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holy fuck a BAT in my home
Hamju
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So I was sitting on the couch, happily playing guitar hero in my apartment tonight when all of a sudden, my wife shrieks and yells, "THERE'S SOMETHING FLYING AROUND!" Out of the corner of my eye I see some flapping and my first thought is "large moth". However, the moth ended up being a huge monstrosity that flew around in circles in my living room while my wife screamed like, well, a little girl.
Me, being the manly man that I am, cower behind my guitar hero controller taking little pansy swings at it as it passes over my head. I yell to my wife, "stay low! go open the front door and open it and maybe it'll fly out!" She does this and while she's over there, takes shelter in the bathroom, not to be seen from again until things calm down.
Well, now I figure I've had enough of this flying menace's bullshit and stand up and start taking serious swings at this thing. All the while in the background on the TV all I hear is "CLINK CLANK CLANK CLINK DUNK" seeing as I haven't actually turned off Guitar Hero and I'm issuing a whole bunch of commands seeing as I am holding the controller like a mighty battle axe. Every once in a while I nick the unidentified flying creature, but do no damage and the fucking thing REFUSES to fly into the hallway. It always gets close to the door and decides to turn around and fly right back at me.
Well, it doesn't take long before I take a swing and SMACK I fucking SMOKED that bastard. He flies into my kitchen and lands on the floor, stunned. I do a quick victory dance and yell something like "HA TAKE THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT!" and run to get a pot. Now I can clearly see that it is in fact, a bat. I grab a small pot and try to scoop it up into it, assuming it was unconscious. Well, it wasn't and it freaks out, squeals at me and starts flailing. I trap it under another, larger pot, but can't get anything underneath it. When I try it escapes the pot and flies to my kitchen window. I seemingly disappears and I spend about half an hour looking for it before I find it behind my basil plant.
Right now the window is closed and the bat is between the screen and the window, but the screen is propped open enough that it can get out, if it will just move from its goddamn corner. I'm going to wait overnight and hope it leaves on its own.
tl;dr a bat got in my house, I smoked it with a guitar hero controller and now it's subdued, but still around
So, what tales of battles with flying rodents do you have?
Me, being the manly man that I am, cower behind my guitar hero controller taking little pansy swings at it as it passes over my head. I yell to my wife, "stay low! go open the front door and open it and maybe it'll fly out!" She does this and while she's over there, takes shelter in the bathroom, not to be seen from again until things calm down.
Well, now I figure I've had enough of this flying menace's bullshit and stand up and start taking serious swings at this thing. All the while in the background on the TV all I hear is "CLINK CLANK CLANK CLINK DUNK" seeing as I haven't actually turned off Guitar Hero and I'm issuing a whole bunch of commands seeing as I am holding the controller like a mighty battle axe. Every once in a while I nick the unidentified flying creature, but do no damage and the fucking thing REFUSES to fly into the hallway. It always gets close to the door and decides to turn around and fly right back at me.
Well, it doesn't take long before I take a swing and SMACK I fucking SMOKED that bastard. He flies into my kitchen and lands on the floor, stunned. I do a quick victory dance and yell something like "HA TAKE THAT YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT!" and run to get a pot. Now I can clearly see that it is in fact, a bat. I grab a small pot and try to scoop it up into it, assuming it was unconscious. Well, it wasn't and it freaks out, squeals at me and starts flailing. I trap it under another, larger pot, but can't get anything underneath it. When I try it escapes the pot and flies to my kitchen window. I seemingly disappears and I spend about half an hour looking for it before I find it behind my basil plant.
Right now the window is closed and the bat is between the screen and the window, but the screen is propped open enough that it can get out, if it will just move from its goddamn corner. I'm going to wait overnight and hope it leaves on its own.
tl;dr a bat got in my house, I smoked it with a guitar hero controller and now it's subdued, but still around
So, what tales of battles with flying rodents do you have?
Hamju on
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Just bag the bat and toss it out.
you must become a bat
It's mind-boggling how a character like this got into the sonic series.
basicly everything you ever did sent her tits flying around everywhere
No thanks. An episode of BBC's Planet Earth is about caves and talks about this one cave with a 100m high pile of bat shit that supports and entire eco-system. Sometimes the bats fall in their own poop and are trapped. They then get eaten by roaches.
"That's right Mr. Wayne, like a submarine."
I believe so.
And before that there was a thread about an article about a bat that was in a woman's bra.
And there was obviously the whole Dark Knight saga which entailed 13,576 threads about bats.
I'm noticing a trend for bats. Bats are obviously planning to take over the world, one internet forum at a time.
WHOAH WHAT THE FUCK I'M TRIPPING OUT MAN
a bat flew into your home and you decided to try and hit it with your plastic guitar, instead of being a sensible person and throwing a towel over it so you could get it outside
come on what the fuck
I mean, I'm not speaking from personal experience here, but I did have a run in with a large owl in my youth. I imagine the two situations would be somewhat similar.
Then my dog ran up and ate it in one gulp.
just wait till an unwanted bat comes into your home.
then we'll see just how unafraid you really are.
Then it was dead.
I woke up at like 2am with a snowy TV screen and a fucking bat doing laps about a foot over my head.
This was my first experience with a bat, so naturally my reaction was calmly starting calling for my grandma (lived with my grandma), increasing the volume of my voice as my terror rose.
She very calmly came out of her room armed with only a shoebox, watched it fly around a couple times, then jumped in and caught that sombitch right in that there shoebox.
She has had many run-ins with foul night beasts in her time on this planet
we opened the door and shooed it out
nobody screamed, nobody hit it
fantastic
I'm always surprised at how small they really are. Once it was sitting quietly in the corner of the windowsill I got a good look at it and its tiny fury body. However, I don't find their wrinkly faces cute.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0r3DrOxeHgg&feature=related
Awww
My point is that nocturnal flying animals aren't scary, but the mass hysteria they generate when they visit unexpectedly is never pleasant. Also, there's the surprise of having a bat or what-have-you in your house when, seconds ago, there wasn't one. That sort of thing can cramp anyone's style.
We turn around and there's a black squirrel laying motionless in the street. Apparently he lost his grip on a tree or electric wire or something and took a spill.
So one of our stupider friends walks over and checks it out. It's still breathing, not bleeding or anything, so he picks it up and starts to carry it.
After a few seconds it wakes up, absolutely tears his chest and arms to shit, then darts off into the bushes. That was a pretty awesome day.
We didn't really like him so I'm not sure if we hung out with him again after that.
Tell that to the people in Venezuela
Just the sheer almost-non-sequitur-ness of that second sentence is making me laugh myself silly
aww poor bat
That dog appeared out of nowhere and bit the seagull's upper body off.
I swear we kept him well fed.