As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

Terrible Sex

145791064

Posts

  • WrenWren Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    .. D:

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    oh god.
    wow.

    beavotron on
  • gazamcgazamc Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    i have never once thought it would be a good idea to press needles through my junk. not once.

    gazamc on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    dude

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I sorta knew this guy in high school, he didn't actually go there but he helped out with a lot of the theater productions, tech stuff. He was maybe 20 or 21 at the time I was acquainted with him. Weird goth dude and a total asshole. Had a lot of weird tattoos and piercings, including several piercings on his dick, and was always trying to "show his piercings" to some of the sluttier theater girls.

    I later found out that a girlfriend of his got angry about his various and repeated unfaithfulness, and in the middle of servicing him, got a firm grip and ripped all the piercings out of his dick in one go.

    I wondered in horror what this would do to the structural integrity of one's dick, and was informed that since that day, it was like a lump of cookie dough.

    Wow. Good story.

    On an unrelated note, does anyone know how to retrieve a pair of testicles from an abdominal cavity? A...friend of mine really needs to know.

    Time is a factor here.

    Hold your nose, close your mouth and try to breath out REAL HARD

    Junpei on
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Hockey Drop.

    Man I didn't like that show but that episode was kind of funny.

    SirToasty on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I sorta knew this guy in high school, he didn't actually go there but he helped out with a lot of the theater productions, tech stuff. He was maybe 20 or 21 at the time I was acquainted with him. Weird goth dude and a total asshole. Had a lot of weird tattoos and piercings, including several piercings on his dick, and was always trying to "show his piercings" to some of the sluttier theater girls.

    I later found out that a girlfriend of his got angry about his various and repeated unfaithfulness, and in the middle of servicing him, got a firm grip and ripped all the piercings out of his dick in one go.

    I wondered in horror what this would do to the structural integrity of one's dick, and was informed that since that day, it was like a lump of cookie dough.

    Did the harpy get away with it?

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • XhaztolXhaztol Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I sorta knew this guy in high school, he didn't actually go there but he helped out with a lot of the theater productions, tech stuff. He was maybe 20 or 21 at the time I was acquainted with him. Weird goth dude and a total asshole. Had a lot of weird tattoos and piercings, including several piercings on his dick, and was always trying to "show his piercings" to some of the sluttier theater girls.

    I later found out that a girlfriend of his got angry about his various and repeated unfaithfulness, and in the middle of servicing him, got a firm grip and ripped all the piercings out of his dick in one go.

    I wondered in horror what this would do to the structural integrity of one's dick, and was informed that since that day, it was like a lump of cookie dough.

    Wow. Good story.

    On an unrelated note, does anyone know how to retrieve a pair of testicles from an abdominal cavity? A...friend of mine really needs to know.

    Time is a factor here.

    Hold your nose, close your mouth and try to breath out REAL HARD

    I thought that was for popping your ears in an airplane

    You can propel balls with it, too

    I'm learning so much here

    Xhaztol on
    kalamari.jpg
  • Tim-OTim-O Registered User
    edited August 2008
    that's why we have these threads

    education

    Tim-O on
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Septus wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I sorta knew this guy in high school, he didn't actually go there but he helped out with a lot of the theater productions, tech stuff. He was maybe 20 or 21 at the time I was acquainted with him. Weird goth dude and a total asshole. Had a lot of weird tattoos and piercings, including several piercings on his dick, and was always trying to "show his piercings" to some of the sluttier theater girls.

    I later found out that a girlfriend of his got angry about his various and repeated unfaithfulness, and in the middle of servicing him, got a firm grip and ripped all the piercings out of his dick in one go.

    I wondered in horror what this would do to the structural integrity of one's dick, and was informed that since that day, it was like a lump of cookie dough.

    Did the harpy get away with it?

    I wasn't made aware of what happened to the girlfriend after that, other than that she became an ex-girlfriend. I didn't feel much sympathy for the guy since I observed no redeemable qualities in him while we worked together.

