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Your partner watching porn

2456721

Posts

  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:

    JamesKeenan on
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.


    Limed for hotness.

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • CervetusCervetus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:

    Yes, yes I have.:winky:

    And if you have trouble getting aroused by naked pictures of your SO then I think something might be wrong with the relationship.

    Cervetus on
    The libertarian response to anything is, "Sure, that works fine in practice, but it doesn't fly in theory."
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Get together with the wife and make a kinky video. It'll be a great bonding-exercise.

    ViolentChemistry on
    DAMM
    Drunks Against Mad Mothers
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:

    Real amateur stuff generally sucks. Something made by the chick you love who presumably knows what you find sexy shouldn't. I mean, my wife could make a video of her reading a book naked and I'd be all huaghauaghaugahaugh.

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:

    Yes, yes I have.:winky:

    And if you have trouble getting aroused by naked pictures of your SO then I think something might be wrong with the relationship.

    That's not exactly the joke I was making.


    "Oh yes. Give it, give it.... give it-"

    *looks down, lifts and reads crumpled paper*

    "Oh, give it all to me, ok..."


    "Give it all to me!" *wink* *wink* *awkward smile* *awkward smile*

    JamesKeenan on
  • ElJeffeElJeffe Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:

    Yes, yes I have.:winky:

    And if you have trouble getting aroused by naked pictures of your SO then I think something might be wrong with the relationship.

    Well, maybe she's making 2 Girls 1 Cup 2: Electric Holy Fuck What Is Wrong With Boogayou.

    ElJeffe on
    Maddie: "I named my feet. The left one is flip and the right one is flop. Oh, and also I named my flip-flops."

    I make tweet.
  • HalfmexHalfmex I mock your value system You also appear foolish in the eyes of othersRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.
    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:
    It's the only thing that does the trick nowadays. The pro ladies these days are wearing day-glo fishnets and wear enough makeup to put clowns to shame. Ugh, no thanks.

    Re: the topic, I'd agree that if the partner is watching porn instead of being with his/her SO, than certainly there's an issue. But if, like many relationships, one person's libido drastically outweighs the other's, then porn is certainly a good alternative to, well, cheating or ending the relationship altogether.

    Halfmex on
  • TheMarshalTheMarshal Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:

    Yes, yes I have.:winky:

    And if you have trouble getting aroused by naked pictures of your SO then I think something might be wrong with the relationship.

    That's not exactly the joke I was making.


    "Oh yes. Give it, give it.... give it-"

    *looks down, lifts and reads crumpled paper*

    "Oh, give it all to me, ok..."


    "Give it all to me!" *wink* *wink* *awkward smile* *awkward smile*

    I think there's a difference between amateur porn and amateur "fast-forward past this so we can get to the good stuff".

    TheMarshal on
  • CervetusCervetus Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Have you seen some of the real amateur stuff out there?


    D:

    Yes, yes I have.:winky:

    And if you have trouble getting aroused by naked pictures of your SO then I think something might be wrong with the relationship.

    That's not exactly the joke I was making.


    "Oh yes. Give it, give it.... give it-"

    *looks down, lifts and reads crumpled paper*

    "Oh, give it all to me, ok..."


    "Give it all to me!" *wink* *wink* *awkward smile* *awkward smile*

    Oh, I was thinking more the real stuff, like when they just bring a handcam to their fucking session. Scripted porn is bull unless it's... you know, I think I'll leave my kinks a mystery.

    Cervetus on
    The libertarian response to anything is, "Sure, that works fine in practice, but it doesn't fly in theory."
  • QuidQuid I don't... what... hnnng Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    bowen wrote: »
    By something that needs to be worked out, do you mean "You're being completely unreasonable to the porn watching" or "We have different opinions on what is right and need to come to the conclusion on what's best for our relationship"? It seems the first one is the tune a lot of people here are going towards, probably from love of teh pron, whilst the second one is the more correct one which ElJeffe and a few others have highlighted.
    The second one.

    I mean, it'd be great if you knew about and agreed on absolutely every single thing upon marriage, but it's simply not the case. Sooner or later a disagreement does come up, and not necessarily a rational one because, and this is key, nobody is a rational player. And it's not just her problem, it's their problem and it's something they need to work out for themselves how to accomodate it, which will, hopefully, be done however works best for the relationship. Just goin with "You're being irrational, get over it" would be, I agree, a poor avenue of discussion.

    I mean, a big part of marriage is living with each other's crazy.

