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Lone Idiots That Make The Rest Of Us Look Bad

13468912

Posts

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Candlemass wrote: »
    Rolo wrote: »
    Projeck wrote: »
    Rolo wrote: »
    Projeck wrote: »
    have i shown you my WEIGHTED COMPANION CUBE

    wait who is the dude here who has the ocarina?

    z-zelda?

    no, someone on the forums went out and bought one

    I think it was Lucky Cynic

    Wasn't it Goatmon?

    close enough

    Brolo on
  • MorkathMorkath Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2008
    Rolo wrote: »
    Morkath wrote: »
    lttp but; Holy crap, the kid killed his mom, tried to kill his dad, and then tried to convince his sister that his dad did a murder/suicide. All over a video game. And the family wants him back? Wtf?

    He's all murdered out now.

    Until the sequel!

    Both figuratively, and literally!

    Morkath on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Today, Eric Delko gets to meet a whole new breed of criminal up close and personal during a visit to his bank. Money problems are the least of his concerns when three masked gunmen burst through the entrance, shooting out the security cameras with Tec-9 automatic handguns, yelling for people to get down. A security guard is wounded. A female teller's drawer is robbed of $18,000. The bank manager is taken hostage. Delko, outgunned and outflanked, notices one of the gunmen is wearing Heelys, shoes with embedded wheels in the soles that enable the wearer to skate. One of the gunmen, Demon, sees a beautiful teenage girl cowering on the floor near Delko and calls out to a partner named Scream, "Bonus round! Tap that stuff." Delko can't believe one of them is actually going to attempt a rape during a robbery. He identifies himself as MDPD and draws his weapon. Demon yells, "Cop! Take him out!" Scream fires wildly, mortally wounding a teller before Delko drops him with a round to the chest. Heelys and Demon use the bank manager as a human shield to make their escape.

    Police and CSI arrive a short time later. Alexx takes the mask off the dead gunman, surprised to see it's a nineteen-year-old kid. A numerical "clicker" is found in his pocket. Horatio interviews Monica, the bank teller. She believes the robbers were more smash-and-grab types than pros. She took a gamble placing a dye pack in the bank bag beneath the cash. Since the bank's security cameras were shot out, Delko will see what the ATM surveillance cameras have to offer. Meanwhile, Ryan Wolfe arrives, tailed by relentless reporter Erica Sikes. She wants to have a chat but he blows her off. He's not about to be misconstrued as her source again.

    Back at CSI, Delko, Ryan and Dan Cooper huddle in the A.V. Lab and review the ATM video feed. Dan syncs up the two camera angles, utilizing a split screen. The gunmen's vehicle can be seen cruising through the bank parking lot. As soon as they see Eric's CSI Hummer, they brake, back up, park and enter the bank. Strange… why execute a bank robbery when you know a cop's inside? Advancing the footage, they see the bank manager being hustled out to the getaway car. Enhancement of a decal on the car reveals a parking permit for lot 23A at the University of Miami. When Ryan calls it in, he gets word that the bank's dye pack exploded on a female student in a dorm laundry room.

    Kim Mills is brought in, and half her body is splattered with crimson paint. Calleigh interviews her and the girl states that she was sneaking in to the Y Dorm because they have better laundry machines. She found the bag in the basement there and opened it. Next thing she knew she was covered in paint. Calleigh is dubious, and expresses her suspicions to Detective Tripp. Dye packs are set to explode ten seconds after passing the bank's door sensors. Tripp is also a bit bewildered. What kind of guys rob a bank then toss the money out? Calleigh wants to hold Kim until her story checks out. Special Agent Peter Elliott has been called in from the U.S. Treasury. The moneybag is sent to Trace for Ryan to examine. The dye pack has obliterated any usable evidence inside the bag, but on the outside there's a white powdery residue, possibly a watermark. Horatio informs Ryan that he got a call from Erica Sikes--and it wasn't to get a quote. She's gotten wind of something involving CSI and Ryan gets the feeling that his boss is on guard with the media. After he leaves, Ryan takes a sample of the powdery residue. The MICROSPECTROPHOTOMETER shows it to be forty percent ETHYLENE GLYCOL solution, a coolant mixed with water. There's only one place on the University of Miami campus that would keep water circulating in sub-freezing temperatures--the hockey rink.

