Being 33 doesn't exclude you from meeting women anymore then being 23 or 43 does. Think of the kind of woman you would like to meet and go to the kind of places that they would hang out. I'd caution against intentionally looking for a woman specifically for a relationship though. Find someone that you get along with and are able to build raport with and if things work out it could lead to a relationship, but don't go in expecting a relationship or trying to force one.
Also with regards to meeting women, have you tried Match.com?
In regards to the age vs. relationships and children situation...
My father was 42 when I was born and I am his only child. My childhood was peachy. He played baseball with me. He took me fishing. And so on.
He was rather clear that he simply wanted to make sure he got it right when he finally did get married and have a child. For him that came later than some. But as his son, I can assure you everything worked out fantastic.
In other words, don't stress yourself about being 33 and single. There's time.
Hewn on
Steam: hewn
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
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JohnnyCacheStarting DefensePlace at the tableRegistered Userregular
I don't get it, personally I can tell my girlfriend anything, and I do. "Playing games" only leads to confusion and in the end that's not a good thing. That is not an example of a good relationship.
Oh so you don't have a girl friend that gets mad and you have no idea why. Then when you don't figure it out they think you are a jerk. Lucky you but 90% play games.
You've dated 90% of women, and they all played games? Or you've dated 100% and 90% played games? Or you've dated 3 and 3 played games?
Seriously. 90% of women play games? Just because that's happened to you and possibly your friends doesn’t mean that it happens in 90% of relationships.
Honestly, I’ve been with my girlfriend for two years, and I can easily talk with her about almost any subject. It’s really not that uncommon.
Yes, it really is that uncommon and it is especially uncommon with hot girls. Most of hot girls are just about insane.
So basically your h/a is "Be bitter and live like a monk"
Examine your own behavior if your experience with women is that bad
Man this thread is depressing. Your problems come from you not taking any initiative beyond the first step. You need to ask yourself what the fuck you are doing. Did you really expect someone to hand you a job on a silver platter? The job market is COMPETITIVE. To just waltz into a job you need to know someone high up or have family that are in the biz themselves.
Why didnt you intern anywhere? Why arent you applying everywhere you can to get a new job? What does your resume look like? Have you gone to the library and read books about how to get a real job? How the FUCK are you going to raise a kid on $8 per hour? What 30ish woman is going to want you to father her child when thats all your making?
I mean you can get away with being poor when your young but not at your age. You better start doing something RIGHT NOW to get yourself back on track. Everything that you do and DONT DO defines you. You arent where you want to be and if you dont take steps to get there then, well....
Damn man you should not be making $8.00/hr with a degree.
Tune up your resume and get that on monster.
As for A+, it can't hurt to get, but I work as a network administrator and I have nothing other then my BSEE.
I think in your situation you really need to get the A+ because that will look good on your resume. I'd focus on changing jobs first and improving the quality of your personal life first (good meals, nice place, spending money, saving money) and after that is on it's way to success I'd start looking for a relationship. Having your personal life in order helps you maintain confidance and shows that you are in control of yourself and your life. People tend to find that attractive.
You don't want to get into a relationship when your own life is not together. That's just planning for disaster and it might even be unfair to your partner.
My approach is a simple one, but a seemingly effective one. I'd be willing to share it with you, but first I'm gonna need to let you know that I have no idea of what I'm fixing to say. The words I type in the following paragraph will be as spontaneous as rainstorms in Dallas, Texas. But anyways, here's my advice.
As a 19 year old man, on my way to 20, I find that many things in life should be ignored. Namely, women. Now before you say "This kid is stupid, what does he know, he's only 19. He is probably sitting at his computer typing frantically, wearing a white tshirt and brown shorts. The very same ones he wore to class on Wednesday when he failed his Art History midterm and then went home and masturbated to the image of the girl that sits in front of him that wears those small skirts." But you are wrong my friend. I know quite a bit about the anatomy of females. I have a tendency to know people who are very good around girls, and from that, I have learned a few things. One of them being girls are only good for two things: nothing. I know that's one thing, but fuck you dude.
Good luck with the girls, bro.
Could not agree more. For some people it works, though, but i'm more of a Henry Rollins type personally. Girls fucking bore me. I've had girlfriends, done stuff, etc., but it's really not worth it in the end. I'm convinced there is not a single girl out there with a good personality, ugly or attractive. All the ones i've met just want to fuck with guys, they had no conception of what relationships or even friendships actually mean. The fact that these girls were mostly really attractive I don't think means much, i've heard the same from all over the world.