    Grey Ghost on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I heard a story once that doing that to pop your ears can actually rupture your ear drum

    and make your brain explode out through your eyes or something awesome like that

    beavotron on
  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    man you could blow out a hymen doing that what are you crazy

    ZeroFill on
  • XhaztolXhaztol Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Fortunately, beav, that method actually has never worked for me, so I just yawn now and hope for the best. Good to know I'm preventing my own death, however fantastic that would be to witness or take part in

    Xhaztol on
    kalamari.jpg
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    I heard a story once that doing that to pop your ears can actually rupture your ear drum

    and make your brain explode out through your eyes or something awesome like that
    748411.gif

    SirToasty on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    I wasn't made aware of what happened to the girlfriend after that, other than that she became an ex-girlfriend. I didn't feel much sympathy for the guy since I observed no redeemable qualities in him while we worked together.

    He sounds like someone I couldn't stand. But then, instead of leaving him after being cheated on, she assaulted him and it sounds like disabled him from having sex or pissing normally ever again.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I just have to swallow to unpop my ears when I fly

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I wish I could fly.

    ChicoBlue on
  • Tim-OTim-O Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Zzulu wrote: »
    I just have to swallow to unpop my ears when I fly

    in the context of the rest of this thread, this sentence is.... fitting

    Tim-O on
  • XhaztolXhaztol Registered User
    edited August 2008
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I wish I could fly.

    Like an eagle, and letting your spirit carry you?

    Xhaztol on
    kalamari.jpg
  • gazamcgazamc Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I wish I could fly.

    Go speak to R Kelly.

    Just don't listen to his sex advice.

    gazamc on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    ChicoBlue wrote: »
    I wish I could fly.

    Saying "Fuck America" and "Durka Durka" won't help any.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    did r kelly get away with fucking that underage girl?

    I think I saw the video of it, but I'm not entirely sure

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    i thought he peed on someone
    wasn't that his most recent offense?
    peeing on some underage girl?

    what a class act, that r kelly

    beavotron on
  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Zzulu wrote: »
    did r kelly get away with fucking that underage girl?

    I think I saw the video of it, but I'm not entirely sure

    yeah

    even the girl was like "no that's not me"

    and apparently video-r kelly didn't have some kind of birthmark on his back that he does

    probably bullshit

    ZeroFill on
  • gazamcgazamc Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    the pee could have been added via special effects

    just like the matrix

    gazamc on
  • ZzuluZzulu Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    i thought he peed on someone
    wasn't that his most recent offense?
    peeing on some underage girl?

    what a class act, that r kelly

    Yeah that was in the video

    this (obviously underage) girl was stripping for him

    Then he pees on her

    she's all like "<3 awesome, r-kelly is pissing on me <3"

    Zzulu on
    t5qfc9.jpg
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    I think it's fair to say that we've all been pissed on by r kelly at one time or another. Metaphorically speaking.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    didactically speaking

    ZeroFill on
  • XhaztolXhaztol Registered User
    edited August 2008
    I have absolutely no follow-up to that

    Xhaztol on
    kalamari.jpg
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    A lesson is learned, but the stains on your blouse are irreversible.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • ZeroFillZeroFill Feeling much better. A nice, green leaf.Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    seminal evidence seems to explicate

    ZeroFill on
  • Tim-OTim-O Registered User
    edited August 2008
    club soda will get that stain right out

    Tim-O on
  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
  • SzechuanosaurusSzechuanosaurus Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2008
    Seminal has two meanings and it is funny to confuse them depending on context.

    Szechuanosaurus on
  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    this is probably the best thread I've ever made

    also that story about the guy having the piercings ripped out of his dick: damn

    YaYa on
  • Tweaked_Bat_Tweaked_Bat_ Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Zzulu wrote: »
    I just have to swallow to unpop my ears when I fly

    Oh yeah? Please do tell me more...

    Tweaked_Bat_ on
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Jesus christ this thread depresses me. So many mama's boys, dickweeds and insensitive pricks. Also bitches and hags. Where have all the normal people gone?

    Indie Winter on
    RCmKIvs.gif
    3034-4093-8537 on Switch
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    On Thursday night I had sex on the roof of my school.

    Is that normal?

    Graves on
  • WiseguyWiseguy __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2008
    i think generally people who frequent forums are all mutants

    we are beautiful no matter what they say
    cause words can't bring us down

    Wiseguy on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I think I'm pretty normal.
    Not really.

    Graves on
This discussion has been closed.