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How is that even food?

emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
edited October 2009 in Debate and/or Discourse
http://www.hulu.com/watch/27567/onion-news-network-dominos-scientists-test-limits-of-what-humans-will-eat

In the spirit of The Daily Show's mascot, a jar of Baconaise, I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of the darker corners of the grocery store and ask how some things on their shelves can still be called food; with all the hydrogenated oils and such, some junk food is only partially edible. So what's the worst of the worst, either in grocery stores or in fast food restaurants? And by worst, I don't necessarily mean gross or exotic - I mean devoid of nutrition or repulsively greasy/sugary.

I nominate the corndog. Not too many people are thrilled about eating hot dogs if they have an idea of what their ingredients are. But when you coat a hot dog in fried batter and then dip it in mustard, ick. What's worse, the corndog has a breakfast-style cousin called Pancake on a Stick. It's a pork link sausage with a pancake wrapping. That doesn't sound terrible but if you actually try to microwave this thing, the pancake becomes tough and the sausage sweats grease. Finish with maple syrup for dipping. Don't forget, you can also buy a chocolate chip variety on Pancake on a Stick!

That can't be food.

emnmnme on
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Posts

  • Vincent GraysonVincent Grayson Frederick, MDRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I always felt like McDonald's weird McGriddles were totally fucking disgusting.

    I can get behind the occasional sausage biscuit...but soaking the biscuit in syrup first? Ugh.

    Vincent Grayson on
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm pretty sure most people know hotdogs contain horrible crap.

    I'm sure people still eat hotdogs.

    I mean, at least it isn't duck fetus like balut.

    Kagera on
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  • Greg USNGreg USN Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    emnmnme wrote: »

    I nominate the corndog....

    ...That can't be food.

    You take that back right now.
    corndogs are FUCKING AWSOME!

    Greg USN on
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  • TamTam Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Both McGriddles and corndogs are awesome. Some of you really need to get in touch with your redneck side.

    Tam on
  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I know exactly what hot dogs contain. They are still fucking delicious.

    Captain Carrot on
  • gundam470gundam470 Drunk Gorilla CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    McGriddles are goddamn delicious.

    gundam470 on
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  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Incorrect good sir, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with a corndog, being a battered Frankfurter served on a stick. While there are numerous examples of how not to make a corndog, these do not influence the fact that perfectly acceptable and tasty corn dogs can be made.

    I mean, there are foods which are not foods. primarily the ranges of 'formed meat' products which we primarily target at children. Theres no way to make a good turkey twizzler.

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Greg USN wrote: »
    emnmnme wrote: »

    I nominate the corndog....

    ...That can't be food.

    You take that back right now.
    corndogs are FUCKING AWSOME!

    Next you'll be giving me a hard time for calling Fruity Pebbles a terrible cereal. Can you process that rice any more? I think not even though it's somehow part of a complete breakfast.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MadGwgiRgAM

    emnmnme on
  • Dr SnofeldDr Snofeld Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I personally can't understand how my countrymen can enjoy deep fried Mars bars. That's right kids, it's a battered fried chocolate bar with a caramel (I think) filling! Ick.

    Dr Snofeld on
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  • chrono_travellerchrono_traveller Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Greg USN wrote: »
    emnmnme wrote: »

    I nominate the corndog....

    ...That can't be food.

    You take that back right now.
    corndogs are FUCKING AWSOME!

    chrono_traveller on
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  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    My favorite part of the corndog is the batter. It absorbs only the good parts of the dog.

    Tofystedeth on
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  • TavTav Irish Minister for DefenceRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Deep fried Mars bar

    1622353060_674793d985.jpg

    Tav on
  • Tooter-FishTooter-Fish Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    tbloxham wrote: »
    I mean, there are foods which are not foods. primarily the ranges of 'formed meat' products which we primarily target at children. Theres no way to make a good turkey twizzler.

    You talkin bout..

    sequoia_potted_meat.jpg

    Tooter-Fish on
  • JurgJurg In a TeacupRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    What is it? In N' Out? Where you order a #X and they put X patties on a bun? The potential unhealthiness is staggering.

    Jurg on
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  • Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Greg USN wrote: »
    emnmnme wrote: »

    I nominate the corndog....

