was it that he was a demon and his father didn't want him to go on the spaceship because then he'd realise he was a demon and the radio was his subconscious leading him onto the ship and then he saw the other demons who knew he was a demon and were all why is he shooting at us and then the ceiling caved in and he realised he was a demon
and then he was a zombie
it is a rambo-like decryal of the dehumanizing effects of battle and a subtle critique of the vietnam war
Tube I'm trying to give you my money but its telling me to give you some type of weird ass currency I am not familiar with, its some kind of E or some shit.
He had tried asking Bones for advice, he had tried his female shipmates Lt.
Uhura and Nurse Christine Chapel as well, he had even considered asking Scotty
in desperation, but he knew the Scot had a tendency towards being tongue-tied
when it came to women.
In the end, he went to Spock, like he always did. He stared into the unrelenting
mirror for the thousandth time since he and Janice Lester had been
'reacquainted'. He caught Spock's neutral expression as it flickered through
something like apprehension before the mask slid back into place.
"This..." Kirk paused, with a tilt of his chin towards his body, "...this isn't
me."
He held his slim arms out, and then folded them under an all too prominent, too
permanent bosom as he watched the reflection on the mirror do the same. He saw
Janice Lester's body and features, dressed in a standard Starfleet officer's
shirt-dress, female styled, adorned only with command gold. The three rings on
the sleeve were unusual; only four women Starfleet officers had reached the rank
and position of Starship captain. Well, three women and now himself, a chimera,
James T. Kirk, the great womanizer, trapped by an old flame and an ancient alien
machine.
The lady had been insane, the machine smashed beyond repair. How ironic! James
Kirk was stuck like this for... for the foreseeable future, he decided, shying
away from the thought of the potential permanency of his new feminine... height.
A weak chuckle escaped his lips. He might be able to adjust to this better if
only he didn't look so damned good in a skirt now...
"Orders, Captain?" said Spock, his voice a steadying factor in Kirk's ears.
Sensing his Captain's distress, he continued. "You appear somewhat uncomfortable
in that uniform, sir. As we both know, Starfleet does not wish your...
condition... to become public knowledge. You have been entered on the Fleet
rolls as Captain Janice Lester. All other human-female officers, including the
captains, wear standard female uniforms. It could excite some unwanted interest
for you not to adopt the same dress code as the other... officers. Besides, the
rest of the crew now know at least a portion of what happened to you."
"Yes, but..." he stopped and shrugged. "I suppose the news will get out sooner
or later."
"Later would be better, Captain. The Klingon Empire, for example, would make
much out of your predicament." Kirk shuddered at the thought of the propaganda
rumors Starfleet's enemies could spread about him. "Besides, we may be able to
reverse the effects of the alien machine before any such rumors are spread."
"Hasten the day, Spock, hasten the day." He took one last look at the mirror.
He had, thankfully, taken Nurse Chapel's advice, and decided not to auto-barber
Janice's hair into a mannish crop, but it took more personal effort to keep the
longer style from running riot. To be honest with himself though, he rather
enjoyed having long hair after decades of a military cut favored by Star Fleet.
He tucked a few errant hairs away behind his ears before turning towards the
door, heart full of apprehension at what was to come.
"Well, duty calls, Number One." He led the way from his quarters along the
hallway towards the bridge turbolifts, Spock in his customary position a half-
step behind him. Kirk noticed his first officer's pace was somewhat shorter than
usual, as he endeavored to match his captain's abbreviated stride. Damn, he
thought, so many changes, so quick. Damn you, Janice for what you have done to
us!
Even on the short walk to the lifts, his attention was quickly drawn to the
looks he was getting from the crewmembers he passed. He felt discomfiture
created by their stares, especially those from human men, and bit down on the
resulting flare of anger. By the time they got to the bridge turbolift, his neck
and face were glowing red with embarrassment. Luckily, the lift compartment was
empty.
