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Don't mess with [chat]

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Posts

  • Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Thanatos wrote: »
    Variable wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    God, jerking off is great.
    my favorite parts are the beginning, middle, and end.
    I hate the end because I have to be careful to shoot into a Kleenex or something. I can't stand the sight of cum.
    o_O

    You are a strange, strange man.

    I saw a porn where people snowballed a long time ago, and it combined my disgust with sputum and mouth stuff with a pungent white liquid.

    It was all downhill from there.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Being jerked off by a woman on a bus is a fun experience. The excitement of potentially being caught!

    Then being jerked off by a girl in biology while everyone else is just working.

    Now that's the pinnacle of awesome.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • GreeperGreeper Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    Yeah...

    not always.

    "Masturbation is cheap, clean, convenient, and free of any possibility of wrongdoing — and you don't have to go home in the cold. But it's lonely." -Robert Heinlein 'Time Enough for Love'

    Greeper on
  • AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    What if it was sex with a velociraptor?

    What if.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Aegri: Man, I've only ever been crotch-groped in front of an audience.

    If only I was wearing my trench coat that day she could have finished the job. :(

    --

    Sex with a cloaca as a raptor would have is like getting cooch and ass at the same time.

    Of course, velociraptors are like the size of a dog, so it would be like double-fucking Lassie if Lassie had a skin disease.

    Incenjucar on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    I would say that is an accurate statement.

    I take it you are not a fan of uncertainty and doubt?

    Not in general, no.

    Uncertainty and doubt in what I believe makes me not care about believing it too much.

    Which means I stop bothering with it.

    And that is bad.

    Pony on
  • GreeperGreeper Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Aegeri wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    What if it was sex with a velociraptor?

    What if.

    Aegeri please introduce me to a delightful array of various viruses and proteins who a sexual experience with would be pleasant.

    Greeper on
  • Psycho Internet HawkPsycho Internet Hawk Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Aegeri wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    What if it was sex with a velociraptor?

    What if.

    What if it was a velociraptor jerking you off?

    If that kitchen scene from Jurassic Park taught me anything, it is that velociraptors are surprisingly dexterous with their hands.

    Psycho Internet Hawk on
    ezek1t.jpg
  • AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    The one time in biology was fun. It was like "don't you dare say anything*" and I sort of had to make sure I didn't do anything obvious that gave me away.

    *like I was going to complain olol

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Greeper wrote: »
    Aegeri wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    What if it was sex with a velociraptor?

    What if.

    Aegeri please introduce me to a delightful array of various viruses and proteins who a sexual experience with would be pleasant.

    See avatar.

    It's the gift that keeps on giving.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Greeper wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    Variable wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    God, jerking off is great.

    my favorite parts are the beginning, middle, and end.

    The beginning is great because you just know it's going to lead to somewhere fantastic. The middle is okay, but it's fairly repetitive. The end is bliss because you feel really, really wonderful for a second or two and then you feel really, really mellow for the next minute or two.

    Yeah, jerking off. What a concept.

    actually afterwards I'm just kind of pissed about all the time I spent wasting jacking off.

    Then I feel like a morally shallow and spent being.

    And then sleep comes. Slowly, but inevitably, to wash clean all doubt and disinterest.

    Leaving only the oblivion of the void and the mockery and mimicry of dreams.

    I sometimes get that "Well shit, that was a waste of time" feeling. It generally works best when I've gotten home after a long day of doing stuff. If I've just been lounging around the house all day, it becomes more of a time-passing chore than a pleasure.

    Gim on
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I got jerked off in public once.

    Girl was so bad at it I had to finish it off myself.

    So, I guess I should say that I got half-way jerked off in public once.

    Inquisitor on
  • SenjutsuSenjutsu thot enthusiast Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    So Senj

    Buddhism

    Why shouldn't I hate it?

    You could hate it, or not. I'm just not certain you hate it for particularly informed reasons.

    stop being reasonable

    besides the obvious "don't be a dick" teachings, what does Buddhism offer as a system for providing meaning, moral guidance, etc?

    I think maybe it's value is that it doesn't try to offer too much beyond "don't be a dick" in the moral guideline department, and mostly focuses on developing a toolkit for reducing your dickishness. It stretches the western notions of religion towards the realm of self-help and psychotherapy. And it rejects dogma in favor of empirical evidence, in a nice reversal of the usual pattern.

    Senjutsu on
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    You know what's better than actual sex?

    Jerking off twice.

    Gim on
  • ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I can only imagine how pissed off the fundies interviewed by the History Channel are when they find out their interviews were used to convey the fact that Christianity hasn't been around forever.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • SenjutsuSenjutsu thot enthusiast Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Aegeri wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    What if it was sex with a velociraptor?

    What if.

    Is the velociraptor willing to go ass to mouth?

    Senjutsu on
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I got jerked off in public once.

    Girl was so bad at it I had to finish it off myself.

    So, I guess I should say that I got half-way jerked off in public once.

    and that you jerked yourself off in public once.

    Variable on
    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
  • AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I got jerked off in public once.

    Girl was so bad at it I had to finish it off myself.

    So, I guess I should say that I got half-way jerked off in public once.

    I'll meet a girl who I'll have much fun with one day, who doesn't need it explained to her that because I'm not circumcised, you shouldn't put your hand around the top part unless you want me jumping 3 feet in pain.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • SenjutsuSenjutsu thot enthusiast Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Gim wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    You know what's better than actual sex?

    Jerking off twice.

    Nope.

    Senjutsu on
  • ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I got jerked off in public once.

    Girl was so bad at it I had to finish it off myself.

    So, I guess I should say that I got half-way jerked off in public once.

    Actually you should say you masturbate in public, you fucking sicko.

