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So I picked up some Rednecks....

24

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    Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    i do

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I was driving home from the city one night around midnight. I was along a dark stretch of road bordered by trees and wetlands with no streetlights or light of any kind but my own headlights. Even the moon was covered by the rainclouds that were periodically sending down a cold mist every so often as I drove.
    Up ahead on the road I caught a flash of light out of the corner of my eye, distracting me. As I got closer it flashed again, longer this time and it hit directly into my right eye. I slowed down and saw a man walking in the wet grass between the road and the guardrail carrying one of those little LED lights trying to discreetly flag me down with it. It was wicked creepy and all I could see of the man was silhouette and a bit of his shirt and no jacket, which was odd since it was pretty cold in the fall, especially when it was raining.

    I drove on by with a chill running up my spine and briefly considered pulling over to call the town cops and warn them a hitcher with a potentially dangerous method of sticking out his thumb was walking around in the pitch black and rain without a jacket at midnight. In the end I decided to just forget about him and hope he wasn't some dangerous crazy man.

    TankHammer on
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Yeah hitchhikers are pretty sketchy

    Sheri on
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    MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    not all people wanna rape you

    lies

    Marathon on
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    not all people wanna rape you

    Listen, I've got girly lips.

    I gotta be careful.

    Plus there was that whole story about this girl I know of who was attacked at a top light on a country road by a crazy dude who was trying to pull her out of her car.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Man I never see sketchy hitchhikers

    To be fair, I never really see hitchhikers at all

    But this one wasn't sketchy!

    She was just stuck in the middle of nowhere

    Straightzi on
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'll let the big, burly men pick up the sketchy looking hitchhikers carrying axes

    Sheri on
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    MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Man I never see sketchy hitchhikers

    To be fair, I never really see hitchhikers at all

    But this one wasn't sketchy!

    She was just stuck in the middle of nowhere

    yeah, but your experience is probably a minute exception to an overall trend of hitchers being creepy dudes who you would not think twice about picking up on a dark road in the middle of nowhere.

    Marathon on
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    RobchamRobcham The Rabbit King of your pantsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Gonna go rape someone right now

    Robcham on
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    UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I would never pick up a hitchhiker, and also would never hitchhike because of who might offer me a ride.

    UnbreakableVow on
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    DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    What's wrong with this picture?

    blackhistorymonth.jpg


    also, some crazy bitch waved me down and when I pulled over, she said "can I get a ride to my friend's house to buy some weed?" I said "nope", rolled up the window, and took off.

    Dislexic on
    batsig.jpg
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    Kane Red RobeKane Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I picked up a guy by the freeway onramp on my way home from work one night around midnight. Seemed like a pretty okay dude, just a little hard on his luck. He told me that he was trying to put his life back together after he broke down for a few years when his wife died, I didn't press him for details. He wrote down his favorite bible verse on an index card, I don't recall what it is, but I still have it in my car somewhere.

    I figure if I was ever in the situation where I need to hitch a ride, some positive karma can't hurt.

    Kane Red Robe on
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    RobchamRobcham The Rabbit King of your pantsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    karma is for sissies

    Robcham on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I have never given a ride to a complete stranger. I've given rides to friends-of-friends or co-workers a few times with no hesitation but if you are out on the side of the road and it isn't because of some emergency situation then the only way I am going to give you a ride is if you are small enough that I know I can hold you off while steering my car in case you turn out to be some nutter who just wants some company on their ride to hell.

    TankHammer on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Marathon wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Man I never see sketchy hitchhikers

    To be fair, I never really see hitchhikers at all

    But this one wasn't sketchy!

    She was just stuck in the middle of nowhere

    yeah, but your experience is probably a minute exception to an overall trend of hitchers being creepy dudes who you would not think twice about picking up on a dark road in the middle of nowhere.

    well I mean hell it is not like I didn't take precautions or nothing

    I mean, I slowed down to get a good look at who it was and locked all my doors and only rolled the window down enough to talk to her so I could know what was what

    But I mean, I figure a lot of people deserve at least that

    Shit happens

    Straightzi on
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    GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I actually hitchhiked from my apartment complex over to campus when the bus decided that it was just not gonna run for absolutely no reason. Turns out it was some dipshit guy in one of my classes. Glad it was dark so he didn't see me.

    Gafoto on
    sierracrest.jpg
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    Kane Red RobeKane Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sissies brave enough to pick up hitchhikers at midnight.

    Kane Red Robe on
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    DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    According to Sharon Stone talking about the earthquake, karma is for chinese

    Dislexic on
    batsig.jpg
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    UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Also hitchhikers are easy to pass on the road.

    Bums accosting you for cash are much worse.

    UnbreakableVow on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I have never given a ride to a complete stranger. I've given rides to friends-of-friends or co-workers a few times with no hesitation but if you are out on the side of the road and it isn't because of some emergency situation then the only way I am going to give you a ride is if you are small enough that I know I can hold you off while steering my car in case you turn out to be some nutter who just wants some company on their ride to hell.

