The life insurance does cover my fathers burial but it's not here yet. Unfortunately he was the primary source of income in our family and had what can be best described as a really shitty turn of events when it comes to his coverage. My mother has dollars coming to cover the cost of arrangements but it looks like it won't be here in time to pay everybody off.
This is awkward. Any advice or ideas? She has already called a loan place but I think her credit is far too awful. It looks like the life insurance she has for him will arrive one week too late.
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admanbunionize your workplaceSeattle, WARegistered Userregular
edited July 2011
Talk to the funeral home? I would think they'd be willing to setup a payment plan.
Really, just writing up a contract that says, "we'll pay you in one week" would be enough, I'd think.
Yeah, the funeral industry is in the business of dealing with sadness and tragedy, they're exactly the kind of people who understand about money being tight.
This may be terribly awkward for you to ask, but would any of your extended family members be willing to cover some of the cost? If he had any siblings or surviving parents, then they could be willing to cover part of the cost.
edit: in a wonderful stroke of brilliance money was tight and he just switched to a new a job a little less than a year ago so his life insurance plan went kaput about a month prior to his death.
I've had to deal with three different funeral homes in recent years, and all of them had forms on hand to sign the life insurance policy over to them on the spot. It would still take a while for the process to go through and get the money, but they'd consider it payment.
Really sorry you've had to deal with this so much Hevach. I at least hope you were more prepared than we were because the amount of stress is insane. Either way you have my condolences. I'll relate that news to my mother. Thank you.
edit: when it's signed over are there additional charges if the insurance is more than the cost required by the funeral home?
I'd assume just the balance would go to them, but that's crazy your insurance company isn't paying up in a timely manner. is that standard practice? or did something happen to hold things up?
You can cut costs by not letting the funeral home talk you into a bunch of extras. Especially don't order any flowers through them, sometimes the markup is more than 10 times what you'd pay by going to a florist yourself.
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GalFridayCommunity and Social Media ManagerNovatoRegistered Userregular
edited July 2011
I am sorry for your loss. if you can give the home what they are asking for as a down payment, do so. I agree with the advice that you should not be talked into any extras. Funeral homes are in the business of making you spend more to alleviate your emotional pain, and really only time, family, and friends can do that.
In addition you may wish to let people that are coming to the funeral and wake know that you are under financial stress. You can do this gently by asking in the newspaper announcment, or however else you will contact his friends and family. Something like:
In lieu of flowers the family is accepting donations to aid in xxxx's final costs.
Again, sorry for your loss.
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Really sorry you've had to deal with this so much Hevach. I at least hope you were more prepared than we were because the amount of stress is insane. Either way you have my condolences. I'll relate that news to my mother. Thank you.
edit: when it's signed over are there additional charges if the insurance is more than the cost required by the funeral home?
There was a "convenience" fee involved, it was just tacked onto the bill, any excess I got in a check after the policy paid out. The fee was annoying, basically paying a couple hundred dollars for nothing, but sort of like having the cost of getting your taxes prepared deducted from your return when you can't plop down the cash up front it's not like you've got a lot of options.
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
You can cut costs by not letting the funeral home talk you into a bunch of extras. Especially don't order any flowers through them, sometimes the markup is more than 10 times what you'd pay by going to a florist yourself.
I have heard that this can be true for the coffin as well. Just really know the breakdown of what you're spending and what can be obtained elsewhere, and if you have it in you to do so during this time, try to shop around a bit.
ceres on
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
Yeah, the funeral industry is in the business of dealing with sadness and tragedy, they're exactly the kind of people who understand about money being tight.
I hope this isn't taken as a hijack or anything, but I just want to say that, unfortunately, I did not find this to be the case when my mother passed away a few months ago. In fact, I found it to be the exact opposite of what I expected (which was what you just said). They more or less demanded full payment from my father up front, immediately. And my father's credit was good enough, which he proved right then and there by calling his credit card company and putting it on speakerphone. The problem was very simple: My father's old card had expired and since we were dealing with my mother's illness during that time, my father never actually opened up that piece of mail and activated the new card. He was distraught and wasn't sure he could actually find that piece of mail right away.
The salesman we met gave us a 5PM deadline for that day or we "couldn't proceed" with the funeral arrangements...despite my father proving he had enough credit right there. At the most, he would have had to wait a week to get the replacement credit card. The salesman actually had the gall to suggest we ask extended family for financial assistance. It was very callous and upsetting.
DUE, I'm very sorry you have to deal with this. It's a terrible situation all around. The only advice I can offer is to ask the funeral salesperson you spoke to/will speak to explain exactly what your options are - to itemize every single aspect of the funeral arrangements. They are salesmen and act like salesmen, so it is a mistake to assume they are any different just because of the industry they are in. Their less expensive items, I've found, are nestled away in catalogs. The expensive items are what's on display and they always have extras crammed on them when possible. There is nothing wrong with choosing whatever is affordable for you, and there are most likely some affordable options. The plot seems to be the least negotiable thing, and the reason they demand that up front is because, at least as far as I know, the payment for that item goes immediately and directly to the cemetary.
