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i took a terrible poo

2456

Posts

  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    I also hate it when it feels like the poo is running down the side of your cheek like some terrible brown raindrop and prepare for a bad wipe session

    but in reality it was a standard poo

    It's sweat.

    UnbreakableVow on
  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    You know what I hate?

    Phantom shits.

    You drop a horrible-sized log and look down and it's already gone down the bowl, you can't even admire the tree trunk you just squeezed out of your ass.

    dammit that is annoying

    i get this too sometimes

    i mean i am not going to gather around my mates to be like "guys look what i did!" but dammit when i thunder one out like that i want to take a gander at what was giving me such a hard time

    I had a roommate who would pull that shit all the time.

    He'd close the door and as soon as one of us had to go, we'd see the closed door and know what was coming.

    It was like he just wanted to show off, "Hey, this gigantic thing came out of my ass." One time he went in there after eating Zaxby's hottest chicken.

    I got a text that said "IT BURNS!"

    UnbreakableVow on
  • JC of DIJC of DI I think we're fucked up. I know I am.Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    D:
    housepede.jpg

    JC of DI on
    PJWczLu.png
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    here's a fun fact

    don't eat sunflower seeds whole. like, shell and all. sometimes, sunflower seeds are flavored and there's flavoring all over the shells

    my cousin ate a whole bag of flavored sunflower seeds whole, and you know what happens?

    your body doesn't digest the shell at all

    so you basically have shrapnel in your shit, which cuts up your asshole on it's way out

    Pony on
  • Jason ToddJason Todd Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    when i was younger i had to wipe like 10 times for one shit

    now i wipe like once, and im super-clean

    so sometime in the past 3 years i learned how to poop properly i guess

    im going to sell a how-to book and get rich (spend the money on bug repellant)

    Jason Todd on
    filefile.jpg
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited June 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    here's a fun fact

    don't eat sunflower seeds whole. like, shell and all. sometimes, sunflower seeds are flavored and there's flavoring all over the shells

    my cousin ate a whole bag of flavored sunflower seeds whole, and you know what happens?

    your body doesn't digest the shell at all

    so you basically have shrapnel in your shit, which cuts up your asshole on it's way out

    i learned that when i was like 6

    i just buy the shell-less seeds. they're much tastier

    Garlic Bread on
  • SoaLSoaL fantastic Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    I also hate it when it feels like the poo is running down the side of your cheek like some terrible brown raindrop and prepare for a bad wipe session

    but in reality it was a standard poo

    That happened.

    This was no standard poo.

    SoaL on
    DKFA7.gif
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    I am ashamed of triple-flush wipes

    maybe I'm underestimating the tissue load capacity of my toilet

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I admit, SoaL, I laughed.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Golden Crisp cereal.

    This stuff will make your shit and piss smell terrible.

    Even more terrible.

    Disgusting.

    UnbreakableVow on
  • omega71omega71 Too old for a title, too ornery to care. Sacramento, CaliRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I dont know why, but I found this thread to be pretty funny.

    omega71 on
    24.24.2.2148
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Golden Crisp cereal.

    This stuff will make your shit and piss smell terrible.

    Even more terrible.

    Disgusting.

    huh

    i did not know this

    i wonder why it does that

    Pony on
  • trantramptrantramp Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Lately my piss has been smelling like identical to my semen.

    What's going on here?

    trantramp on
  • ScrumtrulescentScrumtrulescent Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    here's a fun fact

    don't eat sunflower seeds whole. like, shell and all. sometimes, sunflower seeds are flavored and there's flavoring all over the shells

    my cousin ate a whole bag of flavored sunflower seeds whole, and you know what happens?

    your body doesn't digest the shell at all

    so you basically have shrapnel in your shit, which cuts up your asshole on it's way out

    i learned that when i was like 6

    i just buy the shell-less seeds. they're much tastier

    whoa whoa whoa you can do that

    does Davis make them

    Scrumtrulescent on
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited June 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    Golden Crisp cereal.

    This stuff will make your shit and piss smell terrible.

