New webcomics- criticism welcome.

permadeadpermadead Registered User
edited March 2009 in Artist's Corner
I've got some comics I made for fun. I know they're not good artistically but I'm curious what people besides me and my friends would think of them, so I threw together a webpage and uploaded them.


page5.gif

permadead on

Posts

  • NarcolepsyNarcolepsy Registered User
    edited March 2009
    I think you have to include art in the post, or it is just "site whoring".

    As for the strip's content, if you yourself refer to it as "not good artistically", then why upload them to be judged? If you and your friends like them, who cares what others think? Personally... I didn't get the humor. It was too low brow, too obvious, and it seemed forced. The font was also hurting my eyes a little.

    As for the art, I cannot draw, so I can't really critique you. But, as an unbiased third-party, if I came across this on the internet, I wouldn't stay long. The art has to at least be interesting enough to keep people on the page.

    But hey, you're creating stuff, which is a lot more than most can say.

    Narcolepsy on
  • NarcolepsyNarcolepsy Registered User
    edited March 2009
    And also, " I still do this because it entertains me. " That's all you need ^^.

    Narcolepsy on
  • permadeadpermadead Registered User
    edited March 2009
    for some reason the image stopped working. stupid 50webs.com


    fixed it.

    permadead on
  • NarcolepsyNarcolepsy Registered User
    edited March 2009
    permadead wrote: »
    for some reason the image stopped working. stupid 50webs.com

    Oh, ok... I thought that was just a strange ad...

    Narcolepsy on
  • permadeadpermadead Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Narcolepsy wrote: »
    As for the strip's content, if you yourself refer to it as "not good artistically", then why upload them to be judged?

    a comic doesn't have to be a masterpiece to be entertaining. I know my artwork isn't incredible, but it's at least not so sucky that I'm embarrassed to share it. My friends and I think they're fun to read, so hopefully we're not the only ones who share the same sense of humor. In theory, I should get better as I keep making them. Criticism plays a role in getting better as long as I don't get disappointed and quit :p.

    permadead on
  • GrennGrenn Registered User
    edited March 2009
    I am critical of Comic Sans.

    Grenn on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yeah, I don't know dude, the writing isn't doing it for me at all. It's completely over-using the "excessive violence is funny" card, you need a more down to make sure the ups hit home. Also never re-use images in multiple panels, it sticks out like a flaming cock.

    The whole thing reads like a teenage horror fan boy comic, both in art and writing. It's great if your good at art and writing, however you can get away with bad art if your writing is brilliant, but at the moment you don't have a handle on either. I'm not saying this to be a dick but to give you some perspective on where you stand, both your art and writing need work.

    Still it's all relative, if you just want to get a laugh out of your friends and this works, great. But if you want it to be something that would be considered successful you need to put in a lot of work, everyone has to start at some point and you do already have a rudimentary handle on drawing...ehh it's up to you.

    Mustang on
  • permadeadpermadead Registered User
    edited March 2009
    A lot of my problem is time. I really don't get enough free time to put real work into these. For the most part I just took some ideas and threw them together in a half-assed sort of way. If i spent more time on the details and writing and didn't re-use images it would probably take me a couple weeks per page, But I know I CAN do better. I think I can actually sketch okay when I take the time, but even then, when I go over it with a pen it comes out looking crappy :p . I guess just through practice you can draw faster, and I should probably look into learning to ink with something better than a sharpie if I want people to look at it other than my friends.

    Honestly though, I haven't been exposed to the comic world enough to know what people consider to be good or bad art or writing. I'm not even sure I've heard anyone talk about "ups and downs" but I think I know what you mean. :p . I didn't spend much time on the writing partly because my friends are even less into comics and they like the mindless violence thing. I wasn't sure what comic buffs in general would think of it, and now I've got some things to work on if I want to make something that people other than me and my little circle would enjoy.

    permadead on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'm not even sure I've heard anyone talk about "ups and downs"

    That's probably because they don't (honestly I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about most of the time), I think what I'm trying to say is that your comic can't be all punchline. You need to set shit up.

    Mustang on
  • permadeadpermadead Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Mustang wrote: »
    That's probably because they don't (honestly I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about most of the time), I think what I'm trying to say is that your comic can't be all punchline. You need to set shit up.