    I got jerked off in a cinema, though. During Iron Man. It was pretty sweet.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Psycho Internet HawkPsycho Internet Hawk Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    You kow what really sucks? Having sex and not having an orgasm (I ama dude). Like most of the fucking time.

    I am blessed/cursed with the stamina of a fucking porn star since my very first time. It's not even a dissapointment anymore, just a fact.

    Psycho Internet Hawk on
    ezek1t.jpg
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Variable wrote: »
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I got jerked off in public once.

    Girl was so bad at it I had to finish it off myself.

    So, I guess I should say that I got half-way jerked off in public once.

    and that you jerked yourself off in public once.

    That sounds...much less...un-creepy.

    Inquisitor on
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    Not in general, no.

    Uncertainty and doubt in what I believe makes me not care about believing it too much.

    Which means I stop bothering with it.

    And that is bad.

    Right.

    Basically sounds like you just never learned to conquer your fears.

    Mind you, I'm actually extremely fearful myself, but I learned to embrace negative emotion to suit my purposes rather than simply unleashing it without useful control.

    --

    Psycho: Hi5. Women get so damned mad when they're used to guys just spooging at the slightest touch and you're not even breathing hard after like five minutes.

    Incenjucar on
  • ChurchChurch Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Variable wrote: »
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I got jerked off in public once.

    Girl was so bad at it I had to finish it off myself.

    So, I guess I should say that I got half-way jerked off in public once.

    and that you jerked yourself off in public once.

    That sounds...much less...un-creepy.

    Yeah, see my post.

    Church on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I got jerked off in a theatre while seeing Multiplicity with the gal I was dating at the time.

    Bad idea, because I am a grunter.

    And when I was like "NNNNNNNNNNGGGHHH" there was no doubt what was going on.

    Years later a girl I was dating tried to do it during X-Men 3 and I was like uh no thank you.

    Pony on
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    You kow what really sucks? Having sex and not having an orgasm (I ama dude). Like most of the fucking time.

    I am blessed/cursed with the stamina of a fucking porn star since my very first time. It's not even a dissapointment anymore, just a fact.

    maybe there's something wrong?

    I'm no doctor, but have you stuck any corks up your dick recently?

    Variable on
    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
  • AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    Aegeri wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    What if it was sex with a velociraptor?

    What if.

    Is the velociraptor willing to go ass to mouth?

    Let us ask, what would Jesus do?

    Jesus_on_raptor.jpg

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    Not in general, no.

    Uncertainty and doubt in what I believe makes me not care about believing it too much.

    Which means I stop bothering with it.

    And that is bad.

    Right.

    Basically sounds like you just never learned to conquer your fears.

    Mind you, I'm actually extremely fearful myself, but I learned to embrace negative emotion to suit my purposes rather than simply unleashing it without useful control.

    Well more accurately, I've not learned to conquer my diagnosed mental condition.

    Little more potent than just "fears", really.

    Pony on
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    Gim wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    You know what's better than actual sex?

    Jerking off twice.

    Nope.

    You're just not doing it right.

    Gim on
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    To be fair, I was like, 13, and by in public I mean in the dark corner of a residential street late at night.

    Though, one jogger did come by and give us quite the scare.

    Inquisitor on
  • GreeperGreeper Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Inquis your life is interesting yet not enviable.

    A strange combination.

    Greeper on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    You guys know what really sucks?

    Prostatitis!

    I get that sometimes. It sucks really bad.

    It's not something I'd wish on someone I hate.

    Pony on
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Geeze.

    And here I've been holding hands in the theater all this time. :|

    --

    Pony: Oh I'm sure there's a complex story behind it, but I'm not an insured professional and more importantly you're not paying me. Your issues also resemble "daddy issues" such as girls I have known had where they wanted someone they thought the world of to control them, with religion as a backup.

    Incenjucar on
  • Wonder_HippieWonder_Hippie __BANNED USERS regular
    edited May 2008
    Church wrote: »
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    I got jerked off in public once.

    Girl was so bad at it I had to finish it off myself.

    So, I guess I should say that I got half-way jerked off in public once.

    Actually you should say you masturbate in public, you fucking sicko.

    I got jerked off in a cinema, though. During Iron Man. It was pretty sweet.

    The girl I dated through high school, we would pick bad movies to do this for. I got head during Unbreakable, X-Men, Rush Hour, a few others. Flat out fucked during that one Keanu Reeves and Morgan Freeman movie because there was literally nobody else in the theater.

    Wonder_Hippie on
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Greeper wrote: »
    Inquis your life is interesting yet not enviable.

    A strange combination.

    Yes, well... I...

    I can finally do pull-offs on my bass with some reliability!

    Inquisitor on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    I ain't ever gotten head in a theater, although a dude offered and I was like no thank you.

    There was no way we were gonna get away with that.

    Pony on
  • AegeriAegeri Tiny wee bacteriums Plateau of LengRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    His mother certainly thought so.

    OHHHHHHHH I WENT THERE.

    Aegeri on
    The Roleplayer's Guild: My blog for roleplaying games, advice and adventuring.
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    edited May 2008
    chain reaction.

    Variable on
    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    am i the only dude here who is loud during sex

    i certainly hope not

    Pony on
  • SenjutsuSenjutsu thot enthusiast Registered User regular
    edited May 2008
    Aegeri wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    Aegeri wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    you know what's better than jerking off?

    actual sex

    What if it was sex with a velociraptor?

    What if.

    Is the velociraptor willing to go ass to mouth?

    Let us ask, what would Jesus do?

    Velociraptor is going to inspire a religion that largely ignores its ass-to-mouth teachings?

    Senjutsu on
This discussion has been closed.