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Dumb Emails From Parents

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Posts

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    Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    it all makes sense now

    Jesus is one of the space lizardmen!

    Clint Eastwood on
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    DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited December 2008
    jesus was built in a factory anyways

    Unknown User on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    that made me laugh, Fandy.

    I don't know why.


    Pooro and Cynic, send me pics so I can be gay like Fiz.

    NotASenator on
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    Cosmic SombreroCosmic Sombrero Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    my dad had a fucking blog

    it's still up too, even though he stopped updating it

    Cosmic Sombrero on
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    Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Goatmon, you seriously have the dumbest dad. I would be embarrassed if I was his child.

    Captain Cthulhu on
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    Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Goatmon, you seriously have the dumbest dad. I would be embarrassed if I was his child.
    goatmon embarrasses himself just fine

    Clint Eastwood on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    my grandparents were in town and checking their email on my computer when they read one off that mirrored teddy roosevelt's political experience to sara palin's.

    Why my grandparents think palin is so great is fucking beyond me.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Goatmon, you seriously have the dumbest dad. I would be embarrassed if I was his child.
    goatmon embarrasses himself just fine

    You guys wanna see his fursona?

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
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    DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2008
    nooooooooooo

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
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    MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Is it a goat?

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
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    Sara LynnSara Lynn I can handle myself. Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    goat man

    Sara Lynn on
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    FizFiz Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    You would think so

    Tube should change his name so it matches his fursona

    Fiz on
    juggcat.jpg
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    SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Sara Lynn wrote: »
    goat man

    He's a Jamaican goat man.

    Silmaril on
    t9migZb.jpg
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    MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    guys, The Brave One is a really good fucking movie

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    It is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December. For one, the shepherds would not have had their sheep out to flock. The Israeli winters are too cold.

    so you're saying Jesus wasn't coincidentally born on the day of the winter solstice?

    blasphemy!

    Centipede Damascus on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    nooooooooooo
    boo to that!

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    It is very unlikely that Jesus was born in December. For one, the shepherds would not have had their sheep out to flock. The Israeli winters are too cold.

    so you're saying Jesus wasn't coincidentally born on the day of the winter solstice?

    blasphemy!

    Before it was celebrated as the birthday of Christ, it was celebrated as the birthday of Mithras, who, coincidentally, was also called the son of god and the "light of the world." Unlike Christ, however, Mithras wasn't born from a woman, he bust straight out of a boulder as a full grown adult, with rippling biceps and a jaw that could cut glass. After performing a series of miraculous events, Mithras ascended into heaven.

    Captain Cthulhu on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    did mithras have an erection when he was birthed, thus coining, "between a rock and a hard place"?

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Yes. I didn't think I needed to bother explaining that part.

    Captain Cthulhu on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I just like to be as precise as possible. You never know what might get contributed to the wrong origins anymore.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    it's well documented that jesus never got a boner in his life and was a total dork with the ladies

    Raneados on
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    Voodoo861Voodoo861 Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    lies jesus hung out with whores

    Voodoo861 on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    Captain CthulhuCaptain Cthulhu Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
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    MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Subject: Fwd: Real Virus
    Forwarding this:

    HUGE VIRUS COMING
    > _http://www.snopes. <http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp_&gt;
    com/computer/virus/postcard.asp_
    > (http://www.snopes. <http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/postcard.asp&gt;
    com/computer/virus/postcard.asp)
    >
    > Hi All, checked with Norton Anti-Virus, and they are gearing up for this
    > virus. I checked Snopes (URL above:), and it is for real.
    > Get this E-mail message sent around to your contacts ASAP.
    > PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS!
    >
    > You should be alert during the next few days. Do not open any message with

    > an attachment entitled 'POSTCARD FROM HALLMARK,' regardless of who sent it

    > to you. It is a virus which opens A POSTCARD IMAGE, which 'burns' the
    whole
    > hard disc C of your computer. This virus will be received from someone who
    has
    > your e-mail address in his/her contact list. This is the reason why you
    need
    > to let all your contacts know about this. &n bsp;It is better to receive
    > this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.
    >
    > If you receive a mail called' POSTCARD,' even though sent to you by a
    > friend, do not open it! Shut down your computer immediately.
    >
    > This is the worst virus announced by CNN. It has been classified by
    > Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by
    McAfee
    > yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus
    > simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital
    information is
    > kept.
    >

    /facepalm

    There is a link, in this e-mail, to a Snopes article which debunks this whole fucking thing.

    MrMonroe on
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    edited December 2008
    My parents are pretty good about not sending me stupid crap. Other people I know however ought to have their computing licenses revoked

    I got an email the other day that had three copies of the same stupid 'inspirational' email in-line and one more as an attachment.