    Delko and Ryan get the rink manager (played by former NHL defenseman Marty McSorley) to open up the storage room where they find Mr. Welch, the bank manager, bound and gagged. He states that the two robber-abductors never took their masks off, and threatened to kill him if he didn't reveal when and where the Federal Reserve money drop would be made. It's going down on the rooftop of the main bank branch in twenty minutes--by helicopter. Delko calls Horatio and they arrive at the helicopter landing pad in time to thwart another robbery and possible homicide. Only one robber is involved in this attempted heist, the one wearing the Heelys. They take his mask off. He's another 19-year-old student. "Better watch your grill, Johnny Law. We're still in play," he snorts arrogantly. Ryan reacts. He knows what this kid is saying. In the back of his CSI Hummer he pulls out a wireless game controller and sorts through his discs until he comes to the game titled "Urban Hellraisers." On the Hummer's A.V. screen, the CSIs watch a sequence of this offensive action game. In one scenario, a bank robbery similar to the one that actually went down shows that the shooting of a security guard is worth 500 points, and the killing of a bank teller is worth 1,000 points. Even when one of the player/robbers is killed, a deadpan voice declares, "You're still in play." Horatio realizes this robbery gang is recreating the video game, playing it for real. It's become an addiction, and CSI had better perform an intervention before someone else gets killed. In CSI Reception, Calleigh reunites with Treasury Agent Peter Elliott. There's a mutual attraction in play here, and he doesn't hide his. He'll handle the extended interview of student Kim Mills. Meanwhile, Horatio and Tripp interrogate Gabe Hammond, aka Heelys. He also has a point clicker on him. His shoe-wheels are a match to the skid marks lifted off the bank floor. In the game, 1000 extra points are awarded if you follow a cop into a bank--which is why they followed Officer Delko. Gabe quips: "5,000 if you waste him." He won't dime out the ringleader because that will cost him 500 points. He's so into the game he's willing to do the prison time rather than cooperate. For Detectives Caine and Tripp, the next move is to talk to the person who wrote the game. That's Chris Allen, a hip entrepreneur. "Urban Hellraisers" is his company's top seller. He refuses to give the detectives a breakdown of the game. It's proprietary and he's safeguarding his stockholders. If the MDPD wants to know what's in the game, they'll have to play the game. Horatio has Chad arrested for obstruction of justice, then instructs Ryan to play the game. They need to know what the next move is for this gang of robber-addicts.

    It's not long before Ryan is able to show Delko why he stopped playing the game. Raping a woman during a robbery is worth 1000 points. Another startling discovery within the game: the scenario for robbing the Federal Reserve Bank helicopter involved a "sniper option." They realized that the other robber, Demon, was probably setting up to take a shot at a police officer during the aborted heist. On a rooftop across from the helicopter-landing pad, Delko and Horatio find a .308 bullet and Demon's painted goalie mask stashed behind some piping. The only reason the shot didn't go off was because the helicopter landed in a position different than how it landed in the game, thus blocking the line of fire. The bullet is sent to Ballistics, the mask to DNA. Delko hooks up with Calleigh and they realize the hockey mask is a custom fitted item. That means they can be put it through Biometrics. In quick pops we see how the plaster cast was molded to the athlete's face and then manufactured with a heated sheet of clear plastic. There are 80 nodal points on a human face. They only need 17 for the CSI's facial recognition software to make a comparison and give them a profile of what Demon actually looks like. They'll use the Miami U. Student yearbooks. Calleigh leaves Delko to the task and crosses paths with Special Agent Elliott again. He's interviewed and cleared the girl, Kim Mills. He asks Calleigh out for drinks after her shift. She stifles her excitement and replies that he can take her out for a whole dinner if they catch these homicidal gamers. Meanwhile, Ryan has reached the next level of the game and informs Horatio that it involves a hit on a police station in order to steal criminal evidence that could convict the player. Horatio calls for a security lockdown just as two gunmen wearing ski masks, baseball caps and shades burst in through the North Lobby with Tech-9s. They move toward the evidence vault and one turns his gun on Natalia Boa Vista. However, Horatio blows him away just before he can take his kill shot. The other gunman ("Glasses") sprays the lobby with automatic fire. Agent Elliott tackles Calleigh, shielding her, and is wounded. Horatio hits "Glasses" in the shoulder, knocking him down. As Calleigh coordinates Agent Elliott's evacuation to the hospital, the suspect is arrested. His wound isn't life threatening, just painful. Real bullets are funny that way. His real name is Michael Page. His glasses are tricked out, optic embedded with circuitry and a tiny camera that can project a 3-D architectural rendering of CSI's remodeled DNA Lab. Natalia recalls the firm was K.N.B. Design. Delko finds out that Michael "Glasses" Page interned for the firm. That's how he got the blueprints. In pain and pressed, he states that he doesn't know who "Demon" really is, that they met online. The only place they have in common is the University Research library where they reported their points to the scorekeeper, Evan Walsh (aka "The Wizard"). Meanwhile, Tripp has traced the Tech-9s to a stolen shipment out of Tampa. They're expensive items for college kids.