"Bridge." He said. Spock raised an eyebrow at the edge in his voice, and Kirk
lost it.
"Damn!" he shouted, slamming his hand against the wall panels. He grasped the
lift control, and said, "Halt." The turbo-elevator whined to a stop.
"I can't do this, Spock. Not dressed like this." Kirk plucked at the hem of his
feminine outfit with impotence. Spock stood silent, knowing his friend needed to
speak without interruption. "I'm a man, up here." He tapped the side of his
head, and then waved his hand at the curves of his new body.
"The rest of this isn't me. It's just a mask, a costume, but anyone looking at
me now, even the ones that know the truth, believe the lie they see. This..." He
paused and pulled the neckline up to hide the upper portion of his bosom. "This
outfit just makes the lie even more plausible." Kirk stopped, and Spock knew he
expected an answer.
"As you know, Jim, Vulcans do not lie. We find it a most peculiar trait of other
races. Starfleet has ordered you to lie, to tell the universe you are Janice
Lester, a Starship Captain." He indicated the short-skirted outfit Kirk was
wearing, the dark tights over feminine legs, the ankle boots with the higher-
than-usual heels. "The uniform you are wearing is part of that lie. A necessary
part."
James was silent for a second. "Necessary." He shrugged, and noted with some
amusement the gesture's effects were less alien than they had been two weeks
before, thanks in part to Lt. Uhura's timely advice about brassieres. "Well, I
always do what's necessary, don't I, Spock?"
He raised an eyebrow back at the saturnine figure who loomed over his reduced
stature. One slight benefit of this borrowed body of his was the newfound
ability to go eyebrow-to-eyebrow with his first officer. Spock said nothing, but
his agreement was clear to his Captain.
"I'm just waiting for some crewman to walk into a wall when he's distracted by
my 'necessaries'." The joke was wasted on Spock, who made a sort-of cough in
response. "Thank you, Mr. Spock." Kirk said to his friend. Spock's face didn't
change a millimeter, but he moved the lift control from the security position
and the turbolift whined into life again.
Captain Janice Lester had only one word to say. "Bridge". Moments later, the
lift doors opened, and she stepped out of the lift. Then she paused, where
Captain James T. Kirk always paused, to take in the sight of the bridge crew, of
the viewscreen, and the command Chair set in the center of the curving control
arrays. Mr. Spock broke away behind her, heading towards his usual place at the
Science panel. Commander Montgomery Scott swiveled around, and then vacated the
Chair as Janice Lester stepped forward down onto the command deck. Scott touched
a control on the Chair's arm as she approached, and she noticed the seat sink
slightly towards the floor.
"I modified it for you, Captain." He explained with a touch of shy pride. "You
control the height with this rocker panel."
She smiled. "Thank you, Scotty."
"Aye, Captain. I'll be down in Engineering if you need me." He bustled off
towards the turbolift and his favorite part of the ship as Janice sat down in
the command Chair. The reduced height made it less of a scramble than it had
been for the past two weeks. She remembered just in time to keep her knees
modestly together, and then gave Kirk's customary glance around the bridge.
Uhura smiled at her, obviously pleased at seeing her Captain wearing a standard
uniform at last. She smiled back, and then nodded her support. The Captain had a
good figure the uniform let everyone know it. It appeared that James Kirk had
finally made some peace with his new gender, and it was about time. There was
nothing wrong with being a woman and so much that he could learn to love about
it if he gave his feminine side even half a chance.
"Report, Captain." Uhura's melodious voice read off the clearances and official
signals on her panel. The ship would remain in spacedock until she gave the all-
clear signal to her Commanding Officer that the crew reported the Enterprise to
be in fit shape to depart. Earth Traffic Control then released the Enterprise
back into her crew's capable hands, and Captain Janice Lester swiveled back
around to face the viewscreen.
"Mr. Sulu?"
"Course laid in, Captain. Destination, Agross Four."