    Dang what if it is an emergency situation that you just can't see man

    Straightzi on
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    RobchamRobcham The Rabbit King of your pantsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    kid bums depress me
    all sad with their googly eyes askin me for cash

    Robcham on
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    DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Robcham wrote: »
    kid bums depress me
    all sad with their googly eyes askin me for cash

    man, kids with lazy eyes are the most hilarious.

    Dislexic on
    batsig.jpg
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    GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Bums accosting you for cash are much worse.

    This is why I like the country, when winter comes around there's nowhere for the homeless to hide.

    I guess, uh, they just die off like mosquitos when the first hard freeze hits.

    That's a little more depressing now that I think about it.

    Gafoto on
    sierracrest.jpg
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    UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Gafoto wrote: »
    Bums accosting you for cash are much worse.

    This is why I like the country, when winter comes around there's nowhere for the homeless to hide.

    I guess, uh, they just die off like mosquitos when the first hard freeze hits.

    That's a little more depressing now that I think about it.

    Again, I live in Florida. We have no "cold" here. We have warm and less warm.

    Bums are a year-round occurrence.

    UnbreakableVow on
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    TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Oh wait I did give a homeless guy a ride once. I also gave him five bucks for "gas" since his cover story was that he ran out on his way to work. He kind of cornered me in the alley behind my apartment and scared my ex girlfriend half to death in the process, but I figured either I am nice to this seemly-peaceful homeless dude with the obvious cover-story or I deny him the kindness and end up with a desperate fellow knowing where I live and what my car looks like.

    I got as far as the next block when he pointed to nobody in-particular, proclaimed them to be his friend and told me I could let him off right there not 50 feet from where I picked him up. He then promised he'd bring me a big platter of shrimp to thank me.

    It's been 4 years almost and I still haven't got that shrimp but I'm sure he'll come through one of these days.

    TankHammer on
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    MarathonMarathon Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Marathon wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Man I never see sketchy hitchhikers

    To be fair, I never really see hitchhikers at all

    But this one wasn't sketchy!

    She was just stuck in the middle of nowhere

    yeah, but your experience is probably a minute exception to an overall trend of hitchers being creepy dudes who you would not think twice about picking up on a dark road in the middle of nowhere.

    well I mean hell it is not like I didn't take precautions or nothing

    I mean, I slowed down to get a good look at who it was and locked all my doors and only rolled the window down enough to talk to her so I could know what was what

    But I mean, I figure a lot of people deserve at least that

    Shit happens

    You missed a golden opportunity to have sex with her too it would seem. Not rape mind you, but she owed you something for the ride.

    Marathon on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Marathon wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Marathon wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Man I never see sketchy hitchhikers

    To be fair, I never really see hitchhikers at all

    But this one wasn't sketchy!

    She was just stuck in the middle of nowhere

    yeah, but your experience is probably a minute exception to an overall trend of hitchers being creepy dudes who you would not think twice about picking up on a dark road in the middle of nowhere.

    well I mean hell it is not like I didn't take precautions or nothing

    I mean, I slowed down to get a good look at who it was and locked all my doors and only rolled the window down enough to talk to her so I could know what was what

    But I mean, I figure a lot of people deserve at least that

    Shit happens

    You missed a golden opportunity to have sex with her too it would seem. Not rape mind you, but she owed you something for the ride.

    Naw she wasn't exactly a looker

    Straightzi on
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    GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    It's been 4 years almost and I still haven't got that shrimp but I'm sure he'll come through one of these days.

    Shrimp is hobospeak for 'big pile of rape'.

    Gafoto on
    sierracrest.jpg
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    FabricateFabricate __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Dislexic wrote: »
    Robcham wrote: »
    kid bums depress me
    all sad with their googly eyes askin me for cash

    man, kids with lazy eyes are the most hilarious.

    Theres this girl at my school who is REALLY fat and wears short shorts and its fucking disgusting, but thats not the point. I swear to god her eyes look in two different directions she's like a goddamn chameleon.


    So funny.

    Fabricate on
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    Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis God is love Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Dislexic wrote: »
    What's wrong with this picture?

    blackhistorymonth.jpg
    that's fucking incredible

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
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    ronzoronzo Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Gafoto wrote: »
    Bums accosting you for cash are much worse.

    This is why I like the country, when winter comes around there's nowhere for the homeless to hide.

    I guess, uh, they just die off like mosquitos when the first hard freeze hits.

    That's a little more depressing now that I think about it.

    Again, I live in Florida. We have no "cold" here. We have warm and less warm.

    Bums are a year-round occurrence.

    The hurricanes get em

    ronzo on
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    UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Man, I hate the "gas" stories. If you're running out of gas and can't afford more, you need to get your fucking priorities straight.

