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The [Bad Food] Thread is dead and gone forever

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I crave fried zucchini

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    knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Juggernut wrote: »
    Craft nitro keeps occasionally trying to become a Thing but so far it seems like the only time nitro really works is in beer and maaaaybe coffee.

    The only good nitro coffees I've personally ever had were from Starbucks, weirdly enough.

    Starbucks has kept their nitro coffee on the shelves so somebody must be buying it.

    I tried it once but apparently you're supposed to pour it into a cup to get the full effect which to me defeats the purpose of buying a single serving bottled drink in the first place

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    I've had the bottled ones and they're ok, but the actual shops have an honest to God nitro keg they push the coffee through and it's WAY better. Every other coffee shop that's had nitros just haven't been any good. I dunno if it's an equipment thing, like Starbucks can afford a boss daddy nitro keg or something?

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    MagellMagell Detroit Machine Guns Fort MyersRegistered User regular
    Juggernut wrote: »
    I've had the bottled ones and they're ok, but the actual shops have an honest to God nitro keg they push the coffee through and it's WAY better. Every other coffee shop that's had nitros just haven't been any good. I dunno if it's an equipment thing, like Starbucks can afford a boss daddy nitro keg or something?

    Its definitely an equipment thing. They'd need to first be able to bottle their drinks in a keg, then have a kegarator to pour it through, and get Nitrogen to feed the line and make it work so it's a pretty big investment.

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    GlalGlal AiredaleRegistered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    I crave fried zucchini
    Fuck, now so do I.

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Round 6: Burger Punk

    o1z2c14141oe.png

    Price: $13 with fries
    Topping and condiments: American cheese, romaine lettuce, dill pickle slices, punk sauce
    Decent local beer on tap: Elk Valley Magic Juice DIPA

    Burger Punk started out as a food truck in 2018 and opened up a brick-and-mortar location at the beginning of 2020. They survived lockdown by providing curbside and delivery from their more centrally-located sister restaurant, Revolucion Tacos. It's a fairly regular lunch stop for me on grocery shopping days, as it's conveniently located between my neighborhood grocery store and the spice shop. Plus, it's right next to the Paseo art district, which is a good neighborhood to walk off your burger when the weather's nice, and the music selection is pretty good.

    The OG Punk burger isn't a smash burger, but the patty is considerably thinner and wider than the thickburgers at Ludivine and Packard's, cooked medium with some faint pink in the middle. The punk sauce is your usual ketchup and mayo concoction, but with a significant cayenne kick to it. The pickles are made in-house and are delicious if you like a lot of dill in your pickle. The cheese is a good melter, but not terribly flavorful. The bun is a lovely glossy toasted white bun, more or less what a McDonald's bun wants to be when it grows up.

    Overall, I'd say the burger is well-balanced and more than the sum of its parts. The punk sauce compliments the pickles well and while the spice level starts out very mild, it builds up a persistent pleasant burn as the burger progresses. The fries are ordinary frozen crinkle-cuts, but they're significantly elevated by a cayenne seasoned salt that goes well with the sauce. The lettuce, for once, adds flavor as well as texture to the burger. If I have one criticism, it's that the combination of the grease, the sauce, and the rapidly wilting romaine make the last few bites sloppier and juicier than I ordinarily look for in a burger, and it can be hard to maintain the balance of ingredients as the structural integrity breaks down.

    There's not a huge gap in overall quality between Burger Punk and Tucker's, but when I'm in the mood for a burger I'm more likely to be craving something like the OG Punk. Onion burgers are good, but they're also a very specific mood.

    Current Rankings:
    1. Ludivine Wagyu Burger
    2. Burger Punk OG Punk Burger
    3. Tucker's Single Onion Burger with Cheese
    4. Packard's Burger
    5. McDonald's Big Mac
    6. Braum's Double Quarter-Pound Cheeseburger

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Oh man that looks a lot like the burgers at a great burger shack that used to be in Chapel Hill. RIP Al's.

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    DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    @Jedoc I am jealous of your burger survey

    I wish you well on your journey

    There is a local uh greasy spoon type place, that makes ok burgers, but they're always a bit dry

    There's a special "screamer" sauce that is sort of a spicy marina sauce that you can get on them, that's good

    They also fry their onions a certain way, kind of like the super fine onions from McDonald's

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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Oh also if you should end up in Wichita, you gotta hit Sport Burger on Hillside. Drive through and cash only (I think, it certainly used to be last time I was there several years ago).
    Absolutely no frills. Just a bog standard cheeseburger done perfectly.

    steam_sig.png
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Me: It's okay that I'm eating two to three burgers per week, because lunch this week is basically soylent green, and I'll come up with something healthy for dinners.

    Also me: Well, I was too lazy to go to the grocery store, where's that coupon for doner kebab pizza delivery?

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    ElaroElaro Apologetic Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Me: It's okay that I'm eating two to three burgers per week, because lunch this week is basically soylent green, and I'll come up with something healthy for dinners.

    Also me: Well, I was too lazy to go to the grocery store, where's that coupon for doner kebab pizza delivery?

