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Terribly Sad Stories

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    walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Neli wrote: »
    aaabu7.jpg

    I knew a female soldier once

    She liked to punch my shoulder really hard

    Ok... I think we all need to stop the argument and come to an agreement on what a woman is. Because that isn't a woman. Dear christ... that isn't a woman.

    walnutmon on
    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
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    SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    i believe men and women are the same

    well it is easier to beat up on women

    i also get boners from it

    probably why i like beating them i guess

    who knows

    Seph on
    doit.png
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    HozHoz Cool Cat Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh God I just remembered I hit a girl when I was a kid for beating me at a sport.

    The sea of guilt I've forgotten is drowning me. Fuck this thread!

    Hoz on
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    Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Hey, Walnut, popquiz: You are the manager of small computer and electronics store. A beloved pet of one of your employees has died and the employee wishes to take the day off to bury the pet. Also, a gang of Latino criminals are going to kill your mother if yo do not suck a cock. What do you do? What do yo do?

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
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    WreckTechWreckTech Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Hey, Walnut, popquiz: You are the manager of small computer and electronics store. A beloved pet of one of your employee's has died and the employee wishes to take the day off to bury the pet. Also, a gang of Latino criminals are going to kill your mother if yo do not suck a cock. What do you do? What do yo do?
    True
    No, wait, I mean, false.

    Fuck, can I change my answer?

    WreckTech on
    I don't know what I'm doing.
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    ZonkytonkmanZonkytonkman Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    ahahaa

    oh shit

    what was that fuckers name again?

    Zonkytonkman on
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    walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Find the nearest girl, and shoot her in the leg. She drops to the floor, my mom gets killed, you use pet redundantly and I escape.

    walnutmon on
    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
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    SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    zonkey man thinking about my sig the scenario would be as such

    Me and lady date companion enter my apartment.

    "Would you like some coffee? I have some great coffees in the kitchen."
    She agrees.
    "Have a seat on the couch and I'll go make us some"
    Wait about 3-4 minutes
    From in the kitchen I say
    "Oh hey that book on the coffee table, don't open that please."
    I come out and she has an odd expression on her face
    refer to sig

    Seph on
    doit.png
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Neli wrote: »
    aaabu7.jpg

    I knew a female soldier once

    She liked to punch my shoulder really hard

    Chicks in the military are such sluuuuuuuuts.

    Shorty on
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    ZonkytonkmanZonkytonkman Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    meddle

    his name was meddle

    seph i can't stop giggling about your DS story

    and with that i am off to newfoundland

    Zonkytonkman on
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Its all the hormones.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Moral Deficit.

    meddle was the guy who wanted Robin.

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
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    ZonkytonkmanZonkytonkman Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    oh right

    Zonkytonkman on
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    SephSeph Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    yeah im tired of talking about beating women

    im hungry

    later

    Seph on
    doit.png
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh god that was Moral Deficit? I was wondering where that guy went, guess the latino gangsters got him.

    On that note, I think the greatest forum moral crisis was Shibby's "So, this girl" thread.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh god that was Moral Deficit? I was wondering where that guy went, guess the latino gangsters got him.

    On that note, I think the greatest forum moral crisis was Shibby's "So, this girl" thread.

    I tried my damndest to ignore that thread and I succeeded pretty admirably. I have only the vaguest idea what exactly happened.

    Shorty on
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    WreckTechWreckTech Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh god that was Moral Deficit? I was wondering where that guy went, guess the latino gangsters got him.

    On that note, I think the greatest forum moral crisis was Shibby's "So, this girl" thread.
    150px-Linkfromtlozww.jpgplz
    Because I am lazy.

    WreckTech on
    I don't know what I'm doing.
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    walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    aaabu7.GIF

    walnutmon on
    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Shorty wrote: »
    Oh god that was Moral Deficit? I was wondering where that guy went, guess the latino gangsters got him.

    On that note, I think the greatest forum moral crisis was Shibby's "So, this girl" thread.

    I tried my damndest to ignore that thread and I succeeded pretty admirably. I have only the vaguest idea what exactly happened.

    Honestly, I can't really remember all the details myself. I just know it involved pregnancy and all kinds of batshit irresponsibility that resulted from it.

    Or wait, I think the thread was boosted halfway through with the pregnancy announcement or something. God, it was a trainwreck.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    Volucrisus AedriusVolucrisus Aedrius Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    WreckTech wrote: »
    Oh god that was Moral Deficit? I was wondering where that guy went, guess the latino gangsters got him.

