I live in campus housing with three roommates, we'll call them Beth, Cara, and Dana. I have been living with Beth and Cara for two years, Dana moved in to replace a roommate who moved out to live with her boyfriend (I'm great friends with her still)
I just came back over spring break, and found the following things:
1) A clean kitchen
2)A a set of recycling bins with labels
3) Shelves in the kitchen cupboards labeled in sharpie with what should go on the shelves
4) A large note telling me (and Amy and Beth) that we have assigned garbage days and dishwashing days, and we need to remove all of the stuff from the common area that is a "personal item"... signed, Dana.
I replied with a note of my own, saying I planned on opting out of the trash days since I don't contribute to the communal trash (I have a can in my room, since I got tired of being the only one to take out the trash, and I didn't want to feel guilty for contributing to the trash and refusing to take it out.) I have no personal items in the common area since I don't like hanging out in there, and I have no problem doing dishes, and I wrote that in the note.
The next day I came in and my entire name was blacked out in sharpie, even over the dishwashing bit. Dana is clearly mad at me.
I have been trying to get a chance to talk to her, but she's had friends over a lot lately and I don't want to be awkward and bring up problems when she is hanging out with her friends. The problem is, I'm not at the apartment that much, and so the other three girls are much more in touch with one another, and I'm sort of the odd one out.
Most of the stuff in the kitchen belongs to me (microwave, dishes, knives, toaster, cleaning supplies, pots and pans... the only thing that doesn't is the drinking glasses and a few odds and ends that my other roommates have. Dana has nothing in the kitchen.
Today I was cooking and realized a lot of my stuff is missing. My knife block, my kitchen scrubbers, Two boxes of Mr. Clean magic erasers, and a pan. I realize that doesn't seem like a lot, but I bought this stuff for myself and I planned on keeping most of my kitchen supplies for awhile, I didn't buy them to just be disposable or anything.
I don't know what to do! She's clearly mad at me, and writing a note did not help (Dana threw it away without responding, it was just a note saying I couldn't find the stuff)
Do I ask her if she stole it? Do I ignore it to preserve the peace? If she says she did throw it away, can I ask her to buy me some new ones? Should I move all of my stuff out of the kitchen, to avoid further disposal of things I own? I only have to live with her for another six weeks, then I'm moving out.
Quickly: Roommate possibly threw away some of my stuff when "cleaning"... how do I respond?