Man I just keep remembering stupid stuff people have done at my school. There was one week which is remembered as "The festival of substitutes." You see I attend a medium sized private school (160 people in my class) and most of the teachers and some students were gone doing mission work. Now in addition to the mission teams there was a conference which our business teacher and our computer teacher had to attend. Both of these teachers taught in the same room which was basically just a computer lab. It is also important to note that we have a study hall in which you can do work in our library (no class credit of course).
Now I had Accounting and APCS back to back. Now some guy was able to sneak the PC Halo Trial onto a server which all the computers in the library and our computer lab had access to. During that week people in either classes did nothing but play Halo all of the time. Now because the librarian was still there, it was dangerous to play in the library. Instead they just came over to the computer lab and play Halo.
Of course the subs had some suspicion due to the amount of students present and those who were on the roll. At one point a guy took a test in order to prove that he was in the class. Another sub during APCS had to deal with 12 people in a 7 person class (with 4 real students present). The sub threatened the study hall kids by reporting them to the teacher. The responded with apathy and the sub just decided to let us have our fun.
Meanwhile in a bible class which I was not in some students decided to have an "epic battle." Now one kid was able to shoot footage of this battle. What I saw made those kids in that Trigonometry picture look like teacher's pets.
The room was divided into two sides with tables turned over on each side for cover. One side would throw paper wads while another would charge with yardsticks. By what I saw it looked as if it was truly epic...
Oh and you might be wondering how the subs let them get away with this. The students were able to convince the tenderfoot substitute that this was a normal part of class.
First of all, I'd like to say that this is the best fucking thread I've read on these forums in a while. You guys have some great stories. :P
Now, I have a couple stories to add. Neither are very clever or anything, but the outcomes were great. Back in 9th grade, I became known as the king of procrastination in my IB English class when I turned in an essay that I wrote about four hours before I had to turn it in. That, however, wasn't why I was the king. See, the paper was about why a rainbow or some shit was representative of America. I was frantic and it was 4 AM, so I filled about 5 pages with a whole lot of idealistic, patriotic bullshit and handed it in. I ended up getting the highest grade in the class, and when I found that out, I bragged that the entire paper was BS and I'd done in in an hour earlier that morning. This pissed off quite a few people who'd worked all week on it. The icing on the cake was that our teacher entered the essays into the Law Day essay contest, and I won $100 for first place, beating out a bunch of seniors and juniors from other schools.
This next story, though, I bet no one can top. My last year in college, I was taking 4 classes, one of which was a high level math class I knew would be impossible to pass if I didn't study my ass off. So I goof off the entire semester, don't do or turn in homework, totally fail all the tests, basically just give up on the class. It was a required class for my degree, so I resign myself to one more semester to get this one last class. I'm so bummed that I don't even go to graduation, even though I could've walked and everything. So a couple months later, my aunt calls me and tells me that I received a diploma from the university. Somehow, they neglected to check whether I'd satisfied all my requirements and had officially graduated me. I was fucking ecstatic. Did I do the honest thing and let them know I was missing three credits? FUCK NO. I got my diploma and ran like the wind. I've gotten a lot of breaks in my life, but this was the biggest and best ever.
This year in my AP Literature class we had to read Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton. It is incredibly boring.
I only read the first 17 pages.
So we had a quiz over the first 1/2 of the book, including character descriptions and quote identifications.
I bullshitted the entire thing, and got a 64/67, one of the 3 best scores in the class. Everyone was pissed at me.
I had done the same thing earlier in the year on a test over a Hemingway short story, some other short story, and an excerpt from Invisible Man. I had only read the excerpt, and ended up getting a 100% on the test.
First of all, I'd like to say that this is the best fucking thread I've read on these forums in a while. You guys have some great stories. :P
Now, I have a couple stories to add. Neither are very clever or anything, but the outcomes were great. Back in 9th grade, I became known as the king of procrastination in my IB English class when I turned in an essay that I wrote about four hours before I had to turn it in. That, however, wasn't why I was the king. See, the paper was about why a rainbow or some shit was representative of America. I was frantic and it was 4 AM, so I filled about 5 pages with a whole lot of idealistic, patriotic bullshit and handed it in. I ended up getting the highest grade in the class, and when I found that out, I bragged that the entire paper was BS and I'd done in in an hour earlier that morning. This pissed off quite a few people who'd worked all week on it. The icing on the cake was that our teacher entered the essays into the Law Day essay contest, and I won $100 for first place, beating out a bunch of seniors and juniors from other schools.
This next story, though, I bet no one can top. My last year in college, I was taking 4 classes, one of which was a high level math class I knew would be impossible to pass if I didn't study my ass off. So I goof off the entire semester, don't do or turn in homework, totally fail all the tests, basically just give up on the class. It was a required class for my degree, so I resign myself to one more semester to get this one last class. I'm so bummed that I don't even go to graduation, even though I could've walked and everything. So a couple months later, my aunt calls me and tells me that I received a diploma from the university. Somehow, they neglected to check whether I'd satisfied all my requirements and had officially graduated me. I was fucking ecstatic. Did I do the honest thing and let them know I was missing three credits? FUCK NO. I got my diploma and ran like the wind. I've gotten a lot of breaks in my life, but this was the biggest and best ever.
Lots of gold here, a little bit too much bragite. But whatever, my only really good story would be the following
Ninth grade, english test, nothing huge, but whatever. The test is composed of two parts, both with sometihng like a total of 8 or 9 questions. So a friend of mine get his test back, 7 correct awnsers on both parts, and a nice little equation by the teacher
7
+ 7
15
I guess she didn't ace her maths tests back in the day.
Also somewhat amusing is my sciecne/maths teacher from 7-9th grade, asking why I had only gotten a C in all sceince subjects despite being one of the most knowledgable, i got the lovely reply
"Asks too hard questions". Basically I made her look like an idiot because she didn't know her shit. Oh well.
fjafjan on
Yepp, THE Fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
- "Proving once again the deadliest animal of all ... is the Zoo Keeper" - Philip J Fry
First of all, I'd like to say that this is the best fucking thread I've read on these forums in a while. You guys have some great stories. :P
*snip*
This next story, though, I bet no one can top. My last year in college, I was taking 4 classes, one of which was a high level math class I knew would be impossible to pass if I didn't study my ass off. So I goof off the entire semester, don't do or turn in homework, totally fail all the tests, basically just give up on the class. It was a required class for my degree, so I resign myself to one more semester to get this one last class. I'm so bummed that I don't even go to graduation, even though I could've walked and everything. So a couple months later, my aunt calls me and tells me that I received a diploma from the university. Somehow, they neglected to check whether I'd satisfied all my requirements and had officially graduated me. I was fucking ecstatic. Did I do the honest thing and let them know I was missing three credits? FUCK NO. I got my diploma and ran like the wind. I've gotten a lot of breaks in my life, but this was the biggest and best ever.
You are the luckiest man in academia.
Hah, I'm tending to agree. Freakin' A, I would have done the same thing if given the chance.
Don't really have any stories, though. Although I seem to be frustrated with the fact that over the years everything that I write in advance and with alot of thought and effort into it normally gets the lower grades. Meanwhile, the stuff I write just outta my head or done the night before seems to juice out the highest grades from my professors.
