To move this on to a slightly different tack - what are everyone's viewpoints on posters of women? That is to say, having them on your wall. I actually find them closer to cheating than watching pornography. Porn is nearly always a functional thing; you're using it just to get off. Posters of women seem more.. more like you have a desire to stare at attractive women, which you certainly wouldn't get away with whilst walking around town with your girlfriend.
edit: You seem to want a male backslap session where we reaffirm you in the necessity of viewing porn - which you got a little at the start - then as soon as some other people voiced different opinions, you've gotton more defensive. No-one thinks you're an arsehole.
Seriously, I don't think you're an asshole. I think there are two parties who are at odds and have it in their interest to compromise with each other. I think professional counseling is a very good idea right now, and you would suggest you re-approach it with your wife, just make sure to approach it with an angle that lets her know it's about more than just looking at porn.
Also, I'm not in a sexist 50's mindset, I am just saying that I have sacrificed everything in my life that I enjoyed doing in order to take care of her, and our kids... I haven't had much time to write, or play bass, or see my friends, or even complete a single Stars! game, because I've been working every hour of every day to keep her happy. I'm not expecting gratitude (and I'm not getting it), I am just pointing out that so far, she's expunged everything from my life that I used to enjoy.
Dude.
Counseling.
Now.
From what you've said, your relationship has some serious issues, of which Big Titted Whores From Babylon is just a sampling. If you're feeling like your wife has extracted everything from your life that you enjoy, that's not healthy. It's not healthy of your wife to expect it, and it's not healthy of you to provide it. People need to have their own hobbies and free time, and I say this as someone in a very happy marriage.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
From what you've said, your relationship has some serious issues, of which Big Titted Whores From Babylon is just a sampling.
Babylon 5, actually...
Man, I just can't stop posting here, can I? Must be some sort of an addiction. You all want me to stop posting here because it upsets you, but I keep doing it because I enjoy it. The ironing is delicious.
From what you've said, your relationship has some serious issues, of which Big Titted Whores From Babylon is just a sampling.
Babylon 5, actually...
Man, I just can't stop posting here, can I? Must be some sort of an addiction. You all want me to stop posting here because it upsets you, but I keep doing it because I enjoy it. The ironing is delicious.
Man, I just can't stop posting here, can I? Must be some sort of an addiction. You all want me to stop posting here because it upsets you, but I keep doing it because I enjoy it. The ironing is delicious.
If any of us were that upset by your posting, we'd stop reading it and responding. We're a garrulous bunch, we are.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
From what you've said, your relationship has some serious issues, of which Big Titted Whores From Babylon is just a sampling.
Babylon 5, actually...
Man, I just can't stop posting here, can I? Must be some sort of an addiction. You all want me to stop posting here because it upsets you, but I keep doing it because I enjoy it. The ironing is delicious.
You're not upsetting anyone.
This last post, however, is upsetting to at least me. Stop being a cock.
Okay, let's put the meta-commentary in the chat thread, and keep this thread on topic, please.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
Also, I'm not in a sexist 50's mindset, I am just saying that I have sacrificed everything in my life that I enjoyed doing in order to take care of her, and our kids... I haven't had much time to write, or play bass, or see my friends, or even complete a single Stars! game, because I've been working every hour of every day to keep her happy. I'm not expecting gratitude (and I'm not getting it), I am just pointing out that so far, she's expunged everything from my life that I used to enjoy.
Dude.
Counseling.
Now.
fjafjan on
Yepp, THE Fjafjan (who's THE fjafjan?)
- "Proving once again the deadliest animal of all ... is the Zoo Keeper" - Philip J Fry
I've sacrificed NEARLY everything for her. This last bit makes it officially everything. I thought it was a bit of a milestone.
You're clearly unhappy about having sacrificed (apparently) literally everything for her. Why do you do it, then?
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
You're clearly unhappy about having sacrificed (apparently) literally everything for her. Why do you do it, then?