    If it doesn't come from the people region of the Earth, it's not soylent green, it's just a sparkling bean-lentil slurry.

    Children's rights are human rights.
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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    The Bat Calzone is no longer available, and one shudders to imagine what culinary sins the fiends deep in the Little Caesar’s Pizza Dungeon are creating next.

    YL9WnCY.png
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    chaosbearchaosbear Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Round 6: Burger Punk

    o1z2c14141oe.png

    Price: $13 with fries
    Topping and condiments: American cheese, romaine lettuce, dill pickle slices, punk sauce
    Decent local beer on tap: Elk Valley Magic Juice DIPA

    Burger Punk started out as a food truck in 2018 and opened up a brick-and-mortar location at the beginning of 2020. They survived lockdown by providing curbside and delivery from their more centrally-located sister restaurant, Revolucion Tacos. It's a fairly regular lunch stop for me on grocery shopping days, as it's conveniently located between my neighborhood grocery store and the spice shop. Plus, it's right next to the Paseo art district, which is a good neighborhood to walk off your burger when the weather's nice, and the music selection is pretty good.

    The OG Punk burger isn't a smash burger, but the patty is considerably thinner and wider than the thickburgers at Ludivine and Packard's, cooked medium with some faint pink in the middle. The punk sauce is your usual ketchup and mayo concoction, but with a significant cayenne kick to it. The pickles are made in-house and are delicious if you like a lot of dill in your pickle. The cheese is a good melter, but not terribly flavorful. The bun is a lovely glossy toasted white bun, more or less what a McDonald's bun wants to be when it grows up.

    Overall, I'd say the burger is well-balanced and more than the sum of its parts. The punk sauce compliments the pickles well and while the spice level starts out very mild, it builds up a persistent pleasant burn as the burger progresses. The fries are ordinary frozen crinkle-cuts, but they're significantly elevated by a cayenne seasoned salt that goes well with the sauce. The lettuce, for once, adds flavor as well as texture to the burger. If I have one criticism, it's that the combination of the grease, the sauce, and the rapidly wilting romaine make the last few bites sloppier and juicier than I ordinarily look for in a burger, and it can be hard to maintain the balance of ingredients as the structural integrity breaks down.

    There's not a huge gap in overall quality between Burger Punk and Tucker's, but when I'm in the mood for a burger I'm more likely to be craving something like the OG Punk. Onion burgers are good, but they're also a very specific mood.

    Current Rankings:
    1. Ludivine Wagyu Burger
    2. Burger Punk OG Punk Burger
    3. Tucker's Single Onion Burger with Cheese
    4. Packard's Burger
    5. McDonald's Big Mac
    6. Braum's Double Quarter-Pound Cheeseburger

    I am legitimately in love with Burger Punk's Clash burger.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Riddle me this, Jedoc: What is a DIPA? Just a dark IPA?

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    SiliconStewSiliconStew Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Riddle me this, Jedoc: What is a DIPA? Just a dark IPA?

    Double IPA. More hops, more malt, more alcohol.

    Just remember that half the people you meet are below average intelligence.
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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I couldn't get fried zucchini but I am getting onion rings and chicago hot dogs from Portillo's so I'll count it as a win.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Also bitterer'n 99% cacao I reckon.

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Sterica wrote: »
    The Bat Calzone is no longer available, and one shudders to imagine what culinary sins the fiends deep in the Little Caesar’s Pizza Dungeon are creating next.

    Condiment King Pizza - XXL-sized pizza with whatever condiments you want.

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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    Also bitterer'n 99% cacao I reckon.

    Actually they tend to end up much more fruity and sweet because of the increased alcohol and malt.

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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Interesting. Reckon I might have to find one to give it a try.

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    Crippl3Crippl3 oh noRegistered User regular
    DIPA balls

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    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Didgeridoo wrote: »
    That would be soggy as fuck

    Someone did a taste test last night of one of the questionable ones
    erhp3so9u4og.png

    you bring this up and say a taste test was done and not mention the results?

    how COULD you

    wY6K6Jb.gif
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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Didgeridoo wrote: »
    That would be soggy as fuck

    Someone did a taste test last night of one of the questionable ones
    erhp3so9u4og.png

    you bring this up and say a taste test was done and not mention the results?

    how COULD you

    People have been testing the Mac n cheese and pizza with one or two bites it's a 5 dollar half pint carton

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    QuantumTurkQuantumTurk Registered User regular
    Ironically if you would like a differently bitter ipa you might try to find a black IPA, which is dark from roasted malts. I find they tend to roast the malt a little darker than they would for a porter or stout so it can get some malt bitterness to it. Still good tho, and I haven't had a super bitter one, it seems more like a neat option instead of going with more hops.

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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    It's me I'm the weirdo who doesn't enjoy carbonation. A big part of why I prefer ales over lager is they are less fizzy. I will tolerate it in a gin and tonic. But sodas are physically uncomfortable for me to drink.

    My daughter refers to soda water as “spicy water”.

