Okay well... yea. I dont want this to get graphic, and i want to keep it relatively safe for work. So ill try to be as straight forward as i can.
I am in a long distance relationship. This is relevant how?
Well before i was in this relationship... i didnt do much stuff "alone". I just sorta went about my day and what not.
Since ive been in this relationship however ive doubled up on the "Me" time ive spent during the week. Scratch that .. quadrupled the "me" time.
As of this week im trying to lay off ( despite the urges ) cause im a little sore in some places.
Is there any home remedy for this to help ease the discomfort other than just abstinence by itself? I know to lay off on stuff... but is there anything else i can do?
NSFW Spoiler
Im a 23 year old male. Im gay. Ive been using a dildo as well as lube. THATS why im sore. Im not going into other details.
Note to Moderators: If this topic is outside of the rules, please let me know. i reviewed the rules like 4 times before writing this, and i thought it would be okay to talk about, but if it isnt.... please let me know. I really dont know where else to ask about this sorta thing at all.
Posts
Yea not sharp pains or anything.
More like... just... soreness in general.
Also i think i would rather die before going to a West Texas doctor with this problem.
About comfort... Ive been sitting on a soft pillow. Am i just about doing everything right here, or is there something else i should do or should not do to not aggravate the problem?
I just want to cover all my bases.
They've probably seen a lot worse.
Worth a shot.
I think you may be thinking of a different area...
(edit: beaten... *snrk*)
Ive had some bad experiences with doctors and some down right prejudice stuff. Ive had to quit one psychiatrist and two therapists for prejudice slanders against me and general homophobia.
And the physicians assistant im stuck with for a "doctor" for medical problems is quite possibly the most embarrasing person to be around with a problem. She is kinda.. cutesy and bubblegum cutesy, and she is just.. i dunno... she makes the process just unbearable.
When i was on Zoloft i had some major troubles with Erectile Dysfunction. Like major problems. My then psychiatrist... said it was probably for the best that i didnt have any urges for sex. He never clarified on that statement, but some other stuff he said about me later on made me move on from him. I tried bringing it up to my Physicians assistant, and she just... i dont know... she made me feel so embarrased. And on top of that she didnt know what to do about it. I didnt get anything about it done until i got into a new psychiatrist last July.
Hell at this point im so dissastisfied with the doctors medicaid has stuck me with, that when i get sick , i just go to the emergency room.
I also have no frame of reference or guidance when it comes to dealing with my sexuality. My therapist is great for dealing with "now problems" like depression and stuff. But he is really genuinely lost when it comes to bigger picture stuff. i dont blame him, and its not why i go to him but still.
I have no real outreach for problems like these. This is why i make stupid posts to an internet forum for advice. If i knew i could call someone who was gay, or like... someone who has gay friends... or someone who is not my boyfriend... someone i could talk to about this that might have a perspective on things, it would be a great comfort to me.
Instead i always feel at a loss.
Ive looked for Gay outreach stuff here in San Angelo. There is not a single organization or entity in this city or anywhere within 120 miles that i could go to.
There used to be at the university, but it is all gone now.
So yea... i think the point im trying to get to is... i really have a lot of issues ( the soreness is just one of many ) that i need to be able to talk to about with someone who might understand.. but i find myself as usual at a loss of where to turn to.
I know i just sorta ran this off subject... but it just kinda all hit me right now.
/ashamed
Do you have the possibility to move?
If you're in the know with your gay friends/gay circle they might be able to recommend some doctors.
As for your sore bottom, lay off it for a week or so. I'd recommend you do the same if you had a chaffed wingding too. I'm not a doctor, but, that makes sense to me. As long as you're not having anymore issues (I don't know if your story was meant to say "yeah I'm having more issues"), I think you'll be good.
Additionally, we aren't professional therapists, so be careful about relying too much on the internet as your "trusted source". Some of us have been through some real shit in our lives, but while your docs may seem cool and distant, your medical issues still need to be addressed by medical professionals.
The ache she had was caused by hemorrhoids that developed. Maybe have a doc check you for 'em.
I so desperately want to move.
I just recently worked with DARS to get a job again. And im making some more money ( which is nice ) but me and my mom are sorta stuck here for now. I mean part of why we live where we do is cause san angelo is a financial black hole.
The property values here and the money you get pale in comparison to most places. We live in a 3 bedroom split level apartment with a maid service. Sounds ritzy right? Costs us 700 dollars a month, plus 200 in utilties.
900 dollars a month, and we have a fucking MAID.
Also the money we make, is a lot for San Angelo, but without getting into better jobs elsewhere first, or getting a job offer first.. Austin is like... a pipedream. Its very expensive compared to here.
It would mean giving up on a lot of things for not so guarenteed comfort. And it would be only on my behalf. Its a lot to ask for.
Luckily, my mom, despite whatever disagreements we have, wants to move too.
Its just... we fucking cant right now. She landed a job that pays 52k a year in her favorite type of job ( QMRP Administrator ) And i make like... 7 bucks an hour 20 hours a week, plus some money from disability. I wish i could provide more for us. I keep kicking myself over and over cause i cant provide like my mom can. Im a college drop out.... with disabilities that keep me from doing manual labor, and mental problems that make the office enviroment im in hard to tolerate. That and my cubicle buddy seems to love country music and gets to play it on his radio.
Anyways... it just isnt working out like i wish it would. Its a lot for me to ask for us to move. And doing it on my own isnt very likely.
Also... you are damn fucking right. Even the "normals" are miserable here in San Angelo. This place sucks the life out of you. Its so god damn... mediocre.
On Topic:
I use a really good hypo allergenic lube. Ive never had problems with it before. Someone pm'ed me with some good advice. Try something smaller/take it easy.
Ive been overdoing it possibly with something a tad too big. So i think thats my problem.
Looks like I got beat to the punch on that one
Get something with aloe in it to soothe the pain, but there's nothing lasting that is going to remain, just lay off for a few days.
Official gay advice administered.
8-)
Are you in to the thrusting aspect of the dildo or do you just like having something in your ass? If it's the second, I'd highly recommend a butt plug instead of a dildo. You can leave it in, and while you can still move it, it's more about having something in your ass while you masturbate.