    ...That can't be food.

    You take that back right now.
    corndogs are FUCKING AWSOME!

    Next you'll be giving me a hard time for calling Fruity Pebbles a terrible cereal. Can you process that rice any more? I think not even though it's somehow part of a complete breakfast.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MadGwgiRgAM

    Pain and anguish are also part of a complete life.

    Robos A Go Go on
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Jurg wrote: »
    What is it? In N' Out? Where you order a #X and they put X patties on a bun? The potential unhealthiness is staggering.

    You can order an X by X, where one X is the number of patties and the other X is the number of cheese slices.

    But really, that's a pretty silly way to gauge unhealthiness. I mean, I could order a bunch of burgers anywhere and combine them, and the potential unhealthiness from that is staggering.

    Inquisitor on
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    tbloxham wrote: »
    I mean, there are foods which are not foods. primarily the ranges of 'formed meat' products which we primarily target at children. Theres no way to make a good turkey twizzler.

    You talkin bout..

    sequoia_potted_meat.jpg

    Ha, no, I'm talking about...

    twizzlers3.gif

    Mmm, turkey sweepings pressed into strange spirals held there by solidifier agents and 8 tonnes of salt...

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Jurg wrote: »
    What is it? In N' Out? Where you order a #X and they put X patties on a bun? The potential unhealthiness is staggering.

    You can order an X by X, where one X is the number of patties and the other X is the number of cheese slices.

    But really, that's a pretty silly way to gauge unhealthiness. I mean, I could order a bunch of burgers anywhere and combine them, and the potential unhealthiness from that is staggering.

    Indeed, and by burger standards In and Out is healthy and a decent choice. All natural stuff, small burger by modern standards and fries served unsalted by default.

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    kfcfb.jpg

    Podly on
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  • HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    Pretty much everything posted on that site is just... beyond me.

    Heartlash on
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  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    ch090418.gif

    My mom always bought Corn Flakes or Rice Krispies so I missed out on the sugary cereal fun growing up. The side effect is I can't stomach eating Frosted Lucky Charms or Cocoa Krispies. Hell, I tried a box of Kellog's Pops once and I thought I was eating a box of Cracker Jack with milk.

    emnmnme on
  • SenjutsuSenjutsu thot enthusiast Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Heartlash wrote: »
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    Pretty much everything posted on that site is just... beyond me.

    sweet and sour jesus
    The Cornhole

    Corn on the cob wrapped in hickory bacon with two hot dogs and two Colby-Jack cheese sticks wrapped in ground beef.

    There is not enough D:

    Senjutsu on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm not sure why you guys are so down on hotdogs. Granted, my mother would only buy Hebrew National and Brandeis buys all beef so they can get everything from one supplier.

    The most disgusting thing I've ever heard of is that British sandwich with fries and butter. I also once saw a sign that read "fried seafood/ icecream," but I later figured out that it was advertising two items rather than one item that was too long for one line.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    Heartlash wrote: »
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    Pretty much everything posted on that site is just... beyond me.

    sweet and sour jesus
    The Cornhole

    Corn on the cob wrapped in hickory bacon with two hot dogs and two Colby-Jack cheese sticks wrapped in ground beef.

    There is not enough D:

    I don't think that website even approaches the absurdity of turkey twizzlers. I mean, they've got something there which is effectively Nachos.

    edit - Hell, they've got Toad in the Hole on there. Which in England is just a sausage in a Yorkshire Pudding crust (its like a light batter you cook in the oven) That website includes some things which are frankly innocuous. I mean, yeah, 'Breakfast Cake' is absurd, but noone is going around eating breakfast cake.

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • DmanDman Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    you guys know what's going to happen here right?

    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=84297

    Elki wins that thread and every food thread by eating RAW FACE!

    Dman on
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    I'm not sure why you guys are so down on hotdogs. Granted, my mother would only buy Hebrew National and Brandeis buys all beef so they can get everything from one supplier.

    The most disgusting thing I've ever heard of is that British sandwich with fries and butter. I also once saw a sign that read "fried seafood/ icecream," but I later figured out that it was advertising two items rather than one item that was too long for one line.