That's why when there's some type of essay crap going down on tests or assignments that needs to be turned in soon, I don't sweat it. I know It'll be okay afterward. I guess I can write some pretty persuasive bullshit. But hey, at least I tried. Maybe it's some sort or writing gift or something?...
I've fucked off many a college class and sometimes professors just give you D-'s if you've ever done anything, like just a few assignments at the beginning of the class before disappearing, which will give you the credits at many institutions. I have a few D-'s on my record.
The Green Eyed Monster on
0
LudiousI just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered Userregular
edited January 2007
In 5th grade, my mom worked for a hospital and became good friends with many of the doctors. This is a teaching hospital in Jackson, MS. University Medical Center. U of M's teaching hospital to be specific.
We had to do a science project for our science class. Obviously, since this was 5th grade, it didn't have to be anything fancy. Well, my mom gave me a great idea. Compare and contrast bacteria growth between several different water types. Distilled water, tap water, and ocean water.
It just so happened that another class was taking a day trip to Biloxi, MS (where I just so happen to now live) to visit the aquarium. My mom got me a huge pack of petri dishes and over the course of that day I made my swabs. I let the dishes fester for a few days, and the tap and ocean water had growth. The ocean water being the worst. I then skipped school one day and met with the doctors in the lab at the hospital with my dishes. They helped me figure out what the bacteria was, letting me use the microscopes and showing how they were able to figure out the various bacterias.
I then wrote a typical 5th grade report, along with a lot of polaroid pictures of the dishes and the hospital staff, and put it together on my trifold board.
I got first place in my category (biology). Huzzah.
This isn't the part that relates to this thread.
It's the fact that I dusted off this exact same science project in 8th grade and used it to successfully garner 3rd place overall in the science fair without doing an ounce of new work.
Huzzah!
In college in Western Civ 2, we were required to draw a map of a typical feudal fiefdom and write a paragraph essay on this. I used Monty Python as my basis and branched out from there. I still have the exam somewhere. If I can find it I will scan it.
I was the first person in this teacher's class to get a perfect score on an exam. It was epic.
A few weeks ago I was at a speech tournament participating in a mock congress event. One kid thought it would be funny to bring a three page bill to create velociraptors with "Nazi like efficiency" that would be used to kill and tax minorities.
The next Monday our speech teacher received an apology from the student's speech coach (she hadn't been at the tournament) detailing how the student had to meet with herself, administrators, and the school's diversity board.
If anyone wants, I can probably scan the bill he brought.
Last year, I signed up for the extra-special Organic Chemistry lab. You had to go and talk to like three different people to get in, and you were supposed to go find a research lab somewhere to work in, then write a report on what you had done at the end of the semester. I sent a couple of e-mails to different teachers asking for work, and never got a response. I then kind of forgot about the project for a month or two, at which point the semester was half over. So I went to the supervisor of the lab class, and explained the situation. I kind of lied and made it seem like I had tried harder than I had, but that's not the point. He said I could do an independant research project on a topic of my choosing. I *tried* to do the whole thing in the last week of school, while I was also studying for exams. I eventually realized that I had no idea how to do what I was trying to do, and my final report was basically three pages of "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."
I got an A. I think he was trying to get rid of me.
In 5th grade, my mom worked for a hospital and became good friends with many of the doctors. This is a teaching hospital in Jackson, MS. University Medical Center. U of M's teaching hospital to be specific.
We had to do a science project for our science class. Obviously, since this was 5th grade, it didn't have to be anything fancy. Well, my mom gave me a great idea. Compare and contrast bacteria growth between several different water types. Distilled water, tap water, and ocean water.
It just so happened that another class was taking a day trip to Biloxi, MS (where I just so happen to now live) to visit the aquarium. My mom got me a huge pack of petri dishes and over the course of that day I made my swabs. I let the dishes fester for a few days, and the tap and ocean water had growth. The ocean water being the worst. I then skipped school one day and met with the doctors in the lab at the hospital with my dishes. They helped me figure out what the bacteria was, letting me use the microscopes and showing how they were able to figure out the various bacterias.
I then wrote a typical 5th grade report, along with a lot of polaroid pictures of the dishes and the hospital staff, and put it together on my trifold board.
I got first place in my category (biology). Huzzah.
This isn't the part that relates to this thread.
It's the fact that I dusted off this exact same science project in 8th grade and used it to successfully garner 3rd place overall in the science fair without doing an ounce of new work.
Huzzah!
In college in Western Civ 2, we were required to draw a map of a typical feudal fiefdom and write a paragraph essay on this. I used Monty Python as my basis and branched out from there. I still have the exam somewhere. If I can find it I will scan it.
I was the first person in this teacher's class to get a perfect score on an exam. It was epic.
Actually have a bit of a similar story. In 11th grade, we would get extra credit if we entered the science fair with something having to do with physics, and I did this fantastic project whcih amounted to me doing work for my dad's silica firm. "The effect of different shaped sand granules on the tensile strength of foundry cores." It was fantastic, I had all this background research, it was actually kinda fun to do, and I went beyond tensile strength and looked into other things as well, like the permeability...whole nine yards.
Got really, really sick on the day of the local level fair, didn't get to compete. Everyone who had seen it considered me to be a shoe-in for at least the reigonal level.Shame.
Next year, same teacher (AP level physics instead of honors), used the project I had done the previous year. He ended up not caring. Wasn't allowed to use it in the fair though, as there was paper documentation taht had to be turned in proving I had done it in the past year. Pity.
For a substantial (10 point) bonus to our final test score, we were instructed in my physical science class to construct a paper airplane, and the one that flew the farthest would win the prize. Now, this class was full of nerds (mostly part of my D&D crew) so as you can imagine, there was a torrential flood of wind checking, paper measuring, etc.
I'm no good at science, my forte is language. I knew I had very little chance, plus I have never been able to build a paper airplane in my life. So I stared at the question for a good ten minutes.
"For an extra ten points, you are to build a flying machine out of paper and whatever supplies you need to construct it The one that travels the farthest distance wins."
An idea forms.
So we all go outside, and the flying begins. I sort of stand in the back, waiting. Eventually everyone has gone but me, so I walk to the starting line. I pull a piece of paper from my folder, wad it around a rock, and throw it. Obviously, it travels a bit farther than the others.
Silence. Everyone sort of looks at me, then at the teacher, then at me again. This instructor had a reputation of being sort of a jerk, but in the way that he wanted to make you think instead of repeat facts. He just smiled and told me I won.
I think the rest of the class was a little pissed after that, but hey, it was the last week anyway.
:^:
At my junior high there was a mousetrap car competition thing. You power a small car with a mousetrap spring. Of course someone had previously just built a catapult that fired a marble so the year I did it the rule was you must have at least 2 wheels and an axle.
So of course I just ripped the real axle / wheels out of a toy car the night before and set it on top of the mousetrap. Went so much farther than anyone else's in the class.
My buddy was incredibly creative, and had all sorts of neat presentation ideas. My favorite was when he drew all of his diagrams and graphs and such on a white shirt, then stood on a desk (which was occupied) and gave his presentation, using a pointer to point at the relevant part of his shirt.
Where'd you go to school? That sounds eerily like the curriculum where I went...
