Babies can be cute. Not cute enough for me to want a baby, though.
I have no "OMG NEED TO HAVE CHILD" thing going on in my head, though it seems a couple of people do...like, that's something they're crazy-excited about, can't wait to have a baby. That desire just doesn't exist in my brain. Am I a freak?
I mean, when the only thing I can think of as far as 'reasons to have kids' goes is "they can take care of me when I'm older", that probably means they're not for me. I'll just be Aunt Jen to my friends' kids. Like, I get to rent them for a day. Woo! I could totally handle that.
Do I want to suddenly go traveling? No problem! Do I need to move for a job? No problem! I don't need to worry about a kid every single second (because I know I'd be overprotective)... and, selfish as it may sound...I get to have all this time to work on arts, or learn, or be happy with a dude, or travel, or do whatever I want. I'm not stuck at home taking care of a child. I'm not spending half my paycheck on taking care of a child. I mean, I used to think it was selfish of me to just not want to have a kid...but in reality, I don't think it's a crime that I just have lots of goals in my life that can't possibly involve children.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited May 2009
I guess its one of those "natural population curves" that just happens. I mean, if everyone wanted kids we'd eventually overpopulate (there's a trend that in highly populated city type areas, people don't want to have kids till late in life and only one if any (i remember reading this with japan as the center of the study).
That said, sometimes the "OmG baby!" thing picks up when you least expect it. I know a few girls who vowed they'd never have kids then got married and wanted 3 or more. (their idea, not the husband's)
So... I dunno. One of those mysteries of life I suppose.
Babies are gross, they remind of some sort of alien that got shot out of some sticky alien pod thing in one of those old movies. baby animals though tend to be cute.
I like the later in life scenario. I would prefer to go childless, but who knows. In any case I wouldn't even consider it until I'm in my 30's just for the sake of job stability and getting to actually live a life. The only reason I can think of to have a kid, is to offset all the super religious people having like 6+ kids. Then I can train my kid to question their beliefs and cause them emotional damage which could be fun.
Oh no!
Loom they're eating your cousins in this Finnish travel show Madventures. The first international season will be aired on Travel channel in the US later this year. I recommend this to anyone who's interested in traveling outside the regular tourist locations.
Babies can be cute. Not cute enough for me to want a baby, though.
I have no "OMG NEED TO HAVE CHILD" thing going on in my head, though it seems a couple of people do...like, that's something they're crazy-excited about, can't wait to have a baby. That desire just doesn't exist in my brain. Am I a freak?
I mean, when the only thing I can think of as far as 'reasons to have kids' goes is "they can take care of me when I'm older", that probably means they're not for me. I'll just be Aunt Jen to my friends' kids. Like, I get to rent them for a day. Woo! I could totally handle that.
Do I want to suddenly go traveling? No problem! Do I need to move for a job? No problem! I don't need to worry about a kid every single second (because I know I'd be overprotective)... and, selfish as it may sound...I get to have all this time to work on arts, or learn, or be happy with a dude, or travel, or do whatever I want. I'm not stuck at home taking care of a child. I'm not spending half my paycheck on taking care of a child. I mean, I used to think it was selfish of me to just not want to have a kid...but in reality, I don't think it's a crime that I just have lots of goals in my life that can't possibly involve children.
Babies can be cute. Not cute enough for me to want a baby, though.
I have no "OMG NEED TO HAVE CHILD" thing going on in my head, though it seems a couple of people do...like, that's something they're crazy-excited about, can't wait to have a baby. That desire just doesn't exist in my brain. Am I a freak?
I mean, when the only thing I can think of as far as 'reasons to have kids' goes is "they can take care of me when I'm older", that probably means they're not for me. I'll just be Aunt Jen to my friends' kids. Like, I get to rent them for a day. Woo! I could totally handle that.
Do I want to suddenly go traveling? No problem! Do I need to move for a job? No problem! I don't need to worry about a kid every single second (because I know I'd be overprotective)... and, selfish as it may sound...I get to have all this time to work on arts, or learn, or be happy with a dude, or travel, or do whatever I want. I'm not stuck at home taking care of a child. I'm not spending half my paycheck on taking care of a child. I mean, I used to think it was selfish of me to just not want to have a kid...but in reality, I don't think it's a crime that I just have lots of goals in my life that can't possibly involve children.
