I think it would have been more appropriate to just look her levelly in the eye and state, "Normally I'd take you up on your offer but I've already filled my monthly quota of fucking fat disgusting whores."
I think it would have been more appropriate to just look her levelly in the eye and state, "Normally I'd take you up on your offer but I've already filled my monthly quota of fucking fat disgusting whores."
But then her husband would kill him. Of course that would be followed by
My friend Ron started going to a gym so he could (not be so fat) get into shape. He was taking a shower and about to leave when he realized that there was this dude standing at the hand dryers, bent over, whistling, holding his asscheeks apart, and kind of rocking back and forth on his heels and the balls of his feet.
Ron stared for a moment, and when the guy looked up, he just spread 'em further, whistled a bit louder, and smiled.
How did he whistle while smiling?
Framling on
you're = you are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
This discussion made me think of that scene in Sideways where he agrees to go to the waitress' house to get his friend's wallet back and he catches her husband fucking the shit out of her.
My friend Ron started going to a gym so he could (not be so fat) get into shape. He was taking a shower and about to leave when he realized that there was this dude standing at the hand dryers, bent over, whistling, holding his asscheeks apart, and kind of rocking back and forth on his heels and the balls of his feet.
Ron stared for a moment, and when the guy looked up, he just spread 'em further, whistled a bit louder, and smiled.
How did he whistle while smiling?
I assumed he was whistling through his asshole.
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FramlingFaceHeadGeebs has bad ideas.Registered Userregular
This discussion made me think of that scene in Sideways where he agrees to go to the waitress' house to get his friend's wallet back and he catches her husband fucking the shit out of her.
spoiler
Framling on
you're = you are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
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FramlingFaceHeadGeebs has bad ideas.Registered Userregular
edited February 2007
Was it him whistling, or was it the air from the dryer whistling as it blew over his asshole?
Framling on
you're = you are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
This discussion made me think of that scene in Sideways where he agrees to go to the waitress' house to get his friend's wallet back and he catches her husband fucking the shit out of her.
man that seen was what happens when "keepin' it real goes wrong". It was icky. I don't want to see real looking low class sex, I want to see pretty hollywood sex.
A couple weeks ago I was at the bar, I walk up to the ATM to get some cash out. As I'm standing there some people walk up behind me and suddenly I feel a hand reach out and grab my ass. I turn around and look and it's this fat lady in her 40s with what I assume was her husband or boyfriend, I try to laugh it off because it's obvious she's drunk so I turn back around and try to move out of the way of her roaming hands. At this point I'm begging the ATM to hurry up because this is the longest this has ever taken. Then comes the hand on my ass again and this time she's whispering in my ear, 'Sure are taking your time, if you don't hurry up your going to have to make a deposit in me!' I shudder at the thought and again try to move out of the way while still staying in front of the machine cause my card and money are still in there. Her hand keeps roaming on my ass and now whats this? Oh yeah that's her literally trying to put her finger up my butt through my pants and again she has some utterly terrifying lines this time not whispered but said loudly while looking back to her monster of a husband, 'Hey yeah you like this? Is this an exit only?!' I look back at horror at this point and see her looking at her husband who is staring at my ass intently with a big grin on his face. Finally my money comes out. I grab it and my card and bolt.
It should be legal to just shit some people in the face with a crowbar.
They can cuff me and take me to the station, but once they hear what went down they can be like "Sorry for the inconvenience", and I would be all, "No sweat officers, you're just doin' your job."
FramlingFaceHeadGeebs has bad ideas.Registered Userregular
edited February 2007
So the other day, we're at the market, and I have to pee and my nose is a little stuffy. So I figure I'll go find the bathroom, take care of the #1, and maybe if it's not crowded or anything, clean out the attic a little.
I get in there, and there's some dudes, but they're wrapping things up so that by the time I'm done, they're gone, and I figure "sweet, a little privacy."
But then this other dude walks in. The way the blocking went down, I wound up moving over to the sink to wash up as he went to go pee. I'm standing there, thinking "Dammit, now how am I going to take care of my extra business with this dude here?"
And then I turn around. The guy is standing at the urinal, peeing, but with his pants around his ankles. His boxers are still up, I guess he's got no problem with poking the little guy through that flap, but his pants are all the way down. Maybe the guy's got a zipper phobia or something, I don't know.
I think for a second, and decide "What the fuck. Is he going to think I'm wierd?" So I picked what needed picking and was on my way.
Framling on
you're = you are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
So the other day, we're at the market, and I have to pee and my nose is a little stuffy. So I figure I'll go find the bathroom, take care of the #1, and maybe if it's not crowded or anything, clean out the attic a little.