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    JimBobtheMonkeyJimBobtheMonkey Registered User regular
    Jedoc have you ever tried Spangles? They really only exist here in Wichita with like 3 locations in a couple towns north, but didn't know if you ever got up this way. I'd like to hear your burgpinions on them.
    The family that runs them apparently are real assholes though.

    I have no problem endorsing Spangles (the food, not the owners). When I was working and in school I would go there most Mondays for half priced burger nights and get a double chili cheeseburger and make other bad choices. The seasoned fries are new since I moved away but they are a nice treat too. After Taco John's, Spangles is near the top of the list of fast food I wish was closer than 100 miles from me.

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    V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    It's me I'm the weirdo who doesn't enjoy carbonation. A big part of why I prefer ales over lager is they are less fizzy. I will tolerate it in a gin and tonic. But sodas are physically uncomfortable for me to drink.

    My daughter refers to soda water as “spicy water”.

    I kind of miss being a kid when drinking carbonated drinks was an almost painfully intense experience, in a very similar way to how eating spicy food is now.

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    DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    when I was in junior high, I stopped at wawa and got myself a liter bottle of coke on my way in, for later

    my homeroom teacher wouldn't let me in the room with it because he was a fascist piece of shit (unrelated), so I stood there and drank an entire liter of coke at once. it was so fucking carbonated, I was actually crying a little as I slurped the last of that sizzling sweetjuice down my ruined throat

    after that, I burped at him, and yelled "KOBE!" and threw the bottle past him, where it landed in his trash can

    I got a detention for being disrespectful

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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    It's me I'm the weirdo who doesn't enjoy carbonation. A big part of why I prefer ales over lager is they are less fizzy. I will tolerate it in a gin and tonic. But sodas are physically uncomfortable for me to drink.

    My daughter refers to soda water as “spicy water”.

    Me and your daughter are clearly on the same level

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    V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Therapods of a feather, so to speak

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    V1m wrote: »
    Blake T wrote: »
    It's me I'm the weirdo who doesn't enjoy carbonation. A big part of why I prefer ales over lager is they are less fizzy. I will tolerate it in a gin and tonic. But sodas are physically uncomfortable for me to drink.

    My daughter refers to soda water as “spicy water”.

    I kind of miss being a kid when drinking carbonated drinks was an almost painfully intense experience, in a very similar way to how eating spicy food is now.

    I can get the experience again if I try to drink Barqs root beer

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    AtheraalAtheraal Registered User regular
    I tried dill pickles on pizza, it was good! I went heavy on the toppings, partially because of not trusting the pickles, but also because deep dish cast iron pizza can handle it: Pickles, hot sauce, bell peppers, onions, pepperoni, ham, and gouda/jack/mozza

    Might try it alongside fewer backup toppings sometime!

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    BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    I got a detention for being disrespectful

    He was just intimidated and jealous.

    No matter where you go...there you are.
    ~ Buckaroo Banzai
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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    when I was in junior high, I stopped at wawa and got myself a liter bottle of coke on my way in, for later

    my homeroom teacher wouldn't let me in the room with it because he was a fascist piece of shit (unrelated), so I stood there and drank an entire liter of coke at once. it was so fucking carbonated, I was actually crying a little as I slurped the last of that sizzling sweetjuice down my ruined throat

    after that, I burped at him, and yelled "KOBE!" and threw the bottle past him, where it landed in his trash can

    I got a detention for being disrespectful

    And then everyone applauded, right?

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    mostly I just tried not to throw up and suppressing burps gave me the hiccups

    it was hard work, maintaining my reputation as "that kid that's an asshole to teachers"

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    DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    god I sucked when I was a kid. I was a jerk and a bully and my inherent distrust of people in authority and some real cut off my nose to spite my face stubbornness made school a nightmare for both me and pretty much anyone who had to deal with me.

    but hey what about school lunches weren't they the worst?

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    they were.

    BahamutZERO.gif
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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Me: It's okay that I'm eating two to three burgers per week, because lunch this week is basically soylent green, and I'll come up with something healthy for dinners.

    Also me: Well, I was too lazy to go to the grocery store, where's that coupon for doner kebab pizza delivery?

    What's their delivery radius? Please tell me it's 200 miles.

    steam_sig.png
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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    god I sucked when I was a kid. I was a jerk and a bully and my inherent distrust of people in authority and some real cut off my nose to spite my face stubbornness made school a nightmare for both me and pretty much anyone who had to deal with me.

    but hey what about school lunches weren't they the worst?

    I did kind of a retrospective of how I acted as a high schooler some time ago, and the only teachers I was a "dick" to were the ones I read, basically immediately, as the kind of petty tyrants that shouldn't be in teaching in the first place. Mostly corroborated by talking to friends of mine that went to the same school and had the same teachers, though likely a couple were misreads. Though I was always a massive kid in school, and would as often as I could use my size to intimidate bullies into leaving nerds the fuck alone.

    Also I still occasionally crave those fucking dogshit school cafeteria pizzas, and I absolutely should not and I have no idea why I do.

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I crave not the pizzas but those powdery flour calzones with super greasy insides? Yes.

This discussion has been closed.