[Phalla]First Thirty-Ninth Annual Phalla Awards: Game Over (Wraith Victory)

thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
edited May 2008 in Critical Failures
The First Thirty-Ninth Annual Phalla Awards

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A long time ago, in a small kingdom off the coast of England called "Phalla" there lived an awards show host. This was no ordinary awards show host. Some might whisper of his magical powers, others might call him a wizard, but the king knew the man was a god. And this god traveled in time blah blah blah one fifth of the village were actually vampires blah blah blah some stuff happened and then the awards show started!

"The first award is a very special one to a lot of us, which is why the teleprompter is telling me to introduce it to you. It is entitled 'The First Thirty-Ninth Annual Phalla Award for the Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game', and it should be fairly self explanatory."

Here, the host stopped for a moment and squinted at the teleprompter.

"I've just been asked if I said goodbye to my wife this morning. Is this some sort of joke? I demand hurglghglhgl."

The magical unordinary immortal vampire god games host toppled over, a magical immortal-slaying vampire-killing god-destroying dart stuck in his neck. The people of Phalla were used to shenanigans like this and therefore unimpressed. They immediately began discussing nominations for the first award.

Rules (Real rules in bold.)
  • Vote will close at 10 PM EST every day for a long, long time.
  • Vote in lime. Nominate in red. Just don't retract in Lemon Chiffon.
  • "Don't be inactive. I require two posts a day, including votes. I will not be culling the inactives on a daily basis, but I will get around to dealing with them eventually. If you can't be around on a given day, letting me know beforehand will increase your chances of avoiding my wrath. If you can't play anymore, let me know so I can find a replacement." (Note: not a real rule.)
  • Role PMs may not be quoted, only paraphrased. Anonymous contact is prohibited. (Note: a real rule.)
  • Any external boards that are created for the purpose of talking about this game must be posted and mocked.
  • This is about roasting and toasting, not flaming and shaming.
  • All actions are to be sent to thorgot. Clarification requests should be posted in the thread or PMed to the GM (thorgot). Questions about vote counts should probably be sent to MrBlarney.
  • If you received a role PM, you have to participate. If you didn't receive a role PM, you have to participate. If you don't participate, you will regret it!
  • I won't be able to come up with 35 narrations on my own, so various people will help me out. If you would like to be one of these people, PM or IM or post in the thread. Please.
  • Games that are in progress may not be discussed. The instant a final narration is posted a game is fair game for voting, but until then pretend the current games do not exist.
Player List
    Everybody who has ever played.

Narrator List
  1. thorgot
  2. Obbi
  3. precisionk
  4. visiblehowl
  5. Locus
  6. Gumpy
  7. Ardor
  8. cj iwakura
  9. Hylianbunny
  10. you??

Schedule
I currently have 35 awards to give out. If things are going particularly badly or well, I might add awards or skip over the less important awards. I have saved the most important awards for the end. Generally, each week will have the following, plus one extra, in roughly this order:
  • Action Vote (Probably a single post or action, or at most several posts.)
  • Player or Team Vote (A single player or group of players.)
  • Games/Hosts/Rules/Roles (A specific game, narration, host, rule or role.)
  • Games/Hosts/Rules/Roles #2 (A specific game, narration, host, rule or role.)
  • Saturday: Joke Vote (But the results will be deadly serious. No nominations required.)
  • Sunday: Joke Vote (The results may or may not be deadly serious. No nominations required.)

On most days, there will be both !nominations and !voting. Something must be !nominated at least twice to be a vote option the next day. Keep discussion about what you are nominating to a minimum, to keep the focus on the voting. It is a probably a good idea to post a link to a post or two. If something wasn't nominated, but you really want to vote for it, do a write-in !vote.

