Comics¿

wobzirewobzire Registered User
edited August 2008 in Artist's Corner
Hi. Here are some comics I made:

stupid.jpg

actuallyallofit.jpg

CIEILINGCAT.jpg

itISagoodquestion.jpg

Heydadmistake.jpg

dogjoke.jpg

nextissue.jpg

mockingtree.jpg

edit: sorry hope thats better

wobzire on

Posts

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo Like a bad lobster in a dark cellar Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    You need to link them as images.

    Mojo_Jojo on
    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • DavoidDavoid Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I am not an artist, so I cannot properly criticize that aspect (it is bad), but I will tell you to find a writer.

    Davoid on
    rqv6.png
  • DMACDMAC Moderator mod
    edited August 2008
    These are terrible.

    Also, if you're going to reference masturbation so often in your comics, you should probably learn how to spell it.

    Edit: Okay, open for feedback. I hope you listen to what people have to say.

    DMAC on
  • DMACDMAC Moderator mod
    edited August 2008
    The problem with these comics, and the thousands like them out there already, is that they're neither:

    A: Well written

    or

    B: Well illustrated

    Some comics get away with being one or the other, the best are both.

    I'm sure you've shown them to some of your friends and they thought they were hilarious. Nobody is going to remember these the next day. At best, you're going to get random idiots who look at them and go "Comic 4 was teh roxxorz olololol!!!!" and move on to something else.

    DMAC on
  • DE?ADDE?AD Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Basically what DMAC said. I would, however, like to add that the phrase "Industry leading horror-porn" does in fact have great comedic potential. Sadly, the comic in which it is framed does not live up to this potential.

    DE?AD on
  • psycojesterpsycojester Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Basically what we're trying to say is that you need to apologise to the phrase "industry leading horror porn" for ruining its good name.

    psycojester on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • UncleSamUncleSam Registered User
    edited August 2008
    At the risk of being a random idiot, a few of the jokes have potential. #4 is almost passable, except for the spelling errors and the art. Ok, not almost passable. It's all words, uses a cheap "lol incest sex" setup, and doesn't use the drawing to further the joke at all. Maybe have him get his clothes stolen instead, so there's a visual (almost) joke, and you don't have to explain that his wallet is gone - you want the reader to be able to see the joke, and not have to tell them - that kind of defeats the purpose of a comic. For a second I couldn't even tell which character that was in the last panel, since his mouth went all crazy.
    In the third and last one, I don't even have a clue as to what's going on. A gun, and cars, and trees...

    UncleSam on
    SteamID : sammer105
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Yeah...I'm not sure what your motivation to do these are, so I'm not really sure where to direct you. If your one of those "I can do comics because I'm funny and I can kinda draw, so it's only a matter of time before I knock PA of it's lofty perch", i'd just tell you to fuck off and die.

    But I get the feeling that you may have some potential locked beneath this pirate horde of crappy art. So grab yourself a sketch book, download the loomis books or buy some figure drawing books from the question and discussion thread and start practicing your arse off, heads, shoulders, knees and toes. Start collating your best ideas for comics ("Industry leading horror porn" for example) and working them into the funniest situations possible, think timing and pacing. Then after about a year, you'll be good to start trying to put some of those ideas into practice and you'll have a better idea of where you want to be.

    Mustang on
  • ED!ED! Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I laughed at all of them. Well except the last one which I don't get. As for the "audience", about the only webcomic I've ever "remembered" was anything from Perry Bible Fellowship. Even Penny Arcades comics come and go. Random nonsense is a "segment" of internet-humour and with a bit more polish these could certainly be winners.

