Match.com and similiar sites: worth it?

Murago · October 2008

Anyone have real life experience with this?

I'm pretty much over my last relationship. Five years that ended in flames back in april.

I enjoy women. I'm not too good at the whole meeting new people thing though. Is it worth it, is it stupid?I must know!

Thanks for any tips!

meeker · October 2008

I met a girl on Lavalife in 2004.
Were married May 07 and our son is now 2 months old.
I think we might have been a fluke, but as with anything in life, YMMV.

webguy20 · October 2008

www.okcupid.com

Free and plenty worth it. plus fun tests woo!

VisionOfClarity · October 2008

My dad met his current gf on eHarmony on my advice. My advice was based on me meeting my bf on OKC last year. I'd recommend it because a) on boring days the quizzes are fun and b) it's free.

Armored Gorilla · October 2008

My friend's advice on online dating:

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

noir_blood · October 2008

I had good luck with okcupid. Like someone else said, it's free, so that's nice. Depending where you live and how good you are at weaving the not the crazies, you can also try craigslist.

physi_marc · October 2008

I also recommend OKCupid. To reiterate its selling points: 1) free and 2) fun quizzes.

useless4 · October 2008

met the girl in feb '07 on match.com... getting married in 24 days.

it was my second time on match, the first time went pretty good ended up randomly hooking up with a girl i semi-knew already totally by accident (several states away and almost 15 years later from where we semi knew each other).

Tried Eharmony... hell no.
The absolute worse experience with crazy people i have ever met.

Doc · October 2008

I have had good luck with a local alt weekly newspaper's website. They are enormously popular with people of my age, so I figured that would be a good place.

It's The Stranger, for you Seattle folks. It's pretty great.

MichaelLC · October 2008

Got married to the girl I met on eHarmony.

It sort of depends on what you're looking for; it's like the forums here.

eHarmony is like H&A - fairly serious, but probably will get good results.
Match.com is G&T - A little looser, but more variety, some looking for relationships, others looking for 1 nighters.
OKCupid, Plentyofish is D&D - Even less strucuted than Match, but still a chance of finding a relationship.
LavaLife, AdultFriendFinder, etc. are SE - Buyer beware.

Septus · October 2008

OKcupid is set up well enough that it's worth spending a month or two there at no cost. Just getting on at all could open up a huge number of possibilities, probably less so later on from the trickle of new users

RUNN1NGMAN · October 2008

I met my wife on Match.com. I also met a bunch of girls through it who were definitely not right for me. It's not magic or anything, but it does make meeting people a little easier and you can break the ice through emails and IM's, which, at least for me, helped a lot.

Murago · October 2008

This is helpful and exciting! Thanks for the input guys

ihmmy · October 2008

okcupid and plentyoffish are two pretty good free ones (okcupid is prettier though)... check them out before throwing down bucks on anything. I've also used cupid.com, which technically you're supposed to pay to contact people but most people end up embedding their emails in their profiles

Quirk · October 2008

My mum met her fiancee on one of these sites and they're getting married in june, plus he's a doctor. So they can work

Quid · October 2008

I'll throw in for OKcupid. Met my wife there.

nonplussed · October 2008

Hm, so I have a question that's highly related to topic: How have you gents approached the first message? I've done it a few times and it's usually met with no response or leads to some really boring back and forth chatter.

I know I'm not crazy (at least, I don't think I am, but saying that just makes me seem even more crazy now, doesn't it?) and am self aware enough to know when something might come off as creepy or boring, so what's the deal? Enlighten me, you love gurus!

noir_blood · October 2008

Well, first you gotta remember that they probably get tons of messages, so your own has to stand out somehow. Don't say something like "hey, I liked your profile" or anything like that. If she mentions a book you read, let her know that, or ask her why it's her favorite. That sort of thing. Basically just like in real life, the more interesting you present yourself, the better.

Also, keep in mind that they might be checking your profile and not liking what they see. Could be something you can't change, such are your looks, or something you can, like the way you present yourself in said profile.