Never thought not wanting to have kids was selfish; I mean, I suppose I understand why one might think it, but really, kids just aren't for everyone, and that's that; as was mentioned, for overpopulation's sake, that's probably a good thing. And for the sake of people who get to see more of your artwork for it (that, however, might be selfish, of me, at least). That said, there are a bunch of people who do get to do a lot of awesome art, and have a kid, so I don't think they're always mutually exclusive. Even with overprotectiveness.
Personally, I've always kind of wanted kids (once I get "settled down," I imagine), though I suppose I'm odd like that. Either way, it's still a bit early for me to spend more than passing thoughts on that sort of thing.
Babies can be cute. Not cute enough for me to want a baby, though.
I have no "OMG NEED TO HAVE CHILD" thing going on in my head, though it seems a couple of people do...like, that's something they're crazy-excited about, can't wait to have a baby. That desire just doesn't exist in my brain. Am I a freak?
I mean, when the only thing I can think of as far as 'reasons to have kids' goes is "they can take care of me when I'm older", that probably means they're not for me. I'll just be Aunt Jen to my friends' kids. Like, I get to rent them for a day. Woo! I could totally handle that.
Do I want to suddenly go traveling? No problem! Do I need to move for a job? No problem! I don't need to worry about a kid every single second (because I know I'd be overprotective)... and, selfish as it may sound...I get to have all this time to work on arts, or learn, or be happy with a dude, or travel, or do whatever I want. I'm not stuck at home taking care of a child. I'm not spending half my paycheck on taking care of a child. I mean, I used to think it was selfish of me to just not want to have a kid...but in reality, I don't think it's a crime that I just have lots of goals in my life that can't possibly involve children.
You will. You're still very young.
What, have kids? God, I hope not. I also kinda like the idea that my every decision is not automatically negated due to my age. I hate people saying "oh, you'll have kids! You just haven't met the right guy yet", or "but you're so YOUNG!", or some variant. It's as if my wanting to avoid spending 18+ years of my life raising a child will suddenly fade once I find a guy I like. I mean that statement doesn't even make sense. "I really like this guy" does not equate to "I really like this guy, and want to have a kid with him". I mean it may for some people, but not for me.
If I was making this statement at the age of 15, then yes, okay, I guess "you're still very young" could apply...but it seems like most people generally have kids in their 20's, up to their early 30's. I can't see myself doing a 180 on this within the next 10 years.
I'm sure I'm going to kind of wish that I had kids when I reach 50 or so...but at the end of the day, I just really don't want to dedicate that much time and energy and whatnot into raising a kid. If it was the zombie apocalypse and I was suddenly given somebody else's child, who had nowhere else to go, of course I would have to raise it, and I guess I'd be somewhat okay with the idea in that case, because it's almost as if I wasn't given the choice. If it's up to me, however, I just don't see how it would work. I'll get a dog. That'll be my "kid".
Babies can be cute. Not cute enough for me to want a baby, though.
I have no "OMG NEED TO HAVE CHILD" thing going on in my head, though it seems a couple of people do...like, that's something they're crazy-excited about, can't wait to have a baby. That desire just doesn't exist in my brain. Am I a freak?
I mean, when the only thing I can think of as far as 'reasons to have kids' goes is "they can take care of me when I'm older", that probably means they're not for me. I'll just be Aunt Jen to my friends' kids. Like, I get to rent them for a day. Woo! I could totally handle that.
Do I want to suddenly go traveling? No problem! Do I need to move for a job? No problem! I don't need to worry about a kid every single second (because I know I'd be overprotective)... and, selfish as it may sound...I get to have all this time to work on arts, or learn, or be happy with a dude, or travel, or do whatever I want. I'm not stuck at home taking care of a child. I'm not spending half my paycheck on taking care of a child. I mean, I used to think it was selfish of me to just not want to have a kid...but in reality, I don't think it's a crime that I just have lots of goals in my life that can't possibly involve children.
You will. You're still very young.
What, have kids? God, I hope not. I also kinda like the idea that my every decision is not automatically negated due to my age. I hate people saying "oh, you'll have kids! You just haven't met the right guy yet", or "but you're so YOUNG!", or some variant. It's as if my wanting to avoid spending 18+ years of my life raising a child will suddenly fade once I find a guy I like. I mean that statement doesn't even make sense. "I really like this guy" does not equate to "I really like this guy, and want to have a kid with him". I mean it may for some people, but not for me.