You can get the best idea of the reality of it by watching "Closer". That movie is spot-on about modern relationships among young people. I'm not putting all the blame on women, hell no, it's simply because the way men are and the way women are. Both are at fault, in their own ways. If I didn't care so much it would be easy to have a girlfriend.
tl;dr: Caring too much about the specific girl you're looking for will cause problems, and probably make it impossible. You have to just go with the flow and find a girl who's nice, that's it.
Well that first post had to be the stupidest thing I've read in a long while, to be quickly beaten by getting someone to totally agree with you within 12 minutes.
Contrary to what you said, it doesn't look like you are totally inexperienced, it looks like you have had a few experiences and been dismayed by the fact they weren't all ice cream. However, there might be some part of your rational brain which recognises that extrapolating "all girls are [insert here]" from a couple of examples, or the fact that you've "heard the same from around the world", is the height of utter idiocy: if so, give yourself a slap and proceed to piece of advice no. 1. If you really believe what you wrote, then give yourself a harder slap and preferably a vasectomy, then proceed to piece of advice no. 2.
Considering your current station in life, I would focus on your job first. You should start putting your resume out there wherever you can; get something entry-level and go from there - and make sure it's paying a damn sight more then $8/hr. If things are really that strapped for you, you may want to consider taking a second job to help jump-start that cash flow - and again, something more then $8/hr. Seriously, with a degree, especially a four-year degree, there's no reason why you have to have a job that's so close to minimum wage anyway unless circumstances where you live are that dire or you're just lazy (which sounds like that might be the case - I'm not trying to offend, I'm not too far off your situation, but I'm getting a jump on it now). As for your women problems, you're not that old - you still have time, but I'm not saying to continue waiting around. As for your bills and car; well a car is important - but for now, I would just think about getting something that gets you from point A to point B. I think there is something you can do about your student loans though, but I'm not 100% about it - you may want to ask around to see what you can do about delaying your payments on them until you get a better job.
I would say the best thing is just to find a better mindset for yourself - no more excuses, swallow your pride about where you are now, get yourself to want to better yourself.
Get out. Join a club or a drama group. Go back to school. Get involved in a sport. Do something. Get a shit job with the public in retail or something.
The idea of "someone right will come along" only applies if you're in an area where such traffic occurs.
Werrick on
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
OP: Does your school host career fairs or are you close to a school that does? Keep a look out - there are tons of companies looking for college grads, but if you don't know where to look you can easily miss them. Would your career counselor have any information in the area?
As far as the girl situation, have you tried joining a church? We had the biggest rat-bastard at my church growing up but every time a new woman joined, all the old ladies would try to set them up. They all knew he was a jerk, but he was one of their own and that's what mattered. It really does help to get people who will look out for you.
I can't help much on the serious dating front, I've been single for a bit more than 4 years at 26. But either you're not in a good situation in terms of location, or you are not making an effort. (I haven't been making an effort, in fact have passed up a few really good opportunities, because of some personal issues - but that's another thread.) You can work things like craigslist and friendster, just be prepared for a really high ratio of crappy dates. Having hobbies, taking classes, walking the dog, going to the gym... just put yourself in front of people, and get good at making eye contact and coming up with a conversation starter. It is a learned skill that can take a few years to develop.
As far as your job I'm just echoing most posters above, but you make $8/hr fixing computers with a business admin degree? I had friends who didn't do shit out of high school, and they could charge $20-40 an hour for that. One of them eventually got a full time job paying ~$50k from doing a day of contract work for a small school. I also know a guy who didn't go to college who got basic network admin certification, got hired by my lab at $40k a year, then added some more credentials and moved onto the public school system at almost $80k a year. Regarding retail, I knew a girl who didn't go to college, just worked her way up in retail, and now 8 years later she's making >$70k a year in an administrative position at trader joe's.
Where the heck are you living anyway? Do you want to live there? Do you have connections in the area that can help you get a job? If you're out in the country I would try to line up a job and move into the city, it's much easier to go up the career ladder there imo (would help with the dating too).
Want to max out how much money you can make? I'd spam my resume to about a hundred postings on monster or at a local career fair or something, looking for a decent level white collar job (not sure exactly what the entry level jobs are with a business degree). Go up the ranks for a couple years, go back and add the MBA, profit.
