ALthough you could then argue that sleeping with a prostitute is fine because there's no relationship involved.
There is a sexual relation though. The way I see it, porn's ok because it's just visual stimulation for masturbation, the same way a fake vagina or a dildo/vibrator are here to replace your hands (or hers), and not to replace the person.
Webcam sex with some girl, cybersex, fucking a prostitute, all of that stuff involves a real person at the other end. Cybersex involves a real person, even if she's (or he, actually, you know how it is online) hidden behind the screen.
ALthough you could then argue that sleeping with a prostitute is fine because there's no relationship involved.
There is a sexual relation though. The way I see it, porn's ok because it's just visual stimulation for masturbation, the same way a fake vagina or a dildo/vibrator are here to replace your hands (or hers), and not to replace the person.
Webcam sex with some girl, cybersex, fucking a prostitute, all of that stuff involves a real person at the other end. Cybersex involves a real person, even if she's (or he, actually, you know how it is online) hidden behind the screen.
Well, porn has a real person at the other end, I think the difference however is in their interactivity and the level of intimacy involved.
Had this been an A.I. controlled character, would there still be a problem? In what ways would cheating in the form of prostitution in person vs. the digital realm with a digital character be different if at all?
I'm flirty in real-life despite being engaged. I'd never go further than flirting though. I'm probably less flirty (if at all) on-line because I don't really see the point.
You use semi-colons in your smileys don't you?
EDIT: That was supposed to be a colon!!
My serious opinion of it is that it would be cheating. I know certain people have relationships that are more "open" than others, but if you're doing it without discussing it with your wife, I think you know it's cheating. I know my wife would never want me to resort to porn, strippers, prostitutes, or online anything. Our relationship is such that she is fully satisfying to me and vice-versa. If it ever drops from that, discussion should take place to return it to that level.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
ArcSyn on
0
acidlacedpenguinInstitutionalizedSafe in jail.Registered Userregular
edited November 2008
I'm confused. Did the dude meet his wife in game and became virtual husband and wife in the game, or did he meet his wife in game, married her in real life, then started in on a girl he met in game?
that first situation is trolling as an art and should be considering as nothing less than epic win, the second situation is just as much cheating as going to a sexual chat room to chat with other women.
finally, shouldn't you be wary of the how and why of meeting someone and gaining emotional attachment to them online?
Porn has a real person but you're not interacting with them, they've recorded a movie ahead and didn't plan on anyone in particular watching it. They released a form of entertainment to the adult public. It's not the same with a prostitute.
As for strip clubs, yeah, that's a grey area. I don't know that I'd call it cheating, but going to strip clubs without your wife knowing/being ok with it is definitely a wrongful act. Is it cheating? I dunno. But it's not ok.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Woah there. Porn is another category. As I've already specified, except for some people who do have a problem, porn is nothing more than a tool to make masturbation more enjoyable or quicker. And masturbating is something even men and women with a healthy love/sex life do. It's not INSTEAD of sex. It's along with sex.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
I hate this argument. Sometimes, yes - I would rather spend time watching porn than with my wife.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I'm saying it is something that I think would pop into most people's heads if it happened. Hence the most, not "all". Why else do we see stories like this where the wife is ticked when she finds her husband online like the OP has it?
I don't think it's ridiculous and my wife would definitely have a problem with it. I would too, so it works out well with us. And no, she does not need to grow up.
I'm human too, but I would rather spend time with my wife than watch porn.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I'm saying it is something that I think would pop into most people's heads if it happened. Hence the most, not "all". Why else do we see stories like this where the wife is ticked when she finds her husband online like the OP has it?
I don't think it's ridiculous and my wife would definitely have a problem with it. I would too, so it works out well with us. And no, she does not need to grow up.
I'm human too, but I would rather spend time with my wife than watch porn.
Well the first problem here is that you're using the majorities ideas of something related to a relationship as useful. It isn’t, like at all, the average person has incredibly fucked up views of how a relationship should work. So we can safely ignore what they think. The second is that you’d rather be with your wife then do x, we in itself is pretty ridiculous. I doubt you spend one hundred percent of the time together, and if you do I can’t see that being at all healthy. So you’re just making arbitrary distinctions between what you do alone.
Which means the real question is why does my wife/I have a problem with the other watching porn? Is it because I see it as them cheating on me? If so the answer is grow up and realise the distinction, is it because I have ridiculously puritanical views towards sex? Or is it because I’m so possessive that I hate to see him having time away from me? In which case I need to really sort out those issues and find out what’s making me so damn possessive.
