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Infidelity, not just another form of static..

24

Posts

  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Adrien wrote: »
    Adrien wrote: »
    If sleeping with someone else is so important that you might cheat, you should probably break off the relationship.

    What if you can't end the relationship for reasons outside of your, and your SO's, control?

    What do you mean "what if you can't end it?" Is someone holding a gun to your head?

    Well, hypothetically yes. In real life it's more likely to be a financial dependency, though.

    Then you're a leech. Man up and stop feigning a relationship for cash would be my advice, not "hey we're gonna half-ass this thing."

    I think he meant the other way around. He's supporting somebody else.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • zeenyzeeny Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I wouldn't want it done to me. Would you be okay if it was done to you?

    Nope, I'd feel like crap. All I was trying to say is that I'm really not going to shift or place blame on the guy. I don't see him as the one doing me wrong in such a situation. Probably anger will make me feel different, but rational thought really leads me to that answer.


    zeeny wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    Cheating = Violating the agreed-upon rules of the relationship.

    "Breaking the contract," if you will.


    If it is part of the contract. If we want to continue with legal speak, y, cheating voids the contract immediately as far as I'm concerned. Actually. Scratch that. Lying does. Cheating is just a sort of a lie in the end.

    I think it depends on the size/terms of the lie. Cheating is a big one. Some other things not so much.

    I have lying as the biggest fucking character flow out there. I'm also terribly difficult to please if you break up trust once. So, instead of staying in a relationship and making it unpleasant for both of us, yeah, a lie is where I'm out.
    Every lie has a reason behind it and if I can't even phantom why the fuck would you lie for something that small, I'd just get more and more paranoid.

    zeeny on
  • Psycho Internet HawkPsycho Internet Hawk Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Adrien wrote: »
    Adrien wrote: »
    If sleeping with someone else is so important that you might cheat, you should probably break off the relationship.

    What if you can't end the relationship for reasons outside of your, and your SO's, control?

    What do you mean "what if you can't end it?" Is someone holding a gun to your head?

    Well, hypothetically yes. In real life it's more likely to be a financial dependency, though.

    Then you're a leech. Man up and stop feigning a relationship for cash.

    Or woman up.

    Womyn? S/He?

    Anyway seriously cheating is a sign of being incredibly clingy/needy since it shows you want something else but are too terrified of ending what you have now. People should choose one way or the other, not dick around in the middle.

    Psycho Internet Hawk on
    ezek1t.jpg
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    You can still support someone who needs supporting (if you believe they deserve it) without pretending to have a romantic relationship. (e.g. the carer for your child, a sick former partner).

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I was once offered a threesome by a pair of attractive women, and turned them down because I was in a relationship at the time. My girlfriend lived hours away, had no connections to the staff, women or town, and thus was essentially the perfect crime, were I willing to undertake their offer.

    I politely declined.

    That said, we broke up a few weeks later for unrelated reasons, so maybe I shouldn't have been quite so blindly faithful... I keed, I keed, I'm glad I stuck by my principles.

    I hail from the line of thought that everyone has a price, mine just happens to be higher than the average person will ever be willing to meet.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • KingGrahamKingGraham Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I think that if you really love your partner you'll turn that opportunity for cheating into an opportunity for a threesome! I mean, chick wants to do me, she's gotta do my wife too. That's how I see it anyway.

    Bring home a sexy, rather than divorce-inducing surprise!

    Your mileage may vary on this particular plan.

    KingGraham on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    poshniallo wrote: »
    You can still support someone who needs supporting (if you believe they deserve it) without pretending to have a romantic relationship. (e.g. the carer for your child, a sick former partner).

    Have you ever tried it?

    I mean, seriously. Have you ever been involved with somebody who got sick, lost their job, and ended up financially dependent upon you at the same time you've fallen out of love with them?

    Do you really think you could say "Hey I don't love you anymore but go ahead and live with me oh don't worry it'll be totally cool I'm gonna go see other people k?" and have that work?

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    KingGraham wrote: »
    Bring home a sexy, rather than divorce-inducing surprise!

    Only if you've had the "would you be open to a threesome" talk in advance, I would imagine.