I also came up with a couple more stories. My last semester of senior year, I had a last period physics class with a professor who's lesson plan for every day of the year was a) Give kids equations b) Do a sample problem for every equation c) Give kids worksheets. I showed up late a lot, left early when I could get away with it, and skipped on occasion. My attendance became a sort of game between us, where he would make me explain myself (The hallways were a bit slick from the rain, Mr. Goodwin, I had to walk slowly so I wouldn't fall over). The class was fairly small and all of us were friends to some degree or another. So one day I wait outside the room and tell everyone that we, as an entire class, would be skipping physics that day. Instead, we would go and hang out in an alcove down the hall, and see if Goody would ever find us. We do so, and eventually get other students going down the hall to harass him (Awfully small class today, Mr. Goodwin...). Eventually he comes out to see what's up, we get caught, and laughs were shared by all.
Later in the semester, Goodwin goes out into the hall to talk to another teacher about something. After he's been gone a few minutes, everyone in the class (except for me) gets the idea to bolt down the hallway in to get out of class. They get caught, but when the teacher comes back, I'm sitting down behind one of the lab stations where he can't see me. He asks where I am, and one of the students reports that I must have run out the back way, down the fire escape stairs. He goes out to look for me, and when he comes back, I'm sitting up with my feet on his desk.
Then there was the time during AP Government that the teacher had a cop come so that we could ask him questions about due process and whatnot. I made sure to phrase all of my questions as accusations against the teacher. "So if I were to say that Mr. Paul had a stack of child pornography in his briefcase over there, would that be sufficient evidence to search the briefcase?" *reply* "And what if, when you searched the briefcase right over there, there was a handgun laying on top of the stack of child pornography?" etc.
Since this has devolved into general school type stories I shall relate a couple of amusing "Student of the Month" award stories. In my high school teachers had to give out an award each month, they could base it on pretty much anything that wanted. Some did GPA, some did improvement, some just picked somebody at random it seems. This started happening soon after a new principle came to our school so I suspect it was tied to that. Regardless if I were to receive one it invariably happened at a horrible time.
Chemistry class did it by test average. I 'won' January which was all well and good but I missed the last two weeks of January off visiting Hawaii. First day back in class he hands me the certificate. It was mildly amusing.
I sat behind a friend of mine in social studies. We'd been friends since Montessori kindergarten and messed around all the time. During a rather boring film presentation I decide to amuse myself and tie his shoelaces to his desk. I'm about halfway through the process when the teacher comes over with a paper in his hand, looks down at me and asks what I'm doing.
"Tying his shoelaces to his desk." No reason to even try and lie since it was pretty obvious. His response was something like "Oh, here's a student of the month award" then he just walked away.
Once I had to do a french text about a theater play I didn't bother to go and see, I just quoted stuff from the little booklet about the play and got 100%.
For my final french test I had to make an oral presentation, anything could work. I've brought three friends with me and played a Dungeons and Dragons games for like thirty minutes in front of a "wtf?!?" class. I got 105% for that! Five bonus points! Weee.
For a substantial (10 point) bonus to our final test score, we were instructed in my physical science class to construct a paper airplane, and the one that flew the farthest would win the prize. Now, this class was full of nerds (mostly part of my D&D crew) so as you can imagine, there was a torrential flood of wind checking, paper measuring, etc.
I'm no good at science, my forte is language. I knew I had very little chance, plus I have never been able to build a paper airplane in my life. So I stared at the question for a good ten minutes.
"For an extra ten points, you are to build a flying machine out of paper and whatever supplies you need to construct it The one that travels the farthest distance wins."
An idea forms.
So we all go outside, and the flying begins. I sort of stand in the back, waiting. Eventually everyone has gone but me, so I walk to the starting line. I pull a piece of paper from my folder, wad it around a rock, and throw it. Obviously, it travels a bit farther than the others.
Silence. Everyone sort of looks at me, then at the teacher, then at me again. This instructor had a reputation of being sort of a jerk, but in the way that he wanted to make you think instead of repeat facts. He just smiled and told me I won.
I think the rest of the class was a little pissed after that, but hey, it was the last week anyway.
We had that assignment too. They gave each group of two people a couple paper clips, a sheet of paper, some tape and scissors. We taped the paper clips to the middle of the paper, scrunch the paper up as tight as possible and then taped over it so it wouldn't expand in mid flight. We got it all the way down the hall.
In AP European History my senior year, we had a day where the class split up into groups to reenact some international conference, I believe taking place shortly after World War I, dealing with splitting up territories and other such things. Each country got some objectives they were supposed to achieve, and away we went. I was given control of the workings of France along with two or three others, and I believe our goals were along the lines of reestablishing the French military presence, as well as our prestige level, while minimizing the loss of any political power.
Things are going along fairly standardly for a class activity, which with my particular graduating class meant complete disinterest and creativity, when suddenly the Prussians approach us with a brilliant plan. In essence, we would combine our economic and military powers, begin by conquering a land bridge between the two states, and then begin our expansion outwards, eventually consuming Europe in its entirety. This new state would eventually come to be known officially as The Superpower of Prance.
My fellow countrymen were a little apprehensive towards the plot, pushing instead for more standard political measures. I however, would not be satisfied a France mired in mediocrity, and pleaded for a France that would shake the entirety of the continent. My allies finally broke, and the plan was set in motion.
Anyway, we're quietly waiting to make our move when some resolution that we'd agreed upon came up to the vote(possibly regarding the splitting of some of that land in the Poland area). It seemed that everything was in place when suddenly the dirty Prussian bastards stab us in the back and vote against the resolution, and the glorious future it promised.
Fortunately, this also had the effect of crippling England's ability to meet one of its objectives. With this in mind, I approached the English delegation with a plan for vengeance, gain, and glory. France would act as England's bridge into Europe, serving as a port and base of operations, as well as supplementing the English army with supplies and troops. England could use this opportunity to not only bring down divine justice upon Prussia, but could also use it as an opportunity to gain influence on the mainland. It took some convincing, but eventually the English were persuaded.
This, however, was all merely a backdrop for proud France's true plan. We would allow the English to land and begin operations against the Prussians, but only whilst simultaneously stealing what English vessels docked in French harbors we could, and destroying anything else. With this sudden shift of naval power, the main force of the French army would launch a do-or-die mission onto the city of London.
In any case, regardless of the ridiculosity of the situation, the teacher was a pretty easy-going guy, and was probaby just happy that we were participating, so he let all of this play out. Since the whole thing was only one class period, we couldn't really play out an epic military struggle like I would have liked. He just rolled a couple of dice when we announced our attack, and said we lost(which is bologna). In any case, despite this, we met most of our objectives, and he said we'd actually scored the most points as France out of any of his classes.
Frosteey on
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GoslingLooking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered Userregular
edited January 2007
Our high school has a wooded hill, with corn fields surrounding it, next to the parking lot. (Edge of town.) As part of a history class, the teacher sent us all out to this hill to recreate Gettysburg. I'm not sure what part of Gettysburg, or if it was simply 'Get the class outside to do something vaguely warlike and CALL it Gettysburg', but there you go.
This was in October or November, after the leaves have fallen, but before the snow. Pretty much just bitter ugly cold and blech. I was on the North side, which was started out at the bottom of the hill, behind a street and a tree line. The South was placed in the mini-forest at the top of the hill. Between, the hill, consisting of a field of... well, grass. No corn there. The object, theoretically, was for one side to kill the other. We would do this through exceedingly complicated means involving air cannons and air muskets and air ammo and it all boiled down to screaming "Bang! You're dead!" at each other.