I think this really boils down to the people involved. Trying to universally define "cheating" or what is wrong in a relationship isn't very fruitful. Even if we were to argue about it for months and come up with a definition we all agreed on, if there was a couple out there wherein the husband went to strip clubs all the time and we said that was cheating, I don't think the wife would give two shits if we told her what we thought. On the other hand, if we decided looking at porn isn't cheating and yet someone's husband really didn't like his wife looking at it, our verdict on the matter isn't going to change his outlook. It's really just about what each couple is comfortable with.
For my part, I would be very upset if my girlfriend was having an online relationship (sexual or romantic or both) with someone else and I would never do that to her. But we're both fine with the other watching porn and personally I wouldn't be bothered if she was having virtual sex with some sort of AI. For me, it's the human element that causes problems. Simulated sex or sex acts are fine but when you throw in another person, that's when I feel like someone's territory is being encroached on.
But of course that's just me. I'm sure some couples out there are perfectly fine with one or both partners having sex with strangers, prostitutes, or what have you. I'm certainly not going to try to argue that those couples are wrong and I'm right. They are just in a type of relationship that I am not comfortable with.
Speaking more generally about online personality and accountability, I find I'm actually a nicer person online than in RealLife. Is that weird? o_O
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I'm saying it is something that I think would pop into most people's heads if it happened. Hence the most, not "all". Why else do we see stories like this where the wife is ticked when she finds her husband online like the OP has it?
I don't think it's ridiculous and my wife would definitely have a problem with it. I would too, so it works out well with us. And no, she does not need to grow up.
I'm human too, but I would rather spend time with my wife than watch porn.
Well the first problem here is that you're using the majorities ideas of something related to a relationship as useful. It isn’t, like at all, the average person has incredibly fucked up views of how a relationship should work. So we can safely ignore what they think. The second is that you’d rather be with your wife then do x, we in itself is pretty ridiculous. I doubt you spend one hundred percent of the time together, and if you do I can’t see that being at all healthy. So you’re just making arbitrary distinctions between what you do alone.
Which means the real question is why does my wife/I have a problem with the other watching porn? Is it because I see it as them cheating on me? If so the answer is grow up and realise the distinction, is it because I have ridiculously puritanical views towards sex? Or is it because I’m so possessive that I hate to see him having time away from me? In which case I need to really sort out those issues and find out what’s making me so damn possessive.
The problem Arcsyn makes is that it seems you should spend time with your wife every time you're thinking of watching porn instead, and that the implication is that we spend time with porn rather than our wife every time we'd spend time with her.
Let's repeat it another time: Porn is a TOOL for masturbation much like a toilet is a tool for crapping and pissing. Masturbation is a need (or a want, rather) that arises every so often, even when in a relationship. Not every single moment should be spent with your wife, nor should every moment be spent without her.
I'm also not convinced you and your wife can have sex every single moment you feel like jerking off. Feel like it, wife's not here? Grab a porn movie (or pics, or just your imagination, the good ol' fashioned way) and spend somewhere between 5 and 45 minutes having physical fun, just like when you're eating something very tasty but empty in nutritional value, or when you scratch a bug bite even though you know you shouldn't.
For my part, I would be very upset if my girlfriend was having an online relationship (sexual or romantic or both) with someone else and I would never do that to her. But we're both fine with the other watching porn and personally I wouldn't be bothered if she was having virtual sex with some sort of AI. For me, it's the human element that causes problems. Simulated sex or sex acts are fine but when you throw in another person, that's when I feel like someone's territory is being encroached on.
But of course that's just me. I'm sure some couples out there are perfectly fine with one or both partners having sex with strangers, prostitutes, or what have you. I'm certainly not going to try to argue that those couples are wrong and I'm right. They are just in a type of relationship that I am not comfortable with.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I'm saying it is something that I think would pop into most people's heads if it happened. Hence the most, not "all". Why else do we see stories like this where the wife is ticked when she finds her husband online like the OP has it?
I don't think it's ridiculous and my wife would definitely have a problem with it. I would too, so it works out well with us. And no, she does not need to grow up.
I'm human too, but I would rather spend time with my wife than watch porn.
