So my wife, well now ex-wife I guess, and I have decided that our marriage needs to end. We may still have feelings for each other, but we just aren't truly compatible and end up sucking the fun and joy out of each others life. We want to do this without lawyers, we already know how we want to split assets and debts and thankfully we don't have any children or even pets. I'm not here for pity or anything. It's a thing, it happened, now trying to move on and learn from mistakes that were made.
I just have two questions that I don't know how to find the answers for.
1) We were married in Nevada, I am currently a resident of Wisconsin, she is currently a resident of Florida. Where do we file the actually divorce, or better yet where would be the best place to file?
2) How do we actually separate our debts? How do we tell our creditors "Yeah I'm responsible for X, She's responsible for Y," or is this even possible?
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I would recommend seeing a divorce lawyer. They can give you the best advice on where to file, plus they will help settle asset allocation, to include debts.
If that honestly is the best solution, then so be it and I'll find a way to pay for it. I'd just rather it didn't come to it
As far as the creditors, when I got my divorce in Oregon, there was a good stack of paperwork and on it there were section(s) where you could list out outstanding debts. Didn't have any though, so I can't comment on how that was processed, but as longs as both parties agree (eg you file the same paperwork and sign the same paperwork, stipulating that you both agree to the split), then when you get proof of that divorce back, I'd imagine that's what you have as proof to your creditors.
Also, depending on what debts you have, and the fact that it doesn't take much to make things messy and/or heated, a divorce lawyer may actually be the easier route, and doesn't have to be the most expensive either. I know my ex was all sugar and butterflies when we first filed, and then she started pointing out things in the house she was taking.
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3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
At each step of the way - from the first paper you file, you must provide notice to your spouse that you are filing it/recording it/that its going to happen, etc. Notice is huge and its regimented - its not enough to tell her, you have to record that your telling her via a piece of paper and then turn that paper in saying that you provided notice.
As for the division of stuff / bills. When you file for divorce, it will ask for a copy of the separation agreement - most states, this is a document that will be included with the final divorce decree (the thing that makes you unmarried). Some states have this down to a form, some states allow you to just write something up. There are templates on the web - just make sure it works with whatever state you're in.
This is where you write it all out - who is responsible for what and in what amounts. Not just bills, but assets too. Who gets the bank account, who gets the furniture, who gets the photos, etc. Also - don't forget benefits - write in that neither of you are seeking the other for healthcare, retirement accounts, or other spousal support (alimony) after the divorce.
I gotta get to work - I'll stop back in this thread and drop some detailed info for you later.
In general, what you'll do is file a no-fault, uncontested divorce which is simply both parties agreeing to get divorced. You'll file it in Wisconsin, and then you'll have to have your wife served with a defendant's affidavit, which she'll have signed and notarized stating that she agrees and does not contest the action, and then you'll submit everything to the court. You'll have to go to your county courthouse to get the paperwork started, so it may be best to go there first to simply get the paperwork and ask the clerk what your first step is.
You absolutely, positively must talk to a lawyer.
BUT.
That doesn't mean that you have to each have a lawyer to do the whole divorce. You can do a divorce yourself (every state allows pro se filings, it's just rarely a good idea). But to answer questions like "Where should I file?" and "Are there any potential traps to be aware of because we live in different states?" then you MUST meet with a lawyer initially.
This doesn't have to be expensive, by the way. Many state and county bar associations have free or low-cost referral services. In my state it's routine for this to cost you maybe $50 for an hour with a lawyer who specializes in the matter in question (family law, in your case). After you have an idea of what to do, then you can look at your state courts' self-help information. For example, Wisconsin has a Modest Means Program. (That page also has information about lawyer referrals.)
If you get anything online, stick to Nolo, their stuff is actually very good and you won't just be getting out of date forms.
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This, plus where ever you file should have paperwork and details how to seperate debt.
You could always call a lawyer, they usually give you a free consult over the phone.
My ex-wife and I divided assets and debts without a lawyer (we didn't have a lot of either, like $8000 debt and our assets were just things we divided up). When I paid off my side (used my car as collateral for a loan), we met at the bank and had notarized a statement saying neither she nor I owed anything to each other and no further debts could or would be accrued in the others' name.
I've been divorced for 10 years and have had no issues whatsoever.
Might be worth doing some research, but I believe it's easiest to divorce in the state in which you filed the marriage certificate. Since it's Nevada, you could probably do it through the mail, as I imagine it's a fairly common thing there.
Steam
Only the strong can help the weak.
The documents you fill out and sign will codify the various agreements you've made, so that you are both protected and everything is nice and legal.
For example, let's say she has a credit card she has always used but you are named on the account as an owner as well. If she stops paying the bills, you do not have a defense against the credit card companies just because she agreed to pay that bill. Visa will say "that's between you and your ex, pay us and sue her."
You can stop the hole from getting deeper by having the bank take you off of the account - new charges won't be your problem - but the old debt is yours until it is paid.