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EVE Online: Space Faggotry

George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like ClockworkRegistered User regular
edited December 2008 in Social Entropy++
eve_online_25.jpg

EVE online is a game where you fly internet spaceships in internet space.
It's massive as fuck and there's a bajillion star systems to visit and you're never going to ever see all of them so don't even try.
In EVE, skill training doesn't take grinding, it doesn't really take any effort at all! You just tell it to train a skill, and you're done! You might have to wait a few hours or maybe a day or two sometimes weeks or months oh god this is taking forever why does this skill have to take three months I hate myself so much.
Some guy did the math, and it would take over 28 years to learn every skill in EVE. This is longer than a lot of you have been alive!

Things you can do in EVE:
Mining!
180px-Coal_mine_Wyoming.jpg
EVE is the only game where mining is actually fun

Trading!
350px-GEM_Monopoly_box.jpg
You can have a monopoly on a system, where you own basically every single type of one item, and no one can do anything about it and you can charge whatever you want and be rich as fuck!

Fighting! Yeah sure you can kill the NPCs in asteroid belts but why would you do that when you can do something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BbYvI2ELXM

That ship cost billions of ISK and probably took over a year to make! I bet that guy committed suicide!

EVE is very economically based. That's why player groups are called Corporations!
Did I mention I have a corporation?
We only have like 4 people in it right now but we have it set up so that once we get more people it'll be extremely organized. DETAILS:
Hopeful Horizon's headquarters are located at Haatomo III Moon 1, Propel Dynamics Factory in The Citadel Region.

This post will be changed to reflect current job openings in the Hopeful Horizon Corporation.



As of right now, we only have four members, and we need more for the following positions:

-Mining: Multiple positions
We always need miners, only requirement is a mining level of 3 or higher, cargo hold size doesn't matter. Must be willing to mine any ore requested. Ore will be delivered directly to the corporation, no need for refining. Miners are paid on a percentage basis, depending on how long they've been in the corporation.
Starting rate is 8% of ore profits.

-Delivery: 1 position
We're looking for someone that would be able to run deliveries/pickups for the corporation, must be comfortable going through low-security areas. Must currently have a ship with at least 2000 m^3 cargo space.
Deliveries/pickups are paid on a by-jump salary, with a bonus for Low-Sec jumps, runner's pay also dependent on size of load.

Any others that wish to apply are free to do so, all are subject to a short interview process.

-Microphone is preferred, but not required.
-If a member loses a ship on the job, we'll be willing to replace/help pay for the ship and all fittings, depending on cost.
-We will provide for any job-related purchases as long as you work for the corporation in a productive manner.
-Must be able to show a decent level of maturity
-There is a minimum of 700,000 Skill Points required, applicants with lower than this will not be rejected, but must be able to prove themselves skill-wise.

These are the ships that are in EVE, See those tiny little dots on there? You'll be flying those for the first couple months:
Linked for HUGE



Current list of people that are playing and I'll probably be the only one on it because you all hate good things:
Worthless Lurker - Dakk Windoff

George Fornby Grill on
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Posts

  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    you are very bad at linking images and EVE is fun for awhile

    i got to play a carrier pilot and made like 150 dollars off it because weaver is a rad fellow

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Goddamn thought I fixed those.

    George Fornby Grill on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Wow you are not in MERCH?

    Get the fuck in MERCH so you can pew pew some BOB and AAA

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Wow

    Your op doesn't so much make this sound like a game as it does a risky business venture

    Fandyien on
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  • matthias00matthias00 Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Yeah your best bet is to consolidate with MERCH, aren't those the dudes that are involved in the gigantic interstellar war or whatever

    matthias00 on
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I wanna get back in EVE, that was fun shit for a while. Anyone here in a good corp?

    Lockout on
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  • SnowbeatSnowbeat i need something to kick this thing's ass over the lineRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Wow

    Your op doesn't so much make this sound like a game as it does a risky business venture
    it essentially is

    Snowbeat on
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  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Snowbeat wrote: »
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Wow

    Your op doesn't so much make this sound like a game as it does a risky business venture
    it essentially is

    OP needs a link to the guy who swindled hundreds of billions of fake game monies from dozens of players.

    Indie Winter on
    RCmKIvs.gif
    3034-4093-8537 on Switch
  • NikolaiNikolai SSSSSSSSSSS Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I never had fun in EVE.

    Nikolai on
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  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    matthias00 wrote: »
    Yeah your best bet is to consolidate with MERCH, aren't those the dudes that are involved in the gigantic interstellar war or whatever

    MERCH is with Goonfleet

    Goonfleet currently is back in the fight against Band of Brothers and the ex-allies Against All Authorities.