    Otherwise it might just be a divorce-inducing surprise in the making.

    What if your wife brought home another guy as a sexy surprise?

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    KingGraham wrote: »
    I think that if you really love your partner you'll turn that opportunity for cheating into an opportunity for a threesome! I mean, chick wants to do me, she's gotta do my wife too. That's how I see it anyway.

    Bring home a sexy, rather than divorce-inducing surprise!

    Your mileage may vary on this particular plan.

    I cannot possibly imagine this ever working.

    But still, it would certainly be worth a try. :winky:

    chamberlain on
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    You can still support someone who needs supporting (if you believe they deserve it) without pretending to have a romantic relationship. (e.g. the carer for your child, a sick former partner).

    Have you ever tried it?

    I mean, seriously. Have you ever been involved with somebody who got sick, lost their job, and ended up financially dependent upon you at the same time you've fallen out of love with them?

    Do you really think you could say "Hey I don't love you anymore but go ahead and live with me oh don't worry it'll be totally cool I'm gonna go see other people k?" and have that work?

    Nope, I've never done that.

    You're implying you did it. Did it work doing it the other way?

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    poshniallo wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    You can still support someone who needs supporting (if you believe they deserve it) without pretending to have a romantic relationship. (e.g. the carer for your child, a sick former partner).

    Have you ever tried it?

    I mean, seriously. Have you ever been involved with somebody who got sick, lost their job, and ended up financially dependent upon you at the same time you've fallen out of love with them?

    Do you really think you could say "Hey I don't love you anymore but go ahead and live with me oh don't worry it'll be totally cool I'm gonna go see other people k?" and have that work?

    Nope, I've never done that.

    You're implying you did it. Did it work doing it the other way?

    Yeah I tried it once.

    Got sucked right back into the relationship within, oh, four days.

    And yes I was very strongly tempted to cheat. I mean, here was this person in my house who I cared for a lot but wasn't in love with, who was sick and had nowhere to go. Meanwhile I'm falling in love with another woman. Do I kick my long-term partner out on the street with no money and no health insurance simply because I don't want to be in a relationship with her and want to be with somebody else? That's fucked up. Do I stay in a relationship with somebody who I don't love out of sympathy for their medical/financial condition while the woman I do love gets tired of waiting for me and finds another man? That's fucked up, too.

    It's not an easy situation to be in and there is no right answer. Ideally, Hypothetical Sick Girlfriend goes to live with her mom or something... but when her entire family are useless fucktards and you're left holding the check (only the check is for thousands of dollars of medical bills) and you find yourself in love with another woman entirely you start questioning exactly how important it is to you to be a good person rather than a heartless bastard.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    You can still support someone who needs supporting (if you believe they deserve it) without pretending to have a romantic relationship. (e.g. the carer for your child, a sick former partner).

    Have you ever tried it?

    I mean, seriously. Have you ever been involved with somebody who got sick, lost their job, and ended up financially dependent upon you at the same time you've fallen out of love with them?

    Do you really think you could say "Hey I don't love you anymore but go ahead and live with me oh don't worry it'll be totally cool I'm gonna go see other people k?" and have that work?

    Nope, I've never done that.

    You're implying you did it. Did it work doing it the other way?

    Yeah I tried it once.

    Got sucked right back into the relationship within, oh, four days.

    And yes I was very strongly tempted to cheat. I mean, here was this person in my house who I cared for a lot but wasn't in love with, who was sick and had nowhere to go. Meanwhile I'm falling in love with another woman. Do I kick my long-term partner out on the street with no money and no health insurance simply because I don't want to be in a relationship with her and want to be with somebody else? That's fucked up. Do I stay in a relationship with somebody who I don't love out of sympathy for their medical/financial condition while the woman I do love gets tired of waiting for me and finds another man? That's fucked up, too.

    It's not an easy situation to be in and there is no right answer. Ideally, Hypothetical Sick Girlfriend goes to live with her mom or something... but when her entire family are useless fucktards and you're left holding the check (only the check is for thousands of dollars of medical bills) and you find yourself in love with another woman entirely you start questioning exactly how important it is to you to be a good person rather than a heartless bastard.

