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just uploaded my first webcomic
overbyte
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
i'd love it if you guys would come take a look.
overbyte on
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it feel akward without a boarder, and the crop of the santa robot is not good. i didn't realize that was a table behind him.
as far as the style of the character himself...i like the body, but not the face. i know it sounds weird, but i like the legs and shoes best.
apologies for the link - i completely forgot to check when i submitted my first artwork (thanks for the edit)
i might be turning this into a thread of how not to do webcomics but i do appreciate the honest feedback
i'm still playing with the format but i get that the lack of panels is a little... odd. I quite like it but it's not that usual. I feel that the stark, white borders that a lot of people use are a little jarring on the net and a bit pointless as they're a hangover from paper comics but i could definitely look at a more structured approach, if not with the usual white borders.
The cut and paste was a time-saver, i'm afraid. I was messing about with the style and ran out of time. Next one should be a touch more animated.
The pose was more about how i was feeling about putting a webcomic up - not that relaxed at all really (notice the grip on the armchair handles and the overly wide-eyes)
thanks again
obie
the 'field is up and running - check it out
all very good points, but the white space is there for a reason, panel borders exists to direct the reader along the path of a comic, and the white space allows for a passage of time between comments, so it's not all happening at once, as where your scenario looks like two clones talking at the same time.
Some people have gotten away with alternative spacing and panel designs, and you should definately play around with it if it's something you're dead set on, but pannels work for a reason, and if you don't use them, you CANNOT cut and paste, because it really disorients the reader.
finally, your art is good, but you have two major problems with the anatomy.
1) you need to learn to draw a proper shoulder blade. In the first two sections the main narrator has a hunchback, not a "relaxed shoulder". This is just the way it looks, plain and simple. You've exaggerated that even further in the last section by having it dynamically jut out past his head. Comic anatomy or not, this is not how the human body works. Other than that the feet and hands and villain in the final piece look good.
2) Your narrator's facial expressions closely mimic down's syndrome in my opinion. once again, less the "relaxed" image you're going for, and more static. The expressions on the bad guy are good, although unless he too is breaking the fourth wall he should be looking at the narrator. The narrator needs more life in his face though.
You've got a lot of potential there. As far as the meta comic goes, I'm a fan of PVP, and deadpool, so I have no problems with breaking the fourth wall, but I agree you should wait a little while to do it.
yeh - this is much-needed drawing time for me so the anatomy problems definitely present. This should get better over time.
no forth-wall gags next week, promise
the 'field is up and running - check it out
Look at the guy that does girl genius. Or look at Moog here in the AC, with his creation Tanzt.
You should spend the next few comics introducing your characters in their environment, and definately have some different genders, maybe even different species (Note: i'm not a fan of animal-people, but that's just me, I like animals that think though, garfield style)
the 'field is up and running - check it out
Semi-autobiographical? You have a wisecracking smoking santa robot who violently smashes your face when you talk to the camera? Doesn't that get awkward on first dates and holidays?
My advice? Seriously: START OVER. I'm not trying to be mean. But you are off to a very bad start. I would do many many comics and try to improve. I would advise you not to publish anything on your domain for a while. Do some comics, let them sit, go back and see if YOU still like them. If you don't, the chances of other people liking them are slim.
Start a blog, keep it going for a month or two, with daily updates. Do a podcast, get used to schedule, and before you start your comic, try to be twenty or so strips ahead of the game so you've got some room to breathe.
people arent very interesting.
this is reflected by the amount of actual comic book comics are about the wirter/artist.
http://puncturedscrotum.deviantart.com
Try getting clothes in your size...
I've found some of the more interesting comics to be daily journal comics.
you have no idea, mate
if you read the about thefield section, there's a lot of myself and my friends in the characters - readers of strips like machall.com/threepanelsoul.com and their ilk would get this - characters based on the people involved and drawing from a pool of experience but plenty of scope for just messing about with the characters as well - the guy everyone keeps calling robot santa (why oh why didn't i go for the blue shirt) is actually based on a large mate of mine who i've been drawing as a robot for a couple of years - no idea why.