    ED! on
    "Get the hell out of me" - [ex]girlfriend
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    they're not funny because they either have no sensible progression or they just don't make sense at all.

    take the dog one for example
    there's all this build up with really tired jokes about having a pet dog. really safe jokes, like about getting them fixed and having them hump your legs, stuff that is really made for really shitty standup, kinda like "how about that airplane food" so you're reading through all these panels which are really fucking boring (multiplied by the fact that you simply copy and pasted a paint drawing) then you get to the end and it's a joke about... masturbation? really?
    I mean look at all the really good webcomics out there, perry bible fellowship, penny arcade, etc etc. The buildup is short, sweet and actually acts as a buildup, not just filler crappy jokes on the way to a slightly more edgy but still tired grade-school level joke.
    reading a comic shouldn't feel like amateur night at the local yuk yuks

    the last one just doesn't make any sense, maybe i'm missing something, i gather that it's about the environmental effect of hummers, but eh i can't be sure

    the only one that even came close to making me laugh is the one about the math problem and the kid being a mistake
    the reason why this one works is because there is a short, mildly interesting progression

    also note that your panel art changes here

    but overall the art is atrocious.

    my all in all crit is either a) webcomics are not for you or b) you need to seriously sit down and put some thought into what you're producing, where you want to go, and what you have to do to get better because right now, this is just not working.

    beavotron on
  • ThylacineThylacine Registered User
    edited August 2008
    I actually thought comic #3 about ceiling cat could have been pretty funny. The thing that ruined it for me was that I could barely tell that it was a cat falling, it took me a minute.

    Also, with a little thought it could have been set up better. This is the best I could come up with in 5 minutes.

    Jim & Bob(your characters) are at a party. Bob has a bottle of champagne he is trying to open.

    1
    Jim: "And so I told her "NEDM" could save that outfit! Hahaha!"
    Bob: trys to pop the champagne bottle "Jokes that require knowledge of internet memes are never funny."

    2
    Cork flies out of the bottle towards the ceiling, a cat screechs from above.

    3
    Cat falls down, both Bob and Jim look at cat in silence

    4
    Bob and Jim look towards viewers, breaking 4th wall of comic.


    I'm sure someone else could come up with better...I'm just saying take a little more time crafting these things.

    Thylacine on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Oh is that supposed to be a cat, I wasn't sure what it was....I thought it may have been some kind of turkey that was capable of flight.

    Mustang on
  • AaronAaron Registered User
    edited August 2008
    I think there's potential for these if this is the starting point. If these comics are the result of thought and effort, however, the plug should be pulled. The first thing that could help is stop sketching on the computer. Even the worst pencil doodles are better than bad MS Piant drawings.

    It's been said before (by Zero Punctuation, I think) that if you can't draw, then you'd better be witty but if you're not funny then you'd better be a great artist.

    Aaron on
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Place bets on the OP never coming back here again?

    NakedZergling on
  • ED!ED! Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Most likely. What funny is if you click WAY back on everyones "favorite" webcomic. . .they all pretty much started out like this. Seriously, PBF.com's art "way back" compared to now is like a whole 'nother person.

    ED! on
    "Get the hell out of me" - [ex]girlfriend
  • DMACDMAC Moderator mod
    edited August 2008
    To be fair, I locked this thread at one point and then unlocked it after a PM from the OP but he may not have checked back...

    I don't know what the goal of posting these here was. If you don't give a shit about the way your comic looks, then why post it on an art forum? If you do care about the way your comic looks, why scrawl it out in MS Paint?*

    If you're going to add another Webcomic to the glut already out there, at least do something we haven't already seen before a thousand times.


    *No offense to MS Paint Adventures.

    DMAC on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited August 2008
    DMAC wrote: »
    *No offense to MS Paint Adventures.
    Every offense to MS Paint Adventures.

    bombardier on
  • S_OS_O Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    hey fu guys

    Though I guess I should point out that with the exception of the very first image, I never actually use MS Paint.

    I mean that program is just really, really shitty.

    It's cool how I never post here.

    S_O on
  • DMACDMAC Moderator mod
    edited August 2008
    It gets less cool every time you do.

    DMAC on
  • S_OS_O Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The icons here are insufficient.

    Outsource'd.

    doublefinger.gif

    S_O on
  • JMC123JMC123 Registered User
    edited August 2008
    I'm pretty sure you all just got trolled.

    JMC123 on
  • winter_combat_knightwinter_combat_knight Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Yeah i think the original poster is full of shit. They are probably posting these because they know they are bad and just want to see the reaction from you guys. If the OP is serious... practice writing and drawing, and come back and show your progression. Show that you are serious and people will have more respect for you and will try to help you to improve.

    winter_combat_knight on
Sign In or Register to comment.