If I was making this statement at the age of 15, then yes, okay, I guess "you're still very young" could apply...but it seems like most people generally have kids in their 20's, up to their early 30's. I can't see myself doing a 180 on this within the next 10 years.
I'm sure I'm going to kind of wish that I had kids when I reach 50 or so...but at the end of the day, I just really don't want to dedicate that much time and energy and whatnot into raising a kid. If it was the zombie apocalypse and I was suddenly given somebody else's child, who had nowhere else to go, of course I would have to raise it, and I guess I'd be somewhat okay with the idea in that case, because it's almost as if I wasn't given the choice. If it's up to me, however, I just don't see how it would work. I'll get a dog. That'll be my "kid".
Yeah, you are talking about this like it's a decision based on logic and what you want to do with your life. It's not.
Yeah, you are talking about this like it's a decision based on logic and what you want to do with your life. It's not.
So, what, are you saying I'm going to suddenly be overwhelmed with the desire to have kids? And that I'll just go with that feeling blindly?
I've seen it happen with tons of my friends as they are reaching 30 years old. They are all wanting to settle down and that biological clock is getting really antsy that they haven't pumped out any kids yet.
And yeah, I understand the idea that meeting a guy you like won't mean that you instantly want to have kids. But you might eventually meet a guy who after some time you'll decide you want to spend the rest of your life with him and start a family. They aren't saying it's going to be an immediate 180, it is a gradual thing, but it's just how those things go.
But mostly I'm just saying that you aren't even out of college yet. You're young and you haven't really experienced how life works yet.
I've got to say, I do get tired of the "you're still young" argument from people. I mean, I tell myself that a lot, so it's not like I think I know everything, but it seems to me like a lot of people use "you're still young" to try to end any discussion on a person's viewpoints: "I don't want kids"--"Well, you're still young"; "I'm a democrat"--"Well, you're still young"; "I don't like golf"--"Well, you're still young"; sure, that may have a bit of truth to it, but there is always the possibility that she really isn't going to change her mind on this one; my aunt never really wanted kids, even into her thirties. I mean, maybe that's not the best example, because she's got a kid now, but that wasn't planned, and she was actually pretty pissed about it at first. Even excepting her, though, there are enough people who never really warm up to the idea of kids that "you're still young" is a kind of condescending thing to say.
I've got to say, I do get tired of the "you're still young" argument from people. I mean, I tell myself that a lot, so it's not like I think I know everything, but it seems to me like a lot of people use "you're still young" to try to end any discussion on a person's viewpoints: "I don't want kids"--"Well, you're still young"; "I'm a democrat"--"Well, you're still young"; "I don't like golf"--"Well, you're still young"; sure, that may have a bit of truth to it, but there is always the possibility that she really isn't going to change her mind on this one; my aunt never really wanted kids, even into her thirties. I mean, maybe that's not the best example, because she's got a kid now, but that wasn't planned, and she was actually pretty pissed about it at first. Even excepting her, though, there are enough people who never really warm up to the idea of kids that "you're still young" is a kind of condescending thing to say.
Except none of what you said applies to the point.
Of course she could keep the same viewpoint. The point of me saying "you're still young" is because she doesn't know. It's just a statement of fact that she hasn't really experienced life post-school, and she hasn't reached that age where a lot of women start really wanting a kid, sometimes very irrationally and in contrast to earlier life goals.
Right, circumstances can change (though really, if changes in circumstances prevented us from making any statements about our life or its plans, there'd be very little we could ever say); I only object to the way you seem to imply that most women who decide not to have kids end up changing their mind around thirty, like a biological alarm clock goes off. I suppose that, and that line, "you're still young," kind of sets me off a little, so do pardon the irrelavent rant.
Right, circumstances can change (though really, if changes in circumstances prevented us from making any statements about our life or its plans, there'd be very little we could ever say); I only object to the way you seem to imply that most women who decide not to have kids end up changing their mind around thirty, like a biological alarm clock goes off.
No, I said I observed that in my friends, and therefore it is something that happens sometimes.
You are really getting defensive about a joke I made to somebody else.