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thorgot on
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Posts

  • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    History
    Sunday, May 4: Nominations for Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game.
    Monday, May 5: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Veteran Play by a New Player.
    Tuesday, May 6: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best or Closest Game Ending.
    Wednesday, May 7: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Role(s) or Role PM(s).
    Thursday, May 8: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Biggest Mistake by a Host in a Game.
    Friday, May 9: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Proboard.
    Saturday, May 10: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Least Repulsive Player.
    Sunday, May 11: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Successful Gambit or Betrayal
    Monday, May 12: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Single Night of Narration(s)
    Tuesday, May 13: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Hilariously Overpowered Role
    Wednesday, May 14: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Mentally Disturbing or Disturbed Narration or Post or Poster
    Thursday, May 15: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Over the Top Player aka Best PrecisionK Imitation
    Friday, May 16: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Most Likely to be Good and Most Likely to be Evil (two different awards)
    Saturday, May 17: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Worst Role Claim or Reveal
    Sunday, May 18: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Greatest Revenge
    Monday, May 19: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Worst Game
    Tuesday, May 20: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Worst Player
    Wednesday, May 21: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Mini
    Thursday, May 22: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Player
    Friday, May 23: Voting on the previous, and nominations for Best Game
    Sunday, May 25: Voting on the previous
    Tuesday, May 27 Final narration

    Award Winners
    trophyjq3.gif
    Most Hilarious Single Blunder or Meltdown by a Player or Team in a Single Game (The Lady Eri Award) : Lady Eri in Soviet Phalla
    Most Veteran Play by a New Player (The Least Dumb New Guy Award) : delroland for winning A Song of Ice and Fire phalla as a solo neutral
    Best or Closest Game Ending (The Traitors Unite Award): Space Station 13 for its conclusion
    Best Role(s) or Role PM(s) (The GM Is Semisuicidal After Sixty Goddamn Individualized Role PMs Jesus Christ That Wasn't Worth It Award): Voyage to Phalla for The Cultist
    Biggest Mistake by a Host in a Game (The Too-Easy-To-Name Award): Gumpy, revealing the name of a bad guy in TF2 Phalla
    Best Proboard (The Mind-Raping Eye-Vomiting Color Scheme Award): Drez for the network of one
    Least Repulsive Player (The Marginally Less Annoying Than The Rest Of Us Award): Freeagent
    Most Successful Gambit or Betrayal (The Oh-Shit-He-Was-A-Traitor Award): thorgot and precisionk in Romance of the Two Kingdoms
    Best Single Night of Narration(s) (The Bestselling Epic Poem Anthology As Narration Award): ElJeffe for the Phalliad
    Most Hilariously Overpowered Role Award (The Oh-God-What-Was-The-GM-Thinking Award): Jake from Animorphs phalla
    Most Mentally Disturbing Narration or Post: Mr. E's fanfic
    Most Over the Top Player aka Best PrecisionK Imitation: Drez
    Always Good (The "Who me, evil?" Award): Locus & Cantide
    Always Evil (The "Who me, good?" Award): Plutonium
    Worst Role Claim Award: Rainfall for Bluestreak
    Worst Game (After Fencingsax's Games): Phallost (Squashua)
    Worst Player: Xevo and Inactives
    Memest Meme: Seriously?
    Best Mini: Petshop, Monks on the Run, Gremlins, Seer
    Best Player: TehSpectre
    Best Game: Phalliad

    thorgot on
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  • ObbiObbi Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2008
    Current Nominations
    Currently accepting Nominees for: Best Phalla!
    Accepted Nominations
      [*]phallopolis
      [*]Phallanoia
      [*]Phalliad
      [*]Death Note
      [*]Zodiac Phalla
      [*]Insane Asylum Phalla
      [*]Vampire: The Masquerade
      [*]Ad Astra Per Phalla
      [*]Battlestar Phallactica


      Pending Nominations (Requires a second vote)


      BONUS AWARD: Best Player who is also a mod

      Obbi on
    • DrezDrez Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Hullo. Don't think I've ever been mandatorily drafted into a Phalla before, but sure, why not?

      Drez on
      Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238
      Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
      Playing: Persona 5 Royal (PS4), Animal Crossing (SW), FF7remake (PS4)
    • MrBlarneyMrBlarney Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      This is a very interesting idea you've got here. So, we make nominations on one day, then vote on the candidates the next day, while also making nominations for the following day? Gotta think about this one for a bit...

      EDIT: Also, I suggest people come up with specific post links in the nomination process. You know, like a clip show declaring the nominees. Since this is about most hilarious blunder, examples of that blunder (and effects) are probably good to put in ones post.