Janice smoothed her skirt down over her thighs with an almost careless gesture,
(thank you again, Lieutenant Uhura, she thought, for the lessons in wearing a
skirt), then she took a deep breath. She tried to smile as she saw a male Yeoman
watch her chest move and avert his eyes as he realized his attention had been
noted.
"Take us out of orbit, Mr. Sulu. Impulse power ahead one half."
"Impulse power ahead one half, aye-aye Ma'am."
He punched the helm controls as Janice smothered a feminine urge to giggle at
his unconscious recognition of her new gender, reinforced, no doubt, by her new
uniform. They watched the viewscreen as the blue-and-white planet Earth
disappeared off to one side. Janice carefully crossed one leg over the other
with another slight adjustment to that frustratingly abbreviated skirt, and
observed the bridge crew's efficient routine until they had cleared the crowded
space traffic zone around Earth. She pushed a button on the armrest, and
Scotty's voice came over the intercom.
"Aye, Captain?"
"Ready for warp, Scotty?"
"That we are, Captain." She felt suddenly happy, happier than any time since the
involuntary body exchange. With this ship and this crew, James T. Kirk had gone
everywhere. With this ship and this crew, *she* could go everywhere too. She
turned back to the helm station.
"In that case, Mr. Sulu, ahead warp factor two."
"Warp factor two it is, Captain."
The stars in the viewscreen streaked by as the Enterprise leapt forward, into
the unknown, into the future, into the far reaches of the Universe, her crew and
her Captain boldly going where no-one had gone before.
Posts
that is the only way I can imagine someone providing such deep insight
bravo, man
it is a rambo-like decryal of the dehumanizing effects of battle and a subtle critique of the vietnam war
http://www.supload.com/music/Shadow-Of-The-Awfullossus-download-TCFYRD7YY8WG.html
I just love this video so much.
What the hell is it for anyways? Recording fees?
legal fees
Catering
hookers
This is all the same thing for me.
no meiz it's to buy a puppy and name it Album
Blow
What, does "Fuckmeat" need some company for those nights when you're away?
I was hoping this would get posted. Even my non-nerd friends love it.
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Sweet joke Meiz you're really coming into your own.
thank you for all the money meiz you're now definitely better than hacksaw (he's awful)
worth it
Exactly how much of my money am I going to have to give you before I can be considered "Not Awful"?
that's like a hundred bucks
Then give it all to Tube.
Rinse, repeat.
How did you know it was me?
Anyways, you're welcome and there's no need to feel bad.
Consider it payment for services rendered to this lovely little colostomy bag we like to call a forum.
I dunno what to do man I'm freaking out.
€?
Lemme check, I think its more like a & but more lines.
now that is a fantastic idea, and i completely forgot i could do that
He had tried asking Bones for advice, he had tried his female shipmates Lt.
Uhura and Nurse Christine Chapel as well, he had even considered asking Scotty
in desperation, but he knew the Scot had a tendency towards being tongue-tied
when it came to women.
In the end, he went to Spock, like he always did. He stared into the unrelenting
mirror for the thousandth time since he and Janice Lester had been
'reacquainted'. He caught Spock's neutral expression as it flickered through
something like apprehension before the mask slid back into place.
"This..." Kirk paused, with a tilt of his chin towards his body, "...this isn't
me."
He held his slim arms out, and then folded them under an all too prominent, too
permanent bosom as he watched the reflection on the mirror do the same. He saw
Janice Lester's body and features, dressed in a standard Starfleet officer's
shirt-dress, female styled, adorned only with command gold. The three rings on
the sleeve were unusual; only four women Starfleet officers had reached the rank
and position of Starship captain. Well, three women and now himself, a chimera,
James T. Kirk, the great womanizer, trapped by an old flame and an ancient alien
machine.
The lady had been insane, the machine smashed beyond repair. How ironic! James
Kirk was stuck like this for... for the foreseeable future, he decided, shying
away from the thought of the potential permanency of his new feminine... height.
