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It's a [Kids] World. [Parents] Just Live in It
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Thank you for your kind words everyone.
We came Monday evening. First night was rough but we've surprised ourselves with how quickly we've hit our stride and how quickly everything we learned from our first came flooding back.
My wife is now on a low dosage of antibiotics for at least 2 years.
First round of vaccinations next week.
The letter the hospital sent to the GP worked and they rang us. Quite efficient and joined up for the NHS!
Seems like it's mainly bacterial infections that could be very dangerous for my wife which are thankfully less common.
No evidence COVID is made worse by a lack of spleen.
She's so incredible, everything she's been through yet she's still kicking arse as a mum.
Mentally I'm struggling, I can't thinka bout the hospital without a low grade panic attack. I'm looking to refer myself for therapy.
Fortunately I can work from home but I'll be expected in the office at some point and the thought of that is terrifying. I think what scared me the most was my wife not knowing where we all were in the hospital when she woke from her operation.
Fortunately a midwife watched my twins for 10 mins whilst I ran up to her floor to bring her a phone on the Saturday morning.
Hard to articulate my feelings.
Just the thought of losing her was terrifying.
Didn't help on the Saturday when we were reunited they brought us to the room I waited in whilst she had her emergency operation and I had no idea of she would live.
Broke down in tears multiple times.
Sorry for rambling.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
...Which was apparently Math class getting to watch Frozen as some sort of reward, Elsa's theme song coming on, and my teenager "oh, fuck this"-ing so loudly out of the classroom that it became an event
And I'm torn exactly halfway between "dude, you know better than to behave like that in public, even if you're provoked", and "honestly, if I had to hear it one more f***ing time, I'd probably lose my shit and walk into the ocean, too"
This morning everyone was enjoying funny Tiktik videos with momma around the couch, and at some point you can almost hear the *click* in his head as he starts getting jealous that something else is providing people entertainment. So the clown act comes out, and he's throwing everything at the wall, just short of breaking plates over his head and smashing pies into his face. And today the family is just collectively like...no? We want to watch some videos...we've all seen the clown act, a million times at least, and are bored by it right now, dude. Watch some puppies riding turtles
And getting that direct feedback from four people, instead of listening at all, he just triples down and is basically yelling over the video for our attention, and when he calmly gets sent to his room after like four separate warnings, acts like the world has collectively kicked over his sandcastle
And the real frustrating thing today specifically was watching it dawn on him that's what he's seeking is negative attention, and then driving off that cliff anyway, like it was a compulsion. For as much as he didn't want to go to his room, you could tell him getting sent up was like a sneeze releasing, where he's like, "woo! Someone looked at me-so, worth it!", and I find that pretty concerning
4th grade, 9-but-just-about-to-be-10, IEP for speech and social but in the 90th+% on his school grades, Middle Child but has at least three local peers he gets to spend independent time with pretty regular (once/twice/thrice a month) during time apart (occasion joined by) his brothers, at least once to twice a week where he gets 1-2+ hours alone with mom/dad, and a rotating "just for me" weekend at the grandparents which is two hours away
This morning he wanted to play a short card game, so we agreed to first get dressed and then we could play a round. When my alarm went off to brush our teeth and put on our shoes he just went full on dumb. He said he still had to eat breakfast, he suddenly noticed a stain on his hoodie, he started to play with his toys, he eventually showed up to brush his teeth while he still had food in his mouth. He forgot that I always tell him to first clean his mouth with water. When I scolded him for being tardy he was convinced that he was in fact rushing. Immediately followed by trying to go back to his room. My partner and I got so frustrated and angry, I told him every minute he would be late, would be another day without screens.
When we finally got on our bike and cycled to school he also seemed incapable to understand that I regretted playing a card game with him. I had calmed down a bit and tried to remind him of the time we went to school on time and we even had some time to look at flowers. He remembered that, but it felt like he could not connect his own behaviour to why both his parents were angry with him.
My 11yo told a girl he liked her yesterday (at the behest of all his friends peer pressure) and she might have mumbled she likes him back (at the behest of all her friends peer pressure).
I am not prepared for this. I thought I'd have more time. I don't know where this slick motherfucker got his riz from, because I was still learning girls fucking... existed as people when I was 11.
There is not enough alcohol in the house for me to cope with this shit.
11? Just laugh about it and file it away to tease him about later.
They'll probably break up tomorrow and next week they'll add each other on Brawl Stars.
Just let them have their fun, it's fine.
