Pssst... What's The Answer To Number 1?

Si Senor · January 2007

reposted from the thai film thread.

so, have you ever tried something like this?

me, I put question marks after the phrase 'there are no questions on this page' rendering them 'there are no questions on this page?'

yeah, I'm hardcore.

Gosling · January 2007

The last picture sums up my understanding perfectly.

The Green Eyed Monster · January 2007

I once had an economics test with a question re: supply and demand and it used heroin as its sample product. I didn't even attempt to answer the question, I just wrote about how heroin addiction is not a trivial matter and not to be lightly bandied about as a gimmicky test question, and how it was the worst question I've ever encountered in all my year's of schooling, etc. I got a 0 and an explanation for what the right answer is, but I think the teacher was kind of afraid of me after that, so it actually worked out pretty well.

Drez · January 2007

Senor: priceless

Celery: priceless

As for myself, it wasn't on a test and isn't as funny or anything, but I had a 19 page paper chopped up into 9 separate essays for my English 215 final in college. It was an animal rights English class. And the teacher was a strict vegan and we butted heads in class because, well, I think we should eat meat and the vegan philosophy is retarded.

I hadn't done much research, so I basically slanted everything toward the fact that vegan philosophy is stupid and that humans we built as omnivores, so they should eat meat and plants.

Surprisingly, I got an A- and a note "be a philosopher," which I did not expect.

Elendil · January 2007

http://www.penny-arcade.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=207842

Premier kakos · January 2007

On one of my finals, the final question was "What is your name?". I wrote a long objection about how this wasn't in the review, nor was it even in the class syllabus, and that putting the question on the final was unfair and I would be talking to the Ombusdman about it.

Der Waffle Mous · January 2007

Wasn't there a version of this that was pretty much an entire test that someone scanned?

Premier kakos · January 2007

It's not real, but it should be posted regardless.

Planes, Trains, and Plantains: The Story of Oedipus

Werewulfy · January 2007

never gets old

Ballman · January 2007

I laughed really, really hard at "gleetres."

This isn't the first time I've read it, even. Still hilarious. I think I'm going to go get a doctorate in Psychology/Psychiatry and petition to get the gleetre to be an official SI unit of happiness in the field.

fjafjan · January 2007

I always forget about the elephants...

agoaj · January 2007

Werewulfy wrote:

never gets old

El Plagiarismo!

ElJeffe · January 2007

On some engineering exam - I think it was in a mechatronics class, which I hated - there was some question where we were supposed to explain some concept or term. I just wrote, "Look, a bunny!" and then drew a picture of a bunny eating a carrot.

I don't think I did well on that test.

fjafjan · January 2007

mtvcdm wrote:

The last picture sums up my understanding perfectly.

8 - (something which is almost almost but not QUITE! to the border of infinity 8) = infinitly small

1 /something infinitly small = something infinitly big.

Si Senor · January 2007

I know a man who claims to have answered his philosophy paper's question ('is this a question?') with 'only if this is an answer.' and got an A, the liar.

redx · January 2007

I used to fuck up arithmatic so I could avoid having to do trig subsitutions.

like, I'd reverse a sign or something, and only get knocked for a small portion of the problem.

The Green Eyed Monster · January 2007

Oh yeah, one time at a really horrible community college, I took a Race Relations in the US class, and we watched this movie The Color of Fear. I skipped one of the classes where we were watching it because I actually find it really offensive when lecturers just show films, plus I skip class a lot.

Anyway, on the test there was a multiple choice question "What was the theme of the film "The Color of Fear"? i]sic[/i" and then there were five options. I just circled one and then wrote above it "I answer this question under protest as it's obviously quite subjective." Anyway she didn't like that, and when I got my test back she put something like "If you don't like my class then you can just leave" in red pen alongside it (or something to that effect), to which I took a bit of offense because you don't tell your students to leave.

So I got a little snotty (well, extremely snotty) and wrote her a letter saying in fact I was going to leave, I was never attending her class again if she couldn't respond in a civil fashion to a legitimate (if smarmy) complaint about a terrible question. I also took time to point out you don't put the title of films in quotation marks, among other things. It was A-grade smarminess, top-notch stuff. Anyway she wrote me back and called me a small, hateful little man and hoped I never went into teaching because I was like a bigot or a jerk or something. Hers was just flatly mean whereas mine was like self-aware and I admitted to being petty, said I accepted the F on the class I recognized I was earning, but said I didn't care because her "just leave" comment was extremely petty itself. It's all pretty funny in retrospect.