    Quid on
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS
    edited November 2008
    bowen wrote: »
    By something that needs to be worked out, do you mean "You're being completely unreasonable to the porn watching" or "We have different opinions on what is right and need to come to the conclusion on what's best for our relationship"? It seems the first one is the tune a lot of people here are going towards, probably from love of teh pron, whilst the second one is the more correct one which ElJeffe and a few others have highlighted.

    Love of the porn or love of love being about way more than sex?

    ViolentChemistry on
    DAMM
    Drunks Against Mad Mothers
  • saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Get together with the wife and make a kinky video. It'll be a great bondage-exercise.

    Even more :winky:

    saint2e on
    banner_160x60_01.gif
  • ViolentChemistryViolentChemistry __BANNED USERS
    edited November 2008
    saint2e wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Get together with the wife and make a kinky video. It'll be a great bondage-exercise.

    Even more :winky:

    Well, that was clearly the implication. It was just a more tasteful joke my way.

    ViolentChemistry on
    DAMM
    Drunks Against Mad Mothers
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    saint2e wrote: »
    Cervetus wrote: »
    If the wife has a problem with it, maybe she should make some porn of herself.

    Get together with the wife and make a kinky video. It'll be a great bondage-exercise.

    Even more :winky:

    Thank you Captain "Yes, this is the joke"

    JamesKeenan on
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Cervetus wrote: »
    Oh, I was thinking more the real stuff, like when they just bring a handcam to their fucking session. Scripted porn is bull unless it's... you know, I think I'll leave my kinks a mystery.

    Well, what you were thinking of I agree with completely.

    But how funny is it to just agree with someone's sensible point?

    JamesKeenan on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    bowen wrote: »
    Why is it problematic to find viewing pornography in a relationship as detrimental? Why is it people who see this is bad, disgusting, cheating, whatever are immature?

    It's up to the relationship to decide if it's okay, not some random person going "yeah you should be okay with it because I totally am."

    Moral relativism is fucking stupid, and it doesn't suddenly become not-stupid in the context of a relationship.

    While there are solid objective arguments as to why your partner shouldn't fuck other people, any argument that your partner shouldn't look at other people (or read stories about other people, if that's how you swing) is going to be fundamentally disconnected from the reality.

    We all have adolescent fantasies; teenage boys have fantasies that we'll end up in a foursome with three naked blonde women with big tits someday; teenage girls have fantasies that they'll end up with a boy so head-over-heels in love with them that they can't even think to look at another woman naked.

    When that boy grows into a man and falls in love with a woman who isn't built like a porn star and doesn't walk around the house naked in high heels and doesn't regularly lick another porn star's pussy while her man is watching, most men realize that their adolescent fantasies were just that: fantasies. Yeah, maybe we exercise them every so often in front of the computer, but we know that the reality of being with a flesh and blood human being is much more rewarding. We're not looking to replace the reality with a fantasy, just to massage (har har) the fantasy every once in a while.

    But girls need to give up their adolescent fantasies, too, and the first one to leave in high school is the idea that your man is so stricken with you that he's never going to get an erection for another woman ever again. Let it be a fantasy... Leave that to your romance novels, and leave us to our porn.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    Why is it problematic to find viewing pornography in a relationship as detrimental? Why is it people who see this is bad, disgusting, cheating, whatever are immature?

    It's up to the relationship to decide if it's okay, not some random person going "yeah you should be okay with it because I totally am."

    Moral relativism is fucking stupid, and it doesn't suddenly become not-stupid in the context of a relationship.

    While there are solid objective arguments as to why your partner shouldn't fuck other people, any argument that your partner shouldn't look at other people (or read stories about other people, if that's how you swing) is going to be fundamentally disconnected from the reality.

    We all have adolescent fantasies; teenage boys have fantasies that we'll end up in a foursome with three naked blonde women with big tits someday; teenage girls have fantasies that they'll end up with a boy so head-over-heels in love with them that they can't even think to look at another woman naked.

    When that boy grows into a man and falls in love with a woman who isn't built like a porn star and doesn't walk around the house naked in high heels and doesn't regularly lick another porn star's pussy while her man is watching, most men realize that their adolescent fantasies were just that: fantasies. Yeah, maybe we exercise them every so often in front of the computer, but we know that the reality of being with a flesh and blood human being is much more rewarding. We're not looking to replace the reality with a fantasy, just to massage (har har) the fantasy every once in a while.

