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D&D ADVENTURES! [NSFW or 56k]

WinkyWinky Registered User regular
edited December 2009 in Debate and/or Discourse
So, Irond Will okayed this thread, so I will cautiously attempt it.

I recently came into knowledge of mspaintadventures (done by our very own S_O) and found it to be overwhelmingly enjoyable. I thought "Well Winky, you couldn't quite make your own Problem Sleuth, but something like Jailbreak isn't impossible!" So here I am, making our very own D&D adventure! I'll set aside the first few posts to chronicle where we've gotten so far from my postings in the [chat] thread, then I'll start taking suggestions for the next command. I think I'm just going to go ahead and cherry-pick which suggestion I want to take.

abby1.jpg?t=1259718691

You are ABDHYIUS. You are pretty good at RISK. You are a GUY. I don't really remember anything else right now, maybe it will come to me. I mean, you've been around a while.

You have woken up in a STRANGE ROOM. It was not the same STRANGE ROOM that you went to sleep in.

What will you do?
Nerdgasmic wrote: »
-->inspect PEOPLES' COCK SAMPLER

peoplescock.jpg

You inspect the PEOPLES' COCK SAMPLER.

It is a box, inside of which is a SICKLE and a COCK. There is a sheet of glass covering it.
Nerdgasmic wrote: »
--> Leave strange room.

strangeroom2.jpg

You exit the STRANGE ROOM.

You enter a STRANGER ROOM.

There is a DOOR. There is a COMPUTER. There is also a PICTURE OF THANATOS.
Nerdgasmic wrote: »
-->Read door inscription.

You attempt to read the DOOR INSCRIPTION
illiterate.jpg

You recall that you are ILLITERATE.
Nerdgasmic wrote: »
--> Read SIMPLE ENGLISH WIKIPEDIA on the computer

blankcomputer.jpg?t=1259721755

The COMPUTER is not on.
---> Shake computer in rage until you throw it against the wall.

shakecomputer.jpg
computerthrown.jpg

Incensed by the failure of your public education system, and inspired by the PICTURE OF THANATOS, you lift the COMPUTER over your head and SHAKE VIGOROUSLY.

You then throw the COMPUTER into the next room.

There is a LOUD NOISE, but due to your ILLITERACY you are not able to read what it is.
Can I insert my penis in something that is in the room?

emptyinventory.jpg

There is a CRESCENT-SHAPED HOLE in the PICTURE OF THANATOS.

However, there is no PENIS in your INVENTORY.

You recall seeing a COCK in the STRANGE ROOM.

Winky on
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Posts

  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Go back to STRANGE room, break glass, and remove COCK.
    --> PUT COCK in MOUTH to see what it tastes like.

    getcock.jpg

    You enter the STRANGE ROOM. The COMPUTER seems to have broken the glass on the PEOPLES' COCK SAMPLER. The COMPUTER is now ON. FREECELL is running.

    You reach up and obtain the COCK.

    eatcock.jpg

    You place the COCK in your MOUTH for safe keeping.

    It tastes FAMILIAR.
    --> Take SICKLE and store in ANUS. You never know when you might need a sickle for fighting CAPITALISTS.

    capitalists.jpg

    You obtain the SICKLE. You are about to store it in your ANUS, but you are interrupted!

    Suddenly, you are accosted by CAPITALISTS!

    The surprise almost makes you CHOKE on your COCK!
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    -->Engage with the bourgeoisie dogmen

    dogman.jpg

    As if ALAN GREENSPAN and ADAM SMITH weren't bad enough, a BOURGEOISIE DOGMAN attempts to flank you!

    attackdogman.jpg

    You raise your SICKLE to strike the BOURGEOISIE DOGMAN, but he FLEES.
    TheExAm wrote: »
    -> Attack using the FLEAS left by the BOURGEOISIE DOGMAN

    fleece.jpg

    You attempt to ATTACK using the FLEECE left by the BOURGEOISIE DOGMAN. It is NOT EFFECTIVE.
    --> Wave cock around in a twirling motion to scare away capitalist.

    cockwave.jpg

    You remove the COCK from your MOUTH and WAVE IT MENACINGLY.

    The CAPITALISTS are INTIMIDATED. They FLEE.

    Winky on
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> CHARGE the CAPITALISTS, PENIS in ONE HAND, SICKLE in the OTHER HAND

    dualweild.jpg

    The CAPITALIST have FLED. You VIGOROUSLY SHAKE the COCK and SICKLE just to make sure they won't come back.
    -->FOLLOW the CAPITALISTS to FIND THE WAY OUT

    strangeroomotherside.jpg

    You change the CAMERA ANGLE to see where the CAPITALISTS went. It appears that they ESCAPED by climbing on the BACKS OF THE WORKING CLASS. You refuse to follow in their footsteps.
    --> HELP the WORKING CLASS to their FEET and ASK them to HELP MOVING the SAFE under the WINDOW

    communicationproblem.jpg

    You attempt to ASK the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN to HELP MOVE the SAFE. However, you are unable to communicate with them due to your ILLITERACY.