    On that note, I think the greatest forum moral crisis was Shibby's "So, this girl" thread.
    150px-Linkfromtlozww.jpgplz
    Because I am lazy.

    Its been banished to the twisting nether.

    Volucrisus Aedrius on
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    walnutmonwalnutmon Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Yeah, I can't post pictures. Bummer.

    Nice meeting you all, even the over sensitive ones... Which was pretty much everyone. Night.

    walnutmon on
    xbox: jmbizzo | ps3: walnutmon | steam: walnutmon | SC2: walnutmon.591
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    JimmyJimmy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    When I was 7, we were on our way to church. Outside the church a guy was asking for money all homeless and what not. I asked my mom for a dollar to give the guy and she said "No, he will just use it for drugs or booze." So, as I got a dollar later for the collection plate I pocketed it in the hopes of giving it to the guy outside. Well, my mother saw this and took me to the bathroom where she layed into me for "stealing from the church." I told her that I was gonna give it to the guy because he really looked like he needed help and I started crying. She didnt care, and I still got one of the worst beatings I can remember. When we left the homeless guy wasnt there anyway.




    This is another sad story in the life of me. I have oh so many.

    Jimmy on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited August 2007
    it is pretty sexist to say you'll hit men but not women!

    women have equal rights now

    they have the same right to a knuckle sandwich as the boys do

    Knob on
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    SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Oh Knob

    Silmaril on
    t9migZb.jpg
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    Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    It is pretty controversial to say that every human being is driven to uncontrollable levels of rage by those close to them.

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
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    StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    It is pretty controversial to say that every human being is driven to uncontrollable levels of rage by those close to them.

    let it go

    Stale on
    easysig2.jpg
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited August 2007
    how are everyone's feelings about putting a girl in an armbar

    can you armbar a girl

    Knob on
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    ZebesianPirateZebesianPirate Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    how are everyone's feelings about putting a girl in an armbar

    can you armbar a girl

    Well I think it depends on the situation.

    ZebesianPirate on
    thrownroomsigss2.png
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    SilmarilSilmaril Mr Ha Ha Hapless. Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Why hurt her when there's rohypnol?

    Silmaril on
    t9migZb.jpg
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    JimmyJimmy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    how are everyone's feelings about putting a girl in an armbar

    can you armbar a girl

    Is she hitting you?

    [ ] Yes. Goto 10
    [ ] No, but she is harming herself or someone else. Goto 10
    [ ] No. I just want to excercise my manlyness. Goto 20




    10 - Yes. This is a perfectly acceptable thing to do.

    20 - No.

    Jimmy on
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    ZebesianPirateZebesianPirate Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Silmaril wrote: »
    Why hurt her when there's rohypnol?

    Because real men use their muscles to restrain others.

    ZebesianPirate on
    thrownroomsigss2.png
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited August 2007
    okay what about the tombstone piledriver

    Knob on
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    PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    The wrestling move or the sexual position?

    Poorochondriac on
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    WreckTechWreckTech Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Both.

    WreckTech on
    I don't know what I'm doing.
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    ZebesianPirateZebesianPirate Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    okay what about the tombstone piledriver

    I have consulted some pictures, and again I think one must consider the situation before executing a piledriver on a woman. If the situation calls for it then yes.

    ZebesianPirate on
    thrownroomsigss2.png
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited August 2007
    because sometimes to initiate boning i pick holly up and yell UH OH BITCH TIME FOR THE TOMBSTONE and tombstone her onto the bed

    Knob on
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    JimmyJimmy __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    okay what about the tombstone piledriver

    If her clit is bigger than Chuck Norris's fist, this is the only thing you really can do.

    Jimmy on
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    ZebesianPirateZebesianPirate Registered User regular
    edited August 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    because sometimes to initiate boning i pick holly up and yell UH OH BITCH TIME FOR THE TOMBSTONE and tombstone her onto the bed

    Well, how does Holly feel about this?

    ZebesianPirate on
    thrownroomsigss2.png
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited August 2007
    When my wife wanted to bone, she would initiate a tickling competition.

    Or just grab my dong.

    Either of those.

    Shorty on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited August 2007
    Knob wrote: »
    because sometimes to initiate boning i pick holly up and yell UH OH BITCH TIME FOR THE TOMBSTONE and tombstone her onto the bed

    Well, how does Holly feel about this?

    hahahaha who cares

    Knob on
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