    I wasn't saying it would be easy. I'm not saying you end up with any chance to take any moral high ground. I'm not saying you are a bad person for whatever you ended up doing.

    I'm just saying it's possible to help without pretending to continue the relationship. Further, I'd say it will be a clusterfuck either way - you're quite right, there is no good answer. You end up hurting someone no matter what.

    The complexities are pretty obvious to me, and I'm sure painfully obvious to you. But both paths are options.

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.

    I have cheated once. It ended my college relationship. We were states apart and I cheated with an old flame who I subsequently dated for half a year before figuring out I was deluding myself.

    It's a pretty bad way to learn a lesson but if you're a good person you only need to learn it once.

    Medopine on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Yeah, what made things worse is that this person identified to me as polyamorous prior to the relationship but had taken some things I'd said as hints that I wanted to be monogamous with her (I didn't, but I understand why she perceived things that way), so the poly thing was difficult to begin with. And she found this other woman incredibly threatening, so even if we had been poly, I'm sure she would have vetoed any talk of my having any romantic interactions with the other woman.

    Yes, it was pretty much a complete and total clusterfuck.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.

    I do agree with this. People who say "once a cheater, always a cheater" need to fuck the shut up.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    My emotional connection to that kind of dilemma is that my parents stayed together 20 years, and possibly got together, partly because they had kids to look after.

    To cut a moderately fucked-up story short, that was (very very much) not a good idea. Everyone's life would have been a lot less shit if they'd stopped trying to have a relationship and done whatever finance was necessary.

    Oh, and I have a lot of half-siblings....

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.

    I do agree with this. People who say "once a cheater, always a cheater" need to fuck the shut up.

    That's true. And I'm not convinced at all that cheating is as widespread nowadays as it used to be.

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'd rather see kids raised in a single-parent household where there is expressive love than a two-parent household dominated by chilly repression.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    I'd rather see kids raised in a single-parent household where there is expressive love than a two-parent household dominated by chilly repression.

    or rage.... D:

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    poshniallo wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    I'd rather see kids raised in a single-parent household where there is expressive love than a two-parent household dominated by chilly repression.

    or rage.... D:

    Needs more D: s.
    D:D:D:

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    We are both rather D: at this point.

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • citizen059citizen059 hello my name is citizen I'm from the InternetRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    poshniallo wrote: »
    You can still support someone who needs supporting (if you believe they deserve it) without pretending to have a romantic relationship. (e.g. the carer for your child, a sick former partner).

    Have you ever tried it?

    I mean, seriously. Have you ever been involved with somebody who got sick, lost their job, and ended up financially dependent upon you at the same time you've fallen out of love with them?

    Do you really think you could say "Hey I don't love you anymore but go ahead and live with me oh don't worry it'll be totally cool I'm gonna go see other people k?" and have that work?

    Nope, I've never done that.

    You're implying you did it. Did it work doing it the other way?

    Yeah I tried it once.

    Got sucked right back into the relationship within, oh, four days.

    And yes I was very strongly tempted to cheat. I mean, here was this person in my house who I cared for a lot but wasn't in love with, who was sick and had nowhere to go. Meanwhile I'm falling in love with another woman. Do I kick my long-term partner out on the street with no money and no health insurance simply because I don't want to be in a relationship with her and want to be with somebody else? That's fucked up. Do I stay in a relationship with somebody who I don't love out of sympathy for their medical/financial condition while the woman I do love gets tired of waiting for me and finds another man? That's fucked up, too.

    It's not an easy situation to be in and there is no right answer. Ideally, Hypothetical Sick Girlfriend goes to live with her mom or something... but when her entire family are useless fucktards and you're left holding the check (only the check is for thousands of dollars of medical bills) and you find yourself in love with another woman entirely you start questioning exactly how important it is to you to be a good person rather than a heartless bastard.

    /sigh

    Yeah. I know how that one goes. And there's no good answer to any questions it brings up.

    citizen059 on
  • poshnialloposhniallo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I was thinking of a reason to be :lol: instead of D: and it connects to the OP.

