Dallas

Frank-N-Furter

Not the tv show you stoops.
I'm talkin about the city.
I'm going there for a year this summer.

is it cool??

DJDM

More hot than not.

Starfuck

fuck dallas

ShimSham

This guy is named Dallas.

Sheri

Oh shit where's Grant?

Ubik

Debbie Does, etc.

Raneados

the problem with dallas is that it's in texas

J. Grant

Eh. It's okay.

Sheri

There he is.

bsjezz

i know a guy from dallas

he's pretty cool

Dangerou-Dave

Every time I've been to texas, I've been so happy returning back to the midwest, flying into O'Hare.

Straightzi

Which Dallas? Because there are multiple places named Dallas y'know.

Raneados

Texas, you retard

Filler Inc.

I hear texas sucks.

I also hear saying that will cause texans to come to my apartment for a good ol fashion lynching.

Rankenphile

dallas is the goatse of the united states

sure it's famous and all

but it's still a gnarly lookin asshole

Filler Inc.

Also it smells.

Bendery It Like Beckham

the problem with Texas, is that is has Dallas

and it sucks

Filler Inc.

Move to alabama and kill these so they don't take over.

Bendery It Like Beckham

wow

that kid is fat

epburn

Dallas is fine. It's four hours or so from Austin. Plus it's in Texas, a state so incredible it inspires the bile-spewing jealousy you see above.

TheySlashThem

Bendery It Like Beckham

Yeah, that's it. Jealousy...

Dangerou-Dave

Texas is a state obsessed with itself.

Filler Inc.

And home of walker ranch, home office of the president.

Bendery It Like Beckham

Nothing but steers and queers

epburn

Obsessed with greatness.

Chief1138

the problem with dallas is that it's in dallas

Bendery It Like Beckham

and penis

J. Grant

HA HA HA

Ok, but srsly:

I'm a huge ever-loving faggot for Dallas. Been here 12 years, and I never want to live anywhere else. Except maybe New Orleans or Paris.

Let's start with the bad news:

- Heat and Humidity
There's an old west song written in the mid-1800s about the heat here. The song talks about how the Devil wanted to make a hell on earth, so God gave him Texas. It's too hot for the devil to visit.
This song is not far off course. It may not sound like a BIG difference, but it is: the temps in summer regularly hit highs of 105+ and lows of 90+ for days at a time, with humidity ranging between 60 and 100%
It does get goddamned hot here, and that's no lie.

- Dry areas
If you're an alcoholic like me, this is a travesty. The Baptists originally made a whole slew of laws governing Dallas, and many of these are still on the books. Beer and wine can only be purchased until midnight, and one o'clock on saturday nights. Booze cannot be purchased after 9 pm or on Sunday at all, and has to be purchased at special stores where the stock the stuff.
Entire areas of Dallas are bone dry, and you have to drive 3 or 4 miles (maybe more) to get so much as a beer.

- Drivers
Dallas drivers are fucking insane and I've yet to see ANY city with worse. The roads are also very confusing, with things like freeways called 35 E and 35 W that run north and south. Or Loop 12, which really isn't a goddamned loop.

That's the bad. Now the good:

- Jobs aplenty
There are always jobs in this town. I've long held that if you're completely unemployed in Dallas, you're either a giant ex-con fuckup with heroin tracks down the sides of your neck or you're just lazy. There are ALWAYS jobs here. When I lived in CA and CO, there were times when there were no jobs to be had. As in none. Here? I've never gone looking for a job longer than a week.

- Cheap as fuck
This is one of the biggest selling points to me: DALLAS IS INEXPENSIVE.
In Long Beach, I had a "townhouse" (read: apartment without all the amenities) that was 580 sq ft. I paid $680 a month in 1995 for that.
When I got to Texas, the people I was staying with and I had a 3000 sq. ft. house with a full acre backyard for 500 a month.
Gas? Right now JUST crested 3.04 in a few places. Meat? Dude, this is where meat COMES FROM. Produce is strangely pricey, but you can pick up a 20 lb brisket for $15 if you know where to look.