    A visit to campus turns up another casualty of the game down in the library basement. Horatio and Delko find the bone-thin body of Evan Walsh. The crystals on his skin tell Alexx that the kid died of renal failure. The game log shows he was playing "Urban Hellraisers" for seventy straight hours on a diet of soda. The kid was at the center of the game. He knew every player and every crime. A box of Tech-9s is found. The scoreboard has a cryptic instruction: "all returns to 1312 Surf Street." The location turns out to be a photography studio run by Carl Hiatt. More Tech-9s are found. Cornered, Carl states that he gets the guns from an unknown guy who pays him cash to distribute them to the student-players. Delko finds on his computer an icon that matches the watermark on the bag that held the robbery cash and dye pack. It belongs to Trance International. And who are they?

    Meanwhile, Special Agent Elliott is ready to be released from the hospital. Calleigh has come to get him, but she discovers the man has a fiancée, Megan West. She makes a tactical and painful retreat. Meanwhile, the facial recognition software has led to John Berg, a former basketball player who used to wear a clear plastic mask. He states he threw away the mask after he blew out his knee a year ago. He looks like a guy who found another game until Valera calls in with DNA results from Demon's mask recovered from the sniper's rooftop. The AMELOGENIN was X-X, for female. Calleigh gets that info just before she has her final face-to-face with Agent Elliott. He apologizes for the awkwardness. He didn't make a move on her a year ago because the late John Hagen told him to back off. He should have asked her out anyway. She agrees, but returns to the business at hand. His idea of being thorough falls short of her standards. He released Kim Mills, who turns out to be Demon. The DNA from the mask will, no doubt match hers. When arrested and brought back into interrogation, the girl folds. The guys play 24-7. It was the only way to get them to notice her. And she was better than all of them. Now she's going to serve more years in jail, too.

    Chris Allen, creator and distributor of the video game "Urban Hellraisers," is brought into MDPD and buckles under the weight of Horatio's tough questioning. Trance International is his holding company, which also owns the building at 1312 Surf Street where weapons were distributed to juveniles. The evidence shows that Mr. Allen created some deadly hype to sell the game--he had kids try out the game with real weapons in real locations. Horatio will make sure his high-priced lawyers won't enable him to get away with these crimes, including four death

    Brolo on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    God, that's not real... is it?

    Moriveth on
  • VeegeezeeVeegeezee Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    hee hee

    'Horatio' sounds like 'fellatio'

    Veegeezee on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Moriveth wrote: »
    God, that's not real... is it?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Hellraisers_(CSI_Episode)

    It's not even fanfiction.

    Brolo on
  • MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    God, CSI is such shit.

    Moriveth on
  • No Great NameNo Great Name FRAUD DETECTED Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    No Great Name on
    PSN: NoGreatName Steam:SirToons Twitch: SirToons
    sirtoons.png
  • Jacques L'HommeJacques L'Homme BAH! He was a rank amateur compared to, DR. COLOSSUS!Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    After the words Miami and CSI came up the first thing into my head was "YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

    Edit: Dammit NGN. Always one step ahead, aren't you?