One last thought: it sounds like you're making a mistake I tend to fall into, figuring that the right job will solve your problems or that you'll love every minute of it. Find a job that is reasonably interesting and pays reasonably well, that's what you should be asking out of your career. You can't get fulfillment from your job alone.
This thread depresses me because this is *exactly* how I think I'll be feeling when I graduate in another 16 months.
What you should be feeling is motivation to go to your school's career guidance office, go to any career fairs on campus, mention your soon-to-be-graduated status and degree in front of everyone you know, and get your resume ready.
I'm 33 years old as well, going through a separation and yet I'm dating more now than when I was young and single!!! Dating has been very therapeutic...
Are you having difficulty meeting women in general, are you shy, have low self-esteem?
For me a great way to meet girls is online as I'm generally shy, hate bars and don't have many local friends. Most girls (if not all) go online looking for relationships, not hookups. If you're going to do that you gotta sell yourself though, make yourself presentable to the opposite sex. Meaning...
1. Look good or have recent photos of you that are appealing.
2. Write a profile that doesn't isn't aggressive or perverted. Be fun & interesting.
3. Be honest about what you're looking for and who you are!
Reading through everyones comments, I can offer my advice.
1. Asking for help on the internet is a good start (trust me this forum saved me so many times)
2. What do you do in a day? What is your average week? Do you work 40-50 hours a week? Do you do anything on you days off?
3. How do you solve your job dilemma? Are you looking, relying on the opportunity to hit you? My experience both of these situations have to work together, when looking for internship I struggle and sent my resumes everywhere. Then when my internship ended, my job came without even working at it.
4. Relationships, do you go out to bars, group gatherings(carnivals, town events), Maybe joining an organization that has something of interest and find a partner through there.
5. Don't rush into things, try to document what you want and need out of life even if you don't know, think of thing you want to do. You like Japanese, go to Japanese courses, events, seminars, or Little Tokyo Town area?
Honestly this may sound weird, get some sort of journal and write about this. It will help you figure things out and maybe you can find your answers there.
If you ever need help on the resume, people here are willing to help, check me website out if you need some pointers or style. Google resumes styles to get some ideas, also invest in a book on Interviews/resumes/public speaking to help you.
We are IM/PM/w/e away if you need help, PA is here to help
Horus on
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
You need to work on one thing at a time at this point. Right now, the area you can work that you're almost guaranteed to get results in the next year is your career. My recommendation regarding this are as follows:
1) Start applying at companies that are Japan-based or have branches in Japan. Apply for entry level business positions - not retail. Research each company you apply to briefly and customize your resume for the position and company. Apply to companies all over the country and be ready to relocate and include this on your applications/resume (this may require saving some money - more on this later).
2) If you do land an interview, do even more research. Make sure you stress your goals...you want to grow in whatever company you get into - this is why you should apply only to companies you would like to work for, even if the entry level position you get is not exactly what you want.
3) If you want to eventually be part of their Japanese interface, well, once you're hired go take some language classes in your spare time.
To do this, you're going to need to save some money for relocation costs since, at the entry level, you're unlikely to be provided it by your employer. You're also going to have to think about the possibility of having to travel for interviews. There are a couple of ways you can do this.
- Depending on the type of loan you have, you could request a deferrment. You would need to talk to your lender about your options.
- You could also take out a personal loan from a bank, or borrow money from a friend. The bank option is preferable in most cases. I know you don't want to owe more money, but it's really more of an investment in your future.
- Sell your car and buy a cheaper one so that you can save on the payments.
- Work an additional job for a few months to save money to pay for your future relocation and interviews. I'm guessing, depending on how much stuff you have and how far you might end up relocating, that you'll need approximately $3000. Again, it's hard to tell.
On the relationship front, with all the above going on or any variation of it, you may not have time to pursue a relationship right now. Also, if you move, you might want to wait until you get to your new place to start looking. Just keep your eyes open in the meantime. Once you get settled, working a better paying job and taking Japanese, that might be the best time to actively look. You should also figure out exactly what it is you're looking for:
1) a girlfriend
2) a girlfriend that you want to spend the rest of your life with
3) a girlfriend that you want to spend the rest of your life with and marry
4) number 3 plus kids
If you don't know, then feel free to start with number 1 and see how it feels, but make sure it's what you want, not just what you feel you're supposed to do.