Well the first problem here is that you're using the majorities ideas of something related to a relationship as useful. It isn’t, like at all, the average person has incredibly fucked up views of how a relationship should work. So we can safely ignore what they think.
Just because you wish to ignore what the majority thinks doesn't mean that my thought about what they might think (which was a proposition, not a statement or fact) is wrong. I was not stating that it was the only way to think, nor was I stating that it was the correct way to think. I was merely pondering what the majority of society would think about a certain situation.
The second is that you’d rather be with your wife then do x, we in itself is pretty ridiculous. I doubt you spend one hundred percent of the time together, and if you do I can’t see that being at all healthy. So you’re just making arbitrary distinctions between what you do alone.
No, we do not spend 100% of our time together. No, I do not always want to spend every time we are together just cuddling on the couch. However, I do think that if I want to be sexually aroused, I would rather do so with my wife, a real person, than with a computer monitor or TV. It's personal preference.
Which means the real question is why does my wife/I have a problem with the other watching porn? Is it because I see it as them cheating on me? If so the answer is grow up and realise the distinction, is it because I have ridiculously puritanical views towards sex? Or is it because I’m so possessive that I hate to see him having time away from me? In which case I need to really sort out those issues and find out what’s making me so damn possessive.
Perhaps they do see it as cheating, and they probably should have discussed it earlier, or discuss it now before it gets worse. The answer is not to "grow up" because that is an incredibly short-sighted answer. The answer is to talk about it. That's how relationships work.
Is it a reasonably fine puritanical (or religious) view? That's also fine, and in my case, yes, my wife and I are Christians. It's not unhealthy and I would argue that our relationship is one of the best I have seen.
If it is a possessive thing, then yes, one could mark it down as a psychological problem that should be corrected, but it may also be the fact that they believe that marriage takes two individuals and joins them in such a way that it is wrong for the other to seek out something they could easily get from their mate.
I'm not being judgmental here. I'm not making personal attacks. I was simply pondering a thought that i think the majority of people may share. The statement that my wife or I need to grow up or have "ridiculous" puritanical beliefs is not cool, and I would appreciate it to stop. People have different beliefs and we don't need to condemn each other for holding to them. This isn't SE++, so lets continue to talk about the differences between online and offline interactions between people.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I'm saying it is something that I think would pop into most people's heads if it happened. Hence the most, not "all". Why else do we see stories like this where the wife is ticked when she finds her husband online like the OP has it?
I don't think it's ridiculous and my wife would definitely have a problem with it. I would too, so it works out well with us. And no, she does not need to grow up.
I'm human too, but I would rather spend time with my wife than watch porn.
Well the first problem here is that you're using the majorities ideas of something related to a relationship as useful. It isn’t, like at all, the average person has incredibly fucked up views of how a relationship should work. So we can safely ignore what they think. The second is that you’d rather be with your wife then do x, we in itself is pretty ridiculous. I doubt you spend one hundred percent of the time together, and if you do I can’t see that being at all healthy. So you’re just making arbitrary distinctions between what you do alone.
Which means the real question is why does my wife/I have a problem with the other watching porn? Is it because I see it as them cheating on me? If so the answer is grow up and realise the distinction, is it because I have ridiculously puritanical views towards sex? Or is it because I’m so possessive that I hate to see him having time away from me? In which case I need to really sort out those issues and find out what’s making me so damn possessive.
The problem Arcsyn makes is that it seems you should spend time with your wife every time you're thinking of watching porn instead, and that the implication is that we spend time with porn rather than our wife every time we'd spend time with her.
Let's repeat it another time: Porn is a TOOL for masturbation much like a toilet is a tool for crapping and pissing. Masturbation is a need (or a want, rather) that arises every so often, even when in a relationship. Not every single moment should be spent with your wife, nor should every moment be spent without her.
I'm also not convinced you and your wife can have sex every single moment you feel like jerking off. Feel like it, wife's not here? Grab a porn movie (or pics, or just your imagination, the good ol' fashioned way) and spend somewhere between 5 and 45 minutes having physical fun, just like when you're eating something very tasty but empty in nutritional value, or when you scratch a bug bite even though you know you shouldn't.
For my part, I would be very upset if my girlfriend was having an online relationship (sexual or romantic or both) with someone else and I would never do that to her. But we're both fine with the other watching porn and personally I wouldn't be bothered if she was having virtual sex with some sort of AI. For me, it's the human element that causes problems. Simulated sex or sex acts are fine but when you throw in another person, that's when I feel like someone's territory is being encroached on.