I get in there, and there's some dudes, but they're wrapping things up so that by the time I'm done, they're gone, and I figure "sweet, a little privacy."
But then this other dude walks in. The way the blocking went down, I wound up moving over to the sink to wash up as he went to go pee. I'm standing there, thinking "Dammit, now how am I going to take care of my extra business with this dude here?"
And then I turn around. The guy is standing at the urinal, peeing, but with his pants around his ankles. His boxers are still up, I guess he's got no problem with poking the little guy through that flap, but his pants are all the way down. Maybe the guy's got a zipper phobia or something, I don't know.
I think for a second, and decide "What the fuck. Is he going to think I'm wierd?" So I picked what needed picking and was on my way.
Bad, bad, bad form.
Only one step up from standing bareass at a urinal.
I knew a kid who did that in First Grade. Even then, pretty much everyone else knew.
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FramlingFaceHeadGeebs has bad ideas.Registered Userregular
edited February 2007
I think he may have been some manner of hobo.
Framling on
you're = you are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
This thread topic reminded me of about ten different drum corps stories, but here's the most appropriate one:
My friend Sean was taking a dump in a high school locker room stall (public school bathrooms were all we ever got to use) and it didn't have a door, so everyone was making the obligatory jokes as they passed by the stall. I decided to take it to the next level, and I actually entered the stall, sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulders. He later told me that he wasn't very comfortable with that whole situation.
Only one step up from standing bareass at a urinal.
I knew a kid who did that in First Grade. Even then, pretty much everyone else knew.
I knew a guy who was a regular at the private club I worked at that stood at the urinal, bare-assed. Nothing will ruin your day to say, "Hey, Jack, how was your game of tenni-ohshitdude! Tennis was hot and sweaty today, I see. Well, I'll go back and make that martini for you."
Only one step up from standing bareass at a urinal.
I knew a kid who did that in First Grade. Even then, pretty much everyone else knew.
I knew a guy who was a regular at the private club I worked at that stood at the urinal, bare-assed. Nothing will ruin your day to say, "Hey, Jack, how was your game of tenni-ohshitdude! Tennis was hot and sweaty today, I see. Well, I'll go back and make that martini for you."
What convinces a man that it is totally okay to just put your pants around your ankles to take a pee while everyone can see your butt? This ain't the showers, man.
Plus, I think I'm trained to fear the floor of any public restroom. I don't want anything not protected by half an inch of shoe rubber or leather touching that floor.
What convinces a man that it is totally okay to just put your pants around your ankles to take a pee while everyone can see your butt? This ain't the showers, man.
God only knows what kind of potty training they underwent; something to do with pissing at gunpoint keeps sprining to mind. And yeah, if you are over the age of three, unzip your fly, pull it out and piss. If your dick is too short and you have to drop your trousers completely, you might want to consider suicide.
What convinces a man that it is totally okay to just put your pants around your ankles to take a pee while everyone can see your butt? This ain't the showers, man.
God only knows what kind of potty training they underwent; something to do with pissing at gunpoint keeps sprining to mind. And yeah, if you are over the age of three, unzip your fly, pull it out and piss. If your dick is too short and you have to drop your trousers completely, you might want to consider using the God-damned stall, Jesus..
Saurkun, that is a merciful alternative and it's very humane to the needle-dick population. Expect to start receiving their newsletter and phonecalls asking you to be a keynote speaker.
p.s. I am in no way implying that you have a tiny penis, just that you have too much mercy in your soul.
Man, I looked at a guy whilst he was pissing today
TFS, you are going to have ladyparts soon, so I think that you can do whatever you want for the time being. I mean, I think I saw it in the last newsletter, I'm not sure.
Darth Waiter on
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
This thread topic reminded me of about ten different drum corps stories, but here's the most appropriate one:
My friend Sean was taking a dump in a high school locker room stall (public school bathrooms were all we ever got to use) and it didn't have a door, so everyone was making the obligatory jokes as they passed by the stall. I decided to take it to the next level, and I actually entered the stall, sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulders. He later told me that he wasn't very comfortable with that whole situation.
so a dude in a couple of my classes was arrested on two charges of statutory rape and one charge of statutory sodomy. The girl were twelve and thirteen.
Saurkun, that is a merciful alternative and it's very humane to the needle-dick population. Expect to start receiving their newsletter and phonecalls asking you to be a keynote speaker.
p.s. I am in no way implying that you have a tiny penis, just that you have too much mercy in your soul.
Suicide is messy and it means other people have to clean up. It is a bigger waste than staying alive and dealing with your shit.
so a dude in a couple of my classes was arrested on two charges of statutory rape and one charge of statutory sodomy. The girl were twelve and thirteen.