Here's a thought, that mainly would be part of finding a new job somewhere else:
Move to a city. Milwaukee maybe. Chicago would be fantastic.
I understand the cost of living is a lot less where you are, but if you can find a job somewhere in a big city, then you will find yourself in a much more active society than the one you are in now, and will probably be in a better financial situation in a year or so. Here's my wild guess about your town: Everyone there has known each other forever, right? Most of the married people knew each other since high school, right? If you can't see yourself finding someone there, and it would be harder there because your options are limited anyway (how many interesting things can there be to do there?), go somewhere you can.
I used to live in a town of 5,000. I know that if I had chosen to live there, my options would have been severely limited. So I moved to a city of 3 million, where I actually have options, and there are always people I can connect with if I try to find them.
Halkun, your over 21 and live in wisconsin. The only real places to meet people spontaneously here are bars. Otherwise your looking at things like blind dates from friends or single people get togethers.
If you don't think your a bar type of person, then you haven't been to the right bar. Theres a reason wisconsin can support 3 bars at nearly every intersection.
I understand the cost of living is a lot less where you are, but if you can find a job somewhere in a big city, then you will find yourself in a much more active society than the one you are in now, and will probably be in a better financial situation in a year or so. Here's my wild guess about your town: Everyone there has known each other forever, right? Most of the married people knew each other since high school, right? If you can't see yourself finding someone there, and it would be harder there because your options are limited anyway (how many interesting things can there be to do there?), go somewhere you can.
Kenosha is actually the 4th largest city in Wisconsin.
And I agree with him, get out of Kenosha and head either for Milwaukee proper, Madison, or Chicago. Kenosha is not a place for someone with a buisness major. If you moved to Madison, I could guarentee you would find a job somewhere playing at least $10 to $15 an hour. At the very least theres several call centers that are constantly hiring that start at $10. As for housing, I've seen apartments as low as $250 for an efficiancy. If you could find a roomate (not hard to do here) you could get a 2 bedroom to share for $700 pretty much anywhere but downtown.
Veevee on
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marty_0001I am a fileand you put documents in meRegistered Userregular
This thread depresses me because this is *exactly* how I think I'll be feeling when I graduate in another 16 months.
This thread depresses ME because it's late at night and I'm listening to Sufjan Stevens and this is a real deep problem and everyone's giving real deep advice. My life is boring and shallow by comparison.
This thread depresses me because this is *exactly* how I think I'll be feeling when I graduate in another 16 months.
This thread depresses ME because it's late at night and I'm listening to Sufjan Stevens and this is a real deep problem and everyone's giving real deep advice. My life is boring and shallow by comparison.
This thread depresses ME because I typically can't stand going to church.
Slagmire on
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The Black HunterThe key is a minimum of compromise, and a simple,unimpeachable reason to existRegistered Userregular
edited August 2007
Someone earlier said the sentence "Put yourself in the path of strangers".
Brilliant advice, I'll just add a bit more to it.
You want to do this, but you want it to be a regular crowd. There is little point in doing it if you never see half the prospective other halves again. You want to be able to recognise them and see them regularly, so things might sprout up over time.
btw: This thread deppresses me because the very idea of having a grilfriend seems like somethng that happens to people on another planet. I have never had a girlfriend, or even a friend who was a girl until recently. I am ugly, annoying and smart in all the wrong areas (As in, I am a total smartass super-philosipher cockwad, who gets "C"s in everything) and the very idea that a girl could ever be attracted to me doesnt even exist.
Someone earlier said the sentence "Put yourself in the path of strangers".
Brilliant advice, I'll just add a bit more to it.
You want to do this, but you want it to be a regular crowd. There is little point in doing it if you never see half the prospective other halves again. You want to be able to recognise them and see them regularly, so things might sprout up over time.
btw: This thread deppresses me because the very idea of having a grilfriend seems like somethng that happens to people on another planet. I have never had a girlfriend, or even a friend who was a girl until recently. I am ugly, annoying and smart in all the wrong areas (As in, I am a total smartass super-philosipher cockwad, who gets "C"s in everything) and the very idea that a girl could ever be attracted to me doesnt even exist.
Oh my God me too!
It sucks being smarter then most people around you but still being a horrible speller.
As far as the girl situation, have you tried joining a church?
Shouldn't going to church be about church and faith? There's something skeevy about going to church to hook up.
Also it strikes me as being like going to England to try to buy a submachinegun...