Should also be noted when handing back the tests she said, "I went ahead and didn't mark anyone down for question #4 (the question I protested) because apparently you guys had a really hard time with that one -- everybody seemed to be missing it so I just took it off you scores."

Fucking idiot. I have even more stories of what a nightmare she was, but they're all irrelevant now anyways.

nexuscrawler · January 2007

for an Enlgish ezam one of my freinds in college didn't read any of the books. for the answer to all his essay questions he plotted and draw a perfect line graph illustrating when people handed in thier tests. I think he failed that one.

Fellhand · January 2007

nexuscrawler wrote:

for an Enlgish ezam one of my freinds in college didn't read any of the books. for the answer to all his essay questions he plotted and draw a perfect line graph illustrating when people handed in thier tests. I think he failed that one.

English class huh? You do well in that class?

Doc · January 2007

One of my friends had to write a paper on the theme to a series of short stories. The stories mostly along the lines of young people rebelling against established culture.

So his paper highlighted the theme of "old people are set in their ways, no matter how stupid those ways might be." He knew this would go against what she was expecting, since that wasn't exactly her style.

The prof (an older woman), returned his paper, calling it very "ageist." He sent her a note saying that his paper and opinions aren't "ageist," but rather the content of the stories, which he had meticulously cited. She didn't care, and gave him a D on the paper. Stupid bitch.

nexuscrawler · January 2007

Fellhand wrote:

nexuscrawler wrote:

for an Enlgish ezam one of my freinds in college didn't read any of the books. for the answer to all his essay questions he plotted and draw a perfect line graph illustrating when people handed in thier tests. I think he failed that one.

English class huh? You do well in that class?

It's called no proofreading ones typing becasue you're no supposed to post at work

redx · January 2007

Doc wrote:

Stupid old bitch.

fixxed.

mirite?

Doc · January 2007

redx wrote:

Doc wrote:

Stupid old bitch.

fixxed.

mirite?

The irony of her being set in her opinion was not lost on him, though.

Torso Boy · January 2007

An English Test wrote:

Name two mythological heroes who traveled to the underworld.

[spoiler:6f635f1523]Bill & Ted[/spoiler:6f635f1523]

Cantide · January 2007

A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

Fucker got an A+.

Doc · January 2007

Cantide wrote:

A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

Fucker got an A+.

http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/jordan.hunt.shtml

Drez · January 2007

Cantide wrote:

A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

Fucker got an A+.

To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

edit: beat'd

Doc · January 2007

Drez wrote:

Cantide wrote:

A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

Fucker got an A+.

To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

She'd probably read the same book and decided that his plot was better.

Coldred · January 2007

There are a couple of fairly funny urban legends involving exams at my old Uni (ignoring the stupid fact that we had to wear a suit, white bowtie and gown to all our exams.)

First was that in the old Uni exam regs apparently there is a clause that allows students to request a pint of mead to drink during their exams. It is however not worth trying, the last guy to do it was fined around six shillings for not having a sword at his side ready to defend Queen and Country.

The second is that if you jump off Magdelen Tower and survive you are guaranteed a First (top ranking degree). And thirdly if you can shoot an arrow down Cornmarket street (a fairly major and busy street in the city) you also get a first. As far as I know, no-one's tried the last two. (Although a fair number of people have jumped off the tower before exams, so who knows.)

Drez · January 2007

Doc wrote:

Drez wrote:

Cantide wrote:

A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

Fucker got an A+.

To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

She'd probably read the same book and decided that his plot was better.

Quite possibly. ;-)

The Green Eyed Monster · January 2007

A friend of mine went to the Art Institute in San Francisco (that's the more prestigious, non-TV advertised one, right?) and there was a story about a guy who was doing a performance art piece for his final where he would jump off this big, high, second story location to this tree next to it, and well obviously he missed and fell and really hurt himself, with the whole class outside to watch it. Funny stuff.

Cantide · January 2007

Drez wrote:

Doc wrote:

Drez wrote:

Cantide wrote:

A friend of mine had an English essay where he had to choose a book he'd read and analyze it. He started to write about Robert Jordan's "The Great Hunt", but realized within a few minutes that he didn't remember most of the story. Instead of rereading the book or looking up a summary, he just made up a new plot and wrote about that.

Fucker got an A+.

To be fair to your friend, there was no plot to forget.

She'd probably read the same book and decided that his plot was better.

