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Really strange sex question...

Anonymous7398Anonymous7398 Registered User regular
edited November 2008 in Help / Advice Forum
So H/A, I have a problem. Alt used for privacy reasons.

My girlfriend and I had sex last night, and we did not use a condom. She uses other forms of birth control besides condoms, and we have both been tested and do not have any STDs. The concern is this: After the act, she went to clean up and was complaining that it had a burning sensation. She also complains of this sensation when we use condoms, she describes it as a 5 or 6 in pain intensity on a scale from 1 to 10. Her vagina swells up when this happens because of the pain as well. She said I am not the only guy she has had this problem with, and this also happened sometimes with her previous guy. To be clear, this only happens immediately after sex until she cleans herself up, and sometimes a little longer.

The only thing I can think of is she either has an STD we are unaware of, or she is allergic to semen. Either one does not sound fun to work around, so any ideas H/A?

Anonymous7398 on

Posts

  • ProPatriaMoriProPatriaMori Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Well, since she complains when you use condoms, either this isn't a semen allergy or you need to start buying better condoms.

    Off the top of my head I'd suspect lube or just plain ol' overvigorous usage.

    ProPatriaMori on
  • DanMachDanMach Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Its very unlikely its an STD. Especially if its only "activated" by sex.

    Could be an allergy, overusage(as said already), or something much wierder.

    In short. Tell her to go to the OBGYN. Don't let her put it off, this kind of crap has a way of ruining sex for some people.

    DanMach on
  • SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Suspicion falls to any extra fluids. It reminded me of this, but thats more before the fact, not after.

    During though, all is well, just after?

    Edit: Holy shit, semen allergies are extremely real, and often misdiagnosed as STD's. Thats one to tuck away, for sure.

    There seems to be some docs indicating lower than average estrogen levels can cause friction burning from sex. Common cause: BC pill. Lubing up seems to be a decent symptomatic treatment.

    So apparently, if you're using los lubra, stop, and if you're not, use more.

    Sarcastro on
    Edcrab wrote: »
    "See," said Lucifer, "God's an asshole."
  • DanMachDanMach Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Also, I just thought of this. Whats her normal pain tolerance?? is this a sharp pain, or more of an irratation? How long does it last?

    DanMach on
  • Anonymous7398Anonymous7398 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Vaginismus is a possibility, since she has not had sex in over 10 months and was kind of nervous. We did go at it a little rougher than normal, so that could also be the cause. I am however more concerned about the semen allergy, since that perfectly describes her symptoms. She made me stop because after I came she felt a burning sensation, went to wash it out, and was swollen / hurting down there for the rest of the night.

    Honestly it could be any of the three....vaginismus, plain old rough use, or allergies. *sigh* Guess we won't know for sure, really.

    Anonymous7398 on
  • Anonymous7398Anonymous7398 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    DanMach wrote: »
    Also, I just thought of this. Whats her normal pain tolerance?? is this a sharp pain, or more of an irratation? How long does it last?

    It was a burning sensation, not a sharp pain. Her pain tolerance is not generally very high. She was very uninterested in sex after this, so I'm guessing it lasted for a while.

    Anonymous7398 on
  • SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    So it was an 'all natural' sex event then?

    Sarcastro on
    Edcrab wrote: »
    "See," said Lucifer, "God's an asshole."
  • Anonymous7398Anonymous7398 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Sarcastro wrote: »
    So it was an 'all natural' sex event then?

    Correct. We didn't use lube, because honestly I don't have a lot of experience with that stuff and we didn't have time to procure any. She lives with her parents and my parents are always here when I come home on holidays, so we kind of have to take the time we can get.

    Anonymous7398 on
  • SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Lame. Hmm.

    If you can, a small bottle of Astroglide or ID millenium would probably do the trick. On the whole, a water based lube (astro) is very unlikely to cause any kind reaction, where as odds go up a bit (yeast infections) with silicone, but its more pleasent to use (water based lubes get very sticky, silicone lubes just kind of fade).

    If not, there always oral, or you know, general excitement. Hard to find good workarounds on the spot like that, but in a pinch if you give her two or three orgasms in foreplay, nature takes care of itself. You should be able to feel snags or catches, or rough spots on the interior with your cock; not textured as such, but the sensation will be slightly different, a light tingle within the overall sensation. It not bad to start, ease out, manually (keep those hands washed and nails trimmed, btw) play a bit, and then go back in, ensuring that whatever natural lube does exist is spread evenly.

    Saliva is almost its own topic. Exterior use is whatever, but if you use it on the interior, it dries very quick and ups the risk of yeast infections (good oral hygiene is always important). So it'll start smooth, and then go dry when youre too into it to notice or care and that can turn out badly. If you must, then reapply often; the need to do so will ease off a bit after the third or fourth orgasm on her part when everythings slicked up.