What wound up happening is the South largely stayed put in the trees and the North scattered up the hill at widely varying paces. There was barely any 'shooting' going on, in fact none that I could discern, and I personally took a leisurely walk around the hill and wandered around in the forest until the teacher called us in. Apparently my side 'won', though I fail to see why we won as I didn't note anyone claiming to have been 'shot', I saw no 'corpses' on either side, or any indication, in fact, that anyone gave half a shit about any re-enactment besides the teacher. It was cold and we just wanted back inside.
In short: Teacher asks us to re-enact Gettysburg, we respond with aimless wandering.
Gosling on
I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
I remember a couple years ago my friend's cousin had a bit of a shock thanks to biology. She'd just learned about blood types, so she went home and found out her parents' blood types. Using what she learned in bio, she made up a Punnett square and came to the realization that no matter how you did it, the blood types of her parents would never yield her blood type.
Biology teacher had to endure lots of ire from the parents after that
Our teacher told us a story similar to that. He had handed out a worksheet that surveyed the few human traits that are either dominant or recessive, and we were going over it in class when someone asked if anyone had ever found out they were adopted from this. Turns out they were, and that's why we only went over it in class.
This actually fucking happened in my class too! Biology 104, Northern Illinois University. We just went over Blood Types. A girl pipes up that the professor must be wrong because her mother is A and her father is AB and she has O type blood. (This is not possible, the mother must be Aa or AA and the father is AB - no way are you getting an 'aa' out of it).
It was followed by several seconds of uncomfortable silence then the teacher just continued like nothing happened.
I've only really cheated once. Sophomore World History class in high school, and we were supposed to memorize all of the nations in the Middle East and northern Africa, so that we could fill in a map with the correct names. Except nobody really bothered doing it, because fuck, that's a lot of countries. We'd been given sample maps that looked identical to what the test would be, so the class - by which I mean pretty much the whole class - just sat there with the sample maps on the floor and copied the answers.
I'd probably have felt guiltier about it if the whole class hadn't done it. I had a strong suspicion, as well, that the teacher knew we were all cheating and just didn't much care.
Other than that, there's been the occasional lab where we had to run an experiment 5 times, and after 3 or 4 getting nigh-identical results, I just made up the rest.
I don't cheat myself, but I sure as hell facilitate cheating for others.
If I finish a quiz and the teacher wants us to hold onto it - I lay back in the chair, hands behind my head and let anyone who's around me full view of my answers.
I can't approach anything in this thread so far in awesomeness, but I once answered an unimportant Chemistry test using rhyming couplets for any question that demanded more than a one-line answer. "A noble gas has a full outer shell/Of electrons, so doesn't react very well", and so forth. I believe I just got it handed back marked normally (I presume just because it went unnoticed, it'd probably be quite easy to miss if you weren't reading it as poetry).
Also, in my General Studies A-Level (there's a useful qualification), you had to do a section on a foreign language, which for me meant French. Now, I'd not studied any French for the past year or so, and was never very good at it when I did. The test involved reading a bit of French, and answering questions on it (in English). The piece was about a French Scrabble tournament. Luckily, not long before I'd read about how they play Scrabble in France (they mostly play a different way that essentially sucks all the fun out of it), so I could answer several of the questions without actually translating anything.
I remember a couple years ago my friend's cousin had a bit of a shock thanks to biology. She'd just learned about blood types, so she went home and found out her parents' blood types. Using what she learned in bio, she made up a Punnett square and came to the realization that no matter how you did it, the blood types of her parents would never yield her blood type.
Biology teacher had to endure lots of ire from the parents after that
Our teacher told us a story similar to that. He had handed out a worksheet that surveyed the few human traits that are either dominant or recessive, and we were going over it in class when someone asked if anyone had ever found out they were adopted from this. Turns out they were, and that's why we only went over it in class.
This actually fucking happened in my class too! Biology 104, Northern Illinois University. We just went over Blood Types. A girl pipes up that the professor must be wrong because her mother is A and her father is AB and she has O type blood. (This is not possible, the mother must be Aa or AA and the father is AB - no way are you getting an 'aa' out of it).
It was followed by several seconds of uncomfortable silence then the teacher just continued like nothing happened.
It's actually possible through a recessive trait known as the "Bombay Phenotype" where the H antigen (precursor to the a and b antigen) is not produced.
krapst78 on
Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father prepare to die!
Looking for a Hardcore Fantasy Extraction Shooter? - Dark and Darker
Then there was the time during AP Government that the teacher had a cop come so that we could ask him questions about due process and whatnot. I made sure to phrase all of my questions as accusations against the teacher. "So if I were to say that Mr. Paul had a stack of child pornography in his briefcase over there, would that be sufficient evidence to search the briefcase?" *reply* "And what if, when you searched the briefcase right over there, there was a handgun laying on top of the stack of child pornography?" etc.
Take me, Savior!
Gim on
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
I remember a couple years ago my friend's cousin had a bit of a shock thanks to biology. She'd just learned about blood types, so she went home and found out her parents' blood types. Using what she learned in bio, she made up a Punnett square and came to the realization that no matter how you did it, the blood types of her parents would never yield her blood type.
Biology teacher had to endure lots of ire from the parents after that
Our teacher told us a story similar to that. He had handed out a worksheet that surveyed the few human traits that are either dominant or recessive, and we were going over it in class when someone asked if anyone had ever found out they were adopted from this. Turns out they were, and that's why we only went over it in class.
This actually fucking happened in my class too! Biology 104, Northern Illinois University. We just went over Blood Types. A girl pipes up that the professor must be wrong because her mother is A and her father is AB and she has O type blood. (This is not possible, the mother must be Aa or AA and the father is AB - no way are you getting an 'aa' out of it).
It was followed by several seconds of uncomfortable silence then the teacher just continued like nothing happened.
It's actually possible through a recessive trait known as the "Bombay Phenotype" where the H antigen (precursor to the a and b antigen) is not produced.
Yeah well, it's extremely rare, and mostly just in India. Hence...Bombay.
The only real whopper I ever pulled off was back in grade school when I invented the history and economics of Panama out of whole cloth and still got an A for it, as well as a compliment from the teacher on how well researched it was.
In HS i pulled an A on a final English test where we had to choose a character from modern literature who fufilled Shakesperes classical tragic hero archtype. My choice: Humpty Dumpty
In college if it was an essay test (other than a technical essay) I would bring a flask of rum to the final (I creative write better when I'm a little loose)
My final paper for Freshman English was kept by the professor so he could show it to other classes as an example (a good example). The writing of that paper was preceded by the downing of a bottle of merlot (I find reds to be good writing wines) and then some. I don't recall actually reading the paper until the afternoon of the next day.
ALocksly on
Yes,... yes, I agree. It's totally unfair that sober you gets into trouble for things that drunk you did.
I once drank during a differential equations test. It wouldn't have been interesting, but the circumstances were kinda funny. It was the day after halloween, and I had gone to a party the night before where they'd had a big bowl of punch. My roommate had been pouring liberal amounts of vodka into the punch (usually when the hostess turned her back), and we were all have a good chuckle over it. For some reason, I took a 20oz bottle of the punch home with me, but I left it in my car.