    UnbreakableVow on
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    I have never given a ride to a complete stranger. I've given rides to friends-of-friends or co-workers a few times with no hesitation but if you are out on the side of the road and it isn't because of some emergency situation then the only way I am going to give you a ride is if you are small enough that I know I can hold you off while steering my car in case you turn out to be some nutter who just wants some company on their ride to hell.

    Dang what if it is an emergency situation that you just can't see man

    Look it's great that you're a bleeding heart and all, but you don't have to act like you're better than people just because they are concerned for their well-being.

    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    Sheri on
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Gafoto wrote: »
    It's been 4 years almost and I still haven't got that shrimp but I'm sure he'll come through one of these days.

    Shrimp is hobospeak for 'big pile of rape'.

    Years later that bum shows up at your house with a chef hat and a silver platter covered with a lid.

    He lifts up the lid to show a big piece of paper with the word "Surprise" which you read just as the rag covers your nose and mouth and you hit the floor like a sack of potatoes.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    DislexicDislexic Creepy Uncle Bad Touch Your local playgroundRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sheri wrote: »
    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    Oh Sheri, this made me laugh so hard

    Dislexic on
    batsig.jpg
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I'm very protective of my organs, okay

    Sheri on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sheri wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    I have never given a ride to a complete stranger. I've given rides to friends-of-friends or co-workers a few times with no hesitation but if you are out on the side of the road and it isn't because of some emergency situation then the only way I am going to give you a ride is if you are small enough that I know I can hold you off while steering my car in case you turn out to be some nutter who just wants some company on their ride to hell.

    Dang what if it is an emergency situation that you just can't see man

    Look it's great that you're a bleeding heart and all, but you don't have to act like you're better than people just because they are concerned for their well-being.

    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    I am not trying to do the whole bigger man cause I care thing, mostly because I despise those people

    I am just saying that sometimes shit happens

    I'll be honest, if it hadn't been a dang high school girl, but rather a big burly dude, I probably wouldn't have done it

    But in principle, I think it is kinda worth it to take a chance on that sort of thing sometimes

    Straightzi on
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    GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Gafoto wrote: »
    It's been 4 years almost and I still haven't got that shrimp but I'm sure he'll come through one of these days.

    Shrimp is hobospeak for 'big pile of rape'.

    Years later that bum shows up at your house with a chef hat and a silver platter covered with a lid.

    He lifts up the lid to show a big piece of paper with the word "Surprise" which you read just as the rag covers your nose and mouth and you hit the floor like a sack of potatoes.

    There's no way a bum would that be clever. You'd wake up to a dirty old man bending over top of you in bed and it would be all downhill from there.

    Gafoto on
    sierracrest.jpg
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    I have never given a ride to a complete stranger. I've given rides to friends-of-friends or co-workers a few times with no hesitation but if you are out on the side of the road and it isn't because of some emergency situation then the only way I am going to give you a ride is if you are small enough that I know I can hold you off while steering my car in case you turn out to be some nutter who just wants some company on their ride to hell.

    Dang what if it is an emergency situation that you just can't see man

    Look it's great that you're a bleeding heart and all, but you don't have to act like you're better than people just because they are concerned for their well-being.

    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    I am not trying to do the whole bigger man cause I care thing, mostly because I despise those people

    I am just saying that sometimes shit happens

    I'll be honest, if it hadn't been a dang high school girl, but rather a big burly dude, I probably wouldn't have done it

    But in principle, I think it is kinda worth it to take a chance on that sort of thing sometimes

    You say that now

    But when your organs are on the highway and you're in the grass

    You won't be so damn caring then!

    Sheri on
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    StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Sheri wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Straightzi wrote: »
    I have never given a ride to a complete stranger. I've given rides to friends-of-friends or co-workers a few times with no hesitation but if you are out on the side of the road and it isn't because of some emergency situation then the only way I am going to give you a ride is if you are small enough that I know I can hold you off while steering my car in case you turn out to be some nutter who just wants some company on their ride to hell.

    Dang what if it is an emergency situation that you just can't see man

    Look it's great that you're a bleeding heart and all, but you don't have to act like you're better than people just because they are concerned for their well-being.

    Some people will pick up hitchhikers and some are afraid of getting buttraped and left on the side of the road with no organs.

    I am not trying to do the whole bigger man cause I care thing, mostly because I despise those people

    I am just saying that sometimes shit happens

    I'll be honest, if it hadn't been a dang high school girl, but rather a big burly dude, I probably wouldn't have done it

    But in principle, I think it is kinda worth it to take a chance on that sort of thing sometimes

    You say that now

    But when your organs are on the highway and you're in the grass

    You won't be so damn caring then!

    Dang fuck highway hitchhikers most of the time, that shit is illegal and I break enough laws as is

    Straightzi on
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