Well, to be perfectly honest, it had much less to do with ND, and much more to do with me not liking that particular phrase, and then trying to save a bit of face and pretend like there was something relavent in my rant.
I mean, not that I don't have a bit of a schoolboy crush on ND (I'm not really revealing anything new here, am I?), but I'd at least like to think I'd have had the same response if you'd said it to someone else.
Basically, I tend to agree with what craw's said, especially in how the "too young" thing feels kind of condescending. Also I can't see how the whole "post-school" life is going to be radically different for me...and really, even when I do reach the "a lot of women start wanting kids" age, I still don't see myself changing my mind. My feelings about this aren't passing whims that I'm generally apathetic about - I feel pretty strongly about this. I wouldn't have a kid unless it meant I really wanted to have one, and that my life was set up in such a way that would give them a good life. Saying that I'll change my mind in 8 years or so because the biological clock is ticking would mean that I completely abandon firmly-held beliefs that I've had for a number of years. Raising a child is a huge freakin' commitment, and despite being a mere 22 years of age, I'm pretty positive right now that it's not something I want to throw away my life dreams for.
And frankly, I don't really feel that people are defending me as much as they're just disagreeing with your reasoning, as I am.
The "you're still young" argument is dumb. But NAC is right in that an outlook developed purely during years in school is not enough to determine the outlook for the rest of your life. Your priorities start to change once you're not interacting almost exclusively with people your own age, of similar opinion, or familial status (and, let us be honest that your friends and peers in college are already a very select group, i.e. college-going, mostly young, capable of affording college, and often with similar outlooks to your own which enforce your own belief in the unshakability of your current outlook).
I'm only 23, and people have applied the "you're still young" argument to me as well. The thing is, I have been working and living on my own and my understanding of how the world worked when I graduated with my degree in 2007 and what it is now has changed in many ways. I was right about some things, but there were just as many things that I couldn't have realized that I was wrong about until I started actually living my life.
Anyway, there's no point in arguing about it. If ND wants kids some day then it's not like she lost some game, though some might want to say they told her so. Outlooks aren't permanent, and they shouldn't be regarded as such. It's hard for a person to grow when they cling too tightly to these things.
Also, my little leaguers won last night, 17-4, woot!
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I hate you Tam.
I have no "OMG NEED TO HAVE CHILD" thing going on in my head, though it seems a couple of people do...like, that's something they're crazy-excited about, can't wait to have a baby. That desire just doesn't exist in my brain. Am I a freak?
I mean, when the only thing I can think of as far as 'reasons to have kids' goes is "they can take care of me when I'm older", that probably means they're not for me. I'll just be Aunt Jen to my friends' kids. Like, I get to rent them for a day. Woo! I could totally handle that.
Do I want to suddenly go traveling? No problem! Do I need to move for a job? No problem! I don't need to worry about a kid every single second (because I know I'd be overprotective)... and, selfish as it may sound...I get to have all this time to work on arts, or learn, or be happy with a dude, or travel, or do whatever I want. I'm not stuck at home taking care of a child. I'm not spending half my paycheck on taking care of a child. I mean, I used to think it was selfish of me to just not want to have a kid...but in reality, I don't think it's a crime that I just have lots of goals in my life that can't possibly involve children.
That said, sometimes the "OmG baby!" thing picks up when you least expect it. I know a few girls who vowed they'd never have kids then got married and wanted 3 or more. (their idea, not the husband's)
So... I dunno. One of those mysteries of life I suppose.
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Loom they're eating your cousins in this Finnish travel show Madventures. The first international season will be aired on Travel channel in the US later this year. I recommend this to anyone who's interested in traveling outside the regular tourist locations.
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You will. You're still very young.
a cousin to your species, silly
Never thought not wanting to have kids was selfish; I mean, I suppose I understand why one might think it, but really, kids just aren't for everyone, and that's that; as was mentioned, for overpopulation's sake, that's probably a good thing. And for the sake of people who get to see more of your artwork for it (that, however, might be selfish, of me, at least). That said, there are a bunch of people who do get to do a lot of awesome art, and have a kid, so I don't think they're always mutually exclusive. Even with overprotectiveness.
Personally, I've always kind of wanted kids (once I get "settled down," I imagine), though I suppose I'm odd like that. Either way, it's still a bit early for me to spend more than passing thoughts on that sort of thing.
