God I hate night shift. It makes me feel like a lonely, disassociative.... phantom? Like I'm just nooooot quite there, existing in the rest of society's peripheral vision.
Maybe this sugar free, Ultra Fiesta Mango Monster™️ Brand energy drink will make me feel better.
My problem is I exist within a liminal realm bereft of intimacy and a sense of permanence not a lack of energy that can conveniently be found in a hearty bowl of sodium free Quaker®️ Old Fashioned Oats made of 100% whole grains with 2 grams of soluble fiber per serving that may help reduce the risk of heart disease!
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited April 2022
"There is an idea of a Juggernut; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there."
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
sometimes I'll remember that I continue to exist in people's thoughts and memories long after we've encountered each other and it makes me have to take a nap
But how much do you think about other people? I can't remember classmates and I spent 7 years seeing them nearly every day.
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited April 2022
it's like... like I don't like being known, or, god forbid, that someone have an actual opinion of me.
I actually worry about it here a lot, haha. this is the largest social group I'm a part of, and I consider you peers or cohorts or contemporaries. It's why I always appear so effortlessly charming and urbane in my posts. it's a lot of work making sure you're, at the very least, not disliked.
I just want to live like the Silence.
when I'm around everybody's like, "oh yeah this guy" and then when I leave they're like "isn't there supposed to be 7 people here? weird."
I am engaged. It was fortuitous that the weekend was the dog's birthday, which provided a convenient excuse to go to the beach for a walk. We also stopped by the beach café and celebrated 18 months together and I gave her a nice necklace* which I treated as the surprise. Then we went for a walk and I asked her to marry me. So I hid the proposal behind the 18 month celebration which I hid behind the dog birthday. Very pleased with that, although it was entirely unnecessary. No ring, we're gonna get one made.
*the necklace, funny story, was accidentally flushed down the loo 4 days later. It's ok, insurance covered it and we've got a replacement that is just like it. But it's very funny as the last play that we were in, my character proposes to another and the ring is accidentally flushed down the toilet. Thank goodness this was only a necklace.
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Maybe this sugar free, Ultra Fiesta Mango Monster™️ Brand energy drink will make me feel better.
Update: it did not.
Why would you say this to me
I actually worry about it here a lot, haha. this is the largest social group I'm a part of, and I consider you peers or cohorts or contemporaries. It's why I always appear so effortlessly charming and urbane in my posts. it's a lot of work making sure you're, at the very least, not disliked.
I just want to live like the Silence.
when I'm around everybody's like, "oh yeah this guy" and then when I leave they're like "isn't there supposed to be 7 people here? weird."
*the necklace, funny story, was accidentally flushed down the loo 4 days later. It's ok, insurance covered it and we've got a replacement that is just like it. But it's very funny as the last play that we were in, my character proposes to another and the ring is accidentally flushed down the toilet. Thank goodness this was only a necklace.