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A bunch of social misfits walk into a forum
Kusuguttai
__BANNED USERS regular
__BANNED USERS regular
This is a joke thread.
A terrible, terrible joke thread.
Let me get this shitstorm brewing:
Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
An irishman walks out of a bar.
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says "I want some chapstic and put it on my bill"
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Did you know that deer don't have uncles? They just have AUNTlers!
This is a thread for laffy taffy style jokes.
And others. I don't really care. Make everyone else laugh.
A terrible, terrible joke thread.
Let me get this shitstorm brewing:
Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
He didn't have any body to go with!
Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!
An irishman walks out of a bar.
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says "I want some chapstic and put it on my bill"
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
See you next month!
Did you know that deer don't have uncles? They just have AUNTlers!
This is a thread for laffy taffy style jokes.
And others. I don't really care. Make everyone else laugh.
Kusuguttai on
0
Posts
wait, shit
They're not black
And they're not people!
the thread he makes was made very recently before by another poster
it sucks
putin personally sets his dick on fire.
So I've been thinking of going back to school to become a doctor. I wanna get a job in one of those abortion clinics
I hear you can really make a killing
all that needs to be said
every time
i have to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4LdP2Ii_3Q
hitting hot metal with hammers
not successfully though huh
no
same
I hear it's really good
my friend told me the pacing could use a bit of work, but that they casted it really well.
They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
The father is soon incarcerated. He has been charged with manslaughter and found guilty. He knows that there is nothing beyond the prison bars and begins to research his own demise.
After several weeks of feigning severe psychosis and homicidal tendencies, it is decided that he is to be executed within a few months by electric chair. This is what the man has been waiting for; an end to this parade of madness and infinite anguish.
When the time comes to die, he is given his final meal. He eats a rosemary chicken, hoping it would taste like the ones his wife used to cook. Unfortunately, as expected, it does not. The meat is both bland and unsavory.
He is forced onto the electric chair and strapped in. It bothers him that there is a piece of chicken stuck between his teeth, which have shriveled and rotted after years of poor maintenance. His throat is dry and he has a sudden pang of thirst to finish what would have been his final glass of water.
As the priest reads to him his final prayers, he suddenly begins to sob uncontrollably. He mourns for his family, who he failed to protect and nurture. He is ashamed by the pain he has caused during his job as a train operator. He thinks back to the time when he was a child, where he sat in a field of soft grass and heard his mother calling in the distance.
A voice calls to his attention. "Any last words?" says the executioner.
The man bleakly stares into the incandescent light bulb which illuminates his throne of death like the halo of the supreme being, casting judgment upon his soul.
"No." says the man, surprised by his own voice. It was frail, and papery, like the rustle of litter being cast aside on a sidewalk.
"Very well." A loud noise emanates within the room as a switch is pulled. The man's constraints tug at his atrophied limbs and worn skin. He clenches his eyes and cries until tears trickle down into his mouth. His last sensation would be the taste of his own cowardice. There is silence which seems to resonate for an eternity.
But then, the man realizes that he has yet to die;
he was a poor conductor.
and report any and all shinanigans to authorities
I am quite sure they will take each report seriously, so remember to burn down the building after you say it is on fire.
The doctor says, "well, first of all you're not eating right."
He buys the materials, builds the grill, and it's beautiful. But he winds up with one brick leftover. Afraid his wife will be angry, and not knowing what to do with it, he throws the brick into the air.
how do you confuse a blonde
turn green and throw toasters at her
e: then the dog brings the brick back shut up GeoMitch get better jokes
Edit: dammit
After the plane lands, the nun is relieved to see the chimp is calmly sitting on the wing of the plane. The man yells, "Is that my cigar in his hand?" but when he looked closer it was just the brick.
They search the box together, but it isn't there. "Its got to be here somewhere" the ion exclaims. The two of them get down to business searching all over the bar. They look under tables, stools, and overturn the bathroom. The ion is insistent that it will be found there somewhere, but the bartender has grown doubtful.
"Are you sure you lost an electron?" He asks, finally.
"Yes, I'm positive."
edit: OH DAMN! It all came together!