Quid · October 2008

Noir's right. Start off actually talking about something you have in common. Keep talking. Ask for an IM screen name if it keeps going so you can talk more often. If the chatting's boring then either the other person isn't for you or you're equally boring.

radroadkill · October 2008

Totally met Quid on OKCupid. I IMed him first because me mentioned a band I loved that most people I know had no idea of and I had recently seen them.

My actual first IM to him was:

"So, I want to tell you a story. Once there was a redhead who was really bored and taking quizzes and poking around on OKC and she saw a boy who likes the Horropops. SO..."

Before him I met a few other people; som who were good for conversations and friendship and some who were just creepy. The internet as a tool to meet people is just as hit and miss as real life if you approach them both intelligently.

Dalboz · October 2008

I'll be a naysayer here and say that they don't work. I've been various popular sites for about nine years now and have gotten jack shit out of them. However, judging by the posts here, I would seem to be the odd man out on this one, so I may just be a loser.

ben0207 · October 2008

Dalboz wrote: »

I'll be a naysayer here and say that they don't work. I've been various popular sites for about nine years now and have gotten jack shit out of them. However, judging by the posts here, I would seem to be the odd man out on this one, so I may just be a loser.

Not to be rude but are you sure the problem is the dating sites?

My Mum met her BF on Yahoo Dating about 6 years ago. They don't really believe in marriage but essentially are. So it does work.

Quid · October 2008

Dalboz wrote: »

I'll be a naysayer here and say that they don't work. I've been various popular sites for about nine years now and have gotten jack shit out of them. However, judging by the posts here, I would seem to be the odd man out on this one, so I may just be a loser.

The stuff really is hit or miss. Before meeting my wife I met both: A girl weighing over 200 pounds but took pictures from above (I was new to internet pictures) and a girl who used massive amounts of makeup to cover up childhood burns that required her to talk through a hole in her throat, something she neglected to mention.

So it's definitely not perfect.

Hlubocky · October 2008

I see nobody has mentioned the Springstreet network sites like The Onion and Salon.com. I met my fiance there. The people seemed a little quirkier than the typical Match subscriber.

Xagarath · October 2008

OKcupid is generally pretty good for making friends as well as dating. Just have to learn which people to steer clear of.

Arminas · October 2008

radroadkill wrote: »

The internet as a tool to meet people is just as hit and miss as real life if you approach them both intelligently.

I've toyed with the idea of looking at internet dating sites to meet people since moving to a new area. But I always felt there was a kind of negative stigma to doing this and would feel a little weird about it if I were to, say, tell people we met on whateversite.com. But I realize that more and more it's becoming 'normal' to do this and that the internet really is a way to meet people. It's just a higher density of meeting than say walking around town and chatting up someone you thought was somewhat attractive. Thanks for your insight. Though, on the other hand, I'm fairly happy being single but I miss the companionship I had before I broke up. And now that I'm out here without the same friends to fill the void, that companionship is missing. Especially since all the people I meet already have significant others and it can be awkward to be a third wheel to events or whatever.

Kyougu · October 2008

I just want to mention, that your mileage will vary depending on your area.

And stay away from eharmony. Their whole system seems to be really convoluted. OkayCupid and PlentyofFish are two good, free alternatives.

Arminas · October 2008

Haha, maybe I should find a map of crazies based on area first.

There was some article on The Escapist recently about how it was estimated one in every hundred people is a sociopath. And that there were 10.4 million subscribers to WoW leaving an estimated 100 thousand crazy people running in blizzard's servers.

But I digress.

Fireflash · October 2008

I've had a bit of success with such websites. But most of them ended up being flings or fuckbuddies. Fine by me!

Septus · October 2008

Success does vary quite a bit. I think Austin is one of the worst places to use OKcupid for younger folks, with something like double the number of men in the 20s age ranges than women, or worse, I forget the specifics. But even in a case like this, you join up, spend all of 5 or 6 hours total, over a week or two, answering enough questions to get some good matching numbers, and then you start messaging the group of women that are high matches to you. If it doesn't work, you forget about it a month later and you've at least tried a good resource for meeting women.