    Damn the CAPITALISTS for what they did to the PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM.
    PUT IT IN MY MOUTH

    workingclasssensibilities.jpg

    You place the COCK back in your MOUTH. This UPSETS the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN and their OLD-FASHIONED WORKING CLASS SENSIBILITIES.

    a safe

    full of cocks

    safe.jpg

    You do not know the CONTENTS of the SAFE.

    Though you admit it is very possible the SAFE is full of COCKS.
    Quid wrote: »
    TheExAm wrote: »
    --> Attempt to OPEN SAFE

    ---> FUCK THAT OPEn SAFE

    safeopening.jpg

    You set the SAFE from LOCKED to UNLOCKED. You then OPEN the SAFE.

    fuckingsafe.jpg

    With your MOUTH still full of COCK, you begin to FUCK that OPEN SAFE.

    The MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN look on in SURPRISE and CONSTERNATION.
    Winky wrote: »
    The MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN look on in SURPRISE and CONSTERNATION.

    Check what's in the safe before you ejaculate all over it. If it's nothing of apparent value, finish up and distribute it to the working class. It's only fair, right?

    literacy.jpg

    You find LITERACY! With your new education, you realize that FUCKING the OPEN SAFE was a horrible idea, and you CEASE IMMEDIATELY.

    Winky on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Teach the mustachio'd men literacy, in order to form an educated middle class that will foment a communist revolution!

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Now, anyone can feel free to submit command suggestions. I'll pick whichever one I like the most.

    Winky on
  • CorbiusCorbius Shepard Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Look in the open safe, to see if there is anything in it you can fuck.

    Corbius on
    wrexsig1.jpg
    PSN: Corbius
  • ProPatriaMoriProPatriaMori Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Search the VANITY in the STRANGE ROOM

    ProPatriaMori on
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Teach the mustachio'd men literacy, in order to form an educated middle class that will foment a communist revolution!

    communicationproblem2.jpg

    It appears that the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN are still incomprehensible to you. It is possible they are speaking a FOREIGN LANGUAGE.

    They are also VERY UPSET by your many displays of SODOMY.

    Winky on
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck (♡°◡°) Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> force the men into the safe at cock- and sickle-point

    skippydumptruck on
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    oh god. i didn't realize i was contributing to a game.

    i was just blurting things out incoherently. that is fantastic.

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2009
    --> RENAME SELF to KAKOS because I am now a COCK AND SICKLE WIELDING COMMUNIST REVOLUTIONARY
    --> GROW BEARD
    --> GO BALD
    --> :(

    Premier kakos on
    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Search the VANITY in the STRANGE ROOM

    foudnmustachecomb.jpg

    You SEARCH the VANITY and find a FINE MUSTACHE COMB. You place it in your INVENTORY next to your FLEECE.

    Winky on
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> express alarm at what appears to be the obese aardvark floating over your head

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • CorbiusCorbius Shepard Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Offer the comb to the fine mustached working men, in hopes to gain their trust.

    Corbius on
    wrexsig1.jpg
    PSN: Corbius
  • NeoTomaNeoToma Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --->Build a littlle Empire out of (some crazy garbage called) the Blood of The Explioted Working Class

    NeoToma on
  • ProPatriaMoriProPatriaMori Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Ooo!

    --> Attempt to PACIFY the MIGRANT WORKERS by OFFERING the MUSTACHE COMB.

    ProPatriaMori on
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck (♡°◡°) Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> use the FINE MUSTACHE COMB on the FLEECE to create a PILE OF SMALL FLEECE BALLS. strike the SICKLE on the SAFE to produce a SPARK, and threaten the men with your FIRE

    --> regret not putting the COCK and BALLS together.

    skippydumptruck on
  • TheExAmTheExAm Gerrymandered your districts Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    >> Return to the STRANGER ROOM and examine the DOOR SIGN

    TheExAm on
    6Jx6HOg.png
    Battlemans: DiscoCabbage | Elite: Dangerous: Aleksandr Khabaj
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> RENAME SELF to KAKOS because I am now a COCK AND SICKLE WIELDING COMMUNIST REVOLUTIONARY
    --> GROW BEARD
    --> GO BALD
    --> :(

    It occurs to you that PREMIER KAKOS would know just what to do in this situation. If only you could CONTACT HIM, so that he might BECOME A PLAYABLE CHARACTER and HELP YOU OUT.

    Winky on
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2009
    --> SUMMON PREMIER KAKOS by FELLATING THE COCK OF THE PEOPLE

    Premier kakos on
    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> SUMMON PREMIER KAKOS by FELLATING THE COCK OF THE PEOPLE

    The cock of the people is already in the people's mouth.

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • ProPatriaMoriProPatriaMori Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> SUMMON PREMIER KAKOS by FELLATING THE COCK OF THE PEOPLE

    Dude's been fellating it since he threw the computer at the case. I don't think that's how the cock works.