    If everything already seems pretty slick as it is, you have have other issues to deal with. Hope not though, kind of a moodbreaker until you find a solid approach to handling whatever.

    Sarcastro on
    Edcrab wrote: »
    "See," said Lucifer, "God's an asshole."
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Might want to also think about an allergy to a soap or bodywash you use.

    Gafoto on
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  • PheezerPheezer Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    She could just have a regular ole UTI. It happens. That or she's drying out or getting stretched more than she's used to (sounds like she doesn't have a lot of sex and if she's not using toys that are your size or larger...)


    Anyhow, I wouldn't be too stressed. Obviously you want to resolve this so that she enjoys sex more. That's a good idea. Worrying about an STD at this point is very very very probably completely unnecessary.

    Pheezer on
    IT'S GOT ME REACHING IN MY POCKET IT'S GOT ME FORKING OVER CASH
    CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
  • Anonymous7398Anonymous7398 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Some good advice in this thread, thanks for the help. I'll make sure to get a bottle of lube for next time and see if that fixes the problem. If it doesn't, then it's probably vaginismus because she is very uncomfortable with her body. I find the semen allergy to be very unlikely since the other two problems seem to be far more common. Thanks for the help guys, and if you have any other helpful hints don't be shy :)

    Anonymous7398 on
  • PheezerPheezer Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2008
    If it turns out that she's so uncomfortable with her body that she self consciously tightens up to the point where sex hurts, you should probably consider the possibility of not having sex with her for a while and determining if it's possible for you to help her confront those issues. It's entirely possible that if you're both younger (psst 18 is still young) that this may be very difficult to resolve, should it be that at fault.

    Pheezer on
    IT'S GOT ME REACHING IN MY POCKET IT'S GOT ME FORKING OVER CASH
    CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
  • Anonymous7398Anonymous7398 Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Pheezer wrote: »
    If it turns out that she's so uncomfortable with her body that she self consciously tightens up to the point where sex hurts, you should probably consider the possibility of not having sex with her for a while and determining if it's possible for you to help her confront those issues. It's entirely possible that if you're both younger (psst 18 is still young) that this may be very difficult to resolve, should it be that at fault.

    No, that's not an issue. She's uncomfortable with her body because she feels she is overweight and she has a very low self-image, nothing I do changes that. Also, she has a greater libido than I do which means if I'm not in town she is constantly complaining about how she isn't having sex. It isn't that she's uncomfortable with sex, it's that she gets nervous when she's naked because she thinks she is fat. Trust me, I've been working with her on this issue and she's gotten a lot better. If she wasn't so adamant about wanting as much sex as she does, I would agree with your take on the matter, however I think she would strangle me if I suggested we have even less sex than currently. We're both 22 and very open about everything in the relationship, so I don't believe it's an immaturity issue.

    If you guys have any suggestions for how I can make her feel better about her body, let me know. I've just been very complimentary, telling her how attractive I find her in that outfit, etc. etc. but I'm wondering if there's anything else I could be doing to help.

    Anonymous7398 on
  • RhinoRhino Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Could it just be "friction burns"? Does she get wet easily or do you use lots of lube?

    Rhino on
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  • radroadkillradroadkill MDRegistered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Definitely have her see an OBGYN. It could be something she needs treatment for or to get clarified, like a UTI or an allergy and it's best to rule it out...

    But it may just be a lack of lube or friction. Try a lube and see how it works. I know if my husband and I don't use lube I can get a similar sensation if I'm not super naturally lubricated (and I'm around the same age: 21, so it's not really age dependent and an occur with anyone). It's not an uncommon feeling for women to get sometimes and between my friends and I it seems to be a friction type of deal; if it's happening more often she may just be super sensitive but the high frequency of the occurences makes me say have her do a routine checkup at the OBGYN and have her explain what's going on.

    It might also be nervousness, but it may also be related to possible lack os sexual experience; not that she's too "tight" but simply because if she's not had sex often in her life it might jsut be an adjustment period. I got that sensation a LOT more frequently when I became sexually active until finding out what worked best for me and my partner and made it the most comfortable.

    radroadkill on
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    Like some sort of raptor or the Great panda, Rad cannot properly initiate egg preparation if she senses a disturbance within her environment.
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre Registered User regular
    edited November 2008
    Semen allergies are super-rare.

    While it could be that, it's probably not.

    TehSpectre on
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  • DerpanDerpan Registered User
    edited November 2008
    Yeast infection, if not, use lubricant when you have sex.

    Derpan on
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