Well, if it's bizzaro england where everybody has a submachine gun they REALLY want to use, and in fact, get the biological urge to use every time they see, hear about, think about, or even notice the vauge outline of somebody else's submachinegun under their clothes, but they are constantly told, "No, don't fire that gun" by authority figures...which just leaves them wondering, "Man, I wonder what it's like to fire the submachinegun...repeatedly...with Susie from the Choir" . . . then yeah.
And while skeezy JUST to go for women, if the dude is already religious, it's not out of the role of the church to be part of your social life, and it isn't bad to look for a church that say, has people your own age. Yeah, you don't want to be the Church Crashers, starring Vince Vaughn, but you don't HAVE to go to the stuffiest church you can find either.
As far as the girl situation, have you tried joining a church?
Shouldn't going to church be about church and faith? There's something skeevy about going to church to hook up.
Also it strikes me as being like going to England to try to buy a submachinegun...
Well, if it's bizzaro england where everybody has a submachine gun they REALLY want to use, and in fact, get the biological urge to use every time they see, hear about, think about, or even notice the vauge outline of somebody else's submachinegun under their clothes, but they are constantly told, "No, don't fire that gun" by authority figures...which just leaves them wondering, "Man, I wonder what it's like to fire the submachinegun...repeatedly...with Susie from the Choir" . . . then yeah.
And while skeezy JUST to go for women, if the dude is already religious, it's not out of the role of the church to be part of your social life, and it isn't bad to look for a church that say, has people your own age. Yeah, you don't want to be the Church Crashers, starring Vince Vaughn, but you don't HAVE to go to the stuffiest church you can find either.
And if you give church a chance, I know plenty of people who have turned out better for it.
Hell, someone I know managed to get a heroin addict hooker straight after taking her to church once.
And the people are usually extremely nice. Hence why getting a lady-friend who goes to church ca be a good thing. So long as you don;t have much of a libido.
Posts
Also with regards to meeting women, have you tried Match.com?
My father was 42 when I was born and I am his only child. My childhood was peachy. He played baseball with me. He took me fishing. And so on.
He was rather clear that he simply wanted to make sure he got it right when he finally did get married and have a child. For him that came later than some. But as his son, I can assure you everything worked out fantastic.
In other words, don't stress yourself about being 33 and single. There's time.
Warframe: TheBaconDwarf
So basically your h/a is "Be bitter and live like a monk"
Examine your own behavior if your experience with women is that bad
I host a podcast about movies.
Why didnt you intern anywhere? Why arent you applying everywhere you can to get a new job? What does your resume look like? Have you gone to the library and read books about how to get a real job? How the FUCK are you going to raise a kid on $8 per hour? What 30ish woman is going to want you to father her child when thats all your making?
I mean you can get away with being poor when your young but not at your age. You better start doing something RIGHT NOW to get yourself back on track. Everything that you do and DONT DO defines you. You arent where you want to be and if you dont take steps to get there then, well....
Tune up your resume and get that on monster.
As for A+, it can't hurt to get, but I work as a network administrator and I have nothing other then my BSEE.
I think in your situation you really need to get the A+ because that will look good on your resume. I'd focus on changing jobs first and improving the quality of your personal life first (good meals, nice place, spending money, saving money) and after that is on it's way to success I'd start looking for a relationship. Having your personal life in order helps you maintain confidance and shows that you are in control of yourself and your life. People tend to find that attractive.
You don't want to get into a relationship when your own life is not together. That's just planning for disaster and it might even be unfair to your partner.
Well that first post had to be the stupidest thing I've read in a long while, to be quickly beaten by getting someone to totally agree with you within 12 minutes.
Contrary to what you said, it doesn't look like you are totally inexperienced, it looks like you have had a few experiences and been dismayed by the fact they weren't all ice cream. However, there might be some part of your rational brain which recognises that extrapolating "all girls are [insert here]" from a couple of examples, or the fact that you've "heard the same from around the world", is the height of utter idiocy: if so, give yourself a slap and proceed to piece of advice no. 1. If you really believe what you wrote, then give yourself a harder slap and preferably a vasectomy, then proceed to piece of advice no. 2.
1:
I would say the best thing is just to find a better mindset for yourself - no more excuses, swallow your pride about where you are now, get yourself to want to better yourself.
Get out. Join a club or a drama group. Go back to school. Get involved in a sport. Do something. Get a shit job with the public in retail or something.
