The Contest - A question

Framling

Shiosai wrote:

sarukun wrote:

A) bad thread.


B) Every retard knows it is absolutely no sexual gratification of any kind, be it involving another person, or doing it yourself.

A) Intentional.

B) Hold it! I would like you to consider that an active sex life might put one at a disadvantage in a masturbation contest.

Well, if the rules disqualify you for any orgasm, yeah, I could see having sex being something of a disadvantage. At least, in terms of winning the contest.

sarukun

Drez wrote:

sarukun wrote:

Drez wrote:

Defender wrote:

Drez wrote:

designMcGee wrote:

why do people like Seinfeld?

I'd like to know this as well. Let's hijack this in the name of Seinfeld bashing.

Are you going to fault him for telling jokes ten years ago that you don't find funny today?

Huh? I didn't find them funny ten years ago, either. I admit the show had its quirks. I really enjoyed Jason Alexander on it. But c'mon. I read Jerry's stand-up one-liners book and it's the goddamn dumbest piece of shit "comedy" I've ever had the unfortunate displeasure to scan with my eyes.

What you are basically saying is that you don't like mashed potatoes.


Well, dude, some people like mashed potatoes.

Jerry is not mashed potatoes. He's more like, I dunno, brussel sprouts.

Some people like brussel sprouts.


I actually do not think they are all that bad.

sarukun

Shiosai wrote:

sarukun wrote:

"The contest" was not a masturbation contest. It was a "no sexual gratification" contest.

No it wasn't. If you watched the episode or read the wiki link you would know this.

Also, what did you guys do for prizes? I mean what's a good enough thing to win that's worth trying in this contest, but isn't too god dammed expensive?

I did watch the episode. I'm positive they had a discussion about sexual encounters outside of maturbation and whether they were allowed.

Drez

sarukun wrote:

Drez wrote:

sarukun wrote:

Drez wrote:

Defender wrote:

Drez wrote:

designMcGee wrote:

why do people like Seinfeld?

I'd like to know this as well. Let's hijack this in the name of Seinfeld bashing.

Are you going to fault him for telling jokes ten years ago that you don't find funny today?

Huh? I didn't find them funny ten years ago, either. I admit the show had its quirks. I really enjoyed Jason Alexander on it. But c'mon. I read Jerry's stand-up one-liners book and it's the goddamn dumbest piece of shit "comedy" I've ever had the unfortunate displeasure to scan with my eyes.

What you are basically saying is that you don't like mashed potatoes.


Well, dude, some people like mashed potatoes.

Jerry is not mashed potatoes. He's more like, I dunno, brussel sprouts.

Some people like brussel sprouts.


I actually do not think they are all that bad.

Some people do. Most people do not.

However, everyone loves mashed potatoes. Anyone that doesn't should immediately die.

Do you see, now, why your analogy was a complete failure and that you should probably die along with anyone that doesn't like mashed potatoes?

Do you? Do you?!?!

Shiosai

Framling wrote:

Well, if the rules disqualify you for any orgasm, yeah, I could see having sex being something of a disadvantage. At least, in terms of winning the contest.

Good idea :^:

sarukun wrote:

I did watch the episode. I'm positive they had a discussion about sexual encounters outside of maturbation and whether they were allowed.

Eh, watch it again (I linked it in the first post). It doesn't state those guidelines, which is the source of my quandary.

Defender

sarukun wrote:

Volucrisus Aedrius wrote:

Yeah I wasn't a big fan of Jerry Seinfeld all that much myself. Mostly I liked the eccentric third party characters.

Pretty much everyone on the show except for Jerry was one of those people.

Jerry did some weird, neurotic shit as well.

Monkeybomb

I say we do this contest and start right now because my girlfriend's period just started. So I'm in it for a couple of days anyway.

No, I don't like bloody menses sex.

Fallout

i lose if i have to think of shiosai every time i think of the contest :oops:

AHH!

I've gone 3 days once

I needed about 4 tissues

sarukun

Drez wrote:

sarukun wrote:

Drez wrote:

sarukun wrote:

Drez wrote:

Defender wrote:

Drez wrote:

designMcGee wrote:

why do people like Seinfeld?

I'd like to know this as well. Let's hijack this in the name of Seinfeld bashing.

Are you going to fault him for telling jokes ten years ago that you don't find funny today?

Huh? I didn't find them funny ten years ago, either. I admit the show had its quirks. I really enjoyed Jason Alexander on it. But c'mon. I read Jerry's stand-up one-liners book and it's the goddamn dumbest piece of shit "comedy" I've ever had the unfortunate displeasure to scan with my eyes.

What you are basically saying is that you don't like mashed potatoes.


Well, dude, some people like mashed potatoes.

Jerry is not mashed potatoes. He's more like, I dunno, brussel sprouts.

Some people like brussel sprouts.


I actually do not think they are all that bad.

Some people do. Most people do not.

However, everyone loves mashed potatoes. Anyone that doesn't should immediately die.

Do you see, now, why your analogy was a complete failure and that you should probably die along with anyone that doesn't like mashed potatoes?

Do you? Do you?!?!

The analogy was sound in that some people like mashed potatoes, and others do not.

But you're right that anyone that doesn't like mashed potates is probably a hippie and needs to die.

Rankenphile

Monkeybomb wrote:

I say we do this contest and start right now because my girlfriend's period just started. So I'm in it for a couple of days anyway.

No, I don't like bloody menses sex.

what are you monkey

mormon?

Ronjon

Rankenphile wrote:

Monkeybomb wrote:

I say we do this contest and start right now because my girlfriend's period just started. So I'm in it for a couple of days anyway.

