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Merlin... WTF?

ChanusChanus Registered User regular
edited December 2010 in Debate and/or Discourse
Has anyone ever watched this? I just suffered through the first two episodes hoping it would be decent.

What the hell?

The evil Knight has a shield with magic snakes on it, but they can't prove it because the one witness died of a snakebite? Was everyone in Camelot suffering from blunt-force head trauma?

What the fuck is that?

I've always thought I should write, but haven't ever been happy with anything I can come up with. Someone got paid for this shitacular. That gives me hope. I didn't know all you had to do was defecate on a page and put in some stuff about magic and swords and the BBC would make a show about it.

Fuck.

Sorry... had to rant. I want that 45 minutes of my life back.

Chanus on
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Posts

  • Kid PresentableKid Presentable Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Is this the one with Hugo Weaving?

  • Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Is the one where a guy throws an axe that flies in a straight path without rotating whatsoever?

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  • PantsBPantsB Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Is this the one with Hugo Weaving?

    Anthony Stewart Head as Uther Pendragon.

    And yeah its been underwhelming

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    Spoiler:
  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Hexmage-PA wrote: »
    Is the one where a guy throws an axe that flies in a straight path without rotating whatsoever?

    No, that was the NBC miniseries/movie "Merlin" starring Sam Neil (it's weird that I knew exactly what you were talking about - it's in a "medieval narration montage!" shot where "the Saxons" axe a monk in the back from like 30 yards away).

    I watched part of the first episode of this new one with the sound off. From what I saw, Camelot apparently came around before Merlin, and Merlin was actually a pretty boy-band wannabe who defended weak page boys from the knife-throwing medieval equivalent of frat boys.

  • Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    KalTorak wrote: »
    From what I saw, Camelot apparently came around before Merlin, and Merlin was actually a pretty boy-band wannabe who defended weak page boys from the knife-throwing medieval equivalent of frat boys.

    Huh. And here I thought Merlin was a wizard.

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  • KalTorakKalTorak Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Hexmage-PA wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    From what I saw, Camelot apparently came around before Merlin, and Merlin was actually a pretty boy-band wannabe who defended weak page boys from the knife-throwing medieval equivalent of frat boys.

    Huh. And here I thought Merlin was a wizard.

    Don't be silly, we can't market old dudes or even middle-aged dudes to the OC crowd!

  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    PantsB wrote: »
    Anthony Stewart Head
    PantsB wrote: »
    And yeah its been underwhelming
    These two things are mutually exclusive.

    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. On Hiatus!

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  • PantsBPantsB Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    PantsB wrote: »
    Anthony Stewart Head
    PantsB wrote: »
    And yeah its been underwhelming
    These two things are mutually exclusive.

    One would think

    11793-1.png
    Spoiler:
  • BlackjackBlackjack Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Merlin is a perfectly fun show as long as you aren't trying to take it seriously.

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  • Manic205Manic205 Registered User
    edited June 2009
    The first thing "Merlin" does upon finding out he has entered a kingdom where every instance of magic or the supernatural is met with execution, is use his fucking magic in every instance possible. In front of dozens of people. And then picks the King's son(Arthur, who is apparently a huge douchebag?) as his nemesis.

    Turrible.

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  • ElkiElki hegemon globalSuper Moderator, Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited June 2009
    Merlin's reckless stupidity is the show's biggest issue.

  • saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Dudes, stick around past the first 3-4 episodes. It's definitely worth the investment.

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  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Chanus wrote: »
    The evil Knight has a shield with magic snakes on it, but they can't prove it because the one witness died of a snakebite?

    This made me lol, a lot.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • Kid PresentableKid Presentable Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I think I meant "Sam Neil" when I asked if it was "Hugo Weaving"... I'm not sure if one would have actually been better than the other. In my defense, the beer that I bought for this evening turned out to be a surprising 8% Alc. by Vol. and I can't be held responsible for distinguishing Dr. Grant from Elrond.

  • SloSlo Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I loved the Merlin 2-part miniseries. From the 90s? Annnnd thats my contribution to this thread.

  • OmeksOmeks Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I was at my friend's house last week when this came on. Apparently he wanted to watch it, but mainly for the Harry Potter promo that they were airing in the middle of it. His girlfriend I guess also kind of wanted to watch it. I hadn't heard of it before then.

    We watch it for 30 minutes, and I'm ready to change it but I figure they seemed to have an interest in it and far be it for me to come into someone's house and tell them to change the channel. So I just keep quiet while I surf the interwebs on my laptop, there's only 30 minutes left, I can hold out that long. The hour is over and I'm glad this boring show is over. Then...it continues. He then mentions that apparently they were showing the first two episodes over two hours. My eyes roll back into my head, but luckily his girlfriend got him to change it so I guess she didn't like it either. I agreed and we watched something else.

