Honestly, if presidential legacies were decided by the president's ability to ward off shoe attacks and then comment on them later, Bush would be pretty awesome. I'm gonna just say that. I mean, look at that dodge, come on.
So a lot of you may know that our president was attacked on 12/14
But what you may not know is things get a little deeper than you think.
12 = BUSH'S SHOE SIZE
14. LINCOLN WAS ASSASSINATED ON APRIL 14. Coincidence?
The year is 2008. The month is 12. 8/12 = 2/3
2 = THE AMOUNT OF SHOES THROWN
3 = ONE LESS THAN 4, THE NUMBER DENOTING THE MONTH LINCOLN WAS ASSASSINATED
Also, the year is 2008. 8? Sound a little familiar? Bush has been in office for 8 YEARS (!!!).
Also, apparently the type of shoe thrown was an Oxford. Oxford, like the university. Bush went to a university, Yale. In addition, Oxford is in Britain. Britain, where Tony Blair (a man who Bush had numerous connections to) was Prime Minister NOT SO LONG AGO!!!
IN ADDITION TO THIS DAMNING EVIDENCE
Look at the wall where the shoe hits. Notice something a little strange?? ME TOO. The wall would NOT react like that if it was the actual result of a shoe hitting. Notice the crimping of the flags. Clearly, EXPLOSIVES WERE PLANTED BEHIND BUSH.
The final and most clear proof that it was an inside job:
Look what Bush does right before the shoe is thrown. He shakes the man's hand and nods his head. Head-nodding, in many western countries, indicates "yes," "I submit to you," "please," and "go." GO. As in, commence. Shortly after nodding his head, a man in the audience commenced to throw the shoe.
Intelligence reports that in pre-attack dry runs, the man was not able to throw a shoe with such precision. In fact, not only does the shoe go right where Bush was SUPPOSED TO BE (???) but it is traveling very fast, far faster than shoes regularly travel.
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"Oh this isn't nearly as much fun as I thought"
"gharghblubblubghargleghargle"
The reporter was actually a CIA plant to make Bush look like a badass.
Back. And to the left.
Back.
And to the left.
EVIDENCE OF A SECOND THROWER?!
clearly an American hero
The attempt was so feeble. I was reminded of my cat casually swatting flies.
how about you look into the face of an assassin and YOU try to swat speeding projectiles like in a movie
the man did his best considering the circumstances
Biological warfare
a second shoeter
pretty bad assassin if he tried to kill him by flinging his shoe at him
This was goddamn beautiful.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
Feeble as in 'meh, I guess I will do it', feeble as in an afterthought.
Sir, you truly are a gentleman and scholar.
But what you may not know is things get a little deeper than you think.
12 = BUSH'S SHOE SIZE
14. LINCOLN WAS ASSASSINATED ON APRIL 14. Coincidence?
The year is 2008. The month is 12. 8/12 = 2/3
2 = THE AMOUNT OF SHOES THROWN
3 = ONE LESS THAN 4, THE NUMBER DENOTING THE MONTH LINCOLN WAS ASSASSINATED
Also, the year is 2008. 8? Sound a little familiar? Bush has been in office for 8 YEARS (!!!).
Also, apparently the type of shoe thrown was an Oxford. Oxford, like the university. Bush went to a university, Yale. In addition, Oxford is in Britain. Britain, where Tony Blair (a man who Bush had numerous connections to) was Prime Minister NOT SO LONG AGO!!!
IN ADDITION TO THIS DAMNING EVIDENCE
Look at the wall where the shoe hits. Notice something a little strange?? ME TOO. The wall would NOT react like that if it was the actual result of a shoe hitting. Notice the crimping of the flags. Clearly, EXPLOSIVES WERE PLANTED BEHIND BUSH.
The final and most clear proof that it was an inside job:
Look what Bush does right before the shoe is thrown. He shakes the man's hand and nods his head. Head-nodding, in many western countries, indicates "yes," "I submit to you," "please," and "go." GO. As in, commence. Shortly after nodding his head, a man in the audience commenced to throw the shoe.
Intelligence reports that in pre-attack dry runs, the man was not able to throw a shoe with such precision. In fact, not only does the shoe go right where Bush was SUPPOSED TO BE (???) but it is traveling very fast, far faster than shoes regularly travel.
AMERICA: YOU DECIDE.
I have explained the joke