    My wife is asleep in the other room, rather lightly pregnant.

    So, if I ever cheated on her, I'd probably end up having to explain to the little blob(ette) what I did.

    That adds another person to think about and avoid hurting.

    poshniallo on
    I figure I could take a bear.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I've been cheated on in the past.

    I didn't hurt me remotely as much as I was taught that it would.

    GF and I had a really nasty fight the week before she was taking a family trip to Vegas. While in Vegas she met up with an old partner of hers and had drunken sex.

    I was more hurt about the things she said before the fight than I was about the sex.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • dgs095dgs095 Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I've read a few D&D threads and Feral, I have much respect for you and your opinion.

    I agree, almost all labels are really fucked up and should not be used, cheater, black, slut, gay, felon all of them. I realize labels are not always meant to be derogatory, but when they are, the people using labels need to realize that they make themselves seem extremely ignorant.
    Everyone is entitled to their lifestyle, opinion, ethnicity and so on. Labeling them for past actions or who they are is the first step down discrimination road.

    And regarding the OP, I think men get a bad name for the actions of a few. Also, I suspect women are quicker to end a relationship they feel isn't meeting their needs, where a man might take longer to realize or accept he should end the relationship and cheats instead. If someone is willing to cheat, I don't buy the excuse that he's giving into baser instincts, more likely he/she isn't happy in his current relationship, but hasn't ended or attempted to repair it for whatever reasons.

    I am only human, and I sometimes get little pangs of jealousy, enough that I know I wouldn't work well in a polyamourous relationship and that I would never cheat on my SO. I know I would be devastated if my SO cheated on me. Humans probably aren't really meant (biologically) to be monogamous, and I respect Feral and people with polyamourous relationships. Jealousy is a flaw I have, those who aren't as jealous are really more enlightened then I.

    dgs095 on
  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    I've been cheated on in the past.

    I didn't hurt me remotely as much as I was taught that it would.

    WTB a culture that doesn't teach people that sex and "love" must go together.

    ege02 on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    ege02 wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    I've been cheated on in the past.

    I didn't hurt me remotely as much as I was taught that it would.

    WTB a culture that doesn't teach people that sex and "love" must go together.

    But they're two great tastes that taste great together!

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I mean seriously you can drink the gin and you can drink the tonic but neither alone is nearly as good as a nice well-made G&T.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • ege02ege02 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    I mean seriously you can drink the gin and you can drink the tonic but neither alone is nearly as good as a nice well-made G&T.

    Maybe our experiences differ.

    I agree that love without sex sucks, but sex without love, not necessarily.

    ege02 on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'm being partially facetious, but only partially.

    Love and sex don't have to go together and can be very rewarding on their own.

    But I feel that they're best when they are together.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • electricitylikesmeelectricitylikesme Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    The OP seems impossibly vague. Cheating has it's context, it might not be a particularly good context but just saying "she'll never know, and the other person is willing" seems well...ridiculous.

    Also, the opinion doesn't seem healthy to offsetting the social repression of men's emotional contexts that we have going on here in the west.

    electricitylikesme on
  • dgs095dgs095 Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    I'm being partially facetious, but only partially.

    Love and sex don't have to go together and can be very rewarding on their own.

    But I feel that they're best when they are together.

    I agree. Studies repeatedly show the "good" feeling from sex is mostly in your head and not from physical stimulus, so unless there is some emotional connection with your partner I would think the sex would be less "good" feeling.
    The OP seems impossibly vague. Cheating has it's context, it might not be a particularly good context but just saying "she'll never know, and the other person is willing" seems well...ridiculous.

    Also, the opinion doesn't seem healthy to offsetting the social repression of men's emotional contexts that we have going on here in the west.

    I agree with this also, but if the OP was always perfect there would be less to debate in threads. :P
    No one should go through their life regretting one decisions overly much, learn from it, change and move on.

    dgs095 on
  • darklite_xdarklite_x I'm not an r-tard... Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.
    Since you used the word cheating I'm going to work off the assumption that the relationship is monogamous and that that's understood by both parties. That being the case, cheating certainly doesn't end your life, but it does mean you lack self-control. As Feral said, I don't agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mentality, but I am of the school of thought that "once a cheater, respect gone."