    But girls need to give up their adolescent fantasies, too, and the first one to leave in high school is the idea that your man is so stricken with you that he's never going to get an erection for another woman ever again. Let it be a fantasy... Leave that to your romance novels, and leave us to our porn.


    Can I... can I do that? Am I wasting Lime?

    JamesKeenan on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    bowen wrote: »
    By something that needs to be worked out, do you mean "You're being completely unreasonable to the porn watching" or "We have different opinions on what is right and need to come to the conclusion on what's best for our relationship"? It seems the first one is the tune a lot of people here are going towards, probably from love of teh pron, whilst the second one is the more correct one which ElJeffe and a few others have highlighted.

    Love of the porn or love of love being about way more than sex?

    Yes, it is, but that doesn't belittle the significance of sex in the relationship either.

    It's this wild crazy thing where some people attach a meaning to the biological function and that anything else cheapens it. Doesn't necessarily mean they're getting in the way of a little self love or porno time.

    But I get a real, real, real motherfucking strong feeling that a lot of people are going after the first reason, that the S/O is being completely unreasonable and they need to grow the hell up because it's immature to have a feeling about penises and vaginas and the watching thereof.

    Or in feral's case, the inability to have fantasies without watching the material on screen. Never did I say you can't have fantasies, just jerking it to some porno is a manifested form that a S/O may not look at too favorably.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, don't @ me
  • FozwazerusFozwazerus Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Man a porno is a good way to ask your lady to do something special that you would be embarrassed to say but maybe this will break the ice and after the first try now you can voice your opinion on the already broached subject.

    "Hey babe let's watch a movie with sexy times"

    "Ok Manuel! That would be fantastic!"

    *He pops in DVD (really he made it himself who buys porno DVDs?), they both scooch closer to tiny laptop screen. It starts with a pretty normal scene and ramps up to a lady eating peanut butter from a make-shift spoon (they are in the woods and forgot to bring silverware), guy turns to lady :winky:, lady meets his gaze, o_O...:P...:lol:*

    Look who's gettin PB (& J) licked off his knob!

    Fozwazerus on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fozwazerus wrote: »
    Man a porno is a good way to ask your lady to do something special that you would be embarrassed to say but maybe this will break the ice and after the first try now you can voice your opinion on the already broached subject.

    "Hey babe let's watch a movie with sexy times"

    "Ok Manuel! That would be fantastic!"

    *He pops in DVD (really he made it himself who buys porno DVDs?), they both scooch closer to tiny laptop screen. It starts with a pretty normal scene and ramps up to a lady eating peanut butter from a make-shift spoon (they are in the woods and forgot to bring silverware), guy turns to lady :winky:, lady meets his gaze, o_O...:P...:lol:*

    Look who's gettin PB (& J) licked off his knob!

    What.

    What the fuck?

    WHAT THE FUCK?

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, don't @ me
  • durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I'm pretty sure that you are also allowed to gender reverse what Feral said and eliminate the bits about how all women like romance instead of hot sex.

    Girls can dig porn too, man.

    durandal4532 on
    Take a moment to donate what you can to the International Rescue Committee, the National Immigration Law Center, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and the American Civil Liberties Union. There has never been a more urgent moment to do so.
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I'm pretty sure that you are also allowed to gender reverse what Feral said and eliminate the bits about how all women like romance instead of hot sex.

    Girls can dig porn too, man.

    And you can also reverse the part where the guy might dislike it. I'm just saying, this whole "OMFG GROW UP I WATCH PORN" isn't conducive to a relationship if you try to actually say that.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, don't @ me
  • Witch_Hunter_84Witch_Hunter_84 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Fozwazerus wrote: »
    Look who's gettin PB (& J) licked off his knob!

    I'd rather not.

    Witch_Hunter_84 on
    If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten in your presence.
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    I'm pretty sure that you are also allowed to gender reverse what Feral said and eliminate the bits about how all women like romance instead of hot sex.

    Girls can dig porn too, man.

    Please do.

    The point is that there is no real-world material reason, outside of whatever insecurities are bouncing around in your own head, that you should get freaked out by your partner looking at porn.

    If he (or she) is doing it instead of spending time with you, that's a material problem. If he (or she) is doing it instead of having sex with you, that's a material problem.