The idea of "someone right will come along" only applies if you're in an area where such traffic occurs.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
not settle for less--you are overqualified for that shit
As far as the girl situation, have you tried joining a church? We had the biggest rat-bastard at my church growing up but every time a new woman joined, all the old ladies would try to set them up. They all knew he was a jerk, but he was one of their own and that's what mattered. It really does help to get people who will look out for you.
As far as your job I'm just echoing most posters above, but you make $8/hr fixing computers with a business admin degree? I had friends who didn't do shit out of high school, and they could charge $20-40 an hour for that. One of them eventually got a full time job paying ~$50k from doing a day of contract work for a small school. I also know a guy who didn't go to college who got basic network admin certification, got hired by my lab at $40k a year, then added some more credentials and moved onto the public school system at almost $80k a year. Regarding retail, I knew a girl who didn't go to college, just worked her way up in retail, and now 8 years later she's making >$70k a year in an administrative position at trader joe's.
Where the heck are you living anyway? Do you want to live there? Do you have connections in the area that can help you get a job? If you're out in the country I would try to line up a job and move into the city, it's much easier to go up the career ladder there imo (would help with the dating too).
Want to max out how much money you can make? I'd spam my resume to about a hundred postings on monster or at a local career fair or something, looking for a decent level white collar job (not sure exactly what the entry level jobs are with a business degree). Go up the ranks for a couple years, go back and add the MBA, profit.
One last thought: it sounds like you're making a mistake I tend to fall into, figuring that the right job will solve your problems or that you'll love every minute of it. Find a job that is reasonably interesting and pays reasonably well, that's what you should be asking out of your career. You can't get fulfillment from your job alone.
Shouldn't going to church be about church and faith? There's something skeevy about going to church to hook up.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
Also it strikes me as being like going to England to try to buy a submachinegun...
What you should be feeling is motivation to go to your school's career guidance office, go to any career fairs on campus, mention your soon-to-be-graduated status and degree in front of everyone you know, and get your resume ready.
Are you having difficulty meeting women in general, are you shy, have low self-esteem?
For me a great way to meet girls is online as I'm generally shy, hate bars and don't have many local friends. Most girls (if not all) go online looking for relationships, not hookups. If you're going to do that you gotta sell yourself though, make yourself presentable to the opposite sex. Meaning...
1. Look good or have recent photos of you that are appealing.
2. Write a profile that doesn't isn't aggressive or perverted. Be fun & interesting.
3. Be honest about what you're looking for and who you are!
I'd recommend having a job lined up that will support you or be a lead in toa career path you want in advanced then.
1. Asking for help on the internet is a good start (trust me this forum saved me so many times)
2. What do you do in a day? What is your average week? Do you work 40-50 hours a week? Do you do anything on you days off?
3. How do you solve your job dilemma? Are you looking, relying on the opportunity to hit you? My experience both of these situations have to work together, when looking for internship I struggle and sent my resumes everywhere. Then when my internship ended, my job came without even working at it.
4. Relationships, do you go out to bars, group gatherings(carnivals, town events), Maybe joining an organization that has something of interest and find a partner through there.
5. Don't rush into things, try to document what you want and need out of life even if you don't know, think of thing you want to do. You like Japanese, go to Japanese courses, events, seminars, or Little Tokyo Town area?
Honestly this may sound weird, get some sort of journal and write about this. It will help you figure things out and maybe you can find your answers there.
If you ever need help on the resume, people here are willing to help, check me website out if you need some pointers or style. Google resumes styles to get some ideas, also invest in a book on Interviews/resumes/public speaking to help you.
We are IM/PM/w/e away if you need help, PA is here to help
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
1) Start applying at companies that are Japan-based or have branches in Japan. Apply for entry level business positions - not retail. Research each company you apply to briefly and customize your resume for the position and company. Apply to companies all over the country and be ready to relocate and include this on your applications/resume (this may require saving some money - more on this later).
2) If you do land an interview, do even more research. Make sure you stress your goals...you want to grow in whatever company you get into - this is why you should apply only to companies you would like to work for, even if the entry level position you get is not exactly what you want.
3) If you want to eventually be part of their Japanese interface, well, once you're hired go take some language classes in your spare time.
To do this, you're going to need to save some money for relocation costs since, at the entry level, you're unlikely to be provided it by your employer. You're also going to have to think about the possibility of having to travel for interviews. There are a couple of ways you can do this.