It's easier than living with her when she's made up her mind to deliberately make me unhappy. Plus, I have the kids to worry about.
EDIT: Let's not make this about "Stay Together For The Kids". It should be stated that I love her, and I find her attractive. I would probably have blown my brains out being married to any of the other women who I find physically attractive and mentally repugnant. We do have some issues, but in spite of everything, I do love her, and my kids. This one issue, though, digs at me like a rusty fork stuck in a body cast, and I tend to respond to it with florid posting.
Thanks to all the people who kept a clear head through this thread.
Holy zombie jesus, your already at the doing it for the kids and they aren't even that old? You have left the city limits of healthy relationship and are now moving solidly into my life is a living hell of which this woman has brought me.
My advice, pull out like a teenager.
Preacher on
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
Holy zombie jesus, your already at the doing it for the kids and they aren't even that old? You have left the city limits of healthy relationship and are now moving solidly into my life is a living hell of which this woman has brought me.
Yeah, but they have three Taco Bells....
I said I wasn't "Doing it for the Kids". There's about a thousand reasons why I love her, and two reasons why I hate her. I'm not leaving her because of the two, when it's within my power to change myself so that those reasons are moot. I was raised with the belief that my own happiness is secondary to that of my family, and I'm going to finally give in and try it out.
Do I sound as whiny on here as it does in my head?
Sorry, it's just that there are some "experienced" forumers here. And some of them (us) can spot tell-tale signs of an insincere poster, who is trying to manipulate the thread in order to gain cred or get the response he wants, instead of just being up-front. Some tell-tale signs:
"Here's a topic that I want to see you guys discuss. On my command, go!" We welcome your contributions, but we aren't your flea circus.
"Gosh, that was a joke, you must have no sense of humor..."
referring to a post that maybe had a joke but probably was not at all a joke.
"I'm not posting anymore. I know I said that, but really this time."
Followed up with, "You want me to stop posting, and so I won't."
"You guys all don't like me but I don't care it's not my fault." Otherwise known as the state of Yarness.
And so on.
If tit porn really was the last thing of yourself you had left, the only thing you hadn't sacrificed, if it really was "everything" at this point, then you really do need serious counseling. It may be too late. You should have talked to her about when all those things you were sacrificing for her were something respectable and meaningful. Or maybe you should focus on salvaging some other, already sacrificed aspect of "you" instead of focusing on saving your last vestige of big gozongas.
But I think you're spiraling this into the absurd because the thread hasn't progressed exactly as you wished. Come clean.
Holy zombie jesus, your already at the doing it for the kids and they aren't even that old? You have left the city limits of healthy relationship and are now moving solidly into my life is a living hell of which this woman has brought me.
Yeah, but they have three Taco Bells....
I said I wasn't "Doing it for the Kids". There's about a thousand reasons why I love her, and two reasons why I hate her. I'm not leaving her because of the two, when it's within my power to change myself so that those reasons are moot. I was raised with the belief that my own happiness is secondary to that of my family, and I'm going to finally give in and try it out.
Do I sound as whiny on here as it does in my head?
ehh...the whole "when its within my power to change myself" thing kinda sets of some alarm bells in my head...if you have to change yourself because your spouse can't seem to accept who you are, and they aren't willing to make any compromises themselves? it can only end in disaster and bitterness to all involved.
Wow... I'm just going to skip anything Yar says from now on, since nothing I'm saying is actually getting through to him, and there's not enough hours in the day to correct all the mistakes he's made in his posts. Suffice to say, Yar, if you don't know how to argue.... don't.
Disaster and bitterness is what I am trying to avoid here.
Wow... I'm just going to skip anything Yar says from now on, since nothing I'm saying is actually getting through to him, and there's not enough hours in the day to correct all the mistakes he's made in his posts.
Disaster and bitterness is what I am trying to avoid here.
Oh, cool, there's another one:
"I'm not even going to respond to that because I don't have time and it's so wrong."