DUE, I'm so sorry, there's enough to cope with when your dad dies, never mind about worrying about the cost.
My dad died 2 years ago, and I was in charge of the funeral. I picked the cheapest coffin - it was only going to be burned, anyway, and I made the service cards. We didn't have cars from the funeral home, just the hearse; I drove my mum in my dad's car, and LewieP's Daddy drove. I went to the local flower wholesalers the day before the funeral, and bought one of those things that sits on top of a coffin and some flowers, and did them myself - that saved hundreds, and we didn't put a notice in the paper, cos it cost too much. We also didn't have a wake, as my dad hadn't wanted one, we just went back to my parents house and had a cup of tea and some cake. <y dad knew he was dying, so we'd talked about what he wanted, and above all, he wanted us to spend as little as possible, so that my mum would have some money left.
I priced up 3 funeral homes the week before he died - my mum asked me to, and got prices off them, then went with the one I felt most comfortable with, who seemed to understand that money was very tight. Talk to them about what you can afford, and if there is a way to pay in instalments, or if they'll wait until the insurance pays out.
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Really, just writing up a contract that says, "we'll pay you in one week" would be enough, I'd think.
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edit: in a wonderful stroke of brilliance money was tight and he just switched to a new a job a little less than a year ago so his life insurance plan went kaput about a month prior to his death.
edit: when it's signed over are there additional charges if the insurance is more than the cost required by the funeral home?
Have you thought about cremation? I went through a similar situation in September with my brothers death and cremation ended up being the best option.
In addition you may wish to let people that are coming to the funeral and wake know that you are under financial stress. You can do this gently by asking in the newspaper announcment, or however else you will contact his friends and family. Something like:
In lieu of flowers the family is accepting donations to aid in xxxx's final costs.
Again, sorry for your loss.
There was a "convenience" fee involved, it was just tacked onto the bill, any excess I got in a check after the policy paid out. The fee was annoying, basically paying a couple hundred dollars for nothing, but sort of like having the cost of getting your taxes prepared deducted from your return when you can't plop down the cash up front it's not like you've got a lot of options.
I have heard that this can be true for the coffin as well. Just really know the breakdown of what you're spending and what can be obtained elsewhere, and if you have it in you to do so during this time, try to shop around a bit.
I hope this isn't taken as a hijack or anything, but I just want to say that, unfortunately, I did not find this to be the case when my mother passed away a few months ago. In fact, I found it to be the exact opposite of what I expected (which was what you just said). They more or less demanded full payment from my father up front, immediately. And my father's credit was good enough, which he proved right then and there by calling his credit card company and putting it on speakerphone. The problem was very simple: My father's old card had expired and since we were dealing with my mother's illness during that time, my father never actually opened up that piece of mail and activated the new card. He was distraught and wasn't sure he could actually find that piece of mail right away.
The salesman we met gave us a 5PM deadline for that day or we "couldn't proceed" with the funeral arrangements...despite my father proving he had enough credit right there. At the most, he would have had to wait a week to get the replacement credit card. The salesman actually had the gall to suggest we ask extended family for financial assistance. It was very callous and upsetting.
DUE, I'm very sorry you have to deal with this. It's a terrible situation all around. The only advice I can offer is to ask the funeral salesperson you spoke to/will speak to explain exactly what your options are - to itemize every single aspect of the funeral arrangements. They are salesmen and act like salesmen, so it is a mistake to assume they are any different just because of the industry they are in. Their less expensive items, I've found, are nestled away in catalogs. The expensive items are what's on display and they always have extras crammed on them when possible. There is nothing wrong with choosing whatever is affordable for you, and there are most likely some affordable options. The plot seems to be the least negotiable thing, and the reason they demand that up front is because, at least as far as I know, the payment for that item goes immediately and directly to the cemetary.
My dad died 2 years ago, and I was in charge of the funeral. I picked the cheapest coffin - it was only going to be burned, anyway, and I made the service cards. We didn't have cars from the funeral home, just the hearse; I drove my mum in my dad's car, and LewieP's Daddy drove. I went to the local flower wholesalers the day before the funeral, and bought one of those things that sits on top of a coffin and some flowers, and did them myself - that saved hundreds, and we didn't put a notice in the paper, cos it cost too much. We also didn't have a wake, as my dad hadn't wanted one, we just went back to my parents house and had a cup of tea and some cake. <y dad knew he was dying, so we'd talked about what he wanted, and above all, he wanted us to spend as little as possible, so that my mum would have some money left.
I priced up 3 funeral homes the week before he died - my mum asked me to, and got prices off them, then went with the one I felt most comfortable with, who seemed to understand that money was very tight. Talk to them about what you can afford, and if there is a way to pay in instalments, or if they'll wait until the insurance pays out.
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