You drop a horrible-sized log and look down and it's already gone down the bowl, you can't even admire the tree trunk you just squeezed out of your ass.
dammit that is annoying
i get this too sometimes
i mean i am not going to gather around my mates to be like "guys look what i did!" but dammit when i thunder one out like that i want to take a gander at what was giving me such a hard time
I had a roommate who would pull that shit all the time.
He'd close the door and as soon as one of us had to go, we'd see the closed door and know what was coming.
It was like he just wanted to show off, "Hey, this gigantic thing came out of my ass." One time he went in there after eating Zaxby's hottest chicken.
I got a text that said "IT BURNS!"
UnbreakableVow on
0
JC of DII think we're fucked up.I know I am.Registered Userregular
omega71Too old for a title, too ornery to care.Sacramento, CaliRegistered Userregular
edited June 2008
I wish I could man up and take my dairy crimes.
I tried that once and almost did not make it through a day of work.
The lady at Starbucks failed to put soy milk in my coffee, and I had not realized it till I walked out the door and hopped on the light rail towards work.
Drank the whole thing down.
Ten or so minutes later I am at work clutching my guts and running towards the mens room..
It was a really bad poo, and when I finished I flushed and the water with poo just went like a fountain or some shit, it was all over the floor.
So I just moved away from the toilet and ran the fuck away from the scene.
Then I saw one of those cleaning ladies and I was like "hey, I just went to the bathroom and there was a toilet leaking pretty badly, just letting you know."
I swear children are genetically unable to flush toilets. I clean a school that has about 100 students and everyday, without fail, there is a massive poo, unflushed in one of the 9 student toilets. Everyone poops, but goddamn it, flush the toilet, it is not hard, I don't want to see your shit, it's not as rad as mine.
Ani_B on
Felt dark planet turn under my feet and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.
Posts
It's sweat.
I had a roommate who would pull that shit all the time.
He'd close the door and as soon as one of us had to go, we'd see the closed door and know what was coming.
It was like he just wanted to show off, "Hey, this gigantic thing came out of my ass." One time he went in there after eating Zaxby's hottest chicken.
I got a text that said "IT BURNS!"
don't eat sunflower seeds whole. like, shell and all. sometimes, sunflower seeds are flavored and there's flavoring all over the shells
my cousin ate a whole bag of flavored sunflower seeds whole, and you know what happens?
your body doesn't digest the shell at all
so you basically have shrapnel in your shit, which cuts up your asshole on it's way out
now i wipe like once, and im super-clean
so sometime in the past 3 years i learned how to poop properly i guess
im going to sell a how-to book and get rich (spend the money on bug repellant)
i learned that when i was like 6
i just buy the shell-less seeds. they're much tastier
That happened.
This was no standard poo.
maybe I'm underestimating the tissue load capacity of my toilet
This stuff will make your shit and piss smell terrible.
Even more terrible.
Disgusting.
huh
i did not know this
i wonder why it does that
What's going on here?
whoa whoa whoa you can do that
does Davis make them
It makes your pee smell like coffee pee
You're jerking it so much that your penis is confused. This is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
Having never had coffee, I didn't know this.
Now I will continue avoiding coffee.
could be your prostate is putting seminal fluid in with your urine
which is a sign of prostate problems, including possibly cancer
i would go see a doctor
alternately
how often do you jerk off because sometimes you can still have semen in your urethra when you take a piss after jerking off or fucking
David and yes
and accept the punishment for my cheesy crimes
s is next to d
also this is very good news
it's a type of All Bran
it is good cereal but i don't eat it normally because if i eat that much fibre i get liquishits
but with this drug i'm on giving me constipation it may now be the time to enjoy some guardian
my slowpoke is better
the immortal metal slowpoke
servant of the star gods
me too
also my ice crimes
whoa
i originally was going to write "ice cream crimes"
but i will just leave it as my brain decided it should be
what???! they have those???
Jesus. Really?
prostate cancer at 18? Goddamn.
When I noticed the smell of the urine first time i hadn't had any activity for like a day or two.
I tried that once and almost did not make it through a day of work.
The lady at Starbucks failed to put soy milk in my coffee, and I had not realized it till I walked out the door and hopped on the light rail towards work.
Drank the whole thing down.
Ten or so minutes later I am at work clutching my guts and running towards the mens room..
I was so close to not making it.
they are pretty alright
seriously
go to your doctor
Have you never seen the commercials? Terrible.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGqlXBx_bBc
hm lemme take a piss first, make some kind of diagnosis.
Rate it.
i will give your poo a five
i grade on a bellcurve
It was a really bad poo, and when I finished I flushed and the water with poo just went like a fountain or some shit, it was all over the floor.
So I just moved away from the toilet and ran the fuck away from the scene.
Then I saw one of those cleaning ladies and I was like "hey, I just went to the bathroom and there was a toilet leaking pretty badly, just letting you know."
Yeah, she probably knew it was me.