      MrBlarney on
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    • INeedNoSaltINeedNoSalt with blood on my teeth Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      what the fuck

      I want a reward for singlehandedly killing every single other member of a game.

      The hell do you guys keep a running list of dudes who have ever played in Phallas or some shit honestly I haven't touched one in a months

      INeedNoSalt on
    • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      As one of the players most involved in that whole fiasco, I also !nominate Psycholarry.

      Smasher on
    • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      As an example, I !nominate Psycholarry for leading his enemies to victory in Kingdoms of Phallacia. (This post is his explanation after the game ended.)
      MrBlarney wrote: »
      This is a very interesting idea you've got here. So, we make nominations on one day, then vote on the candidates the next day, while also making nominations for the following day? Gotta think about this one for a bit...

      EDIT: Also, I suggest people come up with specific post links in the nomination process. You know, like a clip show declaring the nominees. Since this is about most hilarious blunder, examples of that blunder (and effects) are probably good to put in ones post.

      Great suggestion.

      thorgot on
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    • Unearthly StewUnearthly Stew Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Hay guyz I'm totally a villager! VH can confirm my identity!

      Unearthly Stew on
    • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Should I nominate myself, or wait for B:L to come do it for me?

      Hi I'm Vee! on
      How to properly greet me:
      DqCFqdL.png
    • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      I also !nominate the village of Newham for voting for Richy after Shinto came out as a cultist.

      Smasher on
    • DrezDrez Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      VisibleHowl is wearing the green shirt.

      The murderer is wearing the green shirt.

      So quite obviously the murderer is B:L.

      Drez on
      Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238
      Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
      Playing: Persona 5 Royal (PS4), Animal Crossing (SW), FF7remake (PS4)
    • Unearthly StewUnearthly Stew Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Well B:L is always suspicious, so yeah.

      Unearthly Stew on
    • SmasherSmasher Starting to get dizzy Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Well B:L is always suspicious, so yeah.

      This is true. He's one of several players who seem to have a permanent aura of evil around them.

      Smasher on
    • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      If B:L is acting suspicious, he's probably a special, to be honest.

      It's when he's not causing a scene that you should worry the most.

      Hi I'm Vee! on
      How to properly greet me:
      DqCFqdL.png
    • FembotFembot Registered User
      edited May 2008
      This is fantastic.

      Fembot on
    • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Smasher wrote: »
      Well B:L is always suspicious, so yeah.

      This is true. He's one of several players who seem to have a permanent aura of evil around them.

      Those kinda guys annoy me.

      TehSpectre on
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    • LocusLocus Trust Me AlbanyRegistered User regular
      edited May 2008
      I would like to !nominate Rend from the Monks on the Run mini.

      Rend decided to trust Hylianbunny blindly. Not only was Hylianbunny a Cultist, but he was a thrall as well. The kicker? Rend was the seer.

      Also !nomination for the village in that game, for bandwagoning the Jester role even after thorgot (who was co-hosting) came as close as possible to telling them that they were making a huge mistake.

      Locus on
    • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Who really hates death millers? I'm "randomly" assigning roles, and I need to know who to "avoid."

      thorgot on
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    • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      I will second the !nomination for Rend in Monks on the Run. Though it was pretty funny reading the cultist proboards.

      thorgot on
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    • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
      edited May 2008
      Oh my.

      Munkus Beaver on
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      Steam: munkus_beaver
      Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
      http://www.ccfa.org/
    • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Oh that reminds me, nominate Xevo for acting like a moron in PhalLOST.

      Hi I'm Vee! on
      How to properly greet me:
      DqCFqdL.png
    • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      I'm going to !nominate PsychoLarry1 for epic lulz.

      I think I was evil that game.

      TehSpectre on
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    • Unearthly StewUnearthly Stew Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      The best part about B:L's aura is that it's not too accurate.

      Unearthly Stew on
    • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
      edited May 2008
      My two favorite games have been Phallanoia and Phalla Royale Pt. 1 for obvious reasons.

      EDIT: And the harry potter phalla.

      Munkus Beaver on
      Twitch Channel
      Steam: munkus_beaver
      Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
      http://www.ccfa.org/
    • LocusLocus Trust Me AlbanyRegistered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Oh that reminds me, nominate Xevo for acting like a moron in PhalLOST.
      I'll !second that.