What, have kids? God, I hope not. I also kinda like the idea that my every decision is not automatically negated due to my age. I hate people saying "oh, you'll have kids! You just haven't met the right guy yet", or "but you're so YOUNG!", or some variant. It's as if my wanting to avoid spending 18+ years of my life raising a child will suddenly fade once I find a guy I like. I mean that statement doesn't even make sense. "I really like this guy" does not equate to "I really like this guy, and want to have a kid with him". I mean it may for some people, but not for me.
If I was making this statement at the age of 15, then yes, okay, I guess "you're still very young" could apply...but it seems like most people generally have kids in their 20's, up to their early 30's. I can't see myself doing a 180 on this within the next 10 years.
I'm sure I'm going to kind of wish that I had kids when I reach 50 or so...but at the end of the day, I just really don't want to dedicate that much time and energy and whatnot into raising a kid. If it was the zombie apocalypse and I was suddenly given somebody else's child, who had nowhere else to go, of course I would have to raise it, and I guess I'd be somewhat okay with the idea in that case, because it's almost as if I wasn't given the choice. If it's up to me, however, I just don't see how it would work. I'll get a dog. That'll be my "kid".
Yeah, you are talking about this like it's a decision based on logic and what you want to do with your life. It's not.
So, what, are you saying I'm going to suddenly be overwhelmed with the desire to have kids? And that I'll just go with that feeling blindly?
edit: OOPS WRONG THREAD!!
I've seen it happen with tons of my friends as they are reaching 30 years old. They are all wanting to settle down and that biological clock is getting really antsy that they haven't pumped out any kids yet.
And yeah, I understand the idea that meeting a guy you like won't mean that you instantly want to have kids. But you might eventually meet a guy who after some time you'll decide you want to spend the rest of your life with him and start a family. They aren't saying it's going to be an immediate 180, it is a gradual thing, but it's just how those things go.
But mostly I'm just saying that you aren't even out of college yet. You're young and you haven't really experienced how life works yet.
oh shit
see ya
Except none of what you said applies to the point.
Of course she could keep the same viewpoint. The point of me saying "you're still young" is because she doesn't know. It's just a statement of fact that she hasn't really experienced life post-school, and she hasn't reached that age where a lot of women start really wanting a kid, sometimes very irrationally and in contrast to earlier life goals.
No, I said I observed that in my friends, and therefore it is something that happens sometimes.
You are really getting defensive about a joke I made to somebody else.
And pardon my defensiveness, it's the biological clock, you see.
I mean, not that I don't have a bit of a schoolboy crush on ND (I'm not really revealing anything new here, am I?), but I'd at least like to think I'd have had the same response if you'd said it to someone else.
EDIT: *sigh*...+$0.05...
Basically, I tend to agree with what craw's said, especially in how the "too young" thing feels kind of condescending. Also I can't see how the whole "post-school" life is going to be radically different for me...and really, even when I do reach the "a lot of women start wanting kids" age, I still don't see myself changing my mind. My feelings about this aren't passing whims that I'm generally apathetic about - I feel pretty strongly about this. I wouldn't have a kid unless it meant I really wanted to have one, and that my life was set up in such a way that would give them a good life. Saying that I'll change my mind in 8 years or so because the biological clock is ticking would mean that I completely abandon firmly-held beliefs that I've had for a number of years. Raising a child is a huge freakin' commitment, and despite being a mere 22 years of age, I'm pretty positive right now that it's not something I want to throw away my life dreams for.
And frankly, I don't really feel that people are defending me as much as they're just disagreeing with your reasoning, as I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway...
I'm only 23, and people have applied the "you're still young" argument to me as well. The thing is, I have been working and living on my own and my understanding of how the world worked when I graduated with my degree in 2007 and what it is now has changed in many ways. I was right about some things, but there were just as many things that I couldn't have realized that I was wrong about until I started actually living my life.
Anyway, there's no point in arguing about it. If ND wants kids some day then it's not like she lost some game, though some might want to say they told her so. Outlooks aren't permanent, and they shouldn't be regarded as such. It's hard for a person to grow when they cling too tightly to these things.
Also, my little leaguers won last night, 17-4, woot!
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Well, she'd better not have any kids before 32 because I happen to have $50 riding on that bet.
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