    Jacques L'Homme on
  • ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Man why you guys gotta be hating on an instrument just because it's in a video game.

    edit: TV always does the worst and most retarded shit ever with video games. The least offensive stuff is usually somebody getting a game as a present or somebody playing a gameboy that doesn't have a cartridge in it.

    Artreus on
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  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    looks like its.. game over

    Wren on
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    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    They take his mask off. He's another 19-year-old student. "Better watch your grill, Johnny Law. We're still in play," he snorts arrogantly. Ryan reacts. He knows what this kid is saying. In the back of his CSI Hummer he pulls out a wireless game controller and sorts through his discs until he comes to the game titled "Urban Hellraisers." On the Hummer's A.V. screen, the CSIs watch a sequence of this offensive action game.

    I think this is my favorite part.

    Brolo on
  • MorkathMorkath Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited December 2008
    That's Chris Allen, a hip entrepreneur. "Urban Hellraisers" is his company's top seller. He refuses to give the detectives a breakdown of the game. It's proprietary and he's safeguarding his stockholders. If the MDPD wants to know what's in the game, they'll have to play the game.

    Haha, what?

    Man, ignoring all the other shit wrong with that episode; even if that was remotely close to a real answer a company would give, someone needs to tell CSI's writers about gamefaqs.

    Morkath on
  • WrenWren ninja_bird Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    I like the CSI:NY where the chief csi guy has to play second life

    the arena battle was hilarious

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Rolo wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    God, that's not real... is it?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Hellraisers_(CSI_Episode)

    It's not even fanfiction.

    My God.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


  • ArtreusArtreus I'm a wizard And that looks fucked upRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Wren wrote: »
    I like the CSI:NY where the chief csi guy has to play second life

    the arena battle was hilarious

    And the other one where some guy made a cabin on a lake where he kept his victims, and it was a perfect recreation of a real lake somewhere. And to find out where it was they had to go to the main office of "another universe" (second life) and on his giant wall of monitors, they had to convince him to turn night into day. Which had never been done before.

    oh wait I think that was law and order anyway.

    Artreus on
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  • GoatmonGoatmon Companion of Kess Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Wren wrote: »
    I like the CSI:NY where the chief csi guy has to play second life

    the arena battle was hilarious

    Or how they hacked an online game to adjust the environment settings that anyone can change.

    edit: I am very slow.

    Goatmon on
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  • Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Speaking of odd news, some woman was at a drive up ATM in a nearby town, dropped something, and instead of getting out of her car to get it, she just opened her door and leaned her head out. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem in a manual, but she was driving an automatic, so apparently when her foot slid off the brake her car started moving forward, and she could not lift herself up in time, and her head was crushed between her car and a concrete post.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Why did she not put it in park at the ATM?

    MKR on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    no kidding, that's just stupid, and for that exact reason.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Oh imagine that.

    Synthetic Orange on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Speaking of odd news, some woman was at a drive up ATM in a nearby town, dropped something, and instead of getting out of her car to get it, she just opened her door and leaned her head out. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem in a manual, but she was driving an automatic, so apparently when her foot slid off the brake her car started moving forward, and she could not lift herself up in time, and her head was crushed between her car and a concrete post.
    are they hailing it as a "tragedy"

    because really it isn't

    Faricazy on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Faricazy wrote: »
    Speaking of odd news, some woman was at a drive up ATM in a nearby town, dropped something, and instead of getting out of her car to get it, she just opened her door and leaned her head out. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem in a manual, but she was driving an automatic, so apparently when her foot slid off the brake her car started moving forward, and she could not lift herself up in time, and her head was crushed between her car and a concrete post.
    are they hailing it as a "tragedy"

    because really it isn't

    far closer to a comedy

    Brolo on
  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    MKR wrote: »
    Why did she not put it in park at the ATM?
    She was 65

    Seattle Thread on
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  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Makershot wrote: »
    MKR wrote: »
    Why did she not put it in park at the ATM?
    She was 65
    so?

    Faricazy on
  • MKRMKR Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    If you can operate a two ton death machine, remember a PIN, and successfully maneuver into a drive-through ATM, then you can push a stick up.

    MKR on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    there's no scenario where she isn't retarded

    if she is getting old and senile that's fine, but if while doing so continues driving, then guess what, retarded

    i have zero sympathy for bad drivers, regardless of their circumstances. if something is preventing you from being in complete control of your vehicle, don't get in the driver's seat.

