Good Days, Bad Days

Aaron LeeAaron Lee Registered User
edited February 2007 in Artist's Corner
Hello fellas. This school year I've been doing comics for the school paper, but I'm always looking for ways to improve them. I try to use social commentary for my humor (which I've been told is a bit dry). So, here's a dump of the decent ones so far. Critiques appreciated!

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Aaron Lee on

Posts

  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Hey, man. My birthday is February 13th......and it looks like it will be on a Thursday in 2020! Right-o.

    Your inking looks pretty decent.

    A few, scattered crits:

    ---The "shiny-hair-lines" you have on the blondes could be improved, I think. They seem really slapped on, and frequently don't even seem to follow the sweep of the hair...you've got waves where the lines follow an up-and-down vertical pattern, but the hair of the characters is actually going more diagonally, or in a horizontal pattern.

    ---I thought the "dark side" comment was kind of lame for the computer-lab comic, and I think it would've ended better at the "Myspace" panel. Could just be personal preference, though.

    ---The hands look pretty odd in a lot of places... I noticed it the most in the 1st comic, and in the 2nd-to-last panel of the 2nd-to-last comic, with Ami's mitten.


    Humorous comics for school newspapers can be really hard, for obvious reasons (what's "appropriate" and what's "not")...the humor is a bit dry, but I think you've done a better job than a lot of school-approved comics I've seen, in that aspect. Maybe work on the comedic timing a bit, in places, but overall not bad.

    NightDragon on
  • Grim OutlookGrim Outlook Registered User
    edited January 2007
    when you wrote, "the test is tomorrow!?" did you mean to write "today" instead?

    or maybe i just didn't get the joke

    Grim Outlook on
  • Aaron LeeAaron Lee Registered User
    edited January 2007
    Night: Thanks for the crits. Hands are always an issue, but I try not to shy away from them which can lead to some awkward shots. Always a work in progress I guess :) As for the hair sheen, I always kind of threw it on as a stylistic choice, but I'll work on trying to make it a little more natural looking. I hadn't even thought of it that way.

    Grim: I guess I came from it in the personal experience where proper preparation for a test should be done days in advance. I didn't consider the cram studiers. Using "today" probably would have made more sense. Ah well, that one already hit stands months ago so I guess I can't fix that.

    Aaron Lee on
  • Spectre-xSpectre-x Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Man, I have basically passed all of my tests for the past few years without any preparation in advance, save that which I did the day before.

    Spectre-x on
  • PiousPious Registered User
    edited January 2007
    The MySpace was really funny. I laughed my ass off. On the first one, I still don't know what she said was nifty.

    Pious on
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  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Hey, man. My birthday is February 13th......and it looks like it

    Pfffft!

    Mine is on Feb. 14!

    MagicToaster on
  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Hey, man. My birthday is February 13th......and it looks like it

    Pfffft!

    Mine is on Feb. 14!

    I remember! And you will have to remember mine! And we will wish eachother happy birthday next month and it will be joyous!

    NightDragon on
  • SpilltoySpilltoy Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Pious wrote:
    The MySpace was really funny. I laughed my ass off. On the first one, I still don't know what she said was nifty.

    I assume that guy is drawing something.

    Spilltoy on
    I really don't.
  • Aaron LeeAaron Lee Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Spilltoy wrote:
    Pious wrote:
    The MySpace was really funny. I laughed my ass off. On the first one, I still don't know what she said was nifty.

    I assume that guy is drawing something.

    Yeah, he's drawing, and really it's just her lame attempt to start conversation.

    Aaron Lee on
  • ksblairksblair Registered User
    edited February 2007
    I liked them despite the small issues discussed by some of the others. With a little more work on your writing I think it would be a great comic. The writing isnt bad, but on occasion it misses.

    ksblair on
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Hey, man. My birthday is February 13th......and it looks like it

    Pfffft!

    Mine is on Feb. 14!

    I remember! And you will have to remember mine! And we will wish eachother happy birthday next month and it will be joyous!

    I'll draw something cool.

    MagicToaster on
  • KioliaKiolia Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Overall, nice work. More please!

    Kiolia on
    and stuff

    visit my webcomic at http://www.kiolia.com/shadowfolk Science fiction, updated almost never.
  • GafotoGafoto Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Nice artwork but I want to beat the characters with a shovel.

    Gafoto on
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  • josephlahjosephlah Registered User
    edited February 2007
    I think the drawings look simple and good.
    Nice work.

    josephlah on
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  • TalonrazorTalonrazor Registered User regular
    edited February 2007
    Man we never get comics like these in my campus newsletter. We've got four shitty student comics and the awesome PBF that's always super old.

    Talonrazor on
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  • Aaron LeeAaron Lee Registered User
    edited February 2007
    Lot's of responses since I last looked. Thanks for the compliments everyone!

    Gafoto: In a sense, I'm sort of in agreement. Obviously the characters are just serving as a shallow pedestal to voice certain social things. Seeing that it only releases about once a month, it's hard to develop depth to the characters, and in many regards I doubt people on campus care enough to desire depth from the characters. That frustrates me at times, but I have to consider this isn't the ideal point for me to tell a nice story.

    You guys have given me things to consider, and I'm grateful for the feedback. I know it's easier to stay in my comfy little world and assume everything I'm doing is great, but I'd rather poke my head out and see what I'm doing wrong.

    Aaron Lee on
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