    I have gone to a 'no strikes' system. The first time somebody sends me something stupid like that, I make a filter in gmail that moves their stuff directly to the garbage. I figure if they really want to get in touch with me they can find my phone number.

    Richard M. Nixon on
    chevy.jpgsteve.jpgmartin.jpg
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    GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The Geek wrote: »
    Fiz wrote: »
    I'd gladly trade Goatmon and Lucky Cynic to get Talon back

    Talon's a good kid. He also enjoys sleeping in closets.

    He still lurks, it seems. He hasn't posted anything since last month, though.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    his girl's around though

    Raneados on
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    jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The only holiday this season is Christmas eh? No other holidays at all around this time of year, eh?

    Not even say, New Years?

    jwalk on
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    MeeOkMeeOk Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My parents are freaking awful about sending me stupid forwards. At least they know of the existence of snopes, and don't send me dumb conspiracy things, and the like. They are crazy religious nuts though.. almost all of my family is Christian Scientists. And I got yelled at a ridiculous amount when I told them I didn't believe in their religion, at age 8. So I ate my words, until I moved out. They're still sending me religious articles, four years later. And they think that needle marks on my arm from having blood drawn, and an iv stuck in my vein are because I'm doing drugs. *face palm*

    MeeOk on
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    CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My dad sent me a photo of a moose trying to have sex with a large statue of a moose.

    The caption read "Is this a monumental error, or statutory rape?"

    CrossBuster on
    penguins.png
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    SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    My dad sent me a photo of a moose trying to have sex with a large statue of a moose.

    The caption read "Is this a monumental error, or statutory rape?"
    :lol:

    SirToasty on
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    superdeluxe is so awesome

    PiptheFair on
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    like a celestial ejaculate

    PiptheFair on
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    devicesdevices Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I think I must have gotten every Obama paranoia email that was in circulation from my parents, and I generally get most of the "time for jesus" and all the "christian faith is under attack" emails. I do get some gems now and again, though.

    here's one:
    Subject: And then the fight started.....





    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
    Social Security.
    The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify
    my age.
    I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
    I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
    come back later.
    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
    So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
    silver hair on
    your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
    application.
    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
    Social Security office.
    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
    disability, too!


    .....and then the fight started.....


    *************************************************************************

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
    and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
    alone at a nearby table.
    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
    Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
    drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
    hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
    celebrating that long?'
    ......and then the fight started.

    *************************************************************************


    I rear-ended a car this morning.
    So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got
    out of his car.
    You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
    just seem funny?
    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
    HAPPY!!!'

    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

    ....and then the fight started.



    ********************************************************************************************************************

    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not
    happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I
    look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's darn near perfect.'

    ...and then the fight started.

    devices on
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    The only political email I've gotten from my mom was a few months back, it was an email that was all "TESTIMONIAL FROM AN ALASKAN CITIZEN AS TO WHY SARAH PALIN IS TERRIBLE"

    Moriveth on
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    devicesdevices Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    The only political email I've gotten from my mom was a few months back, it was an email that was all "TESTIMONIAL FROM AN ALASKAN CITIZEN AS TO WHY SARAH PALIN IS TERRIBLE"

    hahaha, nice

    i think my favorite anti-obama email was this one:
    If you are a Christian, this is hard to ignore.
    According to the book of Revelation, the anti-Christ: will be a man in his 40s,
    of MUSLIM descent, who will come out of nowhere, deceive the nations with
    persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal..... the prophesy
    says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world
    peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything. Is it OBAMA?

    I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT AND SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS WHO HAVE
    THE PRIVILEGE TO VOTE. THE BOOK OF REVELATION SAYS THAT THE BEAST WILL BE
    ALLOWED TO HAVE AUTHORITY APPROX 42 months (in ch.13) That’s almost a 4 year
    presidency term.

    Lord have mercy on us!

    edit: the kenyan connection one was pretty entertaining too

    devices on
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    Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Lord have mercy, a secret Muslin terrorist as president?

    I do believe I'm coming down with the vapors

    Clint Eastwood on
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    devicesdevices Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    LAWDY LAWD

    devices on
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    CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    That's funny since Islam didn't even exist when the Book of Revelations was written.

    CrossBuster on
    penguins.png
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    devicesdevices Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    That's funny since Islam didn't even exist when the Book of Revelations was written.

    oh yeah... i actually chided my parents, cuz they're actually pretty well versed in scripture, but i guess when you are so willing to believe something, you just accept it as truth and dont check the facts.

    edit: whoa, that statement ran deeper than i originally intended it to

    devices on
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