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New Webcomic (maybe NSFW, but it's nothing heavy)

CliffjumperCliffjumper Registered User regular
edited September 2008 in Artist's Corner
Hey everyone, I'm starting up a webcomic soon, and I was wondering what you guys thought?

bigballs.jpg

I've done a few strips, but this will probably be the first.

Thanks for your time.

WarbotPromo-1-1-2.jpg

The Transformers Fandom: Consistantly bitching about something or another since 1984.

http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/03/28/warbot_001/ - "WARBOT In Accounting"
Cliffjumper on

Posts

  • NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    If I were you, I'd stay away from the cliche self referential "Wow, I'm doing a comic strip" comic strip.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Nappuccino wrote: »
    If I were you, I'd stay away from the cliche self referential "Wow, I'm doing a comic strip" comic strip.

    Yeah, agree'd. I find a lot of people tend to LOVE doing this when they first start out a webcomic. Long-running comic strips can get away with this, but it's usually bad form to run this kind of comic early, especially first.

    NightDragon on
  • CliffjumperCliffjumper Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Thanks for that.

    Tbh the testicles swelling with pride side of the joke came first, then I had to decide upon somethin that made me proud.

    I guess I can replace comic with something else.

    Cliffjumper on
    WarbotPromo-1-1-2.jpg

    The Transformers Fandom: Consistantly bitching about something or another since 1984.

    http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/03/28/warbot_001/ - "WARBOT In Accounting"
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Linework

    Linework so good your balls well up

    The Black Hunter on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I guess I can replace comic with something else.

    I think that'd be for the best also... let that guy in the 4th panel be there in the 1st or second panel- it is kind of weird that he suddenly appears.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • EdmanEdman Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Just change "comic" to, I dunno, "youtube video," and that would help.
    I'm liking the drawing style, though.

    Edman on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    i also like the drawing style, hate the self-referencing comic, and don't get the testicles swelling with pride.

    Visual image of testicles swelling seems funny. But there really needs to be a more humorous reason for them to be doing so.

    Manliness, maybe. I could see it working with a joke about gender-roles.

    also, panel 3 needs a neck.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    i But there really needs to be a more humorous reason for them to be doing so.

    Manliness, maybe. I could see it working with a joke about gender-roles.

    I believe we have our winner.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • Castle_BuilderCastle_Builder regular
    edited September 2008
    Why even bother making a comic strip?

    If this is actually something you considered to be your FIRST strip ... the FIRST representation of your abilities that is supposed to make people interested in reading more ... then just stop now ... wait 5 years and try again.

    Your artwork has potential but your sense of humor is typical of a middle schooler that just realized he has some peach fuzz on his nut sack and that breats are a mystical doorway to Narnia.

    It seems your first thought for a joke you HAD to write was the swelling with pride aspect of the comic which is beyond stupid.

    Take that first joke and throw it out ... dig deeper ... burn the second joke ... then MAYBE MAYBE consider your third joke ...

    If your grasping the first turd out the gate your never gonna get nothing but shit on your hands.

    Castle_Builder on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    what are these breats you speak of?

    and how do i get them?

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • srsizzysrsizzy Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Why even bother making a comic strip?

    ...NOM NOM NOM...

    If your grasping the first turd out the gate your never gonna get nothing but shit on your hands.
    Wow, this is absurdly and unnecessarily harsh. You don't know anything about his sense of humor, or his complete artistic abilities. 5 years? Where's that figure from? You're throwing out a bunch of random advice that means nothing. Not to mention...tons of people like really immature and stupid humor, so don't impose your opinion on someone else based off of ONE example of their work.