A weak chuckle escaped his lips. He might be able to adjust to this better if
only he didn't look so damned good in a skirt now...
"Orders, Captain?" said Spock, his voice a steadying factor in Kirk's ears.
Sensing his Captain's distress, he continued. "You appear somewhat uncomfortable
in that uniform, sir. As we both know, Starfleet does not wish your...
condition... to become public knowledge. You have been entered on the Fleet
rolls as Captain Janice Lester. All other human-female officers, including the
captains, wear standard female uniforms. It could excite some unwanted interest
for you not to adopt the same dress code as the other... officers. Besides, the
rest of the crew now know at least a portion of what happened to you."
"Yes, but..." he stopped and shrugged. "I suppose the news will get out sooner
or later."
"Later would be better, Captain. The Klingon Empire, for example, would make
much out of your predicament." Kirk shuddered at the thought of the propaganda
rumors Starfleet's enemies could spread about him. "Besides, we may be able to
reverse the effects of the alien machine before any such rumors are spread."
"Hasten the day, Spock, hasten the day." He took one last look at the mirror.
He had, thankfully, taken Nurse Chapel's advice, and decided not to auto-barber
Janice's hair into a mannish crop, but it took more personal effort to keep the
longer style from running riot. To be honest with himself though, he rather
enjoyed having long hair after decades of a military cut favored by Star Fleet.
He tucked a few errant hairs away behind his ears before turning towards the
door, heart full of apprehension at what was to come.
"Well, duty calls, Number One." He led the way from his quarters along the
hallway towards the bridge turbolifts, Spock in his customary position a half-
step behind him. Kirk noticed his first officer's pace was somewhat shorter than
usual, as he endeavored to match his captain's abbreviated stride. Damn, he
thought, so many changes, so quick. Damn you, Janice for what you have done to
us!
Even on the short walk to the lifts, his attention was quickly drawn to the
looks he was getting from the crewmembers he passed. He felt discomfiture
created by their stares, especially those from human men, and bit down on the
resulting flare of anger. By the time they got to the bridge turbolift, his neck
and face were glowing red with embarrassment. Luckily, the lift compartment was
empty.
"Bridge." He said. Spock raised an eyebrow at the edge in his voice, and Kirk
lost it.
"Damn!" he shouted, slamming his hand against the wall panels. He grasped the
lift control, and said, "Halt." The turbo-elevator whined to a stop.
"I can't do this, Spock. Not dressed like this." Kirk plucked at the hem of his
feminine outfit with impotence. Spock stood silent, knowing his friend needed to
speak without interruption. "I'm a man, up here." He tapped the side of his
head, and then waved his hand at the curves of his new body.
"The rest of this isn't me. It's just a mask, a costume, but anyone looking at
me now, even the ones that know the truth, believe the lie they see. This..." He
paused and pulled the neckline up to hide the upper portion of his bosom. "This
outfit just makes the lie even more plausible." Kirk stopped, and Spock knew he
expected an answer.
"As you know, Jim, Vulcans do not lie. We find it a most peculiar trait of other
races. Starfleet has ordered you to lie, to tell the universe you are Janice
Lester, a Starship Captain." He indicated the short-skirted outfit Kirk was
wearing, the dark tights over feminine legs, the ankle boots with the higher-
than-usual heels. "The uniform you are wearing is part of that lie. A necessary
part."
James was silent for a second. "Necessary." He shrugged, and noted with some
amusement the gesture's effects were less alien than they had been two weeks
before, thanks in part to Lt. Uhura's timely advice about brassieres. "Well, I
always do what's necessary, don't I, Spock?"
He raised an eyebrow back at the saturnine figure who loomed over his reduced
stature. One slight benefit of this borrowed body of his was the newfound
ability to go eyebrow-to-eyebrow with his first officer. Spock said nothing, but
his agreement was clear to his Captain.