Keep them coming.
Here, let me suggest one:
"Guys, I'm just expressing my opinion here, just as you all are. Opinions aren't fact."
or
"You are all a bunch of geeks for posting on a stupid message board so I don't care what you think, I'm not a geek like you guys."
How about, "Jeez, you guys are Hitler!"
So, care to explain why you think saving tit porn is better than say, salvaging Stars!?
Wow... I'm just going to skip anything Yar says from now on, since nothing I'm saying is actually getting through to him, and there's not enough hours in the day to correct all the mistakes he's made in his posts. Suffice to say, Yar, if you don't know how to argue.... don't.
Disaster and bitterness is what I am trying to avoid here.
Yar can be abrasive, but he's worth listening to, and is basically right in this thread. There's not a moral bright line here - nothing that either of you are doing would fall under a clear moral wrong.
Right now it sounds like you're looking at your resentment butting up against your wife's insecurities and probably some power issues on top of that. It could end up causing some real problems.
I dunno. I think you're escalating it a bit much, there, Yar.
Anyway, is there anything left to discuss? How about the question of why do men and women tend to approach porn differently?
Maybe that needs a new thread.
It really doesn't though. We know the answer to that. We also know the thread will end up discussing the exploitation of women in porn. I'll agree with this statement and I'll extend to say that I don't think the music industry can get much more sexist and it's astounding how popular it remains but that's because it appeals to the 13 year old male mindset.
I dunno. I think you're escalating it a bit much, there, Yar.
Yeah ok I'll lay off, I know it isn't productive at this point. I have a particularly vicious distaste for insincerity.
[H/A]Find a marriage counselor. But talk about all those other things you've given up for her, don't accentuate the tit porn unless you really have to.[/H/A]
Sorry, it's just that there are some "experienced" forumers here. And some of them (us) can spot tell-tale signs of an insincere poster, who is trying to manipulate the thread in order to gain cred or get the response he wants, instead of just being up-front. Some tell-tale signs:
"Here's a topic that I want to see you guys discuss. On my command, go!" We welcome your contributions, but we aren't your flea circus.
That was just to get the thread going. I was in a hurry, and I never "commanded" you "fleas" to go.
But I think you're spiraling this into the absurd because the thread hasn't progressed exactly as you wished. Come clean.
What absord spiral? I don't care where it progresses, as long as people aren't misconstrueing what I am saying, or making painfully innacurate statements about me.
So, care to explain why you think saving tit porn is better than say, salvaging Stars!?
I don't. I still play Stars!, but it's hard to play it for a full game, because the turns get longer and longer, and I go through weeks at a time where I don't have enough free time in the allocated turn time to get it completed, unless I stay up late, and I enjoy sleep. However, looking at the occaisional picture set takes two minutes at a time, as opposed to 45 minutes at a time, several times a week, for a Stars! game. Likewise, I can't sit and write unless I have a decent chunk of time to devote to it, and likewise for playing bass, and likewise for going to the pub with some friends.
I dunno. I think you're escalating it a bit much, there, Yar.
Anyway, is there anything left to discuss? How about the question of why do men and women tend to approach porn differently?
Maybe that needs a new thread.
It really doesn't though. We know the answer to that. We also know the thread will end up discussing the exploitation of women in porn. I'll agree with this statement and I'll extend to say that I don't think the music industry can get much more sexist and it's astounding how popular it remains but that's because it appeals to the 13 year old male mindset.
But the scary thing about the music industry is how much of 50 cent's disrespecting lyrics were sold to teenage girls. In fact, teenage girls are a large part of why he went 384573487 platinum or whatever.
In porn, that same weirdness cannot be said to exist. It's basically just men buying it.
edit: i mean i basically answered my own question cause they're teenagers, and have no self esteem, and want to fit in, etc
I dunno. I think you're escalating it a bit much, there, Yar.
Anyway, is there anything left to discuss? How about the question of why do men and women tend to approach porn differently?