    So, as for the actual topic of the thread: It's not that funny, except I'd say for the expressions, and I'd give it a few more tries to see what you can produce in terms of humor. I think the art is great for just a casual strip sort of thing.

    srsizzy on
    BRO LET ME GET REAL WITH YOU AND SAY THAT MY FINGERS ARE PREPPED AND HOT LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE SUN TO BRING RADICAL BEATS SO SMOOTH THE SHIT WILL BE MEDICINAL-GRADE TRIPNASTY MAKING ALL BRAINWAVES ROLL ON THE SURFACE OF A BALLS-FEISTY NEURAL RAINBOW CRACKA-LACKIN' YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE HERE-NOW SPACE-TIME SITUATION THAT ALL OF LIFE BE JAMMED UP IN THROUGH THE UNIVERSAL FLOW BEATS
  • PolksterPolkster Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Hey my first comic sucked. So did the second, and the third, and the fourth... and the one hundred and fiftieth. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy doing it. Keep at it, you'll find your style, your stride, and your audience.

    Polkster on
  • CliffjumperCliffjumper Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    srsizzy wrote: »
    Why even bother making a comic strip?

    ...NOM NOM NOM...

    If your grasping the first turd out the gate your never gonna get nothing but shit on your hands.
    Wow, this is absurdly and unnecessarily harsh. You don't know anything about his sense of humor, or his complete artistic abilities. 5 years? Where's that figure from? You're throwing out a bunch of random advice that means nothing. Not to mention...tons of people like really immature and stupid humor, so don't impose your opinion on someone else based off of ONE example of their work.


    So, as for the actual topic of the thread: It's not that funny, except I'd say for the expressions, and I'd give it a few more tries to see what you can produce in terms of humor. I think the art is great for just a casual strip sort of thing.

    Srsizzy, thanks for that. Appreciate it.

    Castle builder, it's just a bit of fun, mellow out. :) That condescending tone wasn't really necessary.

    But yeh, thanks again for your criticism and advice everyone, I intend to keep at it with your suggestions in mind.

    Cliffjumper on
    WarbotPromo-1-1-2.jpg

    The Transformers Fandom: Consistantly bitching about something or another since 1984.

    http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/03/28/warbot_001/ - "WARBOT In Accounting"
  • SirJogsSirJogs new member
    edited September 2008
    LOLZ this comic is the BOMBZ!!

    SirJogs on
  • MustangMustang Arbiter of Unpopular Opinions Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    the BOMBZ?

    Mustang on
  • PolksterPolkster Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I think what he meant to say was "the bomb diggity".

    Polkster on
  • Castle_BuilderCastle_Builder regular
    edited September 2008
    yes people like trash

    but that doesnt make it good

    its not that this comic is bad ... its that it reads as though no thought was put into it at all what so ever

    the artwork is mediocre but shows promise, and yet it looks like a sketch and nothing more, as though it was more important to put something on paper then to actually do it right and make something worth looking at

    the writting is just bad ... no other word for it ... as though you had 1 thing you thought was an interesting phrase and then felt you had to surround it with context but the context is even worse then the phrase

    there are tone of crap movies and comics out there but many of them are crap IN SPITE of the people working on them having put a LOT of WORK and EFFORT into them

    when people work hard at something ... even if its crap ... it can be interesting to read or watch because there are things to learn about the decisions the creators made and the effects of those decisions on the resulting product

    in this case there are no decisions being made ... MAYBE maybe the tears in the eyes on the third panel is remotely telling and interesting of the ability of the creator to do something subtle and remotely compelling

    but other then that this comic is trash

    not because the final product is trash

    but because it feels like the artist didnt even bothing putting his best foot forward

    as though you dont care enough about your work to actually WORK on it

    and if YOU dont care

    why the fuck should anyone?

    Castle_Builder on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I for one, really enjoy your style of comics. Make a whole bunch more on absurd subjects and then post them. Even though the joke itself was not funny, I still found the characters and expressions to be hilarious.

    earthwormadam on
  • PhorcysPhorcys Registered User regular
    edited September 2008

    the writting is just bad ... no other word for it ...

    you dont care enough about your work to actually WORK on it and if YOU dont care why the fuck should anyone?
    Untitled-1.jpg

    Try offering some constructive criticism, rather than just mere criticism.