    Even more terrible.

    Disgusting.

    huh

    i did not know this

    i wonder why it does that

    It makes your pee smell like coffee pee

    Garlic Bread on
  • omega71omega71 Too old for a title, too ornery to care. Sacramento, CaliRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I am lactose intolerant, and if I even remotely eat/drink something with dairy in it..Oh man.

    omega71 on
    24.24.2.2148
  • Jason ToddJason Todd Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    i dont eat seeds because i am not a bird or an indian

    Jason Todd on
    filefile.jpg
  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    trantramp wrote: »
    Lately my piss has been smelling like identical to my semen.

    What's going on here?

    You're jerking it so much that your penis is confused. This is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

    UnbreakableVow on
  • UnbreakableVowUnbreakableVow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    Golden Crisp cereal.

    This stuff will make your shit and piss smell terrible.

    Even more terrible.

    Disgusting.

    huh

    i did not know this

    i wonder why it does that

    It makes your pee smell like coffee pee

    Having never had coffee, I didn't know this.

    Now I will continue avoiding coffee.

    UnbreakableVow on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    trantramp wrote: »
    Lately my piss has been smelling like identical to my semen.

    What's going on here?

    could be your prostate is putting seminal fluid in with your urine

    which is a sign of prostate problems, including possibly cancer

    i would go see a doctor

    alternately

    how often do you jerk off because sometimes you can still have semen in your urethra when you take a piss after jerking off or fucking

    Pony on
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited June 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    here's a fun fact

    don't eat sunflower seeds whole. like, shell and all. sometimes, sunflower seeds are flavored and there's flavoring all over the shells

    my cousin ate a whole bag of flavored sunflower seeds whole, and you know what happens?

    your body doesn't digest the shell at all

    so you basically have shrapnel in your shit, which cuts up your asshole on it's way out

    i learned that when i was like 6

    i just buy the shell-less seeds. they're much tastier

    whoa whoa whoa you can do that

    does Davis make them

    David and yes

    Garlic Bread on
  • slowslow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    i'm lactose intolerant, but routinely choose to man up

    and accept the punishment for my cheesy crimes

    slow on
  • ScrumtrulescentScrumtrulescent Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    Keith wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    here's a fun fact

    don't eat sunflower seeds whole. like, shell and all. sometimes, sunflower seeds are flavored and there's flavoring all over the shells

    my cousin ate a whole bag of flavored sunflower seeds whole, and you know what happens?

    your body doesn't digest the shell at all

    so you basically have shrapnel in your shit, which cuts up your asshole on it's way out

    i learned that when i was like 6

    i just buy the shell-less seeds. they're much tastier

    whoa whoa whoa you can do that

    does Davis make them

    David and yes

    s is next to d

    also this is very good news

    Scrumtrulescent on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    i bought this cereal called Guardian

    it's a type of All Bran

    it is good cereal but i don't eat it normally because if i eat that much fibre i get liquishits

    but with this drug i'm on giving me constipation it may now be the time to enjoy some guardian

    Pony on
  • Jason ToddJason Todd Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    slow wrote: »
    i'm lactose intolerant, but routinely choose to man up

    and accept the punishment for my cheesy crimes

    my slowpoke is better

    the immortal metal slowpoke

    servant of the star gods

    Jason Todd on
    filefile.jpg
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    slow wrote: »
    i'm lactose intolerant, but routinely choose to man up

    and accept the punishment for my cheesy crimes

    me too

    also my ice crimes

    whoa

    i originally was going to write "ice cream crimes"

    but i will just leave it as my brain decided it should be

    Pony on
  • slowslow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    outstanding

    slow on
  • KazhiimKazhiim __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2008
    Strawberry frosted miniwheats are the best cereal

    Kazhiim on
    lost_sig2.png
  • Garlic BreadGarlic Bread i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a bitch i'm a Registered User, Disagreeable regular
    edited June 2008
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Strawberry frosted miniwheats are the best cereal

    what???! they have those???

    Garlic Bread on
  • trantramptrantramp Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    trantramp wrote: »
    Lately my piss has been smelling like identical to my semen.