Suicide is messy and it means other people have to clean up. It is a bigger waste than staying alive and dealing with your shit.
There's nothing more noble than to end your existence by slicing your wrists while falling into the shark tank at Sea World; countless numbers of people will be saved every year from tragic shark attacks because they won't be stupid enough to get in the water in the first place.
On the other hand, there's always barber college.
Darth Waiter on
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Suicide is messy and it means other people have to clean up. It is a bigger waste than staying alive and dealing with your shit.
There's nothing more noble than to end your existence by slicing your wrists while falling into the shark tank at Sea World; countless numbers of people will be saved every year from tragic shark attacks because they won't be stupid enough to get in the water in the first place.
On the other hand, there's always barber college.
Okay, that's actually really efficient and nice to animals.
so a dude in a couple of my classes was arrested on two charges of statutory rape and one charge of statutory sodomy. The girl were twelve and thirteen.
Kick him in the balls the next time you see him.
I won't be seeing him ever again, probably. He's looking at a minimum from two years. It's good to see that he at least adhered to "If there isn't grass on the field, play in the mud."
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But then her husband would kill him. Of course that would be followed by
How did he whistle while smiling?
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
I assumed he was whistling through his asshole.
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
like a dick m i rite?
man that seen was what happens when "keepin' it real goes wrong". It was icky. I don't want to see real looking low class sex, I want to see pretty hollywood sex.
It should be legal to just shit some people in the face with a crowbar.
They can cuff me and take me to the station, but once they hear what went down they can be like "Sorry for the inconvenience", and I would be all, "No sweat officers, you're just doin' your job."
FAGGOT
FUCKING FAGGOT
I get in there, and there's some dudes, but they're wrapping things up so that by the time I'm done, they're gone, and I figure "sweet, a little privacy."
But then this other dude walks in. The way the blocking went down, I wound up moving over to the sink to wash up as he went to go pee. I'm standing there, thinking "Dammit, now how am I going to take care of my extra business with this dude here?"
And then I turn around. The guy is standing at the urinal, peeing, but with his pants around his ankles. His boxers are still up, I guess he's got no problem with poking the little guy through that flap, but his pants are all the way down. Maybe the guy's got a zipper phobia or something, I don't know.
I think for a second, and decide "What the fuck. Is he going to think I'm wierd?" So I picked what needed picking and was on my way.
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
Bad, bad, bad form.
Only one step up from standing bareass at a urinal.
I knew a kid who did that in First Grade. Even then, pretty much everyone else knew.
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
My friend Sean was taking a dump in a high school locker room stall (public school bathrooms were all we ever got to use) and it didn't have a door, so everyone was making the obligatory jokes as they passed by the stall. I decided to take it to the next level, and I actually entered the stall, sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulders. He later told me that he wasn't very comfortable with that whole situation.
I knew a guy who was a regular at the private club I worked at that stood at the urinal, bare-assed. Nothing will ruin your day to say, "Hey, Jack, how was your game of tenni-ohshitdude! Tennis was hot and sweaty today, I see. Well, I'll go back and make that martini for you."
for some reason I find this sentence really funny.
What convinces a man that it is totally okay to just put your pants around your ankles to take a pee while everyone can see your butt? This ain't the showers, man.
Plus, I think I'm trained to fear the floor of any public restroom. I don't want anything not protected by half an inch of shoe rubber or leather touching that floor.
God only knows what kind of potty training they underwent; something to do with pissing at gunpoint keeps sprining to mind. And yeah, if you are over the age of three, unzip your fly, pull it out and piss. If your dick is too short and you have to drop your trousers completely, you might want to consider suicide.
Excellent news.
p.s. I am in no way implying that you have a tiny penis, just that you have too much mercy in your soul.
TFS, you are going to have ladyparts soon, so I think that you can do whatever you want for the time being. I mean, I think I saw it in the last newsletter, I'm not sure.
Hahahahaha oh god
Did you love it
Suicide is messy and it means other people have to clean up. It is a bigger waste than staying alive and dealing with your shit.
Did it get your phantom cooch all hot and wet?
Kick him in the balls the next time you see him.
There's nothing more noble than to end your existence by slicing your wrists while falling into the shark tank at Sea World; countless numbers of people will be saved every year from tragic shark attacks because they won't be stupid enough to get in the water in the first place.
On the other hand, there's always barber college.
Okay, that's actually really efficient and nice to animals.
A+ on your suicide, Darth.
I won't be seeing him ever again, probably. He's looking at a minimum from two years. It's good to see that he at least adhered to "If there isn't grass on the field, play in the mud."