    Phorcys on
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    Read my crappy comic. Oh man, it just sucks so hard.

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  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    If I could throw cards for good posts, I would be honored to give one to Phorcys for the above.

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
  • DeeLockDeeLock Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yeah...castle builder...do you have something against this guy?

    Did he offend you?

    Cuz i don't see why you would get so up in arms against this humble little comic...

    I think the art is good, not great, but the style of it is fresh and unique.

    The writing isn't as bad as you make it out to be...it made me laugh...which is kinda hard to do.

    So...good job guy...make more.

    DeeLock on
  • CliffjumperCliffjumper Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Thanks again guys.

    Cliffjumper on
    WarbotPromo-1-1-2.jpg

    The Transformers Fandom: Consistantly bitching about something or another since 1984.

    http://www.nuklearpower.com/2009/03/28/warbot_001/ - "WARBOT In Accounting"
  • Shiva_defeatsShiva_defeats Registered User new member
    edited September 2008
    Hey

    Sweet comic. I like the style, simple but effective to reflecting the characters emotions. The joke is funny, just because it's not to your taste doesn't mean it's crap. :D Keep it up!


    Oh and Phorcys f**cking owned you Castle Builder.

    Shiva_defeats on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I think it's a pretty good start, the expressions made me smile, post a few more.

    beavotron on
  • Jake!Jake! Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    It's ironic, because the comic appears to be about Castle_Builder's opinion of his own artistic ability and by extension his authority to criticise others.

    Personally, I like it as a one off, although it's hard to see where the humour will build from here.

    Jake! on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I for one, really enjoy your style of comics. Make a whole bunch more on absurd subjects and then post them. Even though the joke itself was not funny, I still found the characters and expressions to be hilarious.

    This. It's been a week and a half, man. Post some more drawings, comic or not. The look you have seems to be a mix between River City Ransom and Crayon Shinchan, and that I approve of.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Yeah, the thing about a good comic is that it makes people want to read it again. A good comic will be funny if you read the same strips or bits over again next month, and while not everything can be a home run, it's good to not just bunt for each comic.

    In your case, this is entertaining as a "middle strip" potentially. Is this a "mary jane" comic or are these your characters? What's your story/angle? I'm not going to make shit up and say that every successful comic starts with a vision, but having an angle or general idea of where you're going leads to fewer restarts (which are lame) and fewer missed comics (also lame). Readers hate nothing more than a comic going on hiatus while it's "rebooted."

    So where does this go? Who is this guy, and why should I care about his beanbag testicles? Also, are these actual beanbags (which are small things, such as you throw into a box w/ a hole in it in the yard game) or the beanbag chairs that people sit on? Arguably, the chairs. Well, there's the brand called Love Sac, so I think you know where you could go with that. Also, the "main character"'s pupils make him look like he's on E or something, which makes sense in the middle panels but not so much in the first and last. Unless, you know, he's on E.

    EggyToast on
    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • Castle_BuilderCastle_Builder regular
    edited September 2008
    Phorcys wrote: »

    the writting is just bad ... no other word for it ...

    you dont care enough about your work to actually WORK on it and if YOU dont care why the fuck should anyone?
    Untitled-1.jpg

    Try offering some constructive criticism, rather than just mere criticism.

    Thats cute. You actually spent time on me. Cheers!

    Castle_Builder on
  • PolksterPolkster Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    If it were me, I'dve detailed the genitalia.

    Polkster on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter The key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple, unimpeachable reason to existRegistered User regular
    edited September 2008
    the what?

    The Black Hunter on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Polkster wrote: »
    If it were me, I'dve detailed the genitalia.

    hahahah this is sig-worthy
    one of you assholes sig this, i don't have enough space in mine.

    beavotron on
  • FutoreFutore Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    KC Green, whatchu doin' in da AC?

    Futore on
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