- Amazingly good nightlife
Think about every major act you've seen in concert. When you were looking up their schedule, I bet Dallas was on there. I have seen scads more bands in Dallas than I ever saw in SoCal.
No matter what your bent is for a musical scene, it's here. There's a stunningly large Goth/Industrial scene. There's also ska, reggae, heavy metal and punk scenes. Most of these scenes have a variety of clubs to hit.
Deep Ellum isn't as good as it was 12 years ago, but it's still a huge chunk of downtown just covered with venues. There's also Lower and Middle Greenville, Oak Lawn, West End... the list goes on and on. And if you get tired of D-town, there's clubs and places from here to Ft. Worth.

This brings us to:
- FOOOOOOOOOOOD
If you're a healthy eater, you can probably make do here. If, however, you're a horrible fucking gluttonous bastard like me, Dallas will kill you with the awesome.
You want real cajun food? We got it. You want real ethnic food from anywhere in the world? We got it. You want giant piles of perfect beef just slathered in heart-stopping condiments and bacon? We got it.
I've never understood it, but Dallas is some kind of melting pot for the food of the entire earth. And the locals do loves to eat.

- The Locals are NICE
Most of them. There is crime in Dallas, and there are murders and whatnot. BUT
it's been my experience that most locals are WAY nicer than people in other places. They look you in the eye when they talk to you. They'll stop and help you change a tire. Nobody's afraid of getting sued, since we just shoot people instead of litigation.
This doesn't mean go down to the rough side of town and start trying to be all friendly to the thugg gangstas who sit around looking for someone to kill. It does mean that you pretty much HAVE to be looking for that kind of thing to find it.

In conclusion, I've lived in places other people consider "great!" and never felt the home I do here. I've left once since 1995, and got my ass back here as fast as possible. It's hot, sure, but so are the women, and the beer's ice cold. I got a swimming pool, a great wife, lots of great friends, and a great job. These are things I did not find elsewhere.

So when you breeze on in, Darth and I will hook a brotha up.

Neli

I've never been to Dallas

mrpaku

i was in dallas once but it was just the airport and it sucked

all 26 hours of it

J. Grant

mrpaku wrote: »

i was in dallas once but it was just the airport and it sucked

all 26 hours of it

DFW Airport blows.

Go to Love Field if you can.

epburn

J. Grant wrote: »

HA HA HA

Ok, but srsly:

I'm a huge ever-loving faggot for Dallas. Been here 12 years, and I never want to live anywhere else. Except maybe New Orleans or Paris.

Let's start with the bad news:

- Heat and Humidity
There's an old west song written in the mid-1800s about the heat here. The song talks about how the Devil wanted to make a hell on earth, so God gave him Texas. It's too hot for the devil to visit.
This song is not far off course. It may not sound like a BIG difference, but it is: the temps in summer regularly hit highs of 105+ and lows of 90+ for days at a time, with humidity ranging between 60 and 100%
It does get goddamned hot here, and that's no lie.

- Dry areas
If you're an alcoholic like me, this is a travesty. The Baptists originally made a whole slew of laws governing Dallas, and many of these are still on the books. Beer and wine can only be purchased until midnight, and one o'clock on saturday nights. Booze cannot be purchased after 9 pm or on Sunday at all, and has to be purchased at special stores where the stock the stuff.
Entire areas of Dallas are bone dry, and you have to drive 3 or 4 miles (maybe more) to get so much as a beer.

- Drivers
Dallas drivers are fucking insane and I've yet to see ANY city with worse. The roads are also very confusing, with things like freeways called 35 E and 35 W that run north and south. Or Loop 12, which really isn't a goddamned loop.

That's the bad. Now the good:

- Jobs aplenty
There are always jobs in this town. I've long held that if you're completely unemployed in Dallas, you're either a giant ex-con fuckup with heroin tracks down the sides of your neck or you're just lazy. There are ALWAYS jobs here. When I lived in CA and CO, there were times when there were no jobs to be had. As in none. Here? I've never gone looking for a job longer than a week.