The next morning I took it with me to campus as a joke (the weather had kept the bottle cold), and I ended up drinking it during my test. The only thing that actually makes this funny is that my roommate, who had been flooding the punch with vodka, was in the same class and instantly recognized the bottle. By the time the test was over, my face was bright red and we were both laughing like morons. I somehow still managed an A on the test.
Last semester I was in a directing class which involved a large amount of acting on the part of the students. My talents (or lack of them) were somehow in demand throughout all the projects. One scene I was acting in was taken from Sideways. The background for the scene was that my character was hungover. So I decide the next best thing is to actually be drunk. This is a class which lasts a little over four hours from early afternoon to early evening. I was drafted into someone's scene (the second one up that day), so I do my small part in that. Immediately after I leave class and walk over to the pub a block or so away. I spend an hour there with three of four drinks (it's funny looking at the receipt because each consecutive drink is cheaper than the last, I went from Guinness to Bud Light) and stumble back to class, all the while very happy with myself for finding an excuse to drink for class. I'm just sitting there, swaying back and forth with glee while my friends give me looks of "Oh my god, he's soused!" I was just sitting through the other performances waiting for mine. When it was time to go up, my buzz was beginning to subside but still there. Well, things went badly. The instructor thought that there was too much blocking and it didn't make sense. We spent about 45 minutes running through it about twenty times. Halfway through my buzz was well gone and I kind of felt like crap.
I don't cheat myself, but I sure as hell facilitate cheating for others.
If I finish a quiz and the teacher wants us to hold onto it - I lay back in the chair, hands behind my head and let anyone who's around me full view of my answers.
I think it's a measure of community service.
You Sir are a king among men. I cheated plenty of times in the past (like being allowed to have one A4 sheet of equasions, and bringing several stacks), though with no fun stories to accompany them.
I'll just add to the growing pile of essay tales- I've always had an easy time with them, and got scores at the top of the class on them (good thing, too, it made up for my lacking knowledge of grammar) without really trying to. Just the generic "intro, body, conclusion" form.
Except once. One time, I really wanted to make something special. I junked the generic form and wrote a long essay about the subject where I weaved all the otherwise-segmented information into it without unnecessary topic changes. 'Twas a thing of beauty. Ended up the lowest graded essay I ever wrote, just barely passing. Kinda stopped caring afterwards.
We had that assignment too. They gave each group of two people a couple paper clips, a sheet of paper, some tape and scissors. We taped the paper clips to the middle of the paper, scrunch the paper up as tight as possible and then taped over it so it wouldn't expand in mid flight. We got it all the way down the hall.
See, I would have just bunched everything together and taped it to the scissors in a rough fashion, then hurled them dangerously down the hall and possibly into someones eye.
We had that assignment too. They gave each group of two people a couple paper clips, a sheet of paper, some tape and scissors. We taped the paper clips to the middle of the paper, scrunch the paper up as tight as possible and then taped over it so it wouldn't expand in mid flight. We got it all the way down the hall.
See, I would have just bunched everything together and taped it to the scissors in a rough fashion, then hurled them dangerously down the hall and possibly into someones eye.
We had that assignment too. They gave each group of two people a couple paper clips, a sheet of paper, some tape and scissors. We taped the paper clips to the middle of the paper, scrunch the paper up as tight as possible and then taped over it so it wouldn't expand in mid flight. We got it all the way down the hall.
See, I would have just bunched everything together and taped it to the scissors in a rough fashion, then hurled them dangerously down the hall and possibly into someones eye.
It would have been glorious I tell you.
This is an idea I can get behind.
I'd much rather be behind this idea than in front of it, considering it involves flying scissors.
The only time I ever did anything of this nature (the fact that I only did this once still amazes me) was in a history class in maybe 11th grade.
We had broken up into groups, and my group had gotten something to do with slavery, and I volunteered to present our research. While our research was just fine, it was the Q&A afterwards that threw me off.
The teacher asked "Ok, so, what can you tell me about the underground railroad?" Now, I am not an idiot. I knew damn well what the underground railroad was long ago, but for some reason, I totally blanked, and just said "Well, it's a lot like the metro, only full of slaves"
He gave me the most incredulous look I've ever seen from a teacher, and proceeded a ask a series of further questions, the extent of which I do not recall, but I never gave in. I had spaced that first answer, so I just bullshitted my way through the rest of the questions, resting on the UG being a fucking metro for black people, and we got an A.
Speaking of Scissors, some friends and I were hanging out in a classroom one day during lunch hour, when one of them gets the brilliant idea to throw a large pair of scissors at a blackboard. You've probably seen the ones, two solid pieces of metal, probably 6-8+ inch blades, usually left in the care of teachers moreso than students?
Damned things went right into the board from at least 10 feet away. It was a marvelous feat, or just really lucky. Either way, seeing a pair of scissors imbeded in a chalkboard struck us as very very funny.
These were the same people who would have competitions involving throwing lunch meat on the window and seeing which ones stayed up the longest, took a magnet, playdough and more scissors to the classroom computer, and gave at least two teachers minor nervous breakdowns (which many people lay claim to, but I'm referring to periods where the teacher took extended leave in response to our direct actions).
That was during Elementary school, in Highschool I think we matured, if just a little. We did have one teacher who had the oddest habit of referring to herself in the third person. "Mrs. Bain does not like..." etc. We began counting the number of times she did this, and kept track. We decided that when she reached 100, we'd all begin cheering. The day arrived, it occurred, she looked at us like we were crazy (having no idea what we were celebrating) and went back to the lesson plan.
I certainly wasn't a saint during those days, but I like to think I was a bit better behaved than many. Unfortunately, I was also a heavy procrastinator and slacked in general, ending high school with a 70% average.
Maybe one day I'll outgrow that scholastic mediocrity, rather than just perusing things on Wikipedia that interest me.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
That reminds me that in Grade 7, two kids decided to see who could run headfirst, rhino-charging style into the whiteboard during a free-period.
The first kid did it fairly hard. The second kid fucking ran all out into the board and dented it, and then fell over in pain. The teacher from the class on the other side of this wall came over to our class seconds later asking why his entire whiteboard just shook.
Also, a kid once got busted during lunch in Grade 5 for pretending to be playing baseball in the classroom and sliding into home plate just as the teacher walked in to check in on us. Home plate was the garbage can, which he knocked over.
Some people asked what happened, as they didn't see what he did to get in trouble. So he proceeded to show them what he had just done, just as the teacher walked in again. It was priceless.
I had an essay I wrote in high school that I was pretty proud of at the time. It was some introspective piece about how I was able to form order from the chaos around me, or something. After high school, I had two classes (at a community college) in which I was able to use it. The first was for an assignment that was supposed to be sort of a free-form essay on whatever, and it was a good fit.
The second was some essay for a psychology class. I forget exactly what the topic was, but it had fuck-all to do with this paper I'd written. Nevertheless, I was too lazy to do the assignment, and so I handed in the same old essay with a note attached saying that while I knew this wasn't exactly what was asked of us, when I sat down to write, this is what came flowing out. And that I felt very strongly that such feelings should be expressed when they're clearly what was destined to pour forth from my pen, or whatever. I got a B+.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
In my sophomore year of high school, someone in my small group of friends got ahold of a copy of the master exam for our bio class. We all copied down the answers and my buddy somehow got the copy back into the teachers hands without her ever knowing... and it just so happened that on this test, we were allowed to bring a single page of notes, single sided so long as we turned it in with the test.