But of course that's just me. I'm sure some couples out there are perfectly fine with one or both partners having sex with strangers, prostitutes, or what have you. I'm certainly not going to try to argue that those couples are wrong and I'm right. They are just in a type of relationship that I am not comfortable with.
This is exactly how I see it too.
I don't think the two things are analogous though. Just to play devil's advocate for a second: You don't need porn to get a stiffy and you don't need porn to have an orgasm. You can close your eyes, picture your girlfriend and then get the same end result.
Well, you don't exactly NEED forks to eat food with either, you can use your hands. If a couple is fine with neither being allowed porn because they consider it cheating, good for them as long as they agree on what's ok and what isn't.
If you NEED porn to wank, you've got problems. But it can sometimes make it more fun, I guess, because you don't need to make your imagination work, you just enjoy what's on screen, just like watching TV instead of (day)dreaming.
And the reason I find it morally ok has been explained before, no actual human interacting with you. Yeah, ok, the actors and actresses are real people, but they're not doing this FOR you, live, right now. It's a show.
Why is it problematic to find viewing pornography in a relationship as detrimental? Why is it people who see this is bad, disgusting, cheating, whatever are immature?
It's up to the relationship to decide if it's okay, not some random person going "yeah you should be okay with it because I totally am."
Moral relativism is fucking stupid, and it doesn't suddenly become not-stupid in the context of a relationship.
While there are solid objective arguments as to why your partner shouldn't fuck other people, any argument that your partner shouldn't look at other people (or read stories about other people, if that's how you swing) is going to be fundamentally disconnected from the reality.
We all have adolescent fantasies; teenage boys have fantasies that we'll end up in a foursome with three naked blonde women with big tits someday; teenage girls have fantasies that they'll end up with a boy so head-over-heels in love with them that they can't even think to look at another woman naked.
When that boy grows into a man and falls in love with a woman who isn't built like a porn star and doesn't walk around the house naked in high heels and doesn't regularly lick another porn star's pussy while her man is watching, most men realize that their adolescent fantasies were just that: fantasies. Yeah, maybe we exercise them every so often in front of the computer, but we know that the reality of being with a flesh and blood human being is much more rewarding. We're not looking to replace the reality with a fantasy, just to massage (har har) the fantasy every once in a while.
But girls need to give up their adolescent fantasies, too, and the first one to leave in high school is the idea that your man is so stricken with you that he's never going to get an erection for another woman ever again. Let it be a fantasy... Leave that to your romance novels, and leave us to our porn.
Porn is not the problem. Porn is not a problem period.
Wanting to cheat cheating with your mind but never acting on it is still bad. More or less in these situations cheating is an extreme crime against the relationship, but also a symptom of other problems. As in, the relationship is bad. Not that it is necessarily or entirely the other person's fault.
Cheating, even in a digital world, is still breaking the emotional commitment of the relationship. The fact that he never physically touched the person is irrelevant. It's the idea that she thought he wanted to. If he was just acting out a fantasy, that's relatively excusable.
The fact that he may have been acting it out with another person is more questionable. But if he was actively trying to cheat, and if he was in a position where he'd cheat on her with another person physically if he could.
I think it's silly to equate it to cheating, because cheating is basically having such strong feelings for another person that you have to breach the mutual trust in your current relationship to sneak around and have sex with people who are not your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife. Getting married to a virtual avatar and having virtual sex is, on the whole, pretty innocent in comparison. The real issue is that this person would play Second Life so much that he got virtually married, and he did this when he had a wife. It's less about attraction to another person and more about not being attracted to your SO.
People who grief in games do it because there's no strong repercussion for them to play by the rules. The only thing that fuels these people is anger. I see someone doing inane shit, I'll call them out on it. If they keep doing what they're doing, I vote them off. If that doesn't work, I simply find somewhere else to play.
Things that get me to do these things are:
-People who think piping music in a source game is neat. It's not neat. It's an even shittier rendition of your shitty music that you're forcing people to listen. Some people even take it as far to rejoin the server every so often so they can bypass the mute option.
-People who use any type of hack that gives an unfair advantage over another player. The thing I like to do with these assholes is team kill them if there's FF on, or kill them fair and square and gloat.