- Cheap as fuck
This is one of the biggest selling points to me: DALLAS IS INEXPENSIVE.
In Long Beach, I had a "townhouse" (read: apartment without all the amenities) that was 580 sq ft. I paid $680 a month in 1995 for that.
When I got to Texas, the people I was staying with and I had a 3000 sq. ft. house with a full acre backyard for 500 a month.
Gas? Right now JUST crested 3.04 in a few places. Meat? Dude, this is where meat COMES FROM. Produce is strangely pricey, but you can pick up a 20 lb brisket for $15 if you know where to look.

- Amazingly good nightlife
Think about every major act you've seen in concert. When you were looking up their schedule, I bet Dallas was on there. I have seen scads more bands in Dallas than I ever saw in SoCal.
No matter what your bent is for a musical scene, it's here. There's a stunningly large Goth/Industrial scene. There's also ska, reggae, heavy metal and punk scenes. Most of these scenes have a variety of clubs to hit.
Deep Ellum isn't as good as it was 12 years ago, but it's still a huge chunk of downtown just covered with venues. There's also Lower and Middle Greenville, Oak Lawn, West End... the list goes on and on. And if you get tired of D-town, there's clubs and places from here to Ft. Worth.

This brings us to:
- FOOOOOOOOOOOD
If you're a healthy eater, you can probably make do here. If, however, you're a horrible fucking gluttonous bastard like me, Dallas will kill you with the awesome.
You want real cajun food? We got it. You want real ethnic food from anywhere in the world? We got it. You want giant piles of perfect beef just slathered in heart-stopping condiments and bacon? We got it.
I've never understood it, but Dallas is some kind of melting pot for the food of the entire earth. And the locals do loves to eat.

- The Locals are NICE
Most of them. There is crime in Dallas, and there are murders and whatnot. BUT
it's been my experience that most locals are WAY nicer than people in other places. They look you in the eye when they talk to you. They'll stop and help you change a tire. Nobody's afraid of getting sued, since we just shoot people instead of litigation.
This doesn't mean go down to the rough side of town and start trying to be all friendly to the thugg gangstas who sit around looking for someone to kill. It does mean that you pretty much HAVE to be looking for that kind of thing to find it.

In conclusion, I've lived in places other people consider "great!" and never felt the home I do here. I've left once since 1995, and got my ass back here as fast as possible. It's hot, sure, but so are the women, and the beer's ice cold. I got a swimming pool, a great wife, lots of great friends, and a great job. These are things I did not find elsewhere.

So when you breeze on in, Darth and I will hook a brotha up.

:^:

J. Grant

Filler wrote: »

I hear texas sucks.

I also hear saying that will cause texans to come to my apartment for a good ol fashion lynching.

That's just a friendly game of Lariat on the Homo!

Don't be such a pussy.

Monkeybomb

Grant, you forgot killer insects and arachnids of all sorts under the cons.

Filler Inc.

You also forgot the massive amounts of cons under the cons.

Its a breeding place for criminals!

rockmonkey

I'm from north east Texas, little under an hour and a half from Dallas.... I Dallas.

If you go looking for a good time you'll find it.

J. Grant

Monkeybomb wrote: »

Grant, you forgot killer insects and arachnids of all sorts under the cons.

Now now.

None of the killer insects will actually kill you.

They'll just give you fucking nightmares for years.

The biggest spiders here are the North American Wolf Spiders of Southlake, an area pretty far from Dallas. They won't kill you, although I have personally seen one as big as my entire hand.

The largest wasps in Dallas are the Cicada Killers, and they're the size of your pinky. the whole pinky. Good news is they don't sting humans unless you grab them or something - they just fly around looking terrifying and eating any insect that moves.

The cockroaches are nine feet long. They fly and use their rudimentary flint knapping skills to make crude spears for hunting bison. We shoot them with Desert Eagles.

But there are also good things in Dallas:
Geckoes. I have like 50 goddamn geckoes living in my back porch. And they eat the bugs.
Chameleons.
Praying Mantises
etc.

Filler Inc.

You wanna send me a gecko or a chameleon, or both maybe perhaps?

J. Grant

rockmonkey wrote: »

I'm from north east Texas, little under an hour and a half from Dallas.... I Dallas.

If you go looking for a good time you'll find it.

Texarkana? Tyler?

Basic

Raneados wrote: »

the problem with dallas is that it's in texas