The First Thirty-Ninth Annual Phalla Awards
A long time ago, in a small kingdom off the coast of England called "Phalla" there lived an awards show host. This was no ordinary awards show host. Some might whisper of his magical powers, others might call him a wizard, but the king knew the man was a god. And this god traveled in time blah blah blah one fifth of the village were actually vampires blah blah blah some stuff happened and then the awards show started!
"The first award is a very special one to a lot of us, which is why the teleprompter is telling me to introduce it to you. It is entitled '
The First Thirty-Ninth Annual Phalla Award for the Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game', and it should be fairly self explanatory."
Here, the host stopped for a moment and squinted at the teleprompter.
"I've just been asked if I said goodbye to my wife this morning. Is this some sort of joke? I demand hurglghglhgl."
The magical unordinary immortal vampire god games host toppled over, a magical immortal-slaying vampire-killing god-destroying dart stuck in his neck. The people of Phalla were used to shenanigans like this and therefore unimpressed. They immediately began discussing nominations for the first award.
Rules (Real rules in bold.)
- Vote will close at 10 PM EST every day for a long, long time.
- Vote in lime. Nominate in red. Just don't retract in Lemon Chiffon.
- "Don't be inactive. I require two posts a day, including votes. I will not be culling the inactives on a daily basis, but I will get around to dealing with them eventually. If you can't be around on a given day, letting me know beforehand will increase your chances of avoiding my wrath. If you can't play anymore, let me know so I can find a replacement." (Note: not a real rule.)
- Role PMs may not be quoted, only paraphrased. Anonymous contact is prohibited. (Note: a real rule.)
- Any external boards that are created for the purpose of talking about this game must be posted and mocked.
- This is about roasting and toasting, not flaming and shaming.
- All actions are to be sent to thorgot. Clarification requests should be posted in the thread or PMed to the GM (thorgot). Questions about vote counts should probably be sent to MrBlarney.
- If you received a role PM, you have to participate. If you didn't receive a role PM, you have to participate. If you don't participate, you will regret it!
- I won't be able to come up with 35 narrations on my own, so various people will help me out. If you would like to be one of these people, PM or IM or post in the thread. Please.
- Games that are in progress may not be discussed. The instant a final narration is posted a game is fair game for voting, but until then pretend the current games do not exist.
Player List
Everybody who has ever played.
Narrator List
- thorgot
- Obbi
- precisionk
- visiblehowl
- Locus
- Gumpy
- Ardor
- cj iwakura
- Hylianbunny
- you??
Schedule
I currently have 35 awards to give out. If things are going particularly badly or well, I might add awards or skip over the less important awards. I have saved the most important awards for the end. Generally, each week will have the following, plus one extra, in roughly this order:
- Action Vote (Probably a single post or action, or at most several posts.)
- Player or Team Vote (A single player or group of players.)
- Games/Hosts/Rules/Roles (A specific game, narration, host, rule or role.)
- Games/Hosts/Rules/Roles #2 (A specific game, narration, host, rule or role.)
- Saturday: Joke Vote (But the results will be deadly serious. No nominations required.)
- Sunday: Joke Vote (The results may or may not be deadly serious. No nominations required.)
On most days, there will be both
!nominations and
!voting. Something must be
!nominated at least twice to be a vote option the next day. Keep discussion about what you are nominating to a minimum, to keep the focus on the voting. It is a probably a good idea to post a link to a post or two. If something wasn't nominated, but you really want to vote for it, do a write-in
!vote.
Posts
Sunday, May 4: Nominations for Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game.
Monday, May 5: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Veteran Play by a New Player.
Tuesday, May 6: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best or Closest Game Ending.
Wednesday, May 7: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Role(s) or Role PM(s).
Thursday, May 8: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Biggest Mistake by a Host in a Game.
Friday, May 9: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Proboard.
Saturday, May 10: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Least Repulsive Player.