    Yeah, that's what I thought you were saying. makes sense. I'm going to work on making a better one. I wonder what this pen tool does in photoshop... :P

    permadead on
  • RavenshadowRavenshadow Registered User
    edited March 2009
    permadead wrote: »
    A lot of my problem is time. I really don't get enough free time to put real work into these. For the most part I just took some ideas and threw them together in a half-assed sort of way. If i spent more time on the details and writing and didn't re-use images it would probably take me a couple weeks per page, But I know I CAN do better. I think I can actually sketch okay when I take the time, but even then, when I go over it with a pen it comes out looking crappy :p . I guess just through practice you can draw faster, and I should probably look into learning to ink with something better than a sharpie if I want people to look at it other than my friends.

    Honestly though, I haven't been exposed to the comic world enough to know what people consider to be good or bad art or writing. I'm not even sure I've heard anyone talk about "ups and downs" but I think I know what you mean. :p . I didn't spend much time on the writing partly because my friends are even less into comics and they like the mindless violence thing. I wasn't sure what comic buffs in general would think of it, and now I've got some things to work on if I want to make something that people other than me and my little circle would enjoy.

    No ones gonna cut you much slack because you don't have enough time. If you're just doing it for you and your friends fine, do whatever you want. But if you think its worth doing, you should probably take the time you need and do it right (or at least to the best of your abilities).

    There's nothing wrong with taking a week or two per page. As you said, the more you do it the faster you'll get. But if you just half ass it all the time it'll take much longer than it should to get better (if you get better at all).

    In short. Use your whole ass.

    Ravenshadow on
    That's why I like the AC. Just the right combination of stupid butt-fuckery and verbal masturbation to suit my needs.
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The entire point of the comic needs to be simplified. Like a fraction. If you have a 4/16 you can cancel out the "demon summoning" and the "unecessary comments in blue" factors to give yourself 1/4, which is much easier to work with and much less for the viewer to think about.

    Also, either 1 or 4 is the number of panels this comic strip should have.

    Edit: and I just noticed that there was an entire top row of panels.

    I mean, how unnecessary is an entire row of panels if I forgot about them in the time between reading it and posting a critique?

    Metalbourne on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    Maybe the rest of the comic is better, but this specific one just makes me think, "this is written by a teenager who's a huge fan of American Psycho and/or Natural Born Killers, put didn't pick up on the fact that both those films are supposed to be satire."

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Whoa those tiles on the floor are extraneous to the max!

    Seriously, there is way to many panels and way too much dialog, but I just can't get over those floor tiles. That must have cost a fortune in labor.

    earthwormadam on
  • t i mt i m Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    less is more.

    t i m on
    God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.” Bill Watterson
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    permadead wrote: »
    A lot of my problem is time.
    I mean, how unnecessary is an entire row of panels if I forgot about them
    Whoa those tiles on the floor are extraneous to the max!
    t i m wrote: »
    less is more.

    Hmmm....

    page5.gif

    Y'know, I wasn't pissed off until I saved this to do a paintover and found out it was page 5 of this interminable mediocrity-fest. No wonder you don't have the time.

    Metalbourne on
  • permadeadpermadead Registered User
    edited March 2009
    I consider these to be practice.

    permadead on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Well then practice getting your point across in as few panels and words as possile.

    Metalbourne on
  • permadeadpermadead Registered User
    edited March 2009
    I think part of that problem was that I was trying to have some story in it. But when it's focused too much on pointless violence and humor (especially an unappreciated sense humor), and the artwork is less than half-assed, the story becomes irrelevant. Right now, the reader doesn't give a damn about what is happening to these people so to have the extra cells to add story is just a waste of space. So, to fix that problem I have to take a lot of that out and replace it with better writing and purpose. And much better artwork. Either that or less panels and little story but still better writing and artwork. At least that's what I've taken from this so far.

    permadead on
  • permadeadpermadead Registered User
    edited March 2009
    Alright well, I'm basically rethinking the whole thing. I want it to have a story, like in comic books, but I also want it to be a little cartoony. I made a few practice drawings, but I don't know if I've found the right style to go with...


    practicesample.jpg


    thoughts?

    permadead on
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