Thanks for pointing out where i've been going wrong all these years
the 'field is up and running - check it out
i have to say i agree with Crowleston on this one - machall was a firm favourite of mine and that was partly autobiographical - it started as a way for the artist, ian mcconville, to make fun of his friends - he used to post them on the door of his dorm at uni. For me, any writing that is done too far out of your experience will fall flat as you don't have any connection to the subject whereas when you write about stuff you know, you have an almost inexhaustible supply of material if you keep looking - look at seinfeld - that's about as personal as it gets - he even wrote an episode about people making a comedy series about his life - talk about post-modern.
That said - i love the artwork on your site
the 'field is up and running - check it out
i've been writing for over a year so i have that but you're right - when i get some rhythm going, i'm not stopping at a single comic, i'm doing several at a time.
Podcasting is maybe not something i'm interested in doing just yet - i have been posting to the blog but that gets interrupted by work (darnit!) although it has been pretty consistent (take a look at the link in my sig). The rest of the site is just what i do - it's an easy css update and a couple of plugins for wordpress to me
the 'field is up and running - check it out
yeh i completely understand this as a standpoint but the main reason for this comic was to draw and without the pressure of deadlines (something i understand as a print artworker / web designer for the last 15 years), i'm afraid i wouldn't have enough inclination to push myself - this way i will.
If the webcomic 'fails' it really won't be the end of the world for me - just a reason to go on to the next thing. The reason for posting and asking the opinion of the people on the board was more about getting the format straight. That's why i haven't opened a vein over some of the things people have said about it and have been able to take the geniune critiques (as opposed to the fashion tips) well enough to learn from them.
the 'field is up and running - check it out
that was dumb. you are dumb.
Keep on innovating zensaber, you're fucking amazing.
My Website | My "photo-a-day" 2010
it was unnecessarily cruel with no real purpose other than to prop up his obviously shaky self-esteem and the gags were hacked straight out of this thread and about a million lolcats posters...
... but funny nonetheless
the 'field is up and running - check it out
i've reposted the comic - although there are problems with the anatomy and perspective (the last panel is supposed to be in disarray - everything is getting flung around but it's not that well done), i felt that the face, duplication, frames and floating light did deserve addressing so here it is
Not a complete fix but enough for me to put it to rest
the 'field is up and running - check it out
the 'field is up and running - check it out
If you're dead set on not making your background and panel background different, try making the comic cover a full page and go lengthwise, then you can spread things out a little more, and maybe it will work better?
;oB
the 'field is up and running - check it out
no worries - i'm not going to do anything else to the structure of this comic but i've taken it into account for the next one. The table is wrong, i know this, it's because the original drawing was done in several parts (not a mistake i'm making again) so it's a bit bodged, i'm afraid.
I took what you were saying but drawing over my work uninvited and abusing it was just a bit rude. Banksy picks his targets a little better for that kind of treatment
the 'field is up and running - check it out
Pity the comic was so crummy.
His shoes look like huge shoe-shaped shoe-storage boxes.
Err, major problems here.
First: Gutters, use them! That's the little space between each panel in a comic. Without them it looks like one continuous image and can be very, very confusing to the reader.
The lighting makes absolutely no sense, a light that close should throw stronger shadows. It's also hard to see what exactly is causing the light - you need to make the lamp more clear. You color palette is also very desaturated and somewhat bland.
Second: Please, please, please, don't just copy and paste panels. Thankyou.
Third: Perspective is odd in all three of them, and in the last the side table appears to have hopped straight up in the air.
Overall, not bad, but there are still problems. Maybe if you posted some more of your work here we'd be able to help you with more general problems rather than just nitpicking one comic?
Ove
i started this thread in order to get some advice and feedback for my new comic but for every piece of constructive criticism i received (thanks amateurhour, crowleston and the one dark knight), i got 2 useless rehashes of other people's posts, 2 i'm-better-than-you ego posts and a you're rubbish, give up now post. I've had my comic defaced for cheap laughs, and apparently my fashion sense isn't up to snuff.
This really is one of the worst places on the internet to go for help getting started and i regret ever signing up
thanks for nothing
the 'field is up and running - check it out