I think most of us would start to question what we were doing wrong or weren't doing if our wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends would rather watch porn or go to a strip club or online than spend time with us.
Whut, are you really saying that because someone is using porn it means they're not satisfied in their relationship? Because that's patently ridiculous and if your girlfriend has a problem with it, she probably needs to grow the fuck up.
I'm saying it is something that I think would pop into most people's heads if it happened. Hence the most, not "all". Why else do we see stories like this where the wife is ticked when she finds her husband online like the OP has it?
I don't think it's ridiculous and my wife would definitely have a problem with it. I would too, so it works out well with us. And no, she does not need to grow up.
I'm human too, but I would rather spend time with my wife than watch porn.
Well the first problem here is that you're using the majorities ideas of something related to a relationship as useful. It isnâ€™t, like at all, the average person has incredibly fucked up views of how a relationship should work. So we can safely ignore what they think.
Just because you wish to ignore what the majority thinks doesn't mean that my thought about what they might think (which was a proposition, not a statement or fact) is wrong. I was not stating that it was the only way to think, nor was I stating that it was the correct way to think. I was merely pondering what the majority of society would think about a certain situation.
The second is that youâ€™d rather be with your wife then do x, we in itself is pretty ridiculous. I doubt you spend one hundred percent of the time together, and if you do I canâ€™t see that being at all healthy. So youâ€™re just making arbitrary distinctions between what you do alone.
No, we do not spend 100% of our time together. No, I do not always want to spend every time we are together just cuddling on the couch. However, I do think that if I want to be sexually aroused, I would rather do so with my wife, a real person, than with a computer monitor or TV. It's personal preference.
Which means the real question is why does my wife/I have a problem with the other watching porn? Is it because I see it as them cheating on me? If so the answer is grow up and realise the distinction, is it because I have ridiculously puritanical views towards sex? Or is it because Iâ€™m so possessive that I hate to see him having time away from me? In which case I need to really sort out those issues and find out whatâ€™s making me so damn possessive.
Perhaps they do see it as cheating, and they probably should have discussed it earlier, or discuss it now before it gets worse. The answer is not to "grow up" because that is an incredibly short-sighted answer. The answer is to talk about it. That's how relationships work.
Is it a reasonably fine puritanical (or religious) view? That's also fine, and in my case, yes, my wife and I are Christians. It's not unhealthy and I would argue that our relationship is one of the best I have seen.
If it is a possessive thing, then yes, one could mark it down as a psychological problem that should be corrected, but it may also be the fact that they believe that marriage takes two individuals and joins them in such a way that it is wrong for the other to seek out something they could easily get from their mate.
I'm not being judgmental here. I'm not making personal attacks. I was simply pondering a thought that i think the majority of people may share. The statement that my wife or I need to grow up or have "ridiculous" puritanical beliefs is not cool, and I would appreciate it to stop. People have different beliefs and we don't need to condemn each other for holding to them. This isn't SE++, so lets continue to talk about the differences between online and offline interactions between people.