Maybe that needs a new thread.
It really doesn't though. We know the answer to that. We also know the thread will end up discussing the exploitation of women in porn. I'll agree with this statement and I'll extend to say that I don't think the music industry can get much more sexist and it's astounding how popular it remains but that's because it appeals to the 13 year old male mindset.
But the scary thing about the music industry is how much of 50 cent's disrespecting lyrics were sold to teenage girls. In fact, teenage girls are a large part of why he went 384573487 platinum or whatever.
In porn, that same weirdness cannot be said to exist. It's basically just men buying it.
While that's true, by the same token I think the consumers of porn who actually buy it are either already fucked up or people who can actually differentiate fantasy and reality i.e. functional adults.
The music industry is a little more pervasive, and I've just been noticing the amount of overt sexism has been bothering me more and more.
electricitylikesme on
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Podlyyou unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered Userregular
edited January 2007
Anyone who wants to look into the porn star/porn fan mindset and interaction should read David Foster Wallace's essay from Consider the Lobster.
I don't. I still play Stars!, but it's hard to play it for a full game, because the turns get longer and longer, and I go through weeks at a time where I don't have enough free time in the allocated turn time to get it completed, unless I stay up late, and I enjoy sleep. However, looking at the occaisional picture set takes two minutes at a time, as opposed to 45 minutes at a time, several times a week, for a Stars! game. Likewise, I can't sit and write unless I have a decent chunk of time to devote to it, and likewise for playing bass, and likewise for going to the pub with some friends.
As a fellow breadwinning married father, I sympathize. I gave up sleep. I sleep several hours a night less than I used to, specifically because otherwise there isn't time to play games and still be a good husband and dad. I have time at work to maek poast, but I need a few hours at night for Xbox and CoH and Heroes or whatever. So I made that time in hours that used to be sleep, when the rest of the family is already asleep.
I have a particularly vicious distaste for insincerity.
I have the same distaste for active belligerence.
Since we both acknowledge who was being what, I can accept that.
I don't acknowledge one single shred of insincerty on my part anywhere in this thread. You want it to be there so that you have something to bitch about.
As a fellow breadwinning married father, I sympathize. I gave up sleep. I sleep several hours a night less than I used to, specifically because otherwise there isn't time to play games and still be a good husband and dad. I have time at work to maek poast, but I need a few hours at night for Xbox and CoH and Heroes or whatever.
A couple HOURS a night for XBox / CoH / Heroes?? Are you fucking kidding me?! Holy crap... I would kill for the capacity to have "a couple hours a night" to goof off. Jesus.
A couple HOURS a night for XBox / CoH / Heroes?? Are you fucking kidding me?! Holy crap... I would kill for the capacity to have "a couple hours a night" to goof off.
Why don't you?
Maybe the fact that you have no time to yourself like that is where the discussion with her should be, not on tit porn.
Doesn't she get time to herself when the kids are napping? Is she non-stop all day like you? Not likely.
A couple HOURS a night for XBox / CoH / Heroes?? Are you fucking kidding me?! Holy crap... I would kill for the capacity to have "a couple hours a night" to goof off.
Why don't you?
I work until 4:30 or 5. I get home around 5 or 5:30. I clean the kitchen and cook dinner, then eat dinner with my family, until about seven. I hang with my son for a bit, give him his medicine, then brush his teeth with him, read him a story, talk to him while he's in bed for a bit, and come back out around 8. I clean the kitchen again to make up for dinner until about 8:30. I take my daughter (9 months old) so my wife can have a break to check her mail, maybe have a shower. I feed her, and usually get her down to sleep around 9:30 or 10. I watch Robot Chicken for about ten minutes, then go put her in her crib, and usually stay with her for a few so she stays asleep. By now it's 10:30, and I have only watched TV while feeding my daughter, and haven't even looked at a computer. Since I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning, and I have to drug myself to get to sleep in under an hour, I usually go to bed around 10:30, or talk with my wife for a while.