    In short, I thought it was boring as hell. While I never really watched the show, it kind of reminded me of a medieval version of Smallville, though I have nothing to base that on since I never watched it. It's just the first thing that cam to mind.

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  • TeaSpoonTeaSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    KalTorak wrote: »
    Hexmage-PA wrote: »
    KalTorak wrote: »
    From what I saw, Camelot apparently came around before Merlin, and Merlin was actually a pretty boy-band wannabe who defended weak page boys from the knife-throwing medieval equivalent of frat boys.

    Huh. And here I thought Merlin was a wizard.

    Don't be silly, we can't market old dudes or even middle-aged dudes to the OC crowd!

    From the first episode, I can tell you that Merlin isn't a wizard, he's a teenager with superpowers.

    They somehow managed to make Merlin the farmboy who goes on a quest. Damnit, BBC. Wrong archetype! There is no point in calling him Merlin if he's not the older mentor figure, the one who out-Gandalfs Gandalf. He's not interesting if you keep him young.

    And since Young Merlin is an ignorant country bumpkin, his magic has to be inborn to justify it. A fluke of fate. Something he has absolutely no hand in achieving. He didn't study or work for it. He just has it. A swear to god, Harry Potter ruined wizards forever. Used to be that magic was a side effect of great knowledge and wisdom, something attained through effort and cunning. You didn't mess with a wizard, not just because he can call down lightning, but because he was smarter than you.

    Nowadays, you have to be born special.

    So yeah, Merlin is a teenager dealing with bullies and peer pressure who secretly has a superpower he tries to keep hidden. Evil forces are afoot and the great future hope of the kingdom is a spoiled jock. The premise is retarded. The plot is retarded. Don't watch it. Ever.

  • TomantaTomanta Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I watched maybe, MAYBE 20 minutes on Hulu this morning before I said fuck this and watched the latest episode of Kings instead.

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  • KrathoonKrathoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    The Merlin by Hallmark and Sam Neil is actually pretty damn good. Also, thumbs up to their "Gulliver's Travels" as well.

  • His CorkinessHis Corkiness Registered User
    edited June 2009
    This is one of those shows where I only needed to see 10 seconds of an ad for it before I knew it was going to be shit.

  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Wasn't merlin supposed to be aging backwards? How can they justify him regular aging in this?

  • B:LB:L Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Preacher wrote: »
    Wasn't merlin supposed to be aging backwards? How can they justify him regular aging in this?

    It's a complete revamp of the tale, like Smallville was to Superman.

    The show is still enjoyable as a guilty pleasure, since nothing else is on.

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  • Kid PresentableKid Presentable Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Krathoon wrote: »
    The Merlin by Hallmark and Sam Neil is actually pretty damn good. Also, thumbs up to their "Gulliver's Travels" as well.

    Is this not the version that we're talking about? Because you're right about both of those assessments.

  • KhavallKhavall Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Krathoon wrote: »
    The Merlin by Hallmark and Sam Neil is actually pretty damn good. Also, thumbs up to their "Gulliver's Travels" as well.

    Is this not the version that we're talking about? Because you're right about both of those assessments.

    No we're talking about the currently on TV show.


    Which I am watching now.

    Man it's bad.

    They don't even have magic just being an inborn thing... there are wizards who have studied magic, but Merlin is just special.

    The '98 miniseries though was awesome.

  • B:LB:L Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    To prevent the confusion, this is the series that's being talked about.

    Here's a scene where Arthur and Merlin are sleeping together:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJum6HSjOdc

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  • SentrySentry Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    People might disagree... but ever since I read Mists of Avalon (note: read, not saw) every retelling of Arthur's legend has been under-whelming.

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  • InHumanInHuman Registered User
    edited June 2009
    God. That's Gay.

    Variable wrote: »

    you're coming off like a massive dick here
  • InHumanInHuman Registered User
    edited June 2009
    Anyone read the lost years of merlin?

    I liked that when I was a kid.

    Variable wrote: »

    you're coming off like a massive dick here
  • B:LB:L Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    InHuman wrote: »
    God. That's Gay.

    It balances with Morgana and Guinevere.

    755598f520.jpg

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  • JudgementJudgement Registered User
    edited June 2009
    B:L wrote: »
    To prevent the confusion, this is the series that's being talked about.

    Here's a scene where Arthur and Merlin are sleeping together:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJum6HSjOdc

    49 seconds into it: Only interesting thing I thought was "Boot to the head!":lol:

    After watching the whole clip, the acting/writing is sooo dull. I can't judge a show based solely on a clip, but if that were a marketing ad, I'd never want to watch Merlin.

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  • ThomamelasThomamelas “Three films a day, three books a week and records of great music would be enough to make me happy to the day I die.” Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Preacher wrote: »
    Wasn't merlin supposed to be aging backwards? How can they justify him regular aging in this?

