitely a luxury to be able to choose the number in any way.

  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited June 2021
    I also really just want to put this somewhere: I freakin’ LOVE T’s daycare.

    It’s not particularly fancy - it’s actually in a lower socioeconomic zone than where we live, they don’t track a lot of data that other daycares track, their facilities aren’t particularly modern, and every so often when you arrive in the morning, things can feel a little bit hectic. It’s completely, diametrically opposed to how I like to run things - I am not someone that is known for going with the flow so much as I am someone who exhausts every other flow-opposing option before SURRENDERING to the flow. I had my guard up because of this - I’d heard lots of other daycares track everything from the amount and types of food eaten during the day to times for sleep, whereas I’m lucky if ours give us an accurate account of when she slept.

    But, folks. I. Love. It.

    I think it’s exactly because it’s different to how I run things. It’s been heartwarming and reassuring to see T love such a different way of doing things, and, beyond that, absolutely flourishing in that environment.

    She loves everyone there. It took her a bit to get settled but once she figured out that everyone wearing a specific polo shirt was a staff member, she was so much more comfortable. She’s formed attachments with staff in pretty much all the rooms in the centre. She’s actually excited when she sees that we’re in the parking lot at drop-off, appropriately demurred when we leave, and then excited again to see us at the end of the day. Blake does most pickups and says she basically babbles to him the entire car ride home, we presume about her day. She is clearly learning HEAPS - she’ll come back with new sounds and new words (both sign and verbal) and new skills literally overnight… her vocabulary has doubled in the last two months, and her comprehension is just blowing my mind. Like her brain is getting the stimulation it needs there.

    I love it. I’m so happy we went with something so different to what we have at home. (We actually chose it over a couple of other options specifically because it has a huuuuge outdoor play area while we don’t have much of a yard ourselves.)

    Like I’m not gonna change how I do things. It’s gotten me this far and I’ve accepted my flaws as necessary counterweights to my strengths. It’s just so freakin’ awesome to know definitively that we didn’t make the wrong call in at least one aspect of her life. It’s awesome.

    I’ll be so sad when it has to end in a few years’ time. I know greater things await but gosh I might feel the loss even more acutely than she does when the time comes.

    Vivixenne on
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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    Anecdotally, I feel like I hear about it happening a lot.

    Because, to some extent, each parent (in a man/woman pair) would like a child that's closer to them genetically. I know plenty of moms of only boys that are tired of the types of play boys generally enjoy (I know this isn't an absolute, but true for them), or just want to buy cute girl things.

    Idk, after reading about how RBG fought for justice, Sapling decided to grab her ninja sword so she could fight for justice too, apparently by defending RGB from monsters (maybe I should have waited for her to sleep before playing Monster Hunter...)((I get that you said its not an absolute, I just thought it was cute and wanted to share.))

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  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I am definitely my mom's kid.

    Like, my dad taught me a lot, and he's the reason I'm into reading and videogames and stuff

    but my personality and thought processes and looks, even, are all my mom.

  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    mrpaku wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    I've got zero sympathy for parents who say they are tired with three or more kids.

    You knew how this works.

    I keep trying to figure out a tasteful, not personal way to write "Gatekeeping how tired I'm allowed to be, based on how many kids you *think* I should have had, is really shitty behavior", and failing miserably

    I wasn't gatekeeping? Have as many or as few kids as you want and talk about it's impact on your life as much or as little as you want to. I, however,
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    I also really just want to put this somewhere: I freakin’ LOVE T’s daycare.

    It’s not particularly fancy - it’s actually in a lower socioeconomic zone than where we live, they don’t track a lot of data that other daycares track, their facilities aren’t particularly modern, and every so often when you arrive in the morning, things can feel a little bit hectic. It’s completely, diametrically opposed to how I like to run things - I am not someone that is known for going with the flow so much as I am someone who exhausts every other flow-opposing option before SURRENDERING to the flow. I had my guard up because of this - I’d heard lots of other daycares track everything from the amount and types of food eaten during the day to times for sleep, whereas I’m lucky if ours give us an accurate account of when she slept.

    But, folks. I. Love. It.

    I think it’s exactly because it’s different to how I run things. It’s been heartwarming and reassuring to see T love such a different way of doing things, and, beyond that, absolutely flourishing in that environment.

    She loves everyone there. It took her a bit to get settled but once she figured out that everyone wearing a specific polo shirt was a staff member, she was so much more comfortable. She’s formed attachments with staff in pretty much all the rooms in the centre. She’s actually excited when she sees that we’re in the parking lot at drop-off, appropriately demurred when we leave, and then excited again to see us at the end of the day. Blake does most pickups and says she basically babbles to him the entire car ride home, we presume about her day. She is clearly learning HEAPS - she’ll come back with new sounds and new words (both sign and verbal) and new skills literally overnight… her vocabulary has doubled in the last two months, and her comprehension is just blowing my mind. Like her brain is getting the stimulation it needs there.

    I love it. I’m so happy we went with something so different to what we have at home. (We actually chose it over a couple of other options specifically because it has a huuuuge outdoor play area while we don’t have much of a yard ourselves.)

    Like I’m not gonna change how I do things. It’s gotten me this far and I’ve accepted my flaws as necessary counterweights to my strengths. It’s just so freakin’ awesome to know definitively that we didn’t make the wrong call in at least one aspect of her life. It’s awesome.

    I’ll be so sad when it has to end in a few years’ time. I know greater things await but gosh I might feel the loss even more acutely than she does when the time comes.

    This is so cool to read. I've seen similar be benefits with our daycare, though they seem to feel the need to track a ton of stuff. The were flabbergasted when I said no dietary restrictions. I was like just feed the kid? Let us know if she has allergic reactions?

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    Brody wrote: »
    schuss wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    This is how you end up with multiples, at least in the case of one couple we're friends with.

    One of my nieces has 3 sons. She just got pregnant again trying for a girl...and got another son. :biggrin:

    Trying for a specific gender is utterly alien to me. Is that a common thing?

    Anecdotally, I feel like I hear about it happening a lot.

    Because, to some extent, each parent (in a man/woman pair) would like a child that's closer to them genetically. I know plenty of moms of only boys that are tired of the types of play boys generally enjoy (I know this isn't an absolute, but true for them), or just want to buy cute girl things.

    Idk, after reading about how RBG fought for justice, Sapling decided to grab her ninja sword so she could fight for justice too, apparently by defending RGB from monsters (maybe I should have waited for her to sleep before playing Monster Hunter...)((I get that you said its not an absolute, I just thought it was cute and wanted to share.))

    That's the thing - we have the same thing going on that Depressperado mentioned - my son is more my wife and my daughter is more me.

    Also - that's awesome - my daughter has a famous picture she made that had this conversation attached:
    Me: what's that?
    Her: A BIRD!
    Me: What are those things?
    Her: Snakes! They're going to eat the bird! *cackling*

    Pretty sure she's going to be a supervillain.

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