    But if your issue with it is that it sets off some little bug in your brain, that's not your partner's problem. Yeah, a good partner should be sympathetic about it... polite, classy, keep it discrete, be empathetic, set boundaries, make compromises, whatever you need to do. But a blanket demand that they stop is unreasonable. And it is perfectly acceptable to say that this brain-bug is a form of insecurity that the insecure partner is ultimately responsible to get over. We are each responsible for our own fears and anxieties.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • urahonkyurahonky Dayton, OHRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    PantsB wrote: »
    urahonky wrote: »
    I've been in a relationship for the past 4 years in which "we" decided (she thought it was a good idea, and I went along with it) to wait till we got married. So if I didn't have porn, I may have died by now.

    So I don't think porn by itself is a bad thing. Now if you're going into those webcam chat rooms with the girls, and offer to pay for a private showing or whatever... Yeah that's kinda going over the line.

    I'm half convinced you are just trying to add new anecdotes to get people to tell you to break up with her*. Next week it will be that she likes to cut you in your sleep.

    *'cause you should

    HAHAHA I'm totally telling the truth about everything! I never really lie unless it's blatantly obvious. :P

    urahonky on
  • brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Feral wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    Why is it problematic to find viewing pornography in a relationship as detrimental? Why is it people who see this is bad, disgusting, cheating, whatever are immature?

    It's up to the relationship to decide if it's okay, not some random person going "yeah you should be okay with it because I totally am."

    Moral relativism is fucking stupid, and it doesn't suddenly become not-stupid in the context of a relationship.

    While there are solid objective arguments as to why your partner shouldn't fuck other people, any argument that your partner shouldn't look at other people (or read stories about other people, if that's how you swing) is going to be fundamentally disconnected from the reality.

    We all have adolescent fantasies; teenage boys have fantasies that we'll end up in a foursome with three naked blonde women with big tits someday; teenage girls have fantasies that they'll end up with a boy so head-over-heels in love with them that they can't even think to look at another woman naked.

    When that boy grows into a man and falls in love with a woman who isn't built like a porn star and doesn't walk around the house naked in high heels and doesn't regularly lick another porn star's pussy while her man is watching, most men realize that their adolescent fantasies were just that: fantasies. Yeah, maybe we exercise them every so often in front of the computer, but we know that the reality of being with a flesh and blood human being is much more rewarding. We're not looking to replace the reality with a fantasy, just to massage (har har) the fantasy every once in a while.

    But girls need to give up their adolescent fantasies, too, and the first one to leave in high school is the idea that your man is so stricken with you that he's never going to get an erection for another woman ever again. Let it be a fantasy... Leave that to your romance novels, and leave us to our porn.


    Am I wasting Lime?

    No sir you are not.

    brandotheninjamaster on
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2008
    I'm pretty sure that you are also allowed to gender reverse what Feral said and eliminate the bits about how all women like romance instead of hot sex.

    Girls can dig porn too, man.

    This.

    Medopine on
  • JamesKeenanJamesKeenan Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure that you are also allowed to gender reverse what Feral said and eliminate the bits about how all women like romance instead of hot sex.

    Girls can dig porn too, man.

    This.


    I doubt Feral was literally implying that girls and boys only follow those typical stereotypes. Seeing as how he himself said so.

    But I suppose for the sake of the boards, that yes, this is an important thing to explicitly lay down.

    JamesKeenan on
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure that you are also allowed to gender reverse what Feral said and eliminate the bits about how all women like romance instead of hot sex.

    Girls can dig porn too, man.

    This.


    I doubt Feral was literally implying that girls and boys only follow those typical stereotypes. Seeing as how he himself said so.

    But I suppose for the sake of the boards, that yes, this is an important thing to explicitly lay down.

    I know Feral didn't mean it that way, but I'm just helping to head that shit off at the pass.

    One of the reasons the stereotype of "man gets caught watching porn, girlfriend freaks out!" is harmful is that it relegates people to those stupid stupid roles where men always want sex and women begrudgingly give it to them and I HATE that.

    Medopine on
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Yeah, except sometimes you're not put into roles and it's not a stereotype, because it's actually true. Which does happen. Just sayin.

    Peen on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    ITT: Some people fit into stereotypes and some people don't. Also, some people find things offensive or belittling while others do not.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, don't @ me
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2008
    Yeah, except sometimes you're not put into roles and it's not a stereotype, because it's actually true. Which does happen. Just sayin.

    Of course, and then you deal with the situation at hand by working through like you do any other problem in your relationship, just like people have already been saying

    Medopine on
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2008
    bowen wrote: »
    ITT: Some people fit into stereotypes and some people don't. Also, some people find things offensive or belittling while others do not.