    I know there's the whole emotions thing that comes into play, but in the end I would disown a family member if I found out that cheated on their SO in a monogamous relationship.

    darklite_x on
    Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    Humans aren't exactly the paragons of monogamy.

    I think the more interesting question is how people feel about the person who cheats with the person who's in a relationship.

    I feel it's not their responsibility to maintain any one else's relationships. I'm not even sure it's morally valid to feel responsible for them, either.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • FellhandFellhand Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    darklite_x wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.
    Since you used the word cheating I'm going to work off the assumption that the relationship is monogamous and that that's understood by both parties. That being the case, cheating certainly doesn't end your life, but it does mean you lack self-control. As Feral said, I don't agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mentality, but I am of the school of thought that "once a cheater, respect gone."

    I know there's the whole emotions thing that comes into play, but in the end I would disown a family member if I found out that cheated on their SO in a monogamous relationship.

    That's pretty shitty of you. People tend to cheat because a need they have is not being fulfilled (not necessarily sexual).

    Fellhand on
  • RiemannLivesRiemannLives Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.

    I do agree with this. People who say "once a cheater, always a cheater" need to fuck the shut up.

    Agreed. Though I would say "twice a cheater, always a cheater" is usually on the mark.

    RiemannLives on
    Attacked by tweeeeeeees!
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Drez wrote: »
    I feel it's not their responsibility to maintain any one else's relationships. I'm not even sure it's morally valid to feel responsible for them, either.
    So, you're not culpable, at all, if you knowingly go get with some married woman, who chooses whether out of being a momentary or serial fool to be with you and as a result fucks up her husband and kids with the fallout?

    GungHo on
  • WarbadgerWarbadger Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    darklite_x wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.
    Since you used the word cheating I'm going to work off the assumption that the relationship is monogamous and that that's understood by both parties. That being the case, cheating certainly doesn't end your life, but it does mean you lack self-control. As Feral said, I don't agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mentality, but I am of the school of thought that "once a cheater, respect gone."

    I know there's the whole emotions thing that comes into play, but in the end I would disown a family member if I found out that cheated on their SO in a monogamous relationship.

    That's pretty harsh. I don't know how I feel on this. Infidelity in a monogamous relationship would really hurt my trust of a person, and I think that being able to trust another person is one of the most important things I look for in relationships (romantic or otherwise).

    That said, disowning them? I don't know. It is one mistake, as large as it is.

    Warbadger on
  • CliffCliff Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    darklite_x wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.
    Since you used the word cheating I'm going to work off the assumption that the relationship is monogamous and that that's understood by both parties. That being the case, cheating certainly doesn't end your life, but it does mean you lack self-control. As Feral said, I don't agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mentality, but I am of the school of thought that "once a cheater, respect gone."

    I know there's the whole emotions thing that comes into play, but in the end I would disown a family member if I found out that cheated on their SO in a monogamous relationship.


    Is it lonely up there on your high horse?

    Cliff on
  • Casually HardcoreCasually Hardcore Once an Asshole. Trying to be better. Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Fellhand wrote: »
    darklite_x wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    By the way - cheating doesn't end your life or make you a terrible person in and of itself.
    Since you used the word cheating I'm going to work off the assumption that the relationship is monogamous and that that's understood by both parties. That being the case, cheating certainly doesn't end your life, but it does mean you lack self-control. As Feral said, I don't agree with the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mentality, but I am of the school of thought that "once a cheater, respect gone."

    I know there's the whole emotions thing that comes into play, but in the end I would disown a family member if I found out that cheated on their SO in a monogamous relationship.

    That's pretty shitty of you. People tend to cheat because a need they have is not being fulfilled (not necessarily sexual).

    What ever happen to talking to your significant other and bringing up the topic? I mean if you have some kind of dog shit eating fetish and you wish for your wife to join in, well I think you're SOL if your wife objects to it and refuse to participate. Maybe you should find someone who enjoys the same fetish?

    Casually Hardcore on
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