So - last night, a local forumer and I met up at a pub with about 6 of my friends. I will not mention names unless this person wishes to come forward.
Ha, right, so it was Darth.
Anyhoo. We meet at this English-style pub and Darth, sneaky weasel that he is, already has a hot chick that he apparently just met. Instantaneously, three things are very, very obvious about this girl:
- She's pretty goddamn drunk.
- She's fairly cute.
- She's dumber'n a bag of wet, hammered chickens
We shall, for sake of names, refer to her as Bluejay from here out.
Bluejay became a source of constant entertainment throughout the night. I am still trying to remember everything stupid that came out of her mouth, and my mind staggers.
We all caravaned to another bar, where Bluejay became even more inebriated, and at some point decided to move the party to our house. And that was where the real fun began.
ANYTHING you said to this girl, no matter what, transmogrified into something else in her brain. Seriously, seriously drunk AND stupid. Some gems:
ME: [walking staggering bimbo up front sidewalk to house] Okay, the rule is if you throw up in our house, we make you strip naked and roll around in it, ok?
BJ: But that would make my shoes hurt!
BJ: [watching capoeira video on a computer] Your wife does this?
ME: Yep.
BJ: Get her in here!
ME: What?
BJ: HAY MEL COME IN HERE AND DO CHUPACABRA
MEL: I can't do capoeira in here. This room is tiny.
BJ: How much space you need?
MEL: About three times as much space.
BJ: Well, scoot back!
[back porch, smoking with some of the partygoers]
BJ: [enters scenario] Brrrrr! It's cold out here!
ME: Yes, it is.
BJ: Too cold! [starts to go inside. It should be noted she gots some lungs, and is wearing a thin sweater]
ME: Hey, hold on. Stick your arms out like this.
BJ: [imitates Christ on the cross]
ME: Now jump up and down.
BJ: [Does so, boobies a-flyin around]
ME: Nah, you're not cold enough yet.
EVERYONE: LOL
BJ: ......HA HA... what?
The one that we all thought was the epitome of just how dumb this twat was:
BJ: [VERY drunk, rearranging word magnets on fridge] Never...shave...a....ferret! LOLOLOL
ME: So what's your stance on ass to mouth?
[spoiler:602f482fae]BJ: Oh, I don't do drugs.[/spoiler:602f482fae]
All in all, Darthwaiter was a cool guy. A+++ WOULD BLOW AGAIN LOLOL
TL;DR= No, fuck you, learn to read, fag.
Posts
They are the gaming equivalent of BJ.
Who or what is "BJ"?
There was also the Mavs Game Incident, whereupon Bluejay alternated between rooting for a basketball game that had ended three minutes ago and offering to fuck Darthwaiter.
its not pretty, i saw the after effects of a ferret rage back in Denver in 93. so many body parts just lying everywhere.
I've been trying to reach you, but your extension cord doesn't reach that far.
I have a long-standing rule of never fucking anything dumber than the hair on my nuts.
That is not for me to say, homeboy.
[edit] Although he might say once he gets done sleeping it off. We killed a LOT of Guinnui last night. My kitchen looks like the Irish Army was drinking in it.
You may be a rapist.
Only if you ask nicely.
i certainly do not have acces to a city or urban development of any type or even a shack in the desert with just one guy living on his own
man i thought this thread would be about snowballing
That'll do.
FOOT SWEATERS
cause i think that's david bowie
that's Pig in the City Babe
boo to that
not even the same pig
You remind me of the babe?
What babe?
The babe with the powerrrrrr
FOOT SWEATERS
FOOT SWEATERS
FOOT SWEATERS
FOOT SWEATERS
Man they already got through the entire chorus, where were you?
Secret Satan
cryin hard as babes could cry
what could i dooOOooo