Sunday, May 11: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Successful Gambit or Betrayal
Monday, May 12: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Single Night of Narration(s)
Tuesday, May 13: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Hilariously Overpowered Role
Wednesday, May 14: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Mentally Disturbing or Disturbed Narration or Post or Poster
Thursday, May 15: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Over the Top Player aka Best PrecisionK Imitation
Friday, May 16: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Likely to be Good and Most Likely to be Evil (two different awards)
Saturday, May 17: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Worst Role Claim or Reveal
Sunday, May 18: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Greatest Revenge
Monday, May 19: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Worst Game
Tuesday, May 20: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Worst Player
Wednesday, May 21: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Mini
Thursday, May 22: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Player
Friday, May 23: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Game
Sunday, May 25: Voting on the previous
Tuesday, May 27 Final narration
Award Winners
Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (The Lady Eri Award) : Lady Eri in Soviet Phalla
Most Veteran Play by a New Player (The Least Dumb New Guy Award) : delroland for winning A Song of Ice and Fire phalla as a solo neutral
Best or Closest Game Ending (The Traitors Unite Award): Space Station 13 for its conclusion
Best Role(s) or Role PM(s) (The GM Is Semisuicidal After Sixty Goddamn Individualized Role PMs Jesus Christ That Wasn't Worth It Award): Voyage to Phalla for The Cultist
Biggest Mistake by a Host in a Game (The Too-Easy-To-Name Award): Gumpy, revealing the name of a bad guy in TF2 Phalla
Best Proboard (The Mind-Raping Eye-Vomiting Color Scheme Award): Drez for the network of one
Least Repulsive Player (The Marginally Less Annoying Than The Rest Of Us Award): Freeagent
Most Successful Gambit or Betrayal (The Oh-Shit-He-Was-A-Traitor Award): thorgot and precisionk in Romance of the Two Kingdoms
Best Single Night of Narration(s) (The Bestselling Epic Poem Anthology As Narration Award): ElJeffe for the Phalliad
Most Hilariously Overpowered Role Award (The Oh-God-What-Was-The-GM-Thinking Award): Jake from Animorphs phalla
Most Mentally Disturbing Narration or Post: Mr. E's fanfic
Most Over the Top Player aka Best PrecisionK Imitation: Drez
Always Good (The "Who me, evil?" Award): Locus & Cantide
Always Evil (The "Who me, good?" Award): Plutonium
Worst Role Claim Award: Rainfall for Bluestreak
Worst Game (After Fencingsax's Games): Phallost (Squashua)
Worst Player: Xevo and Inactives
Memest Meme: Seriously?
Best Mini: Petshop, Monks on the Run, Gremlins, Seer
Best Player: TehSpectre
Best Game: Phalliad
Currently accepting Nominees for: Best Phalla!
Accepted Nominations
[*]phallopolis
[*]Phallanoia
[*]Phalliad
[*]Death Note
[*]Zodiac Phalla
[*]Insane Asylum Phalla
[*]Vampire: The Masquerade
[*]Ad Astra Per Phalla
[*]Battlestar Phallactica
Pending Nominations (Requires a second vote)
BONUS AWARD: Best Player who is also a mod
EDIT: Also, I suggest people come up with specific post links in the nomination process. You know, like a clip show declaring the nominees. Since this is about most hilarious blunder, examples of that blunder (and effects) are probably good to put in ones post.
I want a reward for singlehandedly killing every single other member of a game.
The hell do you guys keep a running list of dudes who have ever played in Phallas or some shit honestly I haven't touched one in a months
Great suggestion.
The murderer is wearing the green shirt.
So quite obviously the murderer is B:L.
This is true. He's one of several players who seem to have a permanent aura of evil around them.
It's when he's not causing a scene that you should worry the most.
Those kinda guys annoy me.
Rend decided to trust Hylianbunny blindly. Not only was Hylianbunny a Cultist, but he was a thrall as well. The kicker? Rend was the seer.
Also !nomination for the village in that game, for bandwagoning the Jester role even after thorgot (who was co-hosting) came as close as possible to telling them that they were making a huge mistake.
I think I was evil that game.
EDIT: And the harry potter phalla.
That wasn't funny, VH.
Munkus, you will always be the bestest guardian ever for trying to protect me during the Vampire phalla.
and getting killed on day 1?
Um...shit, I really don't know who to vote yet.
But I'm not evil
We died heroes.
My role PM called you out as evil actually. Sorry dude.
no it didn't
!Romantic Undead for being the sexiest lover ever in Battle Royale 1
I'm laughing so hard at this.
Granted that's not a single-player blunder, but I feel like it should be allowed.
Just realized this is a vote for something stupid, not something good.
Gonna vote !Hylianbunny For putting me on two evil teams simultaneously on the second attempt at the Heroes Phalla
For some reason I always thought it was Mr. E.
Whoooops