Quite possibly. ;-)

He showed me the graded essay, and it was a beautiful thing; the plot summary read like the cover of a powermetal album. It was all "...then the dragons swooped in to join the fray, and Rand called upon the power of saidin and was encased in black armor while wielding a sword of fire.."

flamebroiledchicken · January 2007

The only "cool" thing I've ever done is- one of my college admissions essays was retardedly vague, it was something like "Who are you? We acknowledge the unique characteristics of all our students so using your medium of choice, describe yourself to us" I opened with the sentence "It all started when my father impregnated my mother." I got in.

Also, in trigonometry, I would always try to illustrate word problems in high detail. Like, if we were doing stuff with tan, cos, and sin and the question was something like "Billy is standing X feet away from a lighthouse, which is Y feet tall. What is the hypotenuse?" Instead of just drawing a triangle, I would draw a really detailed lighthouse, with the bricks all shaded and a little coast, and then I would have Billy looking up at it, and so on.

Loren Michael · January 2007

I had to write a paper on this book for a Psych class a while back called Rag Doll: A Journey of Healing and Integration about a lady with multiple personalities.

She visited our class and had a nervous breakdown when her psychic powers didn't work.

I read the book, and its content was not dissimilar to the movie What the (BLEEP) do we Know?!?.

I had my mother (an actual mental health counselor, not a shitty community college quasi-teacher) write a nasty letter instead of the paper I was supposed to turn in, 'cause I have an aversion to the degrees of bullshit the assignment required. I did not do well.

Eat it You Nasty Pig. · January 2007

Back in high school I inserted nine pages of my English "thesis" on Kesey into a longish paper from my econ class. This part of a bet with a classmate; he bet five dollars that our teacher would notice, and I said he wouldn't. I did a find/replace on certain key words, so that brief skimming wouldn't reveal my deception, and proceeded to get an A on the paper.

redx · January 2007

So... in a sophmore english class, we had to give an in class presentation about a book any of a half dozen books we read in class. One of them, and I can't for the life of me rember which, was also made into a movie. Now... the movie was pretty loosely based on the book, so dumb bitch gets up and talks for 5 minutes psychoanalyzing so minor plot point.

I looked around the classroom, with a contences of aww on my face and trying not to laugh. This wasn't actually happening. Everyone else is nodding along and taking notes. Surely someone else is going to notice. Rapt attention and folks being having thier own interpertaions confirmed. You've got to be kidding me. Did I skip a chapter or something? She raps up and it is time for question and answers time. no. I can't say it. I can't ask it can I? I don't dare. The other kids fire off a few simple questions, and I notice a slight look of horror and then recognition and then resignation creeping across the teachers face.

after class I approach the teacher.
"So, none of that was actually in the book right?"

"Yep." She looked like she was going to cry, no one else in the class of 30 had bothered to read the material.

Came back to bite a lot of them on the midterm, cause she'd apprently gone though and found every diffrence betweem the book and the movie and made them into test questions.

Ballman · January 2007

My high school history teacher always liked to tell a story that when he was in college, he inserted a cookie recipe into a term paper and didn't get caught.

Not as interesting, but in high school english we were once given the task of writing a short paper about one of our relatives, and so I completely made up an uncle "who wasn't really an uncle; he was just a close friend that my parents introduced to me as "uncle" whateverhisnamewas." I got an A on the paper, and I should have, because it was well-written, but it didn't have an ounce of truth to it.

Loren Michael · January 2007

Ballman wrote:

My high school history teacher always liked to tell a story that when he was in college, he inserted a cookie recipe into a term paper and didn't get caught.

Not as interesting, but in high school english we were once given the task of writing a short paper about one of our relatives, and so I completely made up an uncle "who wasn't really an uncle; he was just a close friend that my parents introduced to me as "uncle" whateverhisnamewas." I got an A on the paper, and I should have, because it was well-written, but it didn't have an ounce of truth to it.

Just don't do Oprah, and stay the hell away from The Smoking Gun.

redx · January 2007

meh, I'm not that intresting. Nearly everything I've ever had to write or say about myself in a class asignment was bullshit.

FunkyWaltDogg · January 2007

I went to a residential high school that was really great, except for the required economics class which was total garbage. We had to write a ten-page paper on some topic I don't recall. I got to about a page and a half before giving up. The solution: The Jargonator from Dilbert's Desktop Games. I ran my paper through the Jargonator over and over again until it was eight pages or so, added my conclusion to the end, and turned it in. I got a low B.

Drez · January 2007

Someone should submit the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air rap into their paper and submit.

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