    ProPatriaMori on
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2009
    wazilla wrote: »
    --> SUMMON PREMIER KAKOS by FELLATING THE COCK OF THE PEOPLE

    The cock of the people is already in the people's mouth.

    But it's not being properly fellated. Proper summoning of PREMIER KAKOS requires a vigorous back and forth motion along with lots of sucking and a few long and sensual licks.

    Premier kakos on
    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck (♡°◡°) Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> SUMMON PREMIER KAKOS by FELLATING THE COCK OF THE PEOPLE

    Dude's been fellating it since he threw the computer at the case. I don't think that's how the cock works.

    unless he means people like, fellate those migrant workers

    in which case, I don't know if he can really do 4 at a time

    skippydumptruck on
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009

    --> Attempt to PACIFY the MIGRANT WORKERS by OFFERING the MUSTACHE COMB.

    communicationproblem3.jpg

    You attempt to PACIFY the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN by OFFERING the FINE MUSTACHE COMB.

    However, they take your gesture as an AFFRONT! They interpret your OFFER of FINE MUSTACHE COMB as implying that their MUSTACHES are POORLY KEPT. As you cannot TALK to them, you have no way of PLACATING them.

    The MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN raise their HAIRY MIGRANT WORKING CLASS FISTS in RIGHTEOUS ANGER.

    Winky on
  • DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    discover a large bottle of the peoples vodka.

    there is a cock on the label.

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck (♡°◡°) Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> SHIT YOURSELF in FEAR

    skippydumptruck on
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> There is no spoon

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • ProPatriaMoriProPatriaMori Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> FIRE the COCK at the nearest MIGRANT WORKER and RETREAT to the STRANGER ROOM

    ProPatriaMori on
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    wazilla wrote: »
    --> SUMMON PREMIER KAKOS by FELLATING THE COCK OF THE PEOPLE

    The cock of the people is already in the people's mouth.

    But it's not being properly fellated. Proper summoning of PREMIER KAKOS requires a vigorous back and forth motion along with lots of sucking and a few long and sensual licks.

    communicationproblem4.jpg

    You FELLATE the COCK for many HOURS, attempting every FELLATIO TECHNIQUE you know. NOTHING HAPPENS. It occurs to you that you may need AN INDIVIDUAL OF MUCH HIGHER FELLATIO LEVEL in order to properly PLEASE the COCK.

    Meanwhile, the MUSTACHIOED MIGRANT WORKING CLASS MEN are SHAKING in UNCONSTRAINED RAGE.

    Winky on
  • QuidQuid I don't... what... hnnng Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PLACATE THE MEn

    Quid on
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck (♡°◡°) Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> PROMOTE SYNERGY (like a boss)

    skippydumptruck on
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    --> Realize that you have been incredibly selfish with the people's cock. Offer the people's cock to the Mustachioed Migrant Working Class Men while smiling and giving them a thumbs up.

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • skippydumptruckskippydumptruck (♡°◡°) Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    or like a jefe, as the case may be

    skippydumptruck on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Winky wrote: »
    It occurs to you that you may need AN INDIVIDUAL OF MUCH HIGHER FELLATIO LEVEL in order to properly PLEASE the COCK.

    > Yell for CASUAL EDDY

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Ahh nevermind.

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD along with you if I get drunk well I know I'm gonna be gonna be the man whoRegistered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Hey don't put words in my mouth, it's already full of cock.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Don't despair. Not even over the fact that you don't despair.Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    IM READY

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    tyrannus wrote: »
    Casual Eddy: best poster of 2015

    gotta update that stuff man
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Feral wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    It occurs to you that you may need AN INDIVIDUAL OF MUCH HIGHER FELLATIO LEVEL in order to properly PLEASE the COCK.

    > Yell for CASUAL EDDY

    It occurs to you that there may be a DEVICE that you would commonly USE in order to COMMUNICATE WITH FORUMERS. Like some sort of FORUMER COMMUNICATING DEVICE.

    Winky on
  • wazillawazilla Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Winky wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    It occurs to you that you may need AN INDIVIDUAL OF MUCH HIGHER FELLATIO LEVEL in order to properly PLEASE the COCK.

    > Yell for CASUAL EDDY

    It occurs to you that there may be a DEVICE that you would commonly USE in order to COMMUNICATE WITH FORUMERS. Like some sort of FORUMER COMMUNICATING DEVICE.

    We're giving it all the fellatio we've got captain!

    wazilla on
    Psn:wazukki
  • Premier kakosPremier kakos Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2009
    --> RUN to the COMPUTER, CLOSE FREECELL, GO to [url]HTTP://FORUMS.PENNY-ARCADE.COM/FORUMDISPLAY.PHP?F=20[/url] and REQUEST PREMIER KAKOS COME IMMEDIATELY

    Premier kakos on
    SuperKawaiiWillSig.jpg
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