"I'm just waiting for some crewman to walk into a wall when he's distracted by
my 'necessaries'." The joke was wasted on Spock, who made a sort-of cough in
response. "Thank you, Mr. Spock." Kirk said to his friend. Spock's face didn't
change a millimeter, but he moved the lift control from the security position
and the turbolift whined into life again.
Captain Janice Lester had only one word to say. "Bridge". Moments later, the
lift doors opened, and she stepped out of the lift. Then she paused, where
Captain James T. Kirk always paused, to take in the sight of the bridge crew, of
the viewscreen, and the command Chair set in the center of the curving control
arrays. Mr. Spock broke away behind her, heading towards his usual place at the
Science panel. Commander Montgomery Scott swiveled around, and then vacated the
Chair as Janice Lester stepped forward down onto the command deck. Scott touched
a control on the Chair's arm as she approached, and she noticed the seat sink
slightly towards the floor.
"I modified it for you, Captain." He explained with a touch of shy pride. "You
control the height with this rocker panel."
She smiled. "Thank you, Scotty."
"Aye, Captain. I'll be down in Engineering if you need me." He bustled off
towards the turbolift and his favorite part of the ship as Janice sat down in
the command Chair. The reduced height made it less of a scramble than it had
been for the past two weeks. She remembered just in time to keep her knees
modestly together, and then gave Kirk's customary glance around the bridge.
Uhura smiled at her, obviously pleased at seeing her Captain wearing a standard
uniform at last. She smiled back, and then nodded her support. The Captain had a
good figure the uniform let everyone know it. It appeared that James Kirk had
finally made some peace with his new gender, and it was about time. There was
nothing wrong with being a woman and so much that he could learn to love about
it if he gave his feminine side even half a chance.
"Report, Captain." Uhura's melodious voice read off the clearances and official
signals on her panel. The ship would remain in spacedock until she gave the all-
clear signal to her Commanding Officer that the crew reported the Enterprise to
be in fit shape to depart. Earth Traffic Control then released the Enterprise
back into her crew's capable hands, and Captain Janice Lester swiveled back
around to face the viewscreen.
"Mr. Sulu?"
"Course laid in, Captain. Destination, Agross Four."
Janice smoothed her skirt down over her thighs with an almost careless gesture,
(thank you again, Lieutenant Uhura, she thought, for the lessons in wearing a
skirt), then she took a deep breath. She tried to smile as she saw a male Yeoman
watch her chest move and avert his eyes as he realized his attention had been
noted.
"Take us out of orbit, Mr. Sulu. Impulse power ahead one half."
"Impulse power ahead one half, aye-aye Ma'am."
He punched the helm controls as Janice smothered a feminine urge to giggle at
his unconscious recognition of her new gender, reinforced, no doubt, by her new
uniform. They watched the viewscreen as the blue-and-white planet Earth
disappeared off to one side. Janice carefully crossed one leg over the other
with another slight adjustment to that frustratingly abbreviated skirt, and
observed the bridge crew's efficient routine until they had cleared the crowded
space traffic zone around Earth. She pushed a button on the armrest, and
Scotty's voice came over the intercom.
"Aye, Captain?"
"Ready for warp, Scotty?"
"That we are, Captain." She felt suddenly happy, happier than any time since the
involuntary body exchange. With this ship and this crew, James T. Kirk had gone
everywhere. With this ship and this crew, *she* could go everywhere too. She
turned back to the helm station.
"In that case, Mr. Sulu, ahead warp factor two."
"Warp factor two it is, Captain."
The stars in the viewscreen streaked by as the Enterprise leapt forward, into
the unknown, into the future, into the far reaches of the Universe, her crew and
her Captain boldly going where no-one had gone before.
As always.
The end and the beginning....
Crap, and the rapidshare ran out.
Just youtube it and put in a single image in the video background or something.
Knob's thing ran out
Someone put it somewhere else?
EDIT: It's the "you are the demons," one, right?
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Just fuckin' with ya
thank you
hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |