It would be depressing if these alts aren't actually all Henderson and there genuinely are this many different people eager to share their terrible dating advice. Doctor lady hasn't given me her number (I've sent her mine) or replied on OKC messenger for a while and our date is in about 25 minutes, so I'm starting to get a much less entertaining form of paranoia.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
As someone who has lived with the paranoia, let me be the first to tell you that paranoia is never really fun.
As someone who has lived with the paranoia, let me be the first to tell you that paranoia is never really fun.
I feel like this is sort of like people who say "omg I'm so OCD, I have to keep my desk tidy!" Its like, no, you like to keep your desk neat. If you were actually, genuinely OCD you would know about it. You would be physically unable to start your day without cleaning your desk eight times and have a mental breakdown if anything were missing or out of place. I've probably never experienced true paranoia.
Paranoia: Troubleshooters on the other hand is a lot of fun. Fun is mandatory, in fact. Failure to be happy is considered treasonous activity, punishable by medication, brainscrub, and/or termination. All hail the Computer!
Anyway, my date with doctor lady did in fact go ahead as planned and... it went okay. Something I'd never considered about doctors is that it basically consumes your life. She didn't seem to have much going on in her life outside of work, even her gymnastics was something she'd dropped years ago and presumably just put in to pad out her profile. She was nice enough, but the conversation was fairly bland. She doesn't play video games, she doesn't watch TV, and she reads but we have drastically different taste in books. She actually looked a lot better than her pictures though, which I guess were not so flattering. Doesn't matter, dated hot doctor?
I'd go out with her again I guess, since I generally consider the objective of date #1 to be to establish whether or not they're a serial killer, but I wouldn't be too broken up if she doesn't want to see me again. Maybe I need to think of a good activity date to get her to come out of her shell a bit.
Mr Ray on
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
As someone who has lived with the paranoia, let me be the first to tell you that paranoia is never really fun.
I feel like this is sort of like people who say "omg I'm so OCD, I have to keep my desk tidy!" Its like, no, you like to keep your desk neat. If you were actually, genuinely OCD you would know about it. You would be physically unable to start your day without cleaning your desk eight times and have a mental breakdown if anything were missing or out of place. I've probably never experienced true paranoia.
Or you'd be messy as fuck but still not be able to leave your room without the performing the right rituals.
...oh god people with OCD are secretly bound demons. It makes so much sense.
Yeah, my sister had a friend with actual OCD. Whenever she got something out of her handbag she'd have to open and close it a certain number of times, and she had a minor breakdown when a horse drooled on her.
As someone who has lived with the paranoia, let me be the first to tell you that paranoia is never really fun.
Good point. I used to have to check under my bed, in my closet, lock my bedroom door, and leave the light on to sleep because I was scared of monsters. Which I knew weren't real, but I couldn't really be sure, could I? And every whispered conversation or stranger laughing was about me. I couldn't wear headphones, because someone or something might sneak up on me, even though I positioned my desk to watch every entrance to my room.
That lasted until a few years ago. Fortunately, when I started a few medications for bipolar and ADHD it tapered off--not sure which did it, but something I take helps.
Yeah, my sister had a friend with actual OCD. Whenever she got something out of her handbag she'd have to open and close it a certain number of times, and she had a minor breakdown when a horse drooled on her.
Oh yeah I have actual OCD, but everything is a total mess. It doesn't manifest itself as keeping everything super ordered (with a few exceptions), it's mostly things when leaving rooms or going to bed or certain thoughts or whatever.
It's just kind of an annoying disorder to explain, because if it comes up, people 1) don't believe you if you're messy or 2) assume you're Monk.
Yeah, "I'm OCD cause I'm so organized and freak out!"
1) You have OCD, not are.
2) Being organized or clean is clearly not a disorder.
It was a "fun" time in my life when I wasn't sure if I was actually bi or if it was just the OCD fucking with my thoughts. :rotate:
Relationship update: We were having a rough patch again already and were taking some space, but then last night we visited her family and friends and had an amazing time and all seems well in the world.
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
Yeah, "I'm OCD cause I'm so organized and freak out!"
1) You have OCD, not are.
2) Being organized or clean is clearly not a disorder.
It was a "fun" time in my life when I wasn't sure if I was actually bi or if it was just the OCD fucking with my thoughts. :rotate:
Relationship update: We were having a rough patch again already and were taking some space, but then last night we visited her family and friends and had an amazing time and all seems well in the world.
Yeah, "I'm OCD cause I'm so organized and freak out!"
1) You have OCD, not are.
2) Being organized or clean is clearly not a disorder.
It was a "fun" time in my life when I wasn't sure if I was actually bi or if it was just the OCD fucking with my thoughts. :rotate:
Relationship update: We were having a rough patch again already and were taking some space, but then last night we visited her family and friends and had an amazing time and all seems well in the world.
Cuz of intrusive thoughts and stuff?
Yeah.
Oh hey, totally intrusive sexual stuff!
Am I gay?
Finally get a girlfriend. Oh, okay! Probably not gay?
Thoughts continue, is it the OCD?
Just OCD, I think.
Mental anguish until I accept that it is just my sexuality and not the OCD, and everything just feels right.
That took my entire teens and into my 20s to go through.
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
Yeah, "I'm OCD cause I'm so organized and freak out!"
1) You have OCD, not are.
2) Being organized or clean is clearly not a disorder.
It was a "fun" time in my life when I wasn't sure if I was actually bi or if it was just the OCD fucking with my thoughts. :rotate:
Relationship update: We were having a rough patch again already and were taking some space, but then last night we visited her family and friends and had an amazing time and all seems well in the world.
Cuz of intrusive thoughts and stuff?
Yeah.
Oh hey, totally intrusive sexual stuff!
Am I gay?
Finally get a girlfriend. Oh, okay! Probably not gay?
Thoughts continue, is it the OCD?
Just OCD, I think.
Mental anguish until I accept that it is just my sexuality and not the OCD, and everything just feels right.
That took my entire teens and into my 20s to go through.
Yeah I had sort of the opposite problem, cuz I'd have intrusive sexual thoughts that really were caused by OCD, despite being bi. Though honestly my sexuality's weird as fuck anyway because it just wasn't something I thought about before transitioning, and then afterwards I still didn't think about it because at that point I am all, whatever nothing is really a big deal to me comparatively.
It's much better dealing with the intrusions in work and such when I'm at least understanding myself, no big deal.
What do you mean by "despite being bi"? That you knew you were bi but that the intrusive thoughts were convincing you maybe otherwise, obsessions were one-sided?
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
It's much better dealing with the intrusions in work and such when I'm at least understanding myself, no big deal.
What do you mean by "despite being bi"? That you knew you were bi but that the intrusive thoughts were convincing you maybe otherwise, obsessions were one-sided?
Oh I just meant that, since I'm bi, you'd expect sexual thoughts about both sexes to be an outcropping of that, but really pretty much all sexual thoughts about men are intrusive and from other parts of my psyche (an are rarely particularly pleasant). I just don't spontaneously fantasize about men because my attractions are not particularly close to 50/50 in either numbers or strengths.
And yeah, understanding where everything is coming from makes it much easier to deal with, rather than just being confused and stressed.
MattitudePaste Pot PeteKicking The BucketRegistered Userregular
But love, love will tear us apart.
Again.
I got this Tumblr and I don't know how to use it.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
MattitudePaste Pot PeteKicking The BucketRegistered Userregular
Love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt.
I got this Tumblr and I don't know how to use it.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
I made a thread once. It didn't end well for me.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Of course... it was right in front of me the whole time. The secret to finding that special someone is lying! How did I not see this before!
I really don't know what I should do about doctor lady (as I will continue to call her). She was nice, but there was really no spark whatsoever. However, she seemed pretty nervous, and her profile question answers were rife with suggestions that she'd be shy and slow to open up, and as a guy who several years ago would have had an anxiety attack at the thought of dating strangers I'm sympathetic to that. I feel like I should give her another shot, but on the other hand I really found out very little about her, so I have no idea what to do for a second date. There's a dreamworks animation exhibition I'd like to go to, and "go to a museum" is pretty much nerd date 101, but if she's not actually into dreamworks or animation at all there could be a lot of awkward "Have you seen this one?" "No." "What about this one? "Nope." On the other hand, nothing ventured nothing gained and I want to go to the exhibition, so maybe I should just throw the suggestion out and see what happens.
I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone else ever gone on a second date after having a meh first date and had it work out well?
If you are a 'maybe' on it, I'm in the give it a second chance pool. But that's only because I've been in the seat of wanting a second chance and not getting it.
Surely there is some way they could make that not happen?
Edit: Needless to say, I deleted my account. Wasn't getting me anywhere, and after that...
Natinator on
Steam ID: natinator Xbox Live: Natman PRIME LoL: A1 Sauce
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MattitudePaste Pot PeteKicking The BucketRegistered Userregular
My housemate right-swiped his sister on Tinder because he didn't recognise her picture. Or her name, apparently.
He doesn't pay attention to ANYTHING.
I got this Tumblr and I don't know how to use it.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
Just moved area, and gosh the dating prospects are terrible. First message of the morning...Hey im winston you dont look old to me yoour hott
i live in crewkerne if you know where that is message me back xx
He's 22 and I'm 29, but please don't remind me that I'm an old lady.
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Just moved area, and gosh the dating prospects are terrible. First message of the morning...Hey im winston you dont look old to me yoour hott
i live in crewkerne if you know where that is message me back xx
He's 22 and I'm 29, but please don't remind me that I'm an old lady.
Only 5 errors in the sentence though - irrc that puts them in top 5% of intelligence rankings for that part of the south West.
Of course... it was right in front of me the whole time. The secret to finding that special someone is lying! How did I not see this before!
I really don't know what I should do about doctor lady (as I will continue to call her). She was nice, but there was really no spark whatsoever. However, she seemed pretty nervous, and her profile question answers were rife with suggestions that she'd be shy and slow to open up, and as a guy who several years ago would have had an anxiety attack at the thought of dating strangers I'm sympathetic to that. I feel like I should give her another shot, but on the other hand I really found out very little about her, so I have no idea what to do for a second date. There's a dreamworks animation exhibition I'd like to go to, and "go to a museum" is pretty much nerd date 101, but if she's not actually into dreamworks or animation at all there could be a lot of awkward "Have you seen this one?" "No." "What about this one? "Nope." On the other hand, nothing ventured nothing gained and I want to go to the exhibition, so maybe I should just throw the suggestion out and see what happens.
I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone else ever gone on a second date after having a meh first date and had it work out well?
Go for it. "Meh" isn't "might be murderer".
Might be murderer, too, though.
PLA on
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MattitudePaste Pot PeteKicking The BucketRegistered Userregular
It may just be a skewed sample size, but it seems the majority of women in my area and age group are apparently affluent, middle class, out getting wrecked every weekend, take 3-4 foreign holidays a year and spend most of the summer at various festivals.
Problem being that I find those things either boring or too expensive. Makes sending that first message a little intimidating. Also trying to find a positive way to say in my profile:
"hello I am an actor and musician that spends his time scraping by on low-wage casual jobs between gigs so I can't afford to travel much or at all so I don't have interesting stories about when I lived in Peru on my gap year and I don't plan to go to Australia antytime soon. Also the thought of spending a night in 99% of clubs in Central or East London makes me want to smash my face into a wall."
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm actually fairly happy with my situation. I get to do what I love to do, and get paid for it, more often than I expected at this point in my life. I just don't think that it's a situation a lot of folks would find interesting or acceptable in my age group, especially those from social backgrounds that have an expectation of a certain standard of living, freedom of movement, and level of disposable income.
I just don't want to create any false expectations of what I can actually do.
I got this Tumblr and I don't know how to use it.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
I made a thread once. It didn't end well for me.
+1
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Just moved area, and gosh the dating prospects are terrible. First message of the morning...Hey im winston you dont look old to me yoour hott
i live in crewkerne if you know where that is message me back xx
He's 22 and I'm 29, but please don't remind me that I'm an old lady.
Really? that's the level of quality of introductory messages people are sending you?
Just moved area, and gosh the dating prospects are terrible. First message of the morning...Hey im winston you dont look old to me yoour hott
i live in crewkerne if you know where that is message me back xx
He's 22 and I'm 29, but please don't remind me that I'm an old lady.
Really? that's the level of quality of introductory messages people are sending you?
They clearly don't want a reply!
He's an upgraded member, he cared enough to pay money! Trust me, by far not the worst message I get from guys round here. So glad I moved back for the year.
Just moved area, and gosh the dating prospects are terrible. First message of the morning...Hey im winston you dont look old to me yoour hott
i live in crewkerne if you know where that is message me back xx
He's 22 and I'm 29, but please don't remind me that I'm an old lady.
Only 5 errors in the sentence though - irrc that puts them in top 5% of intelligence rankings for that part of the south West.
I counted 10!
I've found a modicum of fun in grading messages I get sent. I don't tell them their grade though. That would be silly.
Posts
I feel like this is sort of like people who say "omg I'm so OCD, I have to keep my desk tidy!" Its like, no, you like to keep your desk neat. If you were actually, genuinely OCD you would know about it. You would be physically unable to start your day without cleaning your desk eight times and have a mental breakdown if anything were missing or out of place. I've probably never experienced true paranoia.
Paranoia: Troubleshooters on the other hand is a lot of fun. Fun is mandatory, in fact. Failure to be happy is considered treasonous activity, punishable by medication, brainscrub, and/or termination. All hail the Computer!
Anyway, my date with doctor lady did in fact go ahead as planned and... it went okay. Something I'd never considered about doctors is that it basically consumes your life. She didn't seem to have much going on in her life outside of work, even her gymnastics was something she'd dropped years ago and presumably just put in to pad out her profile. She was nice enough, but the conversation was fairly bland. She doesn't play video games, she doesn't watch TV, and she reads but we have drastically different taste in books. She actually looked a lot better than her pictures though, which I guess were not so flattering. Doesn't matter, dated hot doctor?
I'd go out with her again I guess, since I generally consider the objective of date #1 to be to establish whether or not they're a serial killer, but I wouldn't be too broken up if she doesn't want to see me again. Maybe I need to think of a good activity date to get her to come out of her shell a bit.
Or you'd be messy as fuck but still not be able to leave your room without the performing the right rituals.
...oh god people with OCD are secretly bound demons. It makes so much sense.
Good point. I used to have to check under my bed, in my closet, lock my bedroom door, and leave the light on to sleep because I was scared of monsters. Which I knew weren't real, but I couldn't really be sure, could I? And every whispered conversation or stranger laughing was about me. I couldn't wear headphones, because someone or something might sneak up on me, even though I positioned my desk to watch every entrance to my room.
That lasted until a few years ago. Fortunately, when I started a few medications for bipolar and ADHD it tapered off--not sure which did it, but something I take helps.
So I get it, and apologize for making light.
Oh yeah I have actual OCD, but everything is a total mess. It doesn't manifest itself as keeping everything super ordered (with a few exceptions), it's mostly things when leaving rooms or going to bed or certain thoughts or whatever.
It's just kind of an annoying disorder to explain, because if it comes up, people 1) don't believe you if you're messy or 2) assume you're Monk.
1) You have OCD, not are.
2) Being organized or clean is clearly not a disorder.
It was a "fun" time in my life when I wasn't sure if I was actually bi or if it was just the OCD fucking with my thoughts. :rotate:
Relationship update: We were having a rough patch again already and were taking some space, but then last night we visited her family and friends and had an amazing time and all seems well in the world.
Cuz of intrusive thoughts and stuff?
Yeah.
Oh hey, totally intrusive sexual stuff!
Am I gay?
Finally get a girlfriend. Oh, okay! Probably not gay?
Thoughts continue, is it the OCD?
Just OCD, I think.
Mental anguish until I accept that it is just my sexuality and not the OCD, and everything just feels right.
That took my entire teens and into my 20s to go through.
Yeah I had sort of the opposite problem, cuz I'd have intrusive sexual thoughts that really were caused by OCD, despite being bi. Though honestly my sexuality's weird as fuck anyway because it just wasn't something I thought about before transitioning, and then afterwards I still didn't think about it because at that point I am all, whatever nothing is really a big deal to me comparatively.
It's much better dealing with the intrusions in work and such when I'm at least understanding myself, no big deal.
What do you mean by "despite being bi"? That you knew you were bi but that the intrusive thoughts were convincing you maybe otherwise, obsessions were one-sided?
Oh I just meant that, since I'm bi, you'd expect sexual thoughts about both sexes to be an outcropping of that, but really pretty much all sexual thoughts about men are intrusive and from other parts of my psyche (an are rarely particularly pleasant). I just don't spontaneously fantasize about men because my attractions are not particularly close to 50/50 in either numbers or strengths.
And yeah, understanding where everything is coming from makes it much easier to deal with, rather than just being confused and stressed.
Again.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
I made a thread once. It didn't end well for me.
False.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
I made a thread once. It didn't end well for me.
Exactly
Three syllables, not bad.
Though I feel you'd be better off using a word that's four or more. For example: "videogame".
"Vid-e-o-game"
Impractical nonsense. People don't remember passwords. "Safeword" is a more optimised safeword. The association is solid.
You've been doing it all wrong, bros.
Praising butts, in Christ's name.
Amen.
It is meet and right so to do.
Of course... it was right in front of me the whole time. The secret to finding that special someone is lying! How did I not see this before!
I really don't know what I should do about doctor lady (as I will continue to call her). She was nice, but there was really no spark whatsoever. However, she seemed pretty nervous, and her profile question answers were rife with suggestions that she'd be shy and slow to open up, and as a guy who several years ago would have had an anxiety attack at the thought of dating strangers I'm sympathetic to that. I feel like I should give her another shot, but on the other hand I really found out very little about her, so I have no idea what to do for a second date. There's a dreamworks animation exhibition I'd like to go to, and "go to a museum" is pretty much nerd date 101, but if she's not actually into dreamworks or animation at all there could be a lot of awkward "Have you seen this one?" "No." "What about this one? "Nope." On the other hand, nothing ventured nothing gained and I want to go to the exhibition, so maybe I should just throw the suggestion out and see what happens.
I guess what I'm asking is, has anyone else ever gone on a second date after having a meh first date and had it work out well?
I just found my sister's profile...?
Surely there is some way they could make that not happen?
Edit: Needless to say, I deleted my account. Wasn't getting me anywhere, and after that...
He doesn't pay attention to ANYTHING.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
I made a thread once. It didn't end well for me.
i live in crewkerne if you know where that is message me back xx
He's 22 and I'm 29, but please don't remind me that I'm an old lady.
Only 5 errors in the sentence though - irrc that puts them in top 5% of intelligence rankings for that part of the south West.
Go for it. "Meh" isn't "might be murderer".
Might be murderer, too, though.
Problem being that I find those things either boring or too expensive. Makes sending that first message a little intimidating. Also trying to find a positive way to say in my profile:
"hello I am an actor and musician that spends his time scraping by on low-wage casual jobs between gigs so I can't afford to travel much or at all so I don't have interesting stories about when I lived in Peru on my gap year and I don't plan to go to Australia antytime soon. Also the thought of spending a night in 99% of clubs in Central or East London makes me want to smash my face into a wall."
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm actually fairly happy with my situation. I get to do what I love to do, and get paid for it, more often than I expected at this point in my life. I just don't think that it's a situation a lot of folks would find interesting or acceptable in my age group, especially those from social backgrounds that have an expectation of a certain standard of living, freedom of movement, and level of disposable income.
I just don't want to create any false expectations of what I can actually do.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
I made a thread once. It didn't end well for me.
Really? that's the level of quality of introductory messages people are sending you?
They clearly don't want a reply!
He's an upgraded member, he cared enough to pay money! Trust me, by far not the worst message I get from guys round here. So glad I moved back for the year.
I counted 10!
I've found a modicum of fun in grading messages I get sent. I don't tell them their grade though. That would be silly.