      Locus on
    • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Oh that reminds me, nominate Xevo for acting like a moron in PhalLOST.

      That wasn't funny, VH.

      TehSpectre on
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    • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      My two favorite games have been Phallanoia and Phalla Royale Pt. 1 for obvious reasons.

      EDIT: And the harry potter phalla.

      Munkus, you will always be the bestest guardian ever for trying to protect me during the Vampire phalla.

      TehSpectre on
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    • MrBlarneyMrBlarney Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      I would like to nominate !Gumpy from the fresh-in-our-minds Phallastar Phallactica for helping the village turn crushing defeat into epic comeback victory. Supplemental links: Remember that Gumpy is a Cylon (baddie) and thus robotic construct and that two of his allies were on that ship that was gassed. Unrecorded are personal communications between Gumpy and myself and iamtheaznman cluing us in to the nature of the majority of Cylon attack mechanics.

      MrBlarney on
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    • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      <3 Gumpy.

      thorgot on
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    • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
      edited May 2008
      TehSpectre wrote: »
      My two favorite games have been Phallanoia and Phalla Royale Pt. 1 for obvious reasons.

      EDIT: And the harry potter phalla.

      Munkus, you will always be the bestest guardian ever for trying to protect me during the Vampire phalla.

      and getting killed on day 1?

      Munkus Beaver on
      Twitch Channel
      Steam: munkus_beaver
      Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
      http://www.ccfa.org/
    • Toxic ToysToxic Toys Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Damn, I got drafted into this.

      Um...shit, I really don't know who to vote yet.

      But I'm not evil

      Toxic Toys on
      3DS code: 2938-6074-2306, Nintendo Network ID: ToxicToys, PSN: zutto
    • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      TehSpectre wrote: »
      My two favorite games have been Phallanoia and Phalla Royale Pt. 1 for obvious reasons.

      EDIT: And the harry potter phalla.

      Munkus, you will always be the bestest guardian ever for trying to protect me during the Vampire phalla.

      and getting killed on day 1?

      We died heroes.

      TehSpectre on
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    • Unearthly StewUnearthly Stew Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Toxic Toys wrote: »
      Damn, I got drafted into this.

      Um...shit, I really don't know who to vote yet.

      But I'm not evil

      My role PM called you out as evil actually. Sorry dude.

      Unearthly Stew on
    • thorgotthorgot Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Toxic Toys wrote: »
      Damn, I got drafted into this.

      Um...shit, I really don't know who to vote yet.

      But I'm not evil

      My role PM called you out as evil actually. Sorry dude.

      no it didn't

      thorgot on
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    • Shorn Scrotum ManShorn Scrotum Man Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Oh shit, I've been drafted... ok.

      !Romantic Undead for being the sexiest lover ever in Battle Royale 1

      Shorn Scrotum Man on
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    • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      thorgot wrote: »
      Toxic Toys wrote: »
      Damn, I got drafted into this.

      Um...shit, I really don't know who to vote yet.

      But I'm not evil

      My role PM called you out as evil actually. Sorry dude.

      no it didn't

      I'm laughing so hard at this.

      TehSpectre on
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    • ObbiObbi Registered User, ClubPA regular
      edited May 2008
      What was the game where, I think it was Mr. Embarkation and Hakkekage? Where they both accused each other of bein' Mafia, only neither of them were and at the end of the day both of them had to paint their cheeks red and look really dumb for the camera?

      Granted that's not a single-player blunder, but I feel like it should be allowed.

      Obbi on
    • Shorn Scrotum ManShorn Scrotum Man Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      !Retract Romantic Undead

      Just realized this is a vote for something stupid, not something good.

      Gonna vote !Hylianbunny For putting me on two evil teams simultaneously on the second attempt at the Heroes Phalla

      Shorn Scrotum Man on
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    • Hi I'm Vee!Hi I'm Vee! Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C E Registered User regular
      edited May 2008
      Ardor, not Mr Embarkation.

      Hi I'm Vee! on
      How to properly greet me:
      DqCFqdL.png
    • ObbiObbi Registered User, ClubPA regular
      edited May 2008
      Really, it was ardor?

      For some reason I always thought it was Mr. E.

      Whoooops

      Obbi on
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