A couple HOURS a night for XBox / CoH / Heroes?? Are you fucking kidding me?! Holy crap... I would kill for the capacity to have "a couple hours a night" to goof off.
Why don't you?
I work until 4:30 or 5. I get home around 5 or 5:30. I clean the kitchen and cook dinner, then eat dinner with my family, until about seven. I hang with my son for a bit, give him his medicine, then brush his teeth with him, read him a story, talk to him while he's in bed for a bit, and come back out around 8. I clean the kitchen again to make up for dinner until about 8:30. I take my daughter (9 months old) so my wife can have a break to check her mail, maybe have a shower. I feed her, and usually get her down to sleep around 9:30 or 10. I watch Robot Chicken for about ten minutes, then go put her in her crib, and usually stay with her for a few so she stays asleep. By now it's 10:30, and I have only watched TV while feeding my daughter, and haven't even looked at a computer. Since I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning, and I have to drug myself to get to sleep in under an hour, I usually go to bed around 10:30, or talk with my wife for a while.
What do you do all day?
EDIT: Son doesn't nap, daughter rarely naps.
Looks like someone is discovering the joys of small children?
Posts
It's Yar. Ignore 99% of his posts.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
Dude.
Counseling.
Now.
From what you've said, your relationship has some serious issues, of which Big Titted Whores From Babylon is just a sampling. If you're feeling like your wife has extracted everything from your life that you enjoy, that's not healthy. It's not healthy of your wife to expect it, and it's not healthy of you to provide it. People need to have their own hobbies and free time, and I say this as someone in a very happy marriage.
Sure you can, but that also was a joke.
Man, I just can't stop posting here, can I? Must be some sort of an addiction. You all want me to stop posting here because it upsets you, but I keep doing it because I enjoy it. The ironing is delicious.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
I sincerely doubt you're upsetting anyone.
If any of us were that upset by your posting, we'd stop reading it and responding. We're a garrulous bunch, we are.
You're not upsetting anyone.
This last post, however, is upsetting to at least me. Stop being a cock.
Was this a joke?
Is this a joke?
Because that's the sociopathic rambozo-style bullshit that prompted me to ask:
As well as the part at the end that you are now claiming was a joke, even though it followed perfectly with the entire post.
You're acting like you've sacrificed something incredible for her. You haven't.
Rambozo Bandetta, Jr.
The bit at the end was supposed to be a little humorous jab at the whole thing, which you missed entirely. Don't take that out on me.
I've sacrificed NEARLY everything for her. This last bit makes it officially everything. I thought it was a bit of a milestone.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
- "Proving once again the deadliest animal of all ... is the Zoo Keeper" - Philip J Fry
You're clearly unhappy about having sacrificed (apparently) literally everything for her. Why do you do it, then?
EDIT: Let's not make this about "Stay Together For The Kids". It should be stated that I love her, and I find her attractive. I would probably have blown my brains out being married to any of the other women who I find physically attractive and mentally repugnant. We do have some issues, but in spite of everything, I do love her, and my kids. This one issue, though, digs at me like a rusty fork stuck in a body cast, and I tend to respond to it with florid posting.
Thanks to all the people who kept a clear head through this thread.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
My advice, pull out like a teenager.
pleasepaypreacher.net
I said I wasn't "Doing it for the Kids". There's about a thousand reasons why I love her, and two reasons why I hate her. I'm not leaving her because of the two, when it's within my power to change myself so that those reasons are moot. I was raised with the belief that my own happiness is secondary to that of my family, and I'm going to finally give in and try it out.
Do I sound as whiny on here as it does in my head?
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
"Here's a topic that I want to see you guys discuss. On my command, go!" We welcome your contributions, but we aren't your flea circus.
"Gosh, that was a joke, you must have no sense of humor..."
referring to a post that maybe had a joke but probably was not at all a joke.
"I'm not posting anymore. I know I said that, but really this time."
