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Hi, Bad Joke Thread, I'm Dad

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    Rhesus Positive wrote: »
    spono wrote: »
    The Geek wrote: »
    How about a riddle?

    If an airplane carrying American citizens leaves Canada and crashes in Iceland, where would the survivors be buried?
    Under the wreckage of tons of mangled metal.
    You don't bury the survivors! Bad geek!
    He wasn't asking where you buried them

    The plane cares naught for the vital status of its cargo
    I think maybe I could extend the punchline a bit to make it clearer. Perhaps something like, "Under the wreckage of tons of mangled metal, screaming for help."
    Trapped under the wreckage and bodies, screaming for help.

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    klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.
    The priest says "I'm a type A", the minister says "I'm a type B", the rabbit says "I'm a typo".

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Do you think Bill Nighy has ever called himself The Science Guyhee?

    BLM - ACAB
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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    avru0ilm1fcl.png

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Robert Khoo wrote: »
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    Why is Cinderella so bad at football?
    She's always running away from the ball.

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
    *gagging noises*

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Glass slipper?

    I hardly know her!

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    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    If you're a UPS driver, does that mean you went pro in ding dong ditch?

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    AngelHedgie wrote: »
    If you're a UPS driver, does that mean you went pro in ding dong ditch?

    Fuck


    fuck

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    59hw0jii4ozp.jpeg

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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    edited May 2023
    b1w97p64xs5n.png

    Orca on
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    What happens when a sunbeam breaks the law?
    It gets sent to prism.
    It has to serve a light sentence.

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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    hmm, that makes me wonder

    do I consider any water that isn't carbonated 'flat'? or is it only water that was carbonated and lost its carbonation?

    I think it's the latter, although I can't totally explain why

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    FlarneFlarne Registered User regular
    Houk the Namebringer wrote: »
    hmm, that makes me wonder

    do I consider any water that isn't carbonated 'flat'? or is it only water that was carbonated and lost its carbonation?

    I think it's the latter, although I can't totally explain why

    Carbonated water goes flat

    Regular water is still. It never goes anywhere.

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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Flarne wrote: »
    Houk the Namebringer wrote: »
    hmm, that makes me wonder

    do I consider any water that isn't carbonated 'flat'? or is it only water that was carbonated and lost its carbonation?

    I think it's the latter, although I can't totally explain why

    Carbonated water goes flat

    Regular water is still. It never goes anywhere.

    Even if it evaporates it's still there.

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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    brbhxtviuheu.jpeg

    I finally found a store that isn’t out of it

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    chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    One day, a donkey fell down a hole. The farmer didn't know how to help the donkey, so he decided to bury him. The donkey felt dirt land on his back. He shook it off and stomped it down. The farmer kept shoveling, so the donkey continued to shake and stomp. And so it continued, which was unfortunate because it attracted Shai-Hulud, the might sandworm of Arrakis, may his passing cleanse the world.

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    The donkey of one of Nasrudin's friends died, and so the man got into the habit of borrowing Nasrudin's donkey every few days. Nasrudin grew tired of this, and so when his friend came and asked to borrow the donkey Nasrudin claimed he had already lent it to someone else for the day. At that moment, the donkey began braying loudly from the courtyard. Seeing the look on his friend's face, Nasrudin said, "I refuse to deal with a man who takes the word of a donkey over the word of a friend" and closed the door on him.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    pyfk8nkr2ux6.jpeg

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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    .... I'll allow it

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    hmhdvnwojgkm.jpeg

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2023
    Someone should invent an air freshener activated by telekinesis.

    If you think about it, it makes scents.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    Someone should invent an air freshener activated by telekinesis.

    If think about it, it makes scents.

    rjw73odytq4o.jpeg

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    klemmingklemming Registered User regular

    Rik Worth is a comics creator & author.
    Actually, Frankenstein is the name of the scientist. The name of the monster is Creature_Final_FINAL (this one!)(3)

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Why didn’t you recognize the vegetarian girl?
    Because you never met herbivore.

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    My last poop was so intense

    I was on the edge of my seat

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
    Because if they had four doors, they’d be chicken sedans.

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
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    klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    What do you call a fish with three eyes?
    A fiiish.

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
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    Andy JoeAndy Joe We claim the land for the highlord! The AdirondacksRegistered User regular

    XBL: Stealth Crane PSN: ajpet12 3DS: 1160-9999-5810 NNID: StealthCrane Pokemon Scarlet Name: Carmen
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    Raiden333Raiden333 Registered User regular
    What would you call it when Dwayne Johnson gets into scrapbooking?
    Rock, Paper, Scissors

    There was a steam sig here. It's gone now.
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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    7belltd0q0z2.jpg

    Science is not immune to bad jokes

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    TynnanTynnan seldom correct, never unsure Registered User regular
    Ringo wrote: »
    https://us.v-cdn.net/5018289/uploads/editor/3l/7belltd0q0z2.jpg

    Science is not immune to bad jokes

    Drosophila geneticists have entered the chat

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    BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    Tynnan wrote: »
    Ringo wrote: »
    https://us.v-cdn.net/5018289/uploads/editor/3l/7belltd0q0z2.jpg

    Science is not immune to bad jokes

    Drosophila geneticists have entered the chat

    igotthatreferece.gif

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
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    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    tigduvq9zijj.jpg
    My roommate is fuming at me for showing them this

    Just like the Cyclops at Delphi told me!

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
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    Andy JoeAndy Joe We claim the land for the highlord! The AdirondacksRegistered User regular

    XBL: Stealth Crane PSN: ajpet12 3DS: 1160-9999-5810 NNID: StealthCrane Pokemon Scarlet Name: Carmen
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    joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    b7vu46gvh2iu.jpeg

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    honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Ringo wrote: »
    7belltd0q0z2.jpg

    Science is not immune to bad jokes

    With a second joke in there, literally: Scherz is German for joke.

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    facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    euel1qc4kahk.png

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Robert Khoo wrote: »
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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    ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    edited May 2023
    "On my.world it means loss."
    g40zesk3mpud.jpg

    Tox on
    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
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    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    "On my.world it means loss."
    g40zesk3mpud.jpg

    6cso2nv8pt35.png

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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