    What's going on here?

    could be your prostate is putting seminal fluid in with your urine

    which is a sign of prostate problems, including possibly cancer

    i would go see a doctor

    alternately

    how often do you jerk off because sometimes you can still have semen in your urethra when you take a piss after jerking off or fucking

    Jesus. Really?

    prostate cancer at 18? Goddamn.

    When I noticed the smell of the urine first time i hadn't had any activity for like a day or two.

    trantramp on
  • Jason ToddJason Todd Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    it is god punishing you

    Jason Todd on
    filefile.jpg
  • omega71omega71 Too old for a title, too ornery to care. Sacramento, CaliRegistered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I wish I could man up and take my dairy crimes.

    I tried that once and almost did not make it through a day of work.

    The lady at Starbucks failed to put soy milk in my coffee, and I had not realized it till I walked out the door and hopped on the light rail towards work.

    Drank the whole thing down.

    Ten or so minutes later I am at work clutching my guts and running towards the mens room..

    I was so close to not making it.

    omega71 on
    24.24.2.2148
  • slowslow Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Strawberry frosted miniwheats are the best cereal
    what???! they have those???
    tandc2.jpg

    they are pretty alright

    slow on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    trantramp wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    trantramp wrote: »
    Lately my piss has been smelling like identical to my semen.

    What's going on here?

    could be your prostate is putting seminal fluid in with your urine

    which is a sign of prostate problems, including possibly cancer

    i would go see a doctor

    alternately

    how often do you jerk off because sometimes you can still have semen in your urethra when you take a piss after jerking off or fucking

    Jesus. Really?

    prostate cancer at 18? Goddamn.

    When I noticed the smell of the urine first time i hadn't had any activity for like a day or two.

    seriously

    go to your doctor

    Pony on
  • Ani_BAni_B Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Keith wrote: »
    Kazhiim wrote: »
    Strawberry frosted miniwheats are the best cereal

    what???! they have those???

    Have you never seen the commercials? Terrible.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGqlXBx_bBc

    Ani_B on
    Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.
  • trantramptrantramp Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    trantramp wrote: »
    Pony wrote: »
    trantramp wrote: »
    Lately my piss has been smelling like identical to my semen.

    What's going on here?

    could be your prostate is putting seminal fluid in with your urine

    which is a sign of prostate problems, including possibly cancer

    i would go see a doctor

    alternately

    how often do you jerk off because sometimes you can still have semen in your urethra when you take a piss after jerking off or fucking

    Jesus. Really?

    prostate cancer at 18? Goddamn.

    When I noticed the smell of the urine first time i hadn't had any activity for like a day or two.

    seriously

    go to your doctor

    hm lemme take a piss first, make some kind of diagnosis.

    trantramp on
  • FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I had been having weird poops all week, possibly due to food poisoning. Today I had a really big poop that was totally normal and was way too happy.

    Rate it.

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    Fiz wrote: »
    I had been having weird poops all week, possibly due to food poisoning. Today I had a really big poop that was totally normal and was way too happy.

    Rate it.

    i will give your poo a five

    i grade on a bellcurve

    Pony on
  • ChomplinChomplin Not 100% a dick Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I once took a poo at a public restroom.

    It was a really bad poo, and when I finished I flushed and the water with poo just went like a fountain or some shit, it was all over the floor.

    So I just moved away from the toilet and ran the fuck away from the scene.

    Then I saw one of those cleaning ladies and I was like "hey, I just went to the bathroom and there was a toilet leaking pretty badly, just letting you know."

    Yeah, she probably knew it was me.

    Chomplin on
  • Ani_BAni_B Registered User regular
    edited June 2008
    I swear children are genetically unable to flush toilets. I clean a school that has about 100 students and everyday, without fail, there is a massive poo, unflushed in one of the 9 student toilets. Everyone poops, but goddamn it, flush the toilet, it is not hard, I don't want to see your shit, it's not as rad as mine.

    Ani_B on
    Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.
This discussion has been closed.