No, I don't like bloody menses sex.

what are you monkey

mormon?

it's just like fucking a raw steak, it's manly.

sarukun

Shiosai wrote:

Framling wrote:

Well, if the rules disqualify you for any orgasm, yeah, I could see having sex being something of a disadvantage. At least, in terms of winning the contest.

Good idea :^:

sarukun wrote:

I did watch the episode. I'm positive they had a discussion about sexual encounters outside of maturbation and whether they were allowed.

Eh, watch it again (I linked it in the first post). It doesn't state those guidelines, which is the source of my quandary.

Damn.


That concerns me, because I can see George, Elaine, Kramer, and Jerry conversing about the specifics of the contest, and I now have no idea where that memory comes from.

Jordyn

yeah let's do this contest the week of Valentine's Day.

Sorry hon, not tonight.

I have to win an internet contest.

sarukun

Defender wrote:

sarukun wrote:

Volucrisus Aedrius wrote:

Yeah I wasn't a big fan of Jerry Seinfeld all that much myself. Mostly I liked the eccentric third party characters.

Pretty much everyone on the show except for Jerry was one of those people.

Jerry did some weird, neurotic shit as well.

Yeah, but he didn't really have a gimmick.


He had the "What's the deal with etc.", but that's mostly his stand-up persona.

I guess Elain didn't *really* have a gimmick either, but pretty much every other character on the show did.

Pojaco

I went a month once, it hurt.

Also, has anyone tried to calculate how many times they think they've done it in their entire lives?

I come up with about 4,500 :oops:

sarukun

Pojaco wrote:

I went a month once, it hurt.

Also, has anyone tried to calculate how many times they think they've done it in their entire lives?

I come up with about 4,500 :oops:

Why would you do that?


That's like trying to figure out how many times you ordered pizza?


Who cares, the real question is, when's the NEXT time I order pizza?

Darth Waiter

Pojaco wrote:

I went a month once, it hurt.

Also, has anyone tried to calculate how many times they think they've done it in their entire lives?

I come up with about 4,500 :oops:

I'm looking at an average of once a day for 17 years which comes to 6,205. I'm a goddamned machine.

edit: sarukun, I'll be "ordering pizza" tonight.

Pojaco

Darth Waiter wrote:

Pojaco wrote:

I went a month once, it hurt.

Also, has anyone tried to calculate how many times they think they've done it in their entire lives?

I come up with about 4,500 :oops:

I'm looking at an average of once a day for 17 years which comes to 6,205. I'm a goddamned machine.

I like to do this with beer too

Starfuck

i've been jacking off since most of you were in diapers

sarukun

Starfuck wrote:

i've been jacking off since most of you were in diapers

There's an "Orca Stacks" joke in there some where.


Damn, now I really want to eat pizza and masturbate.

Darkblade_1

Jordyn I need something odd and random to do with your sig..

I think I'm gunna make his thumbs fire into the air like little rockets..

Darth Waiter

Starfuck wrote:

i've been jacking off since most of you were in diapers

I was having the same thought, except "in diapers" changes to "in the womb."

Framling

Starfuck wrote:

i've been jacking off since most of you were in diapers

That's... just... the way you phrased that...

it uh.... it sounded...

nevermind.

Rankenphile

Framling wrote:

Starfuck wrote:

i've been jacking off since most of you were in diapers

That's... just... the way you phrased that...

it uh.... it sounded...

nevermind.

okay, good

I wasn't the only one

Janson

Shiosai was your timing with this contest prompted by my ex

Drez

I've masturbated approximately 18,250 times in the last 10 years.

Defender

Drez wrote:

On average, I've masturbated 18,250 times in the last 10 years.

How is that an average?

Rankenphile

off the top of my head, I'd guess that I've probably jerked it a buttload

Drez

Defender wrote:

Drez wrote:

On average, I've masturbated 18,250 times in the last 10 years.

How is that an average?

I was just coming to edit that but I was busy masturbating.

sarukun

Defender wrote:

Drez wrote:

On average, I've masturbated 18,250 times in the last 10 years.

How is that an average?

He meant "rough estimate".

Defender

sarukun wrote:

Defender wrote:

Drez wrote:

On average, I've masturbated 18,250 times in the last 10 years.

How is that an average?

He meant "rough estimate".

OK.

Drez

sarukun wrote:

Defender wrote:

Drez wrote:

On average, I've masturbated 18,250 times in the last 10 years.

How is that an average?

He meant "rough estimate".

Yeah. Emphasis on "rough." Because that's how I like it.

Defender

Jerkin' it rough
Makin' it into rawhide

sarukun

Defender wrote:

all jerkin' it rough
all makin' it into basically rawhide

Roast Beef'd

Defender

sarukun wrote:

Defender wrote:

all jerkin' it rough
all makin' it into basically rawhide

Roast Beef'd

Nice.

Dynagrip

Shiosai wrote:

Ok, most people have seen this classic episode of Seinfeld and know exactly what I'm talking about. For the people who don't know, there's even a wiki article on it.

So I seem to recall this forum (I can't remember if it was SE++ or D&D) had this contest though the search feature has failed me and perhaps the thread was pruned or my variables suck.

At any rate, I was planning on creating this contest with some friends of mine, but we noticed the episode is unclear on how sex factors in. Does an active sex life disqualify you from the contest, or does sex != masturbation and hence fit into a different realm entirely.

For this question, I decided I must consult the denizens of SE++

D&D had one. I didn't enter.

Carl with a K

i love seinfeld