It became a simple game of starting every line of notes with the correct answer (multiple choice / True/False) in a way to make them seem legitimate was a fun little game and we all got A's - not 100%s of course cause we didnt want to be obvious.
I remember in high school, I was tutoring one of the seniors in Physics to prep for the final exam. He brought in several sample problems that we worked through, but by the end of the study session there was still one problem neither of us could work out. The next day I went to the teacher and asked him about the problem, and we went to the whiteboard, and he walked me through it step by step. The following week I get my final exam. Every single problem that I had helped the other student with was on it. In fact, they made up the entire long answer section, including the problem the teacher had walked me through a week before. I would have felt guilty if I hadn't already been acing the class.
Knuckle Dragger on
Let not any one pacify his conscience by the delusion that he can do no harm if he takes no part, and forms no opinion.
- John Stuart Mill
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GoslingLooking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered Userregular
edited January 2007
This one's not related to any class, but it is school-related. I'm currently at Madison Area Technical College, last semester prior to graduation.
In one of the rooms at my local campus is a map of the US. It's your basic classroom-grade lamination job; you've likely seen your share of them. Back in my first semester, I got the urge to place all surplus pushpins in the room (which I defined as, all pushpins that were not load-bearing) into the map. I started with pushing them into New York and Chicago and LA, then soon I got the urge to keep doing this with any spare pushpins I found and balancing out the load as much as possible, until someone removed them or told me to stop.
Today, 3 1/2 years later, I placed pushpins in Fort Myers, FL, San Luis Obispo, CA and rural Missouri. There have to be somewhere around 200 in that thing and not only has nobody removed them, nobody has even NOTICED this map, inside a classroom, with 200 pushpins in it. Or how it got that way.
Gosling on
I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
Posts
Now I had Accounting and APCS back to back. Now some guy was able to sneak the PC Halo Trial onto a server which all the computers in the library and our computer lab had access to. During that week people in either classes did nothing but play Halo all of the time. Now because the librarian was still there, it was dangerous to play in the library. Instead they just came over to the computer lab and play Halo.
Of course the subs had some suspicion due to the amount of students present and those who were on the roll. At one point a guy took a test in order to prove that he was in the class. Another sub during APCS had to deal with 12 people in a 7 person class (with 4 real students present). The sub threatened the study hall kids by reporting them to the teacher. The responded with apathy and the sub just decided to let us have our fun.
Meanwhile in a bible class which I was not in some students decided to have an "epic battle." Now one kid was able to shoot footage of this battle. What I saw made those kids in that Trigonometry picture look like teacher's pets.
The room was divided into two sides with tables turned over on each side for cover. One side would throw paper wads while another would charge with yardsticks. By what I saw it looked as if it was truly epic...
Oh and you might be wondering how the subs let them get away with this. The students were able to convince the tenderfoot substitute that this was a normal part of class.
Now, I have a couple stories to add. Neither are very clever or anything, but the outcomes were great. Back in 9th grade, I became known as the king of procrastination in my IB English class when I turned in an essay that I wrote about four hours before I had to turn it in. That, however, wasn't why I was the king. See, the paper was about why a rainbow or some shit was representative of America. I was frantic and it was 4 AM, so I filled about 5 pages with a whole lot of idealistic, patriotic bullshit and handed it in. I ended up getting the highest grade in the class, and when I found that out, I bragged that the entire paper was BS and I'd done in in an hour earlier that morning. This pissed off quite a few people who'd worked all week on it. The icing on the cake was that our teacher entered the essays into the Law Day essay contest, and I won $100 for first place, beating out a bunch of seniors and juniors from other schools.
This next story, though, I bet no one can top. My last year in college, I was taking 4 classes, one of which was a high level math class I knew would be impossible to pass if I didn't study my ass off. So I goof off the entire semester, don't do or turn in homework, totally fail all the tests, basically just give up on the class. It was a required class for my degree, so I resign myself to one more semester to get this one last class. I'm so bummed that I don't even go to graduation, even though I could've walked and everything. So a couple months later, my aunt calls me and tells me that I received a diploma from the university. Somehow, they neglected to check whether I'd satisfied all my requirements and had officially graduated me. I was fucking ecstatic. Did I do the honest thing and let them know I was missing three credits? FUCK NO. I got my diploma and ran like the wind. I've gotten a lot of breaks in my life, but this was the biggest and best ever.
I only read the first 17 pages.
So we had a quiz over the first 1/2 of the book, including character descriptions and quote identifications.
I bullshitted the entire thing, and got a 64/67, one of the 3 best scores in the class. Everyone was pissed at me.
I had done the same thing earlier in the year on a test over a Hemingway short story, some other short story, and an excerpt from Invisible Man. I had only read the excerpt, and ended up getting a 100% on the test.
You are the luckiest man in academia.
Ninth grade, english test, nothing huge, but whatever. The test is composed of two parts, both with sometihng like a total of 8 or 9 questions. So a friend of mine get his test back, 7 correct awnsers on both parts, and a nice little equation by the teacher
7
+ 7
15
I guess she didn't ace her maths tests back in the day.
Also somewhat amusing is my sciecne/maths teacher from 7-9th grade, asking why I had only gotten a C in all sceince subjects despite being one of the most knowledgable, i got the lovely reply
"Asks too hard questions". Basically I made her look like an idiot because she didn't know her shit. Oh well.
- "Proving once again the deadliest animal of all ... is the Zoo Keeper" - Philip J Fry
Hah, I'm tending to agree. Freakin' A, I would have done the same thing if given the chance.
Don't really have any stories, though. Although I seem to be frustrated with the fact that over the years everything that I write in advance and with alot of thought and effort into it normally gets the lower grades. Meanwhile, the stuff I write just outta my head or done the night before seems to juice out the highest grades from my professors.
That's why when there's some type of essay crap going down on tests or assignments that needs to be turned in soon, I don't sweat it. I know It'll be okay afterward. I guess I can write some pretty persuasive bullshit. But hey, at least I tried. Maybe it's some sort or writing gift or something?...
We had to do a science project for our science class. Obviously, since this was 5th grade, it didn't have to be anything fancy. Well, my mom gave me a great idea. Compare and contrast bacteria growth between several different water types. Distilled water, tap water, and ocean water.
It just so happened that another class was taking a day trip to Biloxi, MS (where I just so happen to now live) to visit the aquarium. My mom got me a huge pack of petri dishes and over the course of that day I made my swabs. I let the dishes fester for a few days, and the tap and ocean water had growth. The ocean water being the worst. I then skipped school one day and met with the doctors in the lab at the hospital with my dishes. They helped me figure out what the bacteria was, letting me use the microscopes and showing how they were able to figure out the various bacterias.
I then wrote a typical 5th grade report, along with a lot of polaroid pictures of the dishes and the hospital staff, and put it together on my trifold board.
I got first place in my category (biology). Huzzah.
This isn't the part that relates to this thread.
It's the fact that I dusted off this exact same science project in 8th grade and used it to successfully garner 3rd place overall in the science fair without doing an ounce of new work.
Huzzah!
In college in Western Civ 2, we were required to draw a map of a typical feudal fiefdom and write a paragraph essay on this. I used Monty Python as my basis and branched out from there. I still have the exam somewhere. If I can find it I will scan it.
I was the first person in this teacher's class to get a perfect score on an exam. It was epic.