    A chip butty? Err, thats just big fries (fish and chip style fries) in a bun or between two slices of bread. Do you eat fries? Bread? Its much 'healthier' than a burger.

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    Heartlash wrote: »
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    Pretty much everything posted on that site is just... beyond me.

    sweet and sour jesus
    The Cornhole

    Corn on the cob wrapped in hickory bacon with two hot dogs and two Colby-Jack cheese sticks wrapped in ground beef.

    There is not enough D:

    I don't think that website even approaches the absurdity of turkey twizzlers. I mean, they've got something there which is effectively Nachos.

    And I've had a choco taco. They're quite small (when prepackaged, at least) and standard ice cream truck fare on the cape. It's even on wikipedia, although this is pushing it:
    Choco Tacos have been sold at some Taco Bell restaurants.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I've never been brave enough to try a Tur-Duc-Ken. I've seen them in the frozen meats aisle - they're a stuffing-filled chicken lodged inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey. I assume gravy is included. Anyone here cook one before?

    emnmnme on
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »
    I'm not sure why you guys are so down on hotdogs. Granted, my mother would only buy Hebrew National and Brandeis buys all beef so they can get everything from one supplier.

    The most disgusting thing I've ever heard of is that British sandwich with fries and butter. I also once saw a sign that read "fried seafood/ icecream," but I later figured out that it was advertising two items rather than one item that was too long for one line.

    A chip butty? Err, thats just big fries (fish and chip style fries) in a bun or between two slices of bread. Do you eat fries? Bread? Its much 'healthier' than a burger.

    Not with butter. Seriously, who the fuck eats their french fries with butter?

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    emnmnme wrote: »
    I've never been brave enough to try a Tur-Duc-Ken. I've seen them in the frozen meats aisle - they're a stuffing-filled chicken lodged inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey. I assume gravy is included. Anyone here cook one before?

    Didn't the Romans do something like that but also with goose, pig, and cow in addition?

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »
    I'm not sure why you guys are so down on hotdogs. Granted, my mother would only buy Hebrew National and Brandeis buys all beef so they can get everything from one supplier.

    The most disgusting thing I've ever heard of is that British sandwich with fries and butter. I also once saw a sign that read "fried seafood/ icecream," but I later figured out that it was advertising two items rather than one item that was too long for one line.

    A chip butty? Err, thats just big fries (fish and chip style fries) in a bun or between two slices of bread. Do you eat fries? Bread? Its much 'healthier' than a burger.

    Not with butter. Seriously, who the fuck eats their french fries with butter?

    You don't have to use butter, its like you don't have to put Mayonaisse on a burger. The butter is your 'condiment'

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Heartlash wrote: »
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    Pretty much everything posted on that site is just... beyond me.

    i2dw5nf19ku6uvvnTG79vyu4o1_500.jpg

    *drool*

    OptimusZed on
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  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    emnmnme wrote: »
    I've never been brave enough to try a Tur-Duc-Ken. I've seen them in the frozen meats aisle - they're a stuffing-filled chicken lodged inside a duck stuffed inside a turkey. I assume gravy is included. Anyone here cook one before?

    Didn't the Romans do something like that but also with goose, pig, and cow in addition?

    The French hold the record here for stuffing animals with other animals...

    Wikipedia says....

    The largest recorded nested bird roast is 17 birds, attributed to a royal feast in France in the early 19th century (originally called a Rôti Sans Pareil, or "Roast without equal") - a bustard stuffed with a turkey, a goose, a pheasant, a chicken, a duck, a guinea fowl, a teal, a woodcock, a partridge, a plover, a lapwing, a quail, a thrush, a lark, an Ortolan Bunting and a Garden Warbler. [2] The final bird is small enough that it can be stuffed with a single olive; it also suggests that, unlike modern multi-bird roasts, there was no stuffing or other packing placed in between the birds. This dish probably could not be legally recreated in the modern era as many of the listed birds are now protected species. [1].

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • HeartlashHeartlash Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    Heartlash wrote: »
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    Pretty much everything posted on that site is just... beyond me.

    sweet and sour jesus
    The Cornhole

    Corn on the cob wrapped in hickory bacon with two hot dogs and two Colby-Jack cheese sticks wrapped in ground beef.

