I'm a Canadian citizen, currently attending university in Ontario. My boyfriend is an American citizen, a freelance web designer working out of his home in Illinois.
He wants to drive up to see me for my birthday. Just for a rather extended weekend, arriving on Thursday night, leaving on Tuesday or Wednesday. He has gas money in his wallet, he'll be packing lightly, he's going to stay at my parents' place with me for the first two nights, then I'm bringing him up to my university residence to spend a few nights here. (It's allowed, I don't share a room, he just needs to be checked in with the porter).
Here's the problem: he is absolutely terrified - half-convinced - that he will be turned away at the border. He was questioned the last time he crossed the border by car, the whole "Canadian girlfriend plus freelance occupation" thing apparently throws up some red flags, the border agents called his bank to see how much money he had, and then called my parents to confirm that they were willing to provide accomodation for him while he was in the country. So, he thinks it's going to happen again, and he thinks he's even more likely to be turned back this time - his financial situation is a bit leaner now than it was last time, and my parents themselves are out of the country. They know he's coming, and they're fine with it, but still, "I'm staying at my girlfriend's parents' house, but they're not there" is just another cape swung before the nose of the border bulls.
So... what, if anything, can I do to make his border crossing go smoothly? I have a cell phone, if he does get interrogated, they'll be calling me, and I'll be telling them that he's on the level. But what else can I do, or advise him to do? I suggested he print out copies of the latest invoices from his freelancing, and a copy of the most recent utility bill for his house, to show that he has financial ties to the US, but he doesn't think that would help. I know such a thing doesn't exist, but I wish there was a number I could just call to say "hey, my boyfriend is coming up from the US, he's cool, he's with me, just wave him through plz."
I mean, neither of us are stupid people. One of us will need to immigrate at some point, we know that, but... how fucking stupid would we need to be to try to do it illegally on the spur of the moment? He has no intention of staying longer than five or six days, and even if he did suffer a temporary lapse of sanity and say "Love, I'm not going back to America, let's get married now!", I would smack him upside the head and tell him to stop being a self-destructive idiot.
How I maek border crossing easy for my boyfriend?
I'm here to tell you about voting. Imagine you're locked in a huge underground nightclub filled with sinners, whores, freaks and unnameable things that rape pit bulls for fun. And you ain't allowed out until you all vote on what you're going to do tonight [. . .] So you vote for television, and everyone else, as far as your eye can see, votes to fuck you with switchblades. That's voting. You're welcome.