A few weeks ago I was at a speech tournament participating in a mock congress event. One kid thought it would be funny to bring a three page bill to create velociraptors with "Nazi like efficiency" that would be used to kill and tax minorities.
The next Monday our speech teacher received an apology from the student's speech coach (she hadn't been at the tournament) detailing how the student had to meet with herself, administrators, and the school's diversity board.
If anyone wants, I can probably scan the bill he brought.
Last year, I signed up for the extra-special Organic Chemistry lab. You had to go and talk to like three different people to get in, and you were supposed to go find a research lab somewhere to work in, then write a report on what you had done at the end of the semester. I sent a couple of e-mails to different teachers asking for work, and never got a response. I then kind of forgot about the project for a month or two, at which point the semester was half over. So I went to the supervisor of the lab class, and explained the situation. I kind of lied and made it seem like I had tried harder than I had, but that's not the point. He said I could do an independant research project on a topic of my choosing. I *tried* to do the whole thing in the last week of school, while I was also studying for exams. I eventually realized that I had no idea how to do what I was trying to do, and my final report was basically three pages of "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."
I got an A. I think he was trying to get rid of me.
I did come up with this though.
Actually have a bit of a similar story. In 11th grade, we would get extra credit if we entered the science fair with something having to do with physics, and I did this fantastic project whcih amounted to me doing work for my dad's silica firm. "The effect of different shaped sand granules on the tensile strength of foundry cores." It was fantastic, I had all this background research, it was actually kinda fun to do, and I went beyond tensile strength and looked into other things as well, like the permeability...whole nine yards.
Got really, really sick on the day of the local level fair, didn't get to compete. Everyone who had seen it considered me to be a shoe-in for at least the reigonal level.Shame.
Next year, same teacher (AP level physics instead of honors), used the project I had done the previous year. He ended up not caring. Wasn't allowed to use it in the fair though, as there was paper documentation taht had to be turned in proving I had done it in the past year. Pity.
At my junior high there was a mousetrap car competition thing. You power a small car with a mousetrap spring. Of course someone had previously just built a catapult that fired a marble so the year I did it the rule was you must have at least 2 wheels and an axle.
So of course I just ripped the real axle / wheels out of a toy car the night before and set it on top of the mousetrap. Went so much farther than anyone else's in the class.
Where'd you go to school? That sounds eerily like the curriculum where I went...
I also came up with a couple more stories. My last semester of senior year, I had a last period physics class with a professor who's lesson plan for every day of the year was a) Give kids equations b) Do a sample problem for every equation c) Give kids worksheets. I showed up late a lot, left early when I could get away with it, and skipped on occasion. My attendance became a sort of game between us, where he would make me explain myself (The hallways were a bit slick from the rain, Mr. Goodwin, I had to walk slowly so I wouldn't fall over). The class was fairly small and all of us were friends to some degree or another. So one day I wait outside the room and tell everyone that we, as an entire class, would be skipping physics that day. Instead, we would go and hang out in an alcove down the hall, and see if Goody would ever find us. We do so, and eventually get other students going down the hall to harass him (Awfully small class today, Mr. Goodwin...). Eventually he comes out to see what's up, we get caught, and laughs were shared by all.
Later in the semester, Goodwin goes out into the hall to talk to another teacher about something. After he's been gone a few minutes, everyone in the class (except for me) gets the idea to bolt down the hallway in to get out of class. They get caught, but when the teacher comes back, I'm sitting down behind one of the lab stations where he can't see me. He asks where I am, and one of the students reports that I must have run out the back way, down the fire escape stairs. He goes out to look for me, and when he comes back, I'm sitting up with my feet on his desk.
Then there was the time during AP Government that the teacher had a cop come so that we could ask him questions about due process and whatnot. I made sure to phrase all of my questions as accusations against the teacher. "So if I were to say that Mr. Paul had a stack of child pornography in his briefcase over there, would that be sufficient evidence to search the briefcase?" *reply* "And what if, when you searched the briefcase right over there, there was a handgun laying on top of the stack of child pornography?" etc.
Chemistry class did it by test average. I 'won' January which was all well and good but I missed the last two weeks of January off visiting Hawaii. First day back in class he hands me the certificate. It was mildly amusing.
I sat behind a friend of mine in social studies. We'd been friends since Montessori kindergarten and messed around all the time. During a rather boring film presentation I decide to amuse myself and tie his shoelaces to his desk. I'm about halfway through the process when the teacher comes over with a paper in his hand, looks down at me and asks what I'm doing.
"Tying his shoelaces to his desk." No reason to even try and lie since it was pretty obvious. His response was something like "Oh, here's a student of the month award" then he just walked away.
For my final french test I had to make an oral presentation, anything could work. I've brought three friends with me and played a Dungeons and Dragons games for like thirty minutes in front of a "wtf?!?" class. I got 105% for that! Five bonus points! Weee.
Things are going along fairly standardly for a class activity, which with my particular graduating class meant complete disinterest and creativity, when suddenly the Prussians approach us with a brilliant plan. In essence, we would combine our economic and military powers, begin by conquering a land bridge between the two states, and then begin our expansion outwards, eventually consuming Europe in its entirety. This new state would eventually come to be known officially as The Superpower of Prance.
My fellow countrymen were a little apprehensive towards the plot, pushing instead for more standard political measures. I however, would not be satisfied a France mired in mediocrity, and pleaded for a France that would shake the entirety of the continent. My allies finally broke, and the plan was set in motion.
Anyway, we're quietly waiting to make our move when some resolution that we'd agreed upon came up to the vote(possibly regarding the splitting of some of that land in the Poland area). It seemed that everything was in place when suddenly the dirty Prussian bastards stab us in the back and vote against the resolution, and the glorious future it promised.
Fortunately, this also had the effect of crippling England's ability to meet one of its objectives. With this in mind, I approached the English delegation with a plan for vengeance, gain, and glory. France would act as England's bridge into Europe, serving as a port and base of operations, as well as supplementing the English army with supplies and troops. England could use this opportunity to not only bring down divine justice upon Prussia, but could also use it as an opportunity to gain influence on the mainland. It took some convincing, but eventually the English were persuaded.
This, however, was all merely a backdrop for proud France's true plan. We would allow the English to land and begin operations against the Prussians, but only whilst simultaneously stealing what English vessels docked in French harbors we could, and destroying anything else. With this sudden shift of naval power, the main force of the French army would launch a do-or-die mission onto the city of London.
In any case, regardless of the ridiculosity of the situation, the teacher was a pretty easy-going guy, and was probaby just happy that we were participating, so he let all of this play out. Since the whole thing was only one class period, we couldn't really play out an epic military struggle like I would have liked. He just rolled a couple of dice when we announced our attack, and said we lost(which is bologna). In any case, despite this, we met most of our objectives, and he said we'd actually scored the most points as France out of any of his classes.
This was in October or November, after the leaves have fallen, but before the snow. Pretty much just bitter ugly cold and blech. I was on the North side, which was started out at the bottom of the hill, behind a street and a tree line. The South was placed in the mini-forest at the top of the hill. Between, the hill, consisting of a field of... well, grass. No corn there. The object, theoretically, was for one side to kill the other. We would do this through exceedingly complicated means involving air cannons and air muskets and air ammo and it all boiled down to screaming "Bang! You're dead!" at each other.