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197970666737/
I'm gonna have to disagree pretty strongly on this. Fishman's kid probably hasn't just met the love of his life, but a first love/crush can be a huge deal for someone, especially a developing adolescent (and especially a certain type of adolescent). You're learning about romantic pursuit, and boundaries, and rejection, and trying to care about someone besides yourself for the first real time, IMO
My 13 year old has had a big ol' crush on the same girl since we moved here for going on like, three years now. They "dated" for exactly a week after he got up the courage to "ask her out", but she broke it off because she "didn't like him like that". But, their social circles cross all the time now in and out of school, my guy still carries a bit of a torch, and it's good to see him have to handle that, and learn to be good friends with her anyway. I think those are invaluable lessons for a young guy to have to learn
And I think he lets me in on all this info still since he trusts me with it, because I've tried to treat it with the respect he thinks it deserves. I do not think he'd confide in me that way at thirteen if I was teasing him or not taking his feelings seriously. Maybe in twenty years it'll be a funny story for us both, that crush he had in elementary/middle school, but right now it can feel like the whole world to a kid
When I say file it away to tease him about later, I mean when he's an adult. I have a 13 year old son, I've gone through all of this with him.
I like having them both on my chest, one either side of head, surround sound!
my first relationship was an opportunity for me to tease my dad about it.
She can handle a mobile phone no problems, but that's only for looking at photos on my wife's or mine phone or a bit or for selecting audiobooks or music to listen too or for a bit of streaming for travelling mostly.
So I'm kinda looking for a way to maybe start with a tablet before she starts school, and some advice for products, parental controls, learning apps and some advisory resources?
Not after lunch and gym!!!
We just use ipads with home rules+screentime rules on them (all but reading app is cutoff after 7PM for example). All app store stuff requires approval. It works pretty well if you're willing to be on the ball with it.
Wouldn't that be nice?
Amazon Fire Kids tablets are pretty great. Buying the year of content (Amazon kids+) is kind of necessary but the parental controls are really good, you can control how much time your child has in which category of app (books, games, media) and it's completely gated away from the Internet and the big foam cover for the tablet that it comes with renders it pretty much indestructible. The tablet itself usually lasts 12-18 months, Fire tablets being what they are, but they used to throw in one free replacement with no questions asked, I don't know if they still do. My younger child had one from when she was 4 to 8ish and she was happy with it and we were really happy with it.
Edit: Amazon Kids+ is basically a walled garden of games, e-books, music, and kids shows that the kid's tablet has unlimited access to. They kill the monetization in the games so there's no issue there and all you need to worry about as a parent is clearing space for them once in a while when they download too much stuff and explaining why their tablet doesn't have YouTube, level of dishonesty is up to you.
If you want a tablet for general entertainment, be sure to learn the parental controls and how to easily access them. Set up limits early so they become just a part of the experience. We did like some of the learning apps, especially some of the learning-to-read apps, as it helped with phonemic awareness for them to hear it. But it's been a while, so I don't know what's currently good, but we did like Endless ABC and Endless Reader. My daughter was responsible enough for an iPad, but my son got the more sturdy Amazon Fire. He can do enough of what he wants to do on it.
Even under the umbrella of “kids stuff” there is a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t really appropriate.
Satans..... hints.....
I'm in no hurry to get her more access to screens, but it's nice to get a few more points of view
If that's what your district uses too, then an iPad or Kindle Fire are less useful for preparing them specifically for school usage. Still useful, just less so.
He's not one to use a screen all day anyways, he gets bored of them and moves on to something else, but I don't limit his screen time mainly because we just have a set night schedule. He gets a bath at a certain time, eats dinner at a certain time, gets a story at a certain time, and then it's time for bed, every night, like literal clockwork (there are alarms set on my phone for each thing). He loves, even demands order and things working by the schedule, and when they don't he gets squirrely, but when it comes to free time, he's just as likely to randomly choose toys over the "Minecraft pad".
Basically, when it comes to him and screens, I don't feel any need to set strict rules around the screens themselves.
glad I'm not them, sounds miserable
Yep, my kids only see youtube/videos when I or my wife show them to them or we set it to a channel like the draw-alongs. I don't think they've missed out on anything as a result. I did have my son introduce me to Shreksophone that a friend showed him, so they're getting more exposure these days.
He'd probably like to do more Minecraft videos and things of that nature, but aside from things like Parkour Civilization (obviously the pinnacle of the genre) I'm very wary of letting him just go through those channels on his own.
It's no hard or fast rule, but my hunch is the longer to can keep acutely developing brains from THE ALGORITHM, the better you're off.
I am in the same boat and those people can go fuck themselves
Will they ever get a picture of their kids as good as this? No, no they will not.
What a lovely picture!
Thanks everyone, made me a feel a lot better!
In laws are arriving today.
You may remember me posting about my mother in law 5 years ago when she came to visit after our older son was born.
She wanted to smoke in the house amongst other things.
Hopefully it goes better this time! At least they're not actually staying in our house this time so we'll have some space.
I'm...extremely glad they never followed up. We made plans for trick or treating with some other good friends, but had finally got the followup message from that first friend saying they were going to the Mall for a trick or treat event thing there and did they want to join (it was raining pretty much all night long.)
Some time during that 3 hour event there was a shooting in the food court, killing 1 and injuring 2 others, and they're still at large.