My life is emptying the chamber pot and wiping up urine
And it's not even for the same person. One is my MiL, who has severe dementia and peed on the bathroom floor. I guess I should be glad I'm not her primary care giver. The chamber pot I'd rather not say specifically who. Suffice to say we live together and the chamber pot is a not a temporary deal. This is a permanent fixture of both our lives.
I know "I didn't sign up for this" is lame whining because nobody signs up for the bullshit life inevitably gives us all but ffs I did not sign up for this. How in the hell have I wound up being the caretaker for multiple adults? How have I wound up so alone in dealing with this? Nobody is coming to help me with these responsibilities. I shouldn't have these responsibilities.
I don't think there is any specific advice I'm asking for. If you have any I'll gladly listen, though. Mainly I just need somewhere to vent this. I am seeing a psychiatrist and therapist.
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Edi: And now I've teared up a bit. Feels good.
I work in healthcare and there's a reason caregiver is a job that is full time and always in demand. You need a break.
When my father died and I ended up having to take care of my parents estate and the finances for my mom. I had no idea what to do! So i got myself a notebook and just started calling people and asking for help. I was amazed at how many people are willing to help if you are nice and just say you don't know what you don't know but you need to get this thing done. One call leads to the next. You get a bit of information, then the next call and you learn more and get a new contact and within a few minutes there is a solution to your problem that you did not even think was possible an hour ago!
There is help out there if you ask nicely and are persistent.
You may find that there is money available to help you, people that will come in and back you up. Systems in place to ensure that these people that you love enough to help them in their most vulnerable time are cared for when you are down yourself. Plus support systems to ensure that you stay up and positive! I wish you the best!
Caring for the elderly and infirm is a difficult and thankless job. But it's better than the alternative of letting them wander into the woods to die. My mom was the primary caregiver for my Grandfather during the last 8 years of his life. Towards the end it got pretty bad and it made her life very difficult. I didn't really have to deal with it every day but I know how you feel. It fucking sucks.
No thanks will give you the time or energy you invest back but it's a profound and moral thing you're doing.
Even if it's unsatisfying and hard sometimes, appreciate that you're doing a good thing and deserve to want rest once in a while.
You can't care for anyone if you burn out. You get to be frustrated and unhappy sometimes, there's nothing wrong with that.