    You know what I'm just gonna copy the new goonfleet OP

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • JaninJanin Registered User
    edited December 2008
    EVE is the only game where mining is actually fun

    mining isn't fun

    it took 2 months to make, he didn't commit suicide (but he did go on to lose two more :psyduck:)
    EVE is very economically based. That's why player groups are called Corporations!
    Did I mention I have a corporation?
    We only have like 4 people in it right now but we have it set up so that once we get more people it'll be extremely organized. DETAILS:
    Hopeful Horizon's headquarters are located at Haatomo III Moon 1, Propel Dynamics Factory in The Citadel Region.

    oh look it's a worthless empire-based pubby mining corp. do you have any hulks I can come blow up?
    Lockout wrote: »
    I wanna get back in EVE, that was fun shit for a while. Anyone here in a good corp?

    join Merch Industrial, we roll with the guys from Ars Technica and Something Awful

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • 101101 Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I downloaded the EVE demo once.

    Cunfused the fuck outta me.

    Too Many Buttons D:

    101 on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    this game is boring as hell.

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • Fire TruckFire Truck I love my SELFRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Janin wrote: »
    EVE is the only game where mining is actually fun

    mining isn't fun

    it took 2 months to make, he didn't commit suicide (but he did go on to lose two more :psyduck:)
    EVE is very economically based. That's why player groups are called Corporations!
    Did I mention I have a corporation?
    We only have like 4 people in it right now but we have it set up so that once we get more people it'll be extremely organized. DETAILS:
    Hopeful Horizon's headquarters are located at Haatomo III Moon 1, Propel Dynamics Factory in The Citadel Region.

    oh look it's a worthless empire-based pubby mining corp. do you have any hulks I can come blow up?
    Lockout wrote: »
    I wanna get back in EVE, that was fun shit for a while. Anyone here in a good corp?

    join Merch Industrial, we roll with the guys from Ars Technica and Something Awful

    man, who pissed in your cheerios?

    Fire Truck on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Worthless Lurker

    more like Worthless Corp

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    That ship cost billions of ISK and probably took over a year to make! I bet that guy committed suicide!f

    He didn't

    Infact he has flown and lost at least 3 more Titans

    Shrike is a douche

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • JaninJanin Registered User
    edited December 2008
    here have some :shobon:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vfv1QtZDirY&fmt=18
    this game is boring as hell.

    Were you ever in merchi or just wasting time in empire? Eve in empire is possibly the worst mmo ever created outside of korea, eve with goonswarm is the best.

    Newbees, if you join goonswarm you should join rho squad (rho squad best squad)

    Also, have some screenshots. Each of those little white dots is a large ship (or a wreck, heh)
    6297492c7f01b6066.jpg

    closer:
    9364492ca89983417.jpg

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Sara LynnSara Lynn Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    EVE posts are so deceptive

    this game is about 1/7 as cool as it looks

    Sara Lynn on
  • JaninJanin Registered User
    edited December 2008
    Veretas wrote: »
    Worthless Lurker

    more like Worthless Corp

    Not entirely worthless, maybe we can wardec it.

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Don't listen to Janin rho squad is the worst squad

    Delta squad is the classiest

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    i spent a month and a half with goonfleet, but it never got interesting so i stopped playing

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    LOOK AT DELTA SQUAD BEES

    delta96.png

    so classy

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • JaninJanin Registered User
    edited December 2008
    Veretas wrote: »
    Don't listen to Janin rho squad is the worst squad

    Delta squad is the classiest

    for some reason I've always assumed you were in rho

    maybe it's the "Kentaku Fried Chikan!!~~"

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Nah, I'm more classy.

    Also for some fucking reason I can't get into the wiki. But I can log into the forums

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • SanguiniusSanguinius Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Man, so true.

    It's boring as all hell.

    Sanguinius on
  • DefenestratorDefenestrator Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    When I was in tech school, I had a roommate who played this all the time. My girlfriend and I would drive to San Antonio on long weekends and he'd be sitting in front of his computer in his underwear when we left. We'd come back two or three days later and he'd be in the exact same spot, in the same underwear but now there's three pizza boxes sitting next to him.

    I always see these threads and I'm like, "damn that game looks cool." and then I try it and I realize that it doesn't do it for me at all. The screenshots have this weird power to make you completely forget how dumb this game is.

    Defenestrator on
  • JaninJanin Registered User
    edited December 2008
    Veretas wrote: »
    Nah, I'm more classy.