-People who fuck around on a full server, ignoring objectives or showing off their spray. Look, if you want to play as a scout and simply bat a fucking wall for 30 minutes, you can do that on your own god damned time.
Last night I had a dream about you
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long
Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long
The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone
Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true
Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true
Posts
This is pretty much what I was getting at.
Well, porn has a real person at the other end, I think the difference however is in their interactivity and the level of intimacy involved.
Had this been an A.I. controlled character, would there still be a problem? In what ways would cheating in the form of prostitution in person vs. the digital realm with a digital character be different if at all?
Honestly, wouldn't you feel left out?
"Baby, you coulda been fukn my character." "Yea... maybe if you made one."
You use semi-colons in your smileys don't you?
EDIT: That was supposed to be a colon!!
My serious opinion of it is that it would be cheating. I know certain people have relationships that are more "open" than others, but if you're doing it without discussing it with your wife, I think you know it's cheating. I know my wife would never want me to resort to porn, strippers, prostitutes, or online anything. Our relationship is such that she is fully satisfying to me and vice-versa. If it ever drops from that, discussion should take place to return it to that level.
I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
that first situation is trolling as an art and should be considering as nothing less than epic win, the second situation is just as much cheating as going to a sexual chat room to chat with other women.
finally, shouldn't you be wary of the how and why of meeting someone and gaining emotional attachment to them online?
As for strip clubs, yeah, that's a grey area. I don't know that I'd call it cheating, but going to strip clubs without your wife knowing/being ok with it is definitely a wrongful act. Is it cheating? I dunno. But it's not ok.
Woah there. Porn is another category. As I've already specified, except for some people who do have a problem, porn is nothing more than a tool to make masturbation more enjoyable or quicker. And masturbating is something even men and women with a healthy love/sex life do. It's not INSTEAD of sex. It's along with sex.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I hate this argument. Sometimes, yes - I would rather spend time watching porn than with my wife.
Reason behind this - I'm a human being.
Critical Failures - Havenhold Campaign • August St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
I'm saying it is something that I think would pop into most people's heads if it happened. Hence the most, not "all". Why else do we see stories like this where the wife is ticked when she finds her husband online like the OP has it?
I don't think it's ridiculous and my wife would definitely have a problem with it. I would too, so it works out well with us. And no, she does not need to grow up.
I'm human too, but I would rather spend time with my wife than watch porn.
Well the first problem here is that you're using the majorities ideas of something related to a relationship as useful. It isn’t, like at all, the average person has incredibly fucked up views of how a relationship should work. So we can safely ignore what they think. The second is that you’d rather be with your wife then do x, we in itself is pretty ridiculous. I doubt you spend one hundred percent of the time together, and if you do I can’t see that being at all healthy. So you’re just making arbitrary distinctions between what you do alone.
Which means the real question is why does my wife/I have a problem with the other watching porn? Is it because I see it as them cheating on me? If so the answer is grow up and realise the distinction, is it because I have ridiculously puritanical views towards sex? Or is it because I’m so possessive that I hate to see him having time away from me? In which case I need to really sort out those issues and find out what’s making me so damn possessive.
For my part, I would be very upset if my girlfriend was having an online relationship (sexual or romantic or both) with someone else and I would never do that to her. But we're both fine with the other watching porn and personally I wouldn't be bothered if she was having virtual sex with some sort of AI. For me, it's the human element that causes problems. Simulated sex or sex acts are fine but when you throw in another person, that's when I feel like someone's territory is being encroached on.
But of course that's just me. I'm sure some couples out there are perfectly fine with one or both partners having sex with strangers, prostitutes, or what have you. I'm certainly not going to try to argue that those couples are wrong and I'm right. They are just in a type of relationship that I am not comfortable with.
Speaking more generally about online personality and accountability, I find I'm actually a nicer person online than in RealLife. Is that weird? o_O
The problem Arcsyn makes is that it seems you should spend time with your wife every time you're thinking of watching porn instead, and that the implication is that we spend time with porn rather than our wife every time we'd spend time with her.
Let's repeat it another time: Porn is a TOOL for masturbation much like a toilet is a tool for crapping and pissing. Masturbation is a need (or a want, rather) that arises every so often, even when in a relationship. Not every single moment should be spent with your wife, nor should every moment be spent without her.
I'm also not convinced you and your wife can have sex every single moment you feel like jerking off. Feel like it, wife's not here? Grab a porn movie (or pics, or just your imagination, the good ol' fashioned way) and spend somewhere between 5 and 45 minutes having physical fun, just like when you're eating something very tasty but empty in nutritional value, or when you scratch a bug bite even though you know you shouldn't.