What wound up happening is the South largely stayed put in the trees and the North scattered up the hill at widely varying paces. There was barely any 'shooting' going on, in fact none that I could discern, and I personally took a leisurely walk around the hill and wandered around in the forest until the teacher called us in. Apparently my side 'won', though I fail to see why we won as I didn't note anyone claiming to have been 'shot', I saw no 'corpses' on either side, or any indication, in fact, that anyone gave half a shit about any re-enactment besides the teacher. It was cold and we just wanted back inside.
In short: Teacher asks us to re-enact Gettysburg, we respond with aimless wandering.
This actually fucking happened in my class too! Biology 104, Northern Illinois University. We just went over Blood Types. A girl pipes up that the professor must be wrong because her mother is A and her father is AB and she has O type blood. (This is not possible, the mother must be Aa or AA and the father is AB - no way are you getting an 'aa' out of it).
It was followed by several seconds of uncomfortable silence then the teacher just continued like nothing happened.
I don't cheat myself, but I sure as hell facilitate cheating for others.
If I finish a quiz and the teacher wants us to hold onto it - I lay back in the chair, hands behind my head and let anyone who's around me full view of my answers.
I think it's a measure of community service.
Also, in my General Studies A-Level (there's a useful qualification), you had to do a section on a foreign language, which for me meant French. Now, I'd not studied any French for the past year or so, and was never very good at it when I did. The test involved reading a bit of French, and answering questions on it (in English). The piece was about a French Scrabble tournament. Luckily, not long before I'd read about how they play Scrabble in France (they mostly play a different way that essentially sucks all the fun out of it), so I could answer several of the questions without actually translating anything.
Puzzle League: 073119-160185
It's actually possible through a recessive trait known as the "Bombay Phenotype" where the H antigen (precursor to the a and b antigen) is not produced.
Looking for a Hardcore Fantasy Extraction Shooter? - Dark and Darker
Yeah well, it's extremely rare, and mostly just in India. Hence...Bombay.
NNID: Hakkekage
In HS i pulled an A on a final English test where we had to choose a character from modern literature who fufilled Shakesperes classical tragic hero archtype. My choice: Humpty Dumpty
In college if it was an essay test (other than a technical essay) I would bring a flask of rum to the final (I creative write better when I'm a little loose)
My final paper for Freshman English was kept by the professor so he could show it to other classes as an example (a good example). The writing of that paper was preceded by the downing of a bottle of merlot (I find reds to be good writing wines) and then some. I don't recall actually reading the paper until the afternoon of the next day.
The next morning I took it with me to campus as a joke (the weather had kept the bottle cold), and I ended up drinking it during my test. The only thing that actually makes this funny is that my roommate, who had been flooding the punch with vodka, was in the same class and instantly recognized the bottle. By the time the test was over, my face was bright red and we were both laughing like morons. I somehow still managed an A on the test.
It felt good while it felt good, though.
I'll just add to the growing pile of essay tales- I've always had an easy time with them, and got scores at the top of the class on them (good thing, too, it made up for my lacking knowledge of grammar) without really trying to. Just the generic "intro, body, conclusion" form.
Except once. One time, I really wanted to make something special. I junked the generic form and wrote a long essay about the subject where I weaved all the otherwise-segmented information into it without unnecessary topic changes. 'Twas a thing of beauty. Ended up the lowest graded essay I ever wrote, just barely passing. Kinda stopped caring afterwards.
See, I would have just bunched everything together and taped it to the scissors in a rough fashion, then hurled them dangerously down the hall and possibly into someones eye.
It would have been glorious I tell you.
This is an idea I can get behind.
I'd much rather be behind this idea than in front of it, considering it involves flying scissors.
We had broken up into groups, and my group had gotten something to do with slavery, and I volunteered to present our research. While our research was just fine, it was the Q&A afterwards that threw me off.
The teacher asked "Ok, so, what can you tell me about the underground railroad?" Now, I am not an idiot. I knew damn well what the underground railroad was long ago, but for some reason, I totally blanked, and just said "Well, it's a lot like the metro, only full of slaves"
He gave me the most incredulous look I've ever seen from a teacher, and proceeded a ask a series of further questions, the extent of which I do not recall, but I never gave in. I had spaced that first answer, so I just bullshitted my way through the rest of the questions, resting on the UG being a fucking metro for black people, and we got an A.
It was awesome.
Damned things went right into the board from at least 10 feet away. It was a marvelous feat, or just really lucky. Either way, seeing a pair of scissors imbeded in a chalkboard struck us as very very funny.
These were the same people who would have competitions involving throwing lunch meat on the window and seeing which ones stayed up the longest, took a magnet, playdough and more scissors to the classroom computer, and gave at least two teachers minor nervous breakdowns (which many people lay claim to, but I'm referring to periods where the teacher took extended leave in response to our direct actions).
That was during Elementary school, in Highschool I think we matured, if just a little. We did have one teacher who had the oddest habit of referring to herself in the third person. "Mrs. Bain does not like..." etc. We began counting the number of times she did this, and kept track. We decided that when she reached 100, we'd all begin cheering. The day arrived, it occurred, she looked at us like we were crazy (having no idea what we were celebrating) and went back to the lesson plan.
I certainly wasn't a saint during those days, but I like to think I was a bit better behaved than many. Unfortunately, I was also a heavy procrastinator and slacked in general, ending high school with a 70% average.
Maybe one day I'll outgrow that scholastic mediocrity, rather than just perusing things on Wikipedia that interest me.
The first kid did it fairly hard. The second kid fucking ran all out into the board and dented it, and then fell over in pain. The teacher from the class on the other side of this wall came over to our class seconds later asking why his entire whiteboard just shook.
Also, a kid once got busted during lunch in Grade 5 for pretending to be playing baseball in the classroom and sliding into home plate just as the teacher walked in to check in on us. Home plate was the garbage can, which he knocked over.
Some people asked what happened, as they didn't see what he did to get in trouble. So he proceeded to show them what he had just done, just as the teacher walked in again. It was priceless.
The second was some essay for a psychology class. I forget exactly what the topic was, but it had fuck-all to do with this paper I'd written. Nevertheless, I was too lazy to do the assignment, and so I handed in the same old essay with a note attached saying that while I knew this wasn't exactly what was asked of us, when I sat down to write, this is what came flowing out. And that I felt very strongly that such feelings should be expressed when they're clearly what was destined to pour forth from my pen, or whatever. I got a B+.
It became a simple game of starting every line of notes with the correct answer (multiple choice / True/False) in a way to make them seem legitimate
stout's Amazon Wishlist | my lastFM
- John Stuart Mill
In one of the rooms at my local campus is a map of the US. It's your basic classroom-grade lamination job; you've likely seen your share of them. Back in my first semester, I got the urge to place all surplus pushpins in the room (which I defined as, all pushpins that were not load-bearing) into the map. I started with pushing them into New York and Chicago and LA, then soon I got the urge to keep doing this with any spare pushpins I found and balancing out the load as much as possible, until someone removed them or told me to stop.
Today, 3 1/2 years later, I placed pushpins in Fort Myers, FL, San Luis Obispo, CA and rural Missouri. There have to be somewhere around 200 in that thing and not only has nobody removed them, nobody has even NOTICED this map, inside a classroom, with 200 pushpins in it. Or how it got that way.
I'm in organic chemistry right now, and this is the greatest thing I've seen today.
Or do they form words or something?