    Also for some fucking reason I can't get into the wiki. But I can log into the forums

    Can you see the public pages? Solo did something weird to the wiki, you have to have viewed the forums recently to access any protected wiki pages.

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    the UI is shit, too.

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    HEY FAGGOTS

    cancer.jpg

    Internet Drama, Spaceships, and Prankapples

    A labor of love, EVE Online is a uniquely rewarding MMO that has captivated players since 2003. This game features intricate spaceship combat, vast quantities of players sharing a single un-sharded server, and the most rapturously complex economy of any MMO. The scope of this game is more ambitious than other games. EVE features alliances consisting of thousands of players waging war against each other in a sand box universe. None of that matters too much to us, because the average Goonfleet member's experience is nothing like what most EVE players experience.

    Though initially EVE was dominated by self-satisfied euronerds, in late 2005 Something Awful injected itself into the game, changing -some might say ruining- it forever. Since then, we have infuriated tens of thousands of players in a never ending disasterpiece of drama, betrayal, and social faux pas. We have squeezed endless rivers of suffering from the ever-griefable teat of EVE Online's stupid, stupid player base.

    A Different Sort of Game

    EVE has a number of exceptional features. As mentioned, it is un-sharded, with every player existing on the same server. Other features include a class-less advancement system, experience points accumulating whether you are logged in or not, and the option of paying for your subscription with in-game currency. Many financially savvy players stop paying real money after their first few months in the game.

    ens0ef.jpg

    A Big, Big Universe

    EVE Online is huge. There are between ten and thirty thousand players logged in at any time. Fleet battles involve hundreds or even thousands of people shooting it out with lasers, missiles, and possibly some semblance of strategy. Goonfleet actually holds the Guinness Book of World Records title for "Largest Player Corporation," topping out at three thousand members. Another taste of EVE's size: titan-class ships require months to construct and the materials used are valued in the thousands of dollars. And we get to blow them up. While calling them names.

    The EVE universe consists of hundreds of solar systems interlinked by stargates, from the idiot-infested regions of Empire to the dark, sparse endgame areas of pirate space. EVE's end-game content is entirely player driven, making it more compelling than anything an in-house game designer would ever dare to write. New players can participate and make a difference in the same end-game battles as Goonfleet veterans. The metagame is equally vast, with thousands of players competing against each other using every tool at their disposal, crossing lines of morality and sometimes legality.

    A Harsh Universe Filled With Cock-Waving PvPers

    EVE is an unforgiving game. The cruel nature of PvP in EVE is similar to the old school MMOs from the late nineties. When a ship is destroyed in EVE it is gone forever and, although you can insure the hull to recoup a small portion of your loss, most of your expenses will not be covered. For the idiots that we fight, these ships sometimes represent months of effort, destroyed in a matter of seconds. When you blow up someone's shit in EVE it causes tears, wailing, and gnashing of teeth unlike any other game. And because theft, scamming, and outright lying to people are permitted -even encouraged- in EVE, this is the premier griefer game. This is a game that has player-run IPOs making the Wall Street Journal one week, and completely ruined by goons the next --I would link the article but it requires an account. Dozens of goons make their living in EVE solely by tricking gullible idiots into divesting themselves of assets that can sometimes be worth thousands of dollars in real life money.

    Nobody Punks Goonfleet
    At the top of Goonfleet is our CEO, currently one Darius JOHNSON. Below him are the directors, each of whom are assigned a specific, boring job. Our general members are divided into squads that allow us to better serve our newbies, as well as breaking up our vast numbers into smaller, more sociable groups. We also chill with a number of smaller, semi-cool, auxiliary corporations that we have met during our time in EVE.

    propaganda03gk5.jpg

    Our Terrible Forum Culture

    Initially a libertarianesque D&D shitposter's wet dream, then Warhammer 40k Kitsch, Goonfleet is most recently something of a cross between terrorist literature and YCS. Our web site is well-populated, enjoying its own cute little corner of SA-style internet real estate. Many people enjoy it because it is a petite version of SA, and because our enthusiastic members produce cute nonsense like this little bees video. Also of likely interest to newbies is this video of a nerd explaining Goonfleet to some other nerds. Another illustrative example of our corporate culture is this agitprop video from one of our invasions.

    What Are We Doing Now?

    Though initially dismissed and despised by EVE's upper crust of super nerds, we have made allies of various non-English-speaking organizations to help us blaze a path of glory across EVE's tender nether regions.