NotMeguChan · October 2008

Arminas wrote: »

But I always felt there was a kind of negative stigma to doing this and would feel a little weird about it if I were to, say, tell people we met on whateversite.com.

I have to say, "We met in WoW"...it can get more embarrassing than "whateversite.com". :P

As everyone has said, there's a lot of hit and miss with all the dating sites out there. I'd avoid Craigslist like the plague though as far as finding dates goes.

Campion · October 2008

I've had some success from OkCupid. Made some friends and a girlfriend. And of course, the quizzes are a good time waster.

Sakebomb · October 2008

I met a lovely lady on hotornot.com a few years back. We ended up seeing each other for 6 months or so. I only paid $5 a month for the "premium" membership.

I wouldnt expect to get good results from a dating site that charges more than that though.

useless4 · October 2008

I DO admit that I am having trouble writing "i met her on match.com" in our wedding program's story of how we met.

Derrick · October 2008

useless4 wrote: »

I DO admit that I am having trouble writing "i met her on match.com" in our wedding program's story of how we met.

Use the story of your first date as the meat, and gloss over the internet connection.

MichaelLC · October 2008

useless4 wrote: »

I DO admit that I am having trouble writing "i met her on match.com" in our wedding program's story of how we met.

We knew it was true love when her truck pulled up so I could fill her tubes...

VisionOfClarity · October 2008

We have no problem telling people we met on the internet. We've notied that among our age group no one really finds it that weird and my dad and his mom both know and they didn't bat an eye. My mom would wig which will be the only reason she'll probably never find out. Though I think she kind of knows because my half-assed met at a party story is pretty weak.

Fig-D · November 2008

NotMeguChan wrote: »

Arminas wrote: »

But I always felt there was a kind of negative stigma to doing this and would feel a little weird about it if I were to, say, tell people we met on whateversite.com.

I have to say, "We met in WoW"...it can get more embarrassing than "whateversite.com". :P

As everyone has said, there's a lot of hit and miss with all the dating sites out there. I'd avoid Craigslist like the plague though as far as finding dates goes.

My best friend and his girlfriend met through WoW, so its not that strange to me, but yeah, saying "we met each other online, actually" seems to be a pretty standard response these days.

I may being joining the OP in attempting the online dating thing here pretty soon. I only seem to meet only meet girls with boyfriends when I'm at school and work is a lost cause as I do bookkeeping in an office for a family owned home improvement company.

I swear I'm not a total loser, but my luck with love would certainly lead one to believe so.

archonwarp · November 2008

Fig-D wrote: »

NotMeguChan wrote: »

Arminas wrote: »

But I always felt there was a kind of negative stigma to doing this and would feel a little weird about it if I were to, say, tell people we met on whateversite.com.

I have to say, "We met in WoW"...it can get more embarrassing than "whateversite.com". :P

As everyone has said, there's a lot of hit and miss with all the dating sites out there. I'd avoid Craigslist like the plague though as far as finding dates goes.

My best friend and his girlfriend met through WoW, so its not that strange to me, but yeah, saying "we met each other online, actually" seems to be a pretty standard response these days.

I may being joining the OP in attempting the online dating thing here pretty soon. I only seem to meet only meet girls with boyfriends when I'm at school and work is a lost cause as I do bookkeeping in an office for a family owned home improvement company.

I swear I'm not a total loser, but my luck with love would certainly lead one to believe so.

I feel you man. My social circles are full of 'stable' people, most of whom are in relationships. I blame it on the fact that I don't like dealing with drama, and typically hang out with people who are the same way.

Arasen · November 2008

Well, I decided its hard to meet people when you work every Friday and Saturday night. I'm going to try out okcupid. Let ya know how that goes.

4rch3nemy · November 2008

Last night I went on my first date, meeting this (hot!) lady from www.plentyoffish.com for some pho noodles. We talked for 2 hours and decided to do it again (she was busy afterwards). So far I'd say this site is awesome fun and you can meet some great people out of it.

I've been on that site for about 2 weeks and have gotten several (4) offers to go further, but your mileage may vary, of course.

I can't recommend this site enough.

Penny Arcade

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Match.com and similiar sites: worth it?

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