- Depending on the type of loan you have, you could request a deferrment. You would need to talk to your lender about your options.
- You could also take out a personal loan from a bank, or borrow money from a friend. The bank option is preferable in most cases. I know you don't want to owe more money, but it's really more of an investment in your future.
- Sell your car and buy a cheaper one so that you can save on the payments.
- Work an additional job for a few months to save money to pay for your future relocation and interviews. I'm guessing, depending on how much stuff you have and how far you might end up relocating, that you'll need approximately $3000. Again, it's hard to tell.
On the relationship front, with all the above going on or any variation of it, you may not have time to pursue a relationship right now. Also, if you move, you might want to wait until you get to your new place to start looking. Just keep your eyes open in the meantime. Once you get settled, working a better paying job and taking Japanese, that might be the best time to actively look. You should also figure out exactly what it is you're looking for:
1) a girlfriend
2) a girlfriend that you want to spend the rest of your life with
3) a girlfriend that you want to spend the rest of your life with and marry
4) number 3 plus kids
If you don't know, then feel free to start with number 1 and see how it feels, but make sure it's what you want, not just what you feel you're supposed to do.
Good luck
Move to a city. Milwaukee maybe. Chicago would be fantastic.
I understand the cost of living is a lot less where you are, but if you can find a job somewhere in a big city, then you will find yourself in a much more active society than the one you are in now, and will probably be in a better financial situation in a year or so. Here's my wild guess about your town: Everyone there has known each other forever, right? Most of the married people knew each other since high school, right? If you can't see yourself finding someone there, and it would be harder there because your options are limited anyway (how many interesting things can there be to do there?), go somewhere you can.
I used to live in a town of 5,000. I know that if I had chosen to live there, my options would have been severely limited. So I moved to a city of 3 million, where I actually have options, and there are always people I can connect with if I try to find them.
If you don't think your a bar type of person, then you haven't been to the right bar. Theres a reason wisconsin can support 3 bars at nearly every intersection.
Kenosha is actually the 4th largest city in Wisconsin.
And I agree with him, get out of Kenosha and head either for Milwaukee proper, Madison, or Chicago. Kenosha is not a place for someone with a buisness major. If you moved to Madison, I could guarentee you would find a job somewhere playing at least $10 to $15 an hour. At the very least theres several call centers that are constantly hiring that start at $10. As for housing, I've seen apartments as low as $250 for an efficiancy. If you could find a roomate (not hard to do here) you could get a 2 bedroom to share for $700 pretty much anywhere but downtown.
This thread depresses ME because it's late at night and I'm listening to Sufjan Stevens and this is a real deep problem and everyone's giving real deep advice. My life is boring and shallow by comparison.
This thread depresses ME because I typically can't stand going to church.
Brilliant advice, I'll just add a bit more to it.
You want to do this, but you want it to be a regular crowd. There is little point in doing it if you never see half the prospective other halves again. You want to be able to recognise them and see them regularly, so things might sprout up over time.
btw: This thread deppresses me because the very idea of having a grilfriend seems like somethng that happens to people on another planet. I have never had a girlfriend, or even a friend who was a girl until recently. I am ugly, annoying and smart in all the wrong areas (As in, I am a total smartass super-philosipher cockwad, who gets "C"s in everything) and the very idea that a girl could ever be attracted to me doesnt even exist.
Oh my God me too!
It sucks being smarter then most people around you but still being a horrible speller.
Well, if it's bizzaro england where everybody has a submachine gun they REALLY want to use, and in fact, get the biological urge to use every time they see, hear about, think about, or even notice the vauge outline of somebody else's submachinegun under their clothes, but they are constantly told, "No, don't fire that gun" by authority figures...which just leaves them wondering, "Man, I wonder what it's like to fire the submachinegun...repeatedly...with Susie from the Choir" . . . then yeah.
And while skeezy JUST to go for women, if the dude is already religious, it's not out of the role of the church to be part of your social life, and it isn't bad to look for a church that say, has people your own age. Yeah, you don't want to be the Church Crashers, starring Vince Vaughn, but you don't HAVE to go to the stuffiest church you can find either.
I host a podcast about movies.
And if you give church a chance, I know plenty of people who have turned out better for it.
Hell, someone I know managed to get a heroin addict hooker straight after taking her to church once.
And the people are usually extremely nice. Hence why getting a lady-friend who goes to church ca be a good thing. So long as you don;t have much of a libido.