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What do I do next with this girl I like from class?
john392
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Ok so I met this pretty girl in class. One class she kept giving me the eyes, so I started talking to her after class and then walking to her next one. Yesterday I asked her to eat lunch with on campus today, she said yes and got her #.
She showed up right on time and well, it went about as average as it could have possibly gone. After the somewhat awkward 'find a seat, part ways to get food', we had a fairly good conversation. Nothing too mundane, told her she looked nice, tried to keep it as fun as I could and got her to talk about herself, and she seemed like she was having a good time, She said it was good seeing me, and I said we should do it again soon, smiled and we both said bye. Still never mentioned a bf, so she is most likely single.
So what's the next best thing to do? I'm seeing her in class tomorrow and I really like her, smart, cute, nice. I just don't know what to ask her to do, and how to ask it? Would a hockey game I have tickets for (2hrs away...) be too much? Or interesting? Even though I can have a conversation with someone pretty easy, I always end up getting friendzoned or worse because I can't get past this particular stage.
She showed up right on time and well, it went about as average as it could have possibly gone. After the somewhat awkward 'find a seat, part ways to get food', we had a fairly good conversation. Nothing too mundane, told her she looked nice, tried to keep it as fun as I could and got her to talk about herself, and she seemed like she was having a good time, She said it was good seeing me, and I said we should do it again soon, smiled and we both said bye. Still never mentioned a bf, so she is most likely single.
So what's the next best thing to do? I'm seeing her in class tomorrow and I really like her, smart, cute, nice. I just don't know what to ask her to do, and how to ask it? Would a hockey game I have tickets for (2hrs away...) be too much? Or interesting? Even though I can have a conversation with someone pretty easy, I always end up getting friendzoned or worse because I can't get past this particular stage.
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So now you can invite her out to something entertaining - hockey tickets if shes into hockey...fully acceptable date.
Try to move this past the random lunch stage and make it an actual date.
Talk...find out about each other..see if you're interested in more than just her looks and brain.
a hockey game is a great idea, but two hours is too far away for a first date. i'd invite her to something closer to home, maybe involving a few other people - a low key BBQ or a movie. i'd say you need to make sure she's comfortable in the 'this is a friend outside of the school walls' category before you leap too far ahead. as long as you're sure of that, well, why not? go see the hockey eh
The only answer should start with Destroying her enemies...
What type of school is this: College/Uni or High School? This will also fill in possible age ranges.
Steam Me
Figure out something fun to do together, and ask her to do that. Things are going just fine at this point -- have confidence and enjoy yourself, and things will almost certainly turn out great.
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Obsess over her for weeks and barely exchange a word with her. Alternate between pretending she doesn't exist and acting like she's the only thing in the world. Then write a poem in your own blood dedicated to her.
Wait...wait... no don't do that. Maybe a hockey game isn't the best idea but you can find out her taste in music and ask her to go to a concert-thing near you or something else or whatever. Just ask her out on a date basically. If she's interested she'll respond.
Also don't say thing like "friendzoned".
I've never had a bad date bowling, even though that sounds questionable.
It gives you something to do if there's a lull in the conversation, and time to collect your thoughts.
It can be silly if she's silly.
It can be competitive if she's competitive.
And no one takes it too seriously.
--LeVar Burton
Touch her arm/hand if you're walking close together after the halfway mark or if you're sitting across from each other at a table.
If she leans in close to your face, smooch her.
Trust me, those four things are pretty much all you need to add if you're already good at talking to girls without being a jerk. Just never say friendzone again.
This. I came here to say this and it was already said.
If you're unsure of how to proceed, ask her on a date. Now, I don't mean to jump straight into formal dinner date where you get all dressed up and hit up a fancy restaurant.
I mean ask her if she wants to go grab a slice/a coffee/go to the candy store after class and go for a walk. And talk to her. About everything. Find out about her, what she likes, her hobbies, friends, all that sort of stuff.
As a side-note, I really have a hard time reconciling your advice with the Bender avatar.
Don't be like let's hang out, quite literally, ask her out. Ask to take her out. It drove me up the wall when guys would ask me to hang out, because hanging out means being friends. If you don't want to ask about a date, then ask to get a cup of coffee to chat and get to know each other. But please, don't say hang out. But that could be my own personal annoyance.
If she had a boyfriend, I think she would have mentioned it, to make it clear that you two would just be friends at the first "talk". The hockey game seems a bit far for a first date. Somewhere closer would be better.
Looking for Edith Finch Pin!
A walk in the park is also good, especially if there is something going on like a festival.
I guess when I meant 'friendzone' I more meant 'don't really get taken serious often' rather than something ignorant or stupid.
Yeah I'll just try to see how she acts around me the next time I talk to her. I mean in barely a week I got her name, number, and ate with her alone but in a very public atmosphere (campus dining hall). So I guess that's good? If she feels comfortable around me I'll try to ask if she wants to go do something. Still would have no clue if she is interested, if I can get her to do something else should I escalate then?
Yes! I've been on a couple of accidental dates due to this confusion.
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This.
The thing to remember is that she clearly likes you. So either she says yes and you get a date, or you're a good guy that was up fromt asked her out.
Either way you'll be ahead of the curve.
--LeVar Burton
We were talking about school (math specifically), and when we left class we kinda kept talking about class/school/tests. I walked her to her class again, but the conversation was kind of killed. I tried changing the conversation to what she was up to later, work, etc. but it felt forced. I'm going to be out of town this weekend so I didn't know how to ask, and still hadn't thought of what to actually do. So she said 'I guess I'll see you Tuesday (next class), I said yeah I'm leaving tomorrow, but I'll send you a picture (of where I'm going), bye/bye'
I feel stupid. So stupid. Did I mess up? I feel like I missed a great opportunity
Worst case she says no, or otherwise lets you down. Worrying about it is a lot worse then just being said no to.
Have a plan for an actual date, so you have something to say if she says yes and you're not all like, Cool, so... what do you wanna do?
(And if she says no, you say, "Oh, ok, thanks anyway," or similar, and end the conversation.)
Don't worry too much about what you did or didn't say earlier. I promise, unless a) you were a huge jerk (you weren't), or b) she has unreasonable expectations of how a guy should behave, then it's fine.
Caveat: While I am female and am describing the way I like to be approached, I'm also fairly socially awkward myself, and I prefer directness. YMMV.
Do exactly this.
If she says yes then hopefully that gives you the confidence to call her for reals! If she says no then again follow Calica's advice by text, If she doesn't reply, give it a few days and then assume that means no and follow Calica's advice by text.
Calica knows what's up.
No, this is how romance works. 1,000 romantic comedies rely on bashful guys working up the courage to ask a girl out.
A call / text with a simple 'Oh, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out for <insert specific thing here, like coffee / walk / etc> when I get back next week' is all you need.
The subtext will communicate that you were nervous about asking her - which can be a good thing, because if she's interested in you she was probably nervous too. Don't make a big 'haha, look at socially awkward me, couldn't ask you out' deal out of it, but she still gets the message.
One tip, and easier said than done - don't worry about cooking up a line. Never worry about cooking up lines. Think about what you want to do, and talk to her as a person - a person that you like - not a puzzle or challenge that needs to be done 'just right' or you fail.
The thing to do now of course is see where you want to go next. If you are happy being friends then keep it light and airy with a text back along the lines of 'no worries' and just carry on with the friendly text thing.
If you think by continuing to hang out with her you'll keep pining after her and hoping to turn from friend to something more, still give the polite friendly text back, but maybe try and think about withdrawing from seeing her so much for the immediate.
And follow Jam's advice.