    There is not enough D:

    I don't think that website even approaches the absurdity of turkey twizzlers. I mean, they've got something there which is effectively Nachos.

    Yes Nachos...

    with POTATO CHIPS.

    D:

    Heartlash on
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    Our first game is now available for free on Google Play: Frontier: Isle of the Seven Gods
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »
    I'm not sure why you guys are so down on hotdogs. Granted, my mother would only buy Hebrew National and Brandeis buys all beef so they can get everything from one supplier.

    The most disgusting thing I've ever heard of is that British sandwich with fries and butter. I also once saw a sign that read "fried seafood/ icecream," but I later figured out that it was advertising two items rather than one item that was too long for one line.

    A chip butty? Err, thats just big fries (fish and chip style fries) in a bun or between two slices of bread. Do you eat fries? Bread? Its much 'healthier' than a burger.

    Not with butter. Seriously, who the fuck eats their french fries with butter?

    You don't have to use butter, its like you don't have to put Mayonaisse on a burger. The butter is your 'condiment'

    Then why do you call it a "butty?" Besides that, every article I've read (British people seem to bitch loud enough about them not being served in elementary schools to make the NYT every time a school does so) has noted that it's a fry and butter sandwich, sometimes adding that it's usually around a half a stick.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • DuffelDuffel jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I've met people who put butter on white rice... *vomit*

    The KFC Bowls are pretty sad - and scarily reminiscent of that Onion clip about the feed bags - but honestly everything at KFC is death warmed up. It reminds me of the "pizza" we used to get served during my public school days which had to be drained before eating, because it literally had a tablespoon or so of standing orange grease on it.

    Duffel on
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Turducken is awesome.

    Fencingsax on
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Scalfin wrote: »
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Scalfin wrote: »
    I'm not sure why you guys are so down on hotdogs. Granted, my mother would only buy Hebrew National and Brandeis buys all beef so they can get everything from one supplier.

    The most disgusting thing I've ever heard of is that British sandwich with fries and butter. I also once saw a sign that read "fried seafood/ icecream," but I later figured out that it was advertising two items rather than one item that was too long for one line.

    A chip butty? Err, thats just big fries (fish and chip style fries) in a bun or between two slices of bread. Do you eat fries? Bread? Its much 'healthier' than a burger.

    Not with butter. Seriously, who the fuck eats their french fries with butter?

    You don't have to use butter, its like you don't have to put Mayonaisse on a burger. The butter is your 'condiment'

    Then why do you call it a "butty?" Besides that, every article I've read (British people seem to bitch loud enough about them not being served in elementary schools to make the NYT every time a school does so) has noted that it's a fry and butter sandwich, sometimes adding that it's usually around a half a stick.

    Butty means sandwhich/roll. You might also make a 'Bacon Butty'. True you usually spread some butter on the bread, but its not fundamental. The butter certainly isn't a major ingredient, it just makes the bread not so dry since you usally would use cheap bread for this. You certainly wouldn't spread more butter on it (most people use margerine anyway) than you would on an average sandwich.

    I guess English people just like buttered bread. I mean, in England you would just always put some margerine on a sandwich if you made one unless it was really fancy.

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
  • ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    Apperantly, some southerners in SE== like fried chicken skin. I decided my sanity couldn't bear the wrong answer to the question of whether they meant that was the part of fried chicken they like best or they throw chicken skin into the deep fryer.

    Scalfin on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
  • tbloxhamtbloxham Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Heartlash wrote: »
    tbloxham wrote: »
    Senjutsu wrote: »
    Heartlash wrote: »
    http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

    Pretty much everything posted on that site is just... beyond me.

    sweet and sour jesus
    The Cornhole

    Corn on the cob wrapped in hickory bacon with two hot dogs and two Colby-Jack cheese sticks wrapped in ground beef.

    There is not enough D:

    I don't think that website even approaches the absurdity of turkey twizzlers. I mean, they've got something there which is effectively Nachos.

    Yes Nachos...

    with POTATO CHIPS.

    D:

    Err, I'm not seeing the problem. Its not like there is really a titanic difference between Corn Chips and Potato Chips.

    tbloxham on
    "That is cool" - Abraham Lincoln
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