This is exactly how I see it too.
Just because you wish to ignore what the majority thinks doesn't mean that my thought about what they might think (which was a proposition, not a statement or fact) is wrong. I was not stating that it was the only way to think, nor was I stating that it was the correct way to think. I was merely pondering what the majority of society would think about a certain situation.
No, we do not spend 100% of our time together. No, I do not always want to spend every time we are together just cuddling on the couch. However, I do think that if I want to be sexually aroused, I would rather do so with my wife, a real person, than with a computer monitor or TV. It's personal preference.
Perhaps they do see it as cheating, and they probably should have discussed it earlier, or discuss it now before it gets worse. The answer is not to "grow up" because that is an incredibly short-sighted answer. The answer is to talk about it. That's how relationships work.
Is it a reasonably fine puritanical (or religious) view? That's also fine, and in my case, yes, my wife and I are Christians. It's not unhealthy and I would argue that our relationship is one of the best I have seen.
If it is a possessive thing, then yes, one could mark it down as a psychological problem that should be corrected, but it may also be the fact that they believe that marriage takes two individuals and joins them in such a way that it is wrong for the other to seek out something they could easily get from their mate.
I'm not being judgmental here. I'm not making personal attacks. I was simply pondering a thought that i think the majority of people may share. The statement that my wife or I need to grow up or have "ridiculous" puritanical beliefs is not cool, and I would appreciate it to stop. People have different beliefs and we don't need to condemn each other for holding to them. This isn't SE++, so lets continue to talk about the differences between online and offline interactions between people.
I should really visit D&D more, I've enjoyed this little discussion
(There's a smilie just for arcsyn)
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
I don't think the two things are analogous though. Just to play devil's advocate for a second: You don't need porn to get a stiffy and you don't need porn to have an orgasm. You can close your eyes, picture your girlfriend and then get the same end result.
So why use porn?
Well, you don't exactly NEED forks to eat food with either, you can use your hands. If a couple is fine with neither being allowed porn because they consider it cheating, good for them as long as they agree on what's ok and what isn't.
If you NEED porn to wank, you've got problems. But it can sometimes make it more fun, I guess, because you don't need to make your imagination work, you just enjoy what's on screen, just like watching TV instead of (day)dreaming.
And the reason I find it morally ok has been explained before, no actual human interacting with you. Yeah, ok, the actors and actresses are real people, but they're not doing this FOR you, live, right now. It's a show.
If you don't encourage them, the terrorists win.
See, this post.
Porn is not the problem. Porn is not a problem period.
Wanting to cheat cheating with your mind but never acting on it is still bad. More or less in these situations cheating is an extreme crime against the relationship, but also a symptom of other problems. As in, the relationship is bad. Not that it is necessarily or entirely the other person's fault.
Cheating, even in a digital world, is still breaking the emotional commitment of the relationship. The fact that he never physically touched the person is irrelevant. It's the idea that she thought he wanted to. If he was just acting out a fantasy, that's relatively excusable.
The fact that he may have been acting it out with another person is more questionable. But if he was actively trying to cheat, and if he was in a position where he'd cheat on her with another person physically if he could.
That's wrong.
That is a problem , absolutely. I don't know for sure if what he did was indicative of that, but if that was the case, then yeah.
I watch porn, I wouldn't want to give it up.
But by the power of Greyskull I'd never want it more than my girlfriend, nor would I think it's more important, better, whatever.
Things that get me to do these things are:
-People who think piping music in a source game is neat. It's not neat. It's an even shittier rendition of your shitty music that you're forcing people to listen. Some people even take it as far to rejoin the server every so often so they can bypass the mute option.
-People who use any type of hack that gives an unfair advantage over another player. The thing I like to do with these assholes is team kill them if there's FF on, or kill them fair and square and gloat.
-People who fuck around on a full server, ignoring objectives or showing off their spray. Look, if you want to play as a scout and simply bat a fucking wall for 30 minutes, you can do that on your own god damned time.
In this dream I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling I've waited so long
Don't stop come a little closer
As we jam the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun
We were dancing all night long
The time is right to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it this dream was all gone
Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true
Ooh I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
We'll make this dream come true
GM: Rusty Chains (DH Ongoing)