    Why do we need the stereotypes then? What good does it to our society to teach and hold preconceived notions about how each gender acts and should act in a sexual relationship that are so restrictive, when the decision of when, where, how, and with whom to be intimate is an entirely personal and autonomous choice? (Or should be, at least)

    Medopine on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    ITT: Some people fit into stereotypes and some people don't. Also, some people find things offensive or belittling while others do not.

    Why do we need the stereotypes then? What good does it to our society to teach and hold preconceived notions about how each gender acts and should act in a sexual relationship that are so restrictive, when the decision of when, where, how, and with whom to be intimate is an entirely personal and autonomous choice? (Or should be, at least)

    I don't know. Gender identity is a big thing though. I guess it's necessary for people to associate themselves with one sex over the other because well, they're the same. I'm not sure if these stereotypes are necessarily cultural or biological in origin. Are men more likely to go after sexual things, and are woman more likely to go after more romance oriented things? Are these things more... pronounced today because of technology and things like pornography? I don't know.

    What good is sexual orientation in a society if you're not sure who to mate with? Meh, I'm sure there are better people than me to suppose. I am just really not in favor of the "You should have to deal with my habits and my preferences because it's immature not to" routine that this thread always follows, because not everyone has to like spiked yellow hair or lime green fishnets.

    Why is it immature to placate feelings by expressing your disdain for something you don't like? I don't get it, but a lot of this might have to do with harbored feelings of ill intent on a lot of people who get stuck in a relationship or have been cornered in a relationship where one partner didn't like them looking at porn and they just weren't going to have any of that and I'm more mature than you, yadda yadda yadda.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, don't @ me
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2008
    Could you point out where people are saying that?

    I think people are reacting to the argument that when your partner watches porn this means there is a problem with the relationship, inherently

    Medopine on
  • DmanDman Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    ITT: Some people fit into stereotypes and some people don't. Also, some people find things offensive or belittling while others do not.

    Why do we need the stereotypes then? What good does it to our society to teach and hold preconceived notions about how each gender acts and should act in a sexual relationship that are so restrictive, when the decision of when, where, how, and with whom to be intimate is an entirely personal and autonomous choice? (Or should be, at least)

    The benefit is that you can say, look neither of us is fuck up, its normal that the guy's libido is higher, we'll deal with it.

    Dman on
  • bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Medopine wrote: »
    Could you point out where people are saying that?

    I think people are reacting to the argument that when your partner watches porn this means there is a problem with the relationship, inherently

    It seems a few people are ringing to the tune of "You should be able to look at porn and the other person should grow up and deal with it." It's here and there, unless I'm misinterpreting that. Which I very well could be.

    Edit: I guess it's mostly leitner that I don't really see eye to eye with. Most other people are from the camp of "Discuss it, and if it doesn't jive then don't do it. Unless you like to be single." Whereas leitner is all "RAWRRRGGGGG PORN YOU MUST DEAL WITH WATCHING ME THIS"

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, don't @ me
  • MedopineMedopine __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2008
    Dman wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    ITT: Some people fit into stereotypes and some people don't. Also, some people find things offensive or belittling while others do not.

    Why do we need the stereotypes then? What good does it to our society to teach and hold preconceived notions about how each gender acts and should act in a sexual relationship that are so restrictive, when the decision of when, where, how, and with whom to be intimate is an entirely personal and autonomous choice? (Or should be, at least)

    The benefit is that you can say, look neither of us is fuck up, its normal that the guy's libido is higher, we'll deal with it.

    Why can't the statement be that it's natural for one partner to have a bigger libido than the other? Why does it have to be attached to gender?

    Medopine on
  • durandal4532durandal4532 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Dman wrote: »
    Medopine wrote: »
    bowen wrote: »
    ITT: Some people fit into stereotypes and some people don't. Also, some people find things offensive or belittling while others do not.

    Why do we need the stereotypes then? What good does it to our society to teach and hold preconceived notions about how each gender acts and should act in a sexual relationship that are so restrictive, when the decision of when, where, how, and with whom to be intimate is an entirely personal and autonomous choice? (Or should be, at least)

    The benefit is that you can say, look neither of us is fuck up, its normal that the guy's libido is higher, we'll deal with it.

    Oh that's super.

    So when it's not true that the guy is the one with the higher libido, you get to say "Look, this is wrong and you're fucked up. You're going to have to change because that's not how it works" that will be awesome.

    durandal4532 on
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