    No. This is something T.H. White used in the Once and Future King. It's not referenced in Le Morte d'Arthur or any of the Merlin fragments that predate it. Ironically, those complaining about the source of Merlin's magic being an inborn trait rather then from wise learning are also wrong. The older stories in which we draw the character of Merlin generally note that he is born of a the union of a mortal woman and an incubus. This is the source of his magic, shapeshifting and powers of prophecy.

  • CarcharodontosaurusCarcharodontosaurus Registered User
    edited June 2009
    I tried watching Merlin for about six episodes, but I gave up. Now, I don't mind a reinvention of an old story. I thought the new Robin Hood series was excellent. The reason it worked is because the characters were engaging, the episodes advanced the overall tale being told, and the setting felt consistent.

    Merlin has none of that. The only character with any sort of depth is Gaius, and he's generally shoe horned into whatever stupid plot is the focus of the episode. None of the episodes actually advance anything beyond the most trivial aspects of the story, and are otherwise aimless if not outright ridiculous. Finally, the setting of the show feels completely inconsistent. It doesn't feel like a medieval fantasy castle, it feels like a hastily arranged set.

    It's a shame, because I wanted to like Merlin. But honestly, it's got nothing going for it.

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  • B:LB:L Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Judgement wrote: »
    After watching the whole clip, the acting/writing is sooo dull.

    Of course it's dull, and I would imagine the writing would be terrible, because that scene was completely improvised to be human and realistic.

    But if you want marketing, here's a real trailer for it:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPxq3myiQF0

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  • InHumanInHuman Registered User
    edited June 2009
    B:L wrote: »
    InHuman wrote: »
    God. That's Gay.

    It balances with Morgana and Guinevere.

    755598f520.jpg


    Force once THAT kind of jungle fever lesbian-ism dosn't have me excited.

    Variable wrote: »

    you're coming off like a massive dick here
  • KhavallKhavall Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Ok, if you have natural inborn telekinetic powers that you have pretty much complete control over and someone points a sword at you being scared is not the correct thing to do.

    Also, how can an audience that is surrounding a guy completely not see a snake coming out of his shield and biting another guy


    I think what made me like the 98 miniseries is that you felt that Merlin was powerful as fuck, but was still able to make simple human errors, which were exacerbated because he was so powerful and influential.

    This just has no internal logic.

  • CorvusCorvus Caw? VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Khavall wrote: »
    This just has no internal logic.

    Expecting a cheese-ball show like this to have internal logic may be setting the bar a little high. This show really seems almost like it should have been done as a weekend morning kids show.

  • TeaSpoonTeaSpoon Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Wasn't merlin supposed to be aging backwards? How can they justify him regular aging in this?

    No. This is something T.H. White used in the Once and Future King. It's not referenced in Le Morte d'Arthur or any of the Merlin fragments that predate it. Ironically, those complaining about the source of Merlin's magic being an inborn trait rather then from wise learning are also wrong. The older stories in which we draw the character of Merlin generally note that he is born of a the union of a mortal woman and an incubus. This is the source of his magic, shapeshifting and powers of prophecy.

    The inborn magic complaint was against the trend of wizards in modern fiction in general rather than just this one instance. What does piss me off is that Merlin is a dude with superpowers. That's all his magic amounts to. Arthurian legend doesn't seem quite the right place to have this sort of magic system.

  • KhavallKhavall Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    TeaSpoon wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    Preacher wrote: »
    Wasn't merlin supposed to be aging backwards? How can they justify him regular aging in this?

    No. This is something T.H. White used in the Once and Future King. It's not referenced in Le Morte d'Arthur or any of the Merlin fragments that predate it. Ironically, those complaining about the source of Merlin's magic being an inborn trait rather then from wise learning are also wrong. The older stories in which we draw the character of Merlin generally note that he is born of a the union of a mortal woman and an incubus. This is the source of his magic, shapeshifting and powers of prophecy.

    The inborn magic complaint was against the trend of wizards in modern fiction in general rather than just this one instance. What does piss me off is that Merlin is a dude with superpowers. That's all his magic amounts to. Arthurian legend doesn't seem quite the right place to have this sort of magic system.

    And in Arthurian legend Birth was like, what gave people everything... unless I'm wrong, there weren't knights who practiced magic but then Merlin was suddenly huge... he had special circumstances that made him exceptional, but he wasn't just born in a land where magic was totally fine except for the fact that it was outlawed... except he had natural inborn magic.

    And then in the second episode they make his inborn magic useless anyways... in the first episode he has "magic" which is just telekinesis, and then in the second episode to move a lock on a door he has to say something.

    Really, you never get the feeling that Merlin has any real power... he just comes off as having special powers because the writers realized they were writing about Merlin so oh right he can do magic.

    Again, the 98 miniseries made Merlin not only of special birth, but also having studied what he was doing, and it made him incredibly powerful and influential... but because he still was human, as were everyone else, things weren't a super happy fun time with fairies. This is a super happy fun world with fairies but Merlin's just too stupid to do anything.

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