    For over a year, Goonfleet was engaged in a merciless war against the Band of Brothers, a despicable poop-socking power bloc composed of the most ulcerous "hardcore" players in EVE. If you have played any other MMO, you know what sort of people I am talking about. These internet dandies have said of Goonfleet, "the goon dream is over," "we control your game," and "there are no goons." When our war against this olympic team of effeminacy stalled out, each side returned to our respective corners of the galaxy to lick our wounds --until now.

    Hostilities have recommenced with the Band of Brothers. They are joined by our dolchstossing former allies, Against All Authorities. The battles have been epic in scope, generally successful, and our enemies come to us. There has never been a better time to try EVE Online.

    For EVE Veterans Considering Returning

    Lag problems in oversized battles have been fixed and are no longer a deal-breaker. Warp to zero and player-run jump bridges make travel a breeze. We've sold entire regions of our space and reachieved a critical mass of goons in a manner similar to our time spent in Syndicate. BoB is coming to us instead of the other way around, and yet I haven't seen a titan in months. Titans have been substantially un-fucked, and are being murdered on a regular basis. Did I mention that fleet fights are no longer laggy? Maybe I had better type that fleet fights are no longer laggy a few more times. Oh, one thing: Solo says that if you haven't been to the forums in over ninety days, you will need to make a new forum account. No biggie.

    newb.jpg

    Muggins on
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    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • Mr. Henry BemisMr. Henry Bemis Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    goonfleet is a pretty fucking awesome thing

    i imagine i would have had ten times more fun if i was actually playing with them as opposed to MRCHI where if a hostile ship showed up in the system everyone was like "you should hide" and i'm like :/

    Mr. Henry Bemis on
    Nothing is true; Everything is permitted
  • JaninJanin Registered User
    edited December 2008
    goonfleet is a pretty fucking awesome thing

    i imagine i would have had ten times more fun if i was actually playing with them as opposed to MRCHI where if a hostile ship showed up in the system everyone was like "you should hide" and i'm like :/

    Guessing you're in a euro timezone? Our poor euro players are getting sorta screwed. If you're in an American timezone, there's no reason to hide; grab a frigate and x up.

    Janin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I imagine thousands of those tiny ships flying in circles towards a huge Titan a la Starcraft 00:54 in this movie

    seriously, how can this game sound so awesome but play so meh

    not bad, just meh

    maybe I need to give this another look

    Indie Winter on
    RCmKIvs.gif
    3034-4093-8537 on Switch
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I remember having so so so much fun in this game with Bemis and Marshmellow

    When we found that ship flying to nowhere, when they both got killed and I managed to recollect all their shit

    Those goddamn pirates who got our bead towards the end, and enemy corps starting to camp our shit

    haha, like we were important or something

    Also bemis getting all his cruisers popped

    The Black Hunter on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    CCP recently revamped the node system so now ships can move easily in a really populated system.

    Weapons are a little slower but the ship is completely responsive

    Muggins on
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    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • NikolaiNikolai SSSSSSSSSSS Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    goonfleet is a pretty fucking awesome thing

    i imagine i would have had ten times more fun if i was actually playing with them as opposed to MRCHI where if a hostile ship showed up in the system everyone was like "you should hide" and i'm like :/
    Hey bemis remember that time me you and metzger attacked that big ass ship and we were all blown up. He was all like "blerg blerg blerg Merchi blerg"

    Nikolai on
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  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    That last Goon poster/image is awesome. Not gonna lie.

    DrZiplock on
    "zip, i dunno what it is about you, but there's something very cat-like about your face. i can't really place it. you'd make a good mountain lion." Hail, Satan!
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    hey, anyone has a link to that huge map that shows how the EVE universe is divided according to corporations?

    Indie Winter on
    RCmKIvs.gif
    3034-4093-8537 on Switch
  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    George Fornby Grill on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Veretas wrote: »
    newb.jpg

    Reminds me of my beloved rocket kestrel

    Close orbiting with supercharger, afterburner, with rockets instead of missiles.

    I remember that ship like no other thing in any game I have played

    I remember trying to be killed in it aswell, but no-one would fight me. Like 5 people rocked up to see my challenge but I eventually left after an hour of trying to convince some dudes to kill me
    eventually some kind girl in a battleship took me on and I did a bit of noticeable damage before she sent me off. I thanked her and left

    The Black Hunter on
  • Fire TruckFire Truck I love my SELFRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    So I've heard this game is not grind-heavy like other MMO's?

    How true is this. If I could only invest an hour or two every day or two, would I be useless and fucked?

    Fire Truck on
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