Followed up with, "You want me to stop posting, and so I won't."
"You guys all don't like me but I don't care it's not my fault." Otherwise known as the state of Yarness.
And so on.
If tit porn really was the last thing of yourself you had left, the only thing you hadn't sacrificed, if it really was "everything" at this point, then you really do need serious counseling. It may be too late. You should have talked to her about when all those things you were sacrificing for her were something respectable and meaningful. Or maybe you should focus on salvaging some other, already sacrificed aspect of "you" instead of focusing on saving your last vestige of big gozongas.
But I think you're spiraling this into the absurd because the thread hasn't progressed exactly as you wished. Come clean.
Disaster and bitterness is what I am trying to avoid here.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
"I'm not even going to respond to that because I don't have time and it's so wrong."
Keep them coming.
Here, let me suggest one:
"Guys, I'm just expressing my opinion here, just as you all are. Opinions aren't fact."
or
"You are all a bunch of geeks for posting on a stupid message board so I don't care what you think, I'm not a geek like you guys."
How about, "Jeez, you guys are Hitler!"
So, care to explain why you think saving tit porn is better than say, salvaging Stars!?
Anyway, is there anything left to discuss? How about the question of why do men and women tend to approach porn differently?
Maybe that needs a new thread.
Right now it sounds like you're looking at your resentment butting up against your wife's insecurities and probably some power issues on top of that. It could end up causing some real problems.
[H/A]Find a marriage counselor. But talk about all those other things you've given up for her, don't accentuate the tit porn unless you really have to.[/H/A]
That was just to get the thread going. I was in a hurry, and I never "commanded" you "fleas" to go. I was referring to a post that had a humorous line at the end, punctuated with a smiley, intended to be rueful and ironic. I apologize, it was unrealistic of me to expect to be able to stop posting in a thread when people keep getting stuff about me wrong. I never said that. I said "I don't want to", not "so I won't". Huge difference. Never said that, either. What absord spiral? I don't care where it progresses, as long as people aren't misconstrueing what I am saying, or making painfully innacurate statements about me. I'm busy, and I figured you knew all of the mistakes you had made (I assume they were on purpose to goad me into arguing at your level). I am a geek like they are.
I don't. I still play Stars!, but it's hard to play it for a full game, because the turns get longer and longer, and I go through weeks at a time where I don't have enough free time in the allocated turn time to get it completed, unless I stay up late, and I enjoy sleep. However, looking at the occaisional picture set takes two minutes at a time, as opposed to 45 minutes at a time, several times a week, for a Stars! game. Likewise, I can't sit and write unless I have a decent chunk of time to devote to it, and likewise for playing bass, and likewise for going to the pub with some friends. I have the same distaste for active belligerence.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
But the scary thing about the music industry is how much of 50 cent's disrespecting lyrics were sold to teenage girls. In fact, teenage girls are a large part of why he went 384573487 platinum or whatever.
In porn, that same weirdness cannot be said to exist. It's basically just men buying it.
edit: i mean i basically answered my own question cause they're teenagers, and have no self esteem, and want to fit in, etc
The music industry is a little more pervasive, and I've just been noticing the amount of overt sexism has been bothering me more and more.
Since we both acknowledge who was being what, I can accept that.
it get's really interesting around the middle of the essay, though. Guess you'll never know!
Also....
A couple HOURS a night for XBox / CoH / Heroes?? Are you fucking kidding me?! Holy crap... I would kill for the capacity to have "a couple hours a night" to goof off. Jesus.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.
The other part is fine.
I don't even have to time to scratch myself with my old lady
Kids whining
Dinner's not ready
Can't even scratch myself
Maybe the fact that you have no time to yourself like that is where the discussion with her should be, not on tit porn.
Doesn't she get time to herself when the kids are napping? Is she non-stop all day like you? Not likely.
What do you do all day?
EDIT: Son doesn't nap, daughter rarely naps.
Dismayed By Humanity Since 1992.