    Faricazy on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    oh yeah, and I saw that episode of CSI.

    one of the rare semen-less episodes.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    i think law and order svu has gone the videogame route like five times in its history. like one episode was about kids copying grand theft auto and running people over, then they put videogames on trial or some shit. and i think they had a similar episode where some dude picked up chicks in second life and killed them in a cabin by a lake or some thing, episode titled avatar.

    i'd rather watch svu over csi because benson and stabler are the hottest cops and ice t always has something funny to say.

    lostwords on
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  • Synthetic OrangeSynthetic Orange Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    You're just watching it for the hot rape victims. :\

    Synthetic Orange on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    their tears as they go into vivid detail about the crime really gets me going

    lostwords on
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  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Faricazy wrote: »
    there's no scenario where she isn't retarded

    if she is getting old and senile that's fine, but if while doing so continues driving, then guess what, retarded

    i have zero sympathy for bad drivers, regardless of their circumstances. if something is preventing you from being in complete control of your vehicle, don't get in the driver's seat.
    No sympathy intended. Old drivers generally are a danger on the road and really should be tested much more thoroughly when renewing their licenses. As it stands now, a $10 fee and maybe a written test are all it takes to get your license renewed, even if your mind and vision are not nearly as sharp as they were they day that license was issued.

    Seattle Thread on
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  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Rolo wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    God, that's not real... is it?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Hellraisers_(CSI_Episode)

    It's not even fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is essentially CSI fanfiction.

    NotASenator on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    i think law and order svu has gone the videogame route like five times in its history. like one episode was about kids copying grand theft auto and running people over, then they put videogames on trial or some shit. and i think they had a similar episode where some dude picked up chicks in second life and killed them in a cabin by a lake or some thing, episode titled avatar.

    i'd rather watch svu over csi because benson and stabler are the hottest cops and ice t always has something funny to say.

    Munch used to be one of the raunchiest comedians.

    NotASenator on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    in the show, he basically plays a hippie cop who says one or two funny quips about the case and goes back to chilling behind his desk, at least in the later seasons. The earlier seasons had him being awesome with him and ice t being team badass

    lostwords on
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  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Rolo wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    God, that's not real... is it?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Hellraisers_(CSI_Episode)

    It's not even fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is essentially CSI fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is not even filmed in Miami, it's filmed in LA

    which looks nothing like Miami

    Quoth on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Yeah, Benson and Stabler would follow the main lead, sending Munch and Ice-T to investigate the side story.

    That's unless it involved the inner city, drugs or black people, and then they could incorporate how Ice-T is from the streets and used to do undercover work.

    Then they had to cut down on that stuff so that the procedural drama could spend more and more time talking about Benson's crumbling marriage or psychoanalyzing Benson's weird rape child issues.

    NotASenator on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Quoth wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Rolo wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    God, that's not real... is it?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Hellraisers_(CSI_Episode)

    It's not even fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is essentially CSI fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is not even filmed in Miami, it's filmed in LA

    which looks nothing like Miami
    I didn't know this, and that's hilarious.

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • QuothQuoth the Raven Miami, FL FOR REALRegistered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Mysst wrote: »
    Quoth wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Rolo wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    God, that's not real... is it?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Hellraisers_(CSI_Episode)

    It's not even fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is essentially CSI fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is not even filmed in Miami, it's filmed in LA

    which looks nothing like Miami
    I didn't know this, and that's hilarious.

    they're all like "just put a yellow filter on it, no one will know, Miami is super yellow after all"

    o_O

    Quoth on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited December 2008
    Quoth wrote: »
    Mysst wrote: »
    Quoth wrote: »
    NotACrook wrote: »
    Rolo wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    God, that's not real... is it?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Hellraisers_(CSI_Episode)

    It's not even fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is essentially CSI fanfiction.

    CSI: Miami is not even filmed in Miami, it's filmed in LA

    which looks nothing like Miami
    I didn't know this, and that's hilarious.

    they're all like "just put a yellow filter on it, no one will know, Miami is